Iingcali zeengqondo zentuthuko ziye zakuba nomdla kwindlela abazali abachaphazela ngayo uphuhliso lwabantwana. Nangona kunjalo, ukufumana izibambiso zangempela-kunye-effect phakathi kwezenzo ezithile zabazali kunye nokuziphatha kancinane kwabafundi kunzima kakhulu.
Abanye abantwana abaphakanyiswe kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo ezinokuthi bangakhula kamva babe nobuntu obufanayo. Ngokwahlukileyo, abantwana ababelana ngekhaya kwaye bakhuliswa kwimeko efanayo bangakhula ukuze babe nobuntu obuhluke kakhulu.
Naphezu kwezi mingeni, abaphandi baye bafaka ukuba kukho ukudibanisa phakathi kweendlela zokubeletha kunye nemiphumo yezi ndlela ezibonisa abantwana. Ezi mpawu, ezinye zibonisa ukuba, zithwele ukuziphatha kwabantu abadala.
Yithini Uphando
Ngexesha lama-1960, isazi sengqondo se-Diana u-Baumrind senze isifundo kwizingane ezingaphezulu kwe-100 zokufunda esikolweni. Ukusebenzisa ukubonwa kwemvelo , iingxoxo zabazali kunye nezinye iindlela zokwenza uphando , waqaphela ubungakanani obubalulekileyo bokuba ngumzali.
Olu hlobo luquka izicwangciso zoluleko, ukufudumala nokukhusela, iindlela zokunxibelelana kunye nokulindela ukukhula nokulawula.
Ngokusekelwe kwezi zilinganiso, i-Baumrind icetyise ukuba uninzi lwabazali lubonisa enye yeendlela ezintathu ezihlukeneyo zomzali. Uphando olongezelelweyo lukaMaccoby noMartin babuye bacetyiswa ukuba bongeze isitayela sesine sabazali kulezi zintathu zangaphambili.
Masiqwalasele ngokukodwa kwimiba emine yabazali kunye nefuthe abanalo lokuziphatha komntwana.
Abazali Abazali
Enye yeendlela ezintathu eziphambili ezichazwe yiBaumrind yayisitayela sobukhosi. Kule ndlela yokukhulisa abantwana, kulindeleke ukuba abantwana balandele imithetho eqinile eyenziwe ngabazali. Ukungaphumeleli ukulandela loo mithetho ngokuqhelekileyo kubangela ukuhlwaywa. Abazali abagunyazisiyo abachazi isizathu esivela kule mithetho. Ukuba ucelwa ukuba uchaze, umzali unokumphendula nje, "Ngenxa yokuba ndathi njalo."
Nangona aba bazali banemfuno ephezulu, abaxhomekanga kakhulu kubantwana babo. Bakulindele ukuba abantwana babo baziphathe ngokungafani kwaye bangenzi iziphene, kodwa banika isiqhelo esincinci malunga nokuba abantwana babo bafanele benzeni okanye baphephe kwixesha elizayo. Iimpazamo zihlwaywa, zidla ngokukhawuleza, kodwa abantwana babo bahlala bezibuza ngokucacileyo ukuba benza ntoni.
Ngokutsho kweBaumrind, aba bazali "bayamthobela-kunye neendawo ezijoliswe kuzo, kwaye balindele ukuba imiyalelo yabo ilandelwe ngaphandle kwengcaciso."
Abazali abonakalisa le ndlela bavame ukuchazwa njengabalawuli kunye nolawulo lokunyanzelisa. Indlela yabo yokukhulisa abazali ngumnye "wonga intonga, uphawule umntwana." Nangona benemithetho eqinile kwaye bekulindeleke kakhulu, abakwenzayo okucacileyo ukucacisa ukucinga ngenxa yezidingo zabo kwaye balindele ukuba abantwana bawuphulaphule ngaphandle kokubuza.
Umzali oQinisekayo
Isitayela sesibini esibalulekileyo esibonwa yiBaumrind yindlela yokugunyaza . Njengabazali bobuqhetseba, abo abanomdla wokuba ngumzali ogunyazayo bamisela imigaqo kunye nezikhokelo zabo abantwana abalindeleke ukuba balandele. Nangona kunjalo, lo mzekelo wokubeletha uninzi lwentando yesininzi.
Abazali abagunyazayo bayayiphendula abantwana babo kwaye bazimisele ukuphulaphula imibuzo. Abazali balindele abaninzi babo abantwana, kodwa banikeza ukufudumala, ingxelo kunye nenkxaso efanelekileyo.
Xa abantwana behluleka ukuhlangabezana nezilindelo, aba bazali bayakhuthaza kwaye baxolela ngaphandle kokugweba.
I-Baumrind icetyise ukuba aba bazali "bajonge kwaye banikele imilinganiselo ecacileyo yokuziphatha kwabafundi." Bayagxininisa, kodwa abaxhasi kwaye banqandekile. ukuzilawula kunye nokusebenzisana. "
Le ngxube yokulindela nenkxaso enceda abantwana bazali abagunyazayo bahlakulele izakhono ezifana nokuzimela, ukuzithiba nokuzilawula .
Umzali oVumelayo
Isitayela sokugqibela esiboniswe yiBaumrind yinto eyaziwa ngokuba yindlela yokuvumela abazali . Abazali abavumiweyo ngamanye amaxesha ababizwa ngokuba ngabazali abangenayo, banemfuno embalwa yokwenza abantwana babo. Aba bazali baqhathaniswa ukuqeqesha abantwana babo ngenxa yokuba banelindeleke ukukhula kunye nokuzithiba.
Ngokutsho kweBaumrind, abazali abavumelekile "banokuphendula ngakumbi kunokuba bafuna.
Abazali abaneemvume ngokubanzi bayakhuthaza kwaye banxibelelana nabantwana babo, ngokuqhelekileyo bathatha isikhundla somhlobo ngaphezu komzali.
Umzali ongenakuvuswa
Ukongezelela kwiindlela ezintathu eziphambili ezenziwe nguBaumrind, isazi sengqondo se- Eleanor Maccoby kunye noJohn Martin bacebisa isitayela sesine esaziwa singenakuvuthwa okanye ukunyaniseka kwabazali . Isitayela esingabonakaliyo somzali sibonakaliswa yimfuno embalwa, ukuphendula okuphantsi, kunye nokuncinci kakhulu.
Nangona aba bazali bezalisekisa iimfuno ezisisiseko zomntwana, ngokuqhelekileyo banqatshelwe ebomini babo bomntwana. Basenokuqinisekisa ukuba abantwana babo bayondla kwaye banendawo yokukhusela, kodwa banikela nto encinci kwindlela yokukhokela, isakhiwo, imithetho, okanye inkxaso. Kwiimeko ezimbi kakhulu, aba bazali banokukhahla okanye bawahoye iimfuno zabantwana babo.
Impembelelo Yendlela Yokubazali
Ziziphi iimpembelelo ezi zindlela zokubeletha eziphambili kwiziphumo zophuhliso lwabantwana? Ukongeza kwi-Baumrind yokuqala yokufunda abantwana abangama-100 abasesikolweni, abaphandi baye baqhuba ezinye izifundo ezikhokelela kwizigqibo ezininzi malunga neempembelelo zendlela yokubeletha kubantwana.
Phakathi kweziphumo zezi zifundo:
- Iindlela zokuba ngumzali ezigunyazayo zikhokelela kubantwana abazithobelayo kwaye banolwazi, kodwa banomgangatho ophantsi kwintlalo, ubuchule boluntu kunye nokuzithemba .
- Iindlela zokuba ngumzali ezigunyazayo zikhokelela kubantwana abonwabileyo, abanako ukuphumelela, nabaphumelelayo.
- Ukuvunywa komzali ngokukhawuleza kubangela ukuba abantwana banomgangatho ophantsi konwabe kunye nokuzilawula. Aba bantwana banako ukufumana iingxaki kunye negunya kwaye bavame ukwenza kakubi esikolweni.
- Izitayela zokubeletha ezingakhange zikhutshwe ziphantsi kwiindawo zonke zobomi. Aba bantwana bavame ukungabikho ukuzithiba, banokuzithemba, kwaye banako ukuzithoba kunontanga yabo.
Kutheni ukuba ukugunyazwa kwabazali kunika izinto ezintle ngaphezu kwezinye izitayela?
Ngenxa yokuba abazali abagunyazayo banokubonwa njengento enengqiqo, engenabulungisa, kunye neyobulungisa ukuze abantwana babo banakho ukuthobela izicelo aba bazali abazenzayo. Kwakhona, ngenxa yokuba aba bazali banikezela imithetho kwakunye neenkcazo zalo mithetho, abantwana banakho amathuba okuba baphumelele ezi zifundo.
Kunokuba nje ulandele imigaqo ngenxa yokuba bayesaba isigwebo (njengokuba banokuba nabazali abagunyazayo), abantwana bazali abagunyazayo bayakwazi ukubona ukuba kutheni imithetho, baqonde ukuba bayamkeleka kwaye bayamkeleka, kwaye balwela ukulandela le migaqo ukuze bahlangabezane uqobo lwalo lwento elungileyo nolungalunganga.
Ewe, iindlela zokubeletha zabazali ngabanye zidibanisa ukudala ukudibanisa okuyingqamaniso kwintsapho nganye. Ngokomzekelo, umama angabonisa isimboli sokugunyaza xa uyise ethanda indlela yokuvumela.
Oku ngamanye amaxesha kunokukhokelela kwimpawu ezixubekileyo okanye kwimeko apho umntwana efuna ukuvunyelwa kumzali ovumelekileyo ukuba athole oko bafuna. Ukuze kudibaniswe indlela yokubambisana kwabazali, kubalulekile ukuba abazali bafunde ukusebenzisana njengoko badibanisa izinto ezahlukahlukeneyo zohlobo lwabo olulodwa lomzali.
Imida kunye neeCriticisms zoBucala boPhando loPhando
Kukho, nangona kunjalo, ulwaphulo olubalulekileyo lokuphanda isitayela somzali okumele luphawulwe. Uqhagamshelwano phakathi kweendlela zokuba ngumzali kunye nokuziphatha kusekelwe ekuphandeni ngokuhambelanayo , oku luncedo ekufumaneni ubudlelwane phakathi kwezinto ezihlukeneyo kodwa akakwazi ukuseka ubudlelwane obubangela -kunye nentsingiselo. Nangona kukho ubungqina bokuba isitayela esithile somzali sidibene nomgaqo othile wokuziphatha, ezinye iinguqu ezibalulekileyo ezifana nomoya wengane nazo zinokudlala indima enkulu.
Kukho ubungqina bokuba ukuziphatha komntwana kunokuchaphazela izitayela zabazali. Olunye uphando lufumanise ukuba abazali babantwana ababonakalisa ukuziphatha okunzima baqala ukubonisa ukulawulwa kwabazali abangaphantsi kwexesha. Ezi ziphumo zibonisa ukuba abantwana abanokungaziphathi kakuhle ngenxa yokuba abazali babo bevumile, kodwa, ngezinye iimeko, abazali abangabantwana abanzima okanye abanobugwenxa banokukwazi ukuyeka ukuzama ukulawula abantwana babo.
Abaphandi baye baphawula ukuba ukuhambelana phakathi kwezindlela zokubeletha kunye nokuziphatha ngamanye amaxesha kunzima kakhulu. Kwiimeko ezininzi, iziphumo zabantwana ezilindelekileyo aziyizixhobo; Abazali abanezakhono ezigunyazayo baya kuba nabantwana abangcolileyo okanye ababandakanyeka ekuziphatheni okubi, ngelixa abazali abaneendlela ezivumelayo baza kuba nabantwana abanokuzithemba nokuphumelela kwimfundo.
Ezi ndlela zine zobazali zingenakho nokuba ziphela. Iinkalo zenkcubeko nazo zidlala indima ebalulekileyo kwimilinganiselo yabazali kunye neziphumo zabantwana.
"Akukho ndlela" engcono kakhulu yokuba ngumzali, "kubhala umbhali uDouglas Bernstein encwadini yakhe ethi Essentials of Psychology . "Ngoko umzali ogunyazayo, odibeneyo neziphumo ezintle kwimindeni yaseYurophu yaseMerika, ayihambelani nokusebenza kwesikolo kangcono phakathi kwama-African American okanye aseAsia asebancinci."
Ngaphantsi
Ngoko ke kuthini ukuthathwa xa kuvela kwiindlela zokuba ngumzali?
Izindlela zabazali zidibaniswa neziphumo zabafundi ezahlukeneyo kwaye isitala esipheleleyo ngokuqhelekileyo sidibaniswa nokuziphatha okulungileyo njengento yokuzithemba nokuzimela. Nangona kunjalo, ezinye izinto ezibalulekileyo ziquka inkcubeko, imbono yabantwana yonyango lwabazali kunye neempembelelo zentlalo nazo zidlala indima ebalulekileyo ekuphatheni kwabantwana.
> Imithombo:
> I-Baumrind, D. Iinkqubo zokunyamekela kwabantwana ezichasene neendlela ezintathu zokuziphatha zasesikolweni. I-Genetic Psychology Monographs. 1967 ; 75: 43-88.
> Benson, JB, Marshall, MH. Uphuhliso loLuntu kunye nolwaMoya kwiNtsana kunye neNtsana yabantwana. I-Oxford: I-Press Press; 2009.
> Huh, D, Tristan, J, Wade, E & Stice, E Ngaba Ingxaki Yokuziphatha Yenza Umzali Obuthathaka ?: Ukufundiswa Kwamantombazana Asemantwaneni. Umbhalo woPhando loLutsha. 2006; 21 (2): 185-204.
> Macklem, GL. Isikhokelo soBasebenzi kwiMimiselo yoMzwelo kwiBantwana abakhulileyo esikolweni. ENew York: I-Springer; 2008.