Isitayela somzali esigxile kwibhalansi
Umzali ogunyazisiweyo uchazwa yimfuno ezifanelekileyo kunye nokuphendula okuphezulu. Nangona abazali abagunyazayo banokuba nethemba eliphezulu kubantwana babo, banika abantwana babo izibonelelo kunye nenkxaso abayidingayo ukuze baphumelele. Abazali abonakalisa le ndlela baphulaphula abantwana babo kwaye banike uthando nokufudumala ngaphezu kwemida kunye noqeqesho olufanelekileyo .
Ngokwesiko, isitayela esisemthethweni sokubeletha siye sachongwa njengeyona ndlela isebenzayo. Kucatshulwa ukuba abantwana abaphakanyiswe ngabazali abagunyazayo bavame ukuba namandla okuzilawula ngokuzimeleyo, ukuzithemba, kunye neemeko zokuzonwabisa. Nangona kunjalo, uphando olutshanje lubonisa ukuba abazali kufuneka babe nokuguquguquka ngokusekelwe kwiinjongo zabo kunye neempawu ezizodwa zomntwana ngamnye.
Imbali emfutshane yoBuzali boBugunyaziwe
Ngethuba lama-1960, isazi sengqondo sokuphuhliswa kwengqondo uDiana Baumrind sichaza iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zendlela zokuba ngumzali : ezintathu, ezigunyazisiweyo, nezigunyazo. Oku kwakusekelwe kuphando lwakhe ngabantwana abaneminyaka engama-1000 ubudala.
Ngamanye amaxesha isitayela sokuba ngumzali esibizwa ngokuba "ngentando yesininzi." Iquka indlela yokugcina abantwana abazali abanalo ukulindela okuphezulu kubantwana babo.
Iimpawu zohlobo loBanikazi boBugunyaziwe
Ngokutsho kweBaumrind, abazali abagunyazayo babelana ngeziganeko eziqhelekileyo, kuquka:
- Baphulaphula abantwana babo.
- Zikhuthaza ukuzimela.
- Babeka imida, iimiphumo, kunye nokulindela ekuziphatheni kwabantwana babo.
- Bavakalisa ukufudumala kunye nokuqinisekisa.
- Bavumela abantwana babo ukuba bathethe izimvo.
- Bakhuthaza abantwana babo ukuba baxoxe ngokukhetha.
- Benza umyalelo onobuchule nolungelelanayo.
Abantu abanezakhono zokubazali zabazali bafuna ukuba abantwana babo basebenzise ukuqiqa kwaye basebenze ngokuzimela, kodwa ukulindela kwabo kuphezulu. Xa abantwana bephula imithetho, baqeqeshwe ngendlela efanelekileyo kunye efanelekileyo.
Laba bazali banamathele ukuguquguquka. Ukuba kukho iimeko ezilulekayo, ziya kuvumela umntwana ukuba achaze oko kwenzekayo kwaye alungise ukuphendula kwabo ngokufanelekileyo. Banikezela ngokuqeqesha ngendlela efanelekileyo kodwa ngendlela efanelekileyo kwaye iqwalasela zonke iimpawu, kuquka ukuziphatha komntwana kunye nemeko.
Iimiphumo zoBugcisa boBani boBani
Kwixesha elidlulileyo, iingcali zentuthuko yabantwana ezithonywe ngumsebenzi kaBaumrind ngokuqhelekileyo zichonga isitayela sokuba ngumzali onesiqinisekiso njengendlela efanelekileyo yokubazali. Uphando luye lwabonisa ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukuba abantwana abakhuliswa ngabazali abagunyazayo banokukwazi ukukwazi ukwenza, banolonwabo kwaye baphumelele.
Ngokutsho kweBaumrind, abantwana babazali abagunyazayo:
- Yenza izinto ezinokuzonwabisa
- Unokulawulwa kakuhle kwemimiselo kunye nomgaqo
- Ukuphuhlisa izakhono zentlalo
- Ngaba bayazithemba ngokwamakhono abo okufunda izakhono ezintsha
Kutheni i-Authorization parent parent Works
Abazali abagunyazayo benza njengemodeli kwaye babonisa iimpawu ezifanayo abazilindele kubantwana babo. Ngenxa yoko, abantwana banokuthi bangene ngaphakathi kwezi mpawu baze bazibonise. Imithetho ehambelanayo kunye nokuqeqeshwa kuvumela abantwana ukuba bazi ukuba balindelwe ntoni.
Abazali bavame ukubonisa ukuqonda nokuqonda kakuhle. Abantwana babo bafunda ukulawula iimvakalelo zabo kwaye bafunde ukuqonda abanye ngokunjalo.
Abazali abagunyazayo bavumela abantwana ukuba benze ngokuzimela. Oku kufundisa abantwana ukuba banako ukwenza izinto ngokwabo, bancedisa ukuzithemba nokuzithemba.
Ugunyazisiweyo kunye noMzali woBugunyaziwe
Ezi zimbane ziyakucatshulwa nesitayela sobuzali . Le ndlela ibonakaliswa ngokulindeleke kakhulu kunomtsalane kunye nokukhokelwa.
Ngokomzekelo, cingca imeko apho abafana abancinci beba i-candy kwivenkile. Enye inkwenkwe inebazali abagunyazayo, ngoko xa ekugqibeleni efika ekhaya, ufumana isijeziso esilungileyo esichaphazelekayo. Unikwe iiveki ezimbini kwaye kufuneka abuyisele i-candy kwaye axolise kumnini wesitolo. Abazali bakhe bathetha naye malunga nokuba kutheni kungalunganga, kodwa bayamxhasa baze bamkhuthaze ukuba angazibandakanyi ngokuziphatha okunjalo kwakhona.
Enye inkwenkwe inebazali bobuqili, ngoko ke xa efika ekhaya, uhlaselwa ngabazali bobabini. Uyise uyamtyhalela aze amyalele ukuba achithe ubusuku bonke egumbini lakhe ngaphandle kokutya. Abazali bomntwana banikela ngenkxaso encinane okanye uthando kwaye akukho mfundiso okanye isikhokelo malunga nokuba kutheni ukuphosakela.
ILizwi
Abanye abazali ngokusemthethweni banamandla ngaphezu kobugunyazi okanye avumelekile . Nangona kunjalo, oku akuthethi ukuba awukwazi ukufumana isitala esinegunya, nangona ukuba akusiyo i-default yakho. Kusenokuthetha ukuba kuya kufuneka uhlale ukhumbule ngezenzo zakho ngelixa usebenza ukuphuhlisa le mikhwa.
Oku kunokukunceda ukujonga le ndlela yokuzali njengomlinganiselo phakathi kokuqeqeshwa, ukulawula imvakalelo, nokuvumela ukuzimela. Zama ukungabi nantloni okanye ukunyaniseka. Unokuqala ngokuvumela umntwana wakho enze izigqibo ezininzi, kodwa ube neengxoxo rhoqo ngezi zigqibo. Ngexesha, ingqwalasela, kunye nokuguquguquka kwiimfuno zomntwana wakho, le ndlela yokuzala iya kuba yendalo.
> Imithombo:
> I-Baumrind D. Iinkqubo Zokunakekelwa Kwabantwana Abantwana Abathintekayo Amaphetheni Amathathu Okuziphatha Kwezikolo . I-Genetic Psychology Monographs . 1967: 75 (1): 43-88.
> Smetana JG. Uphando Lwangoku malunga neendlela zokuzali zabazali, ubukhulu, kunye neenkolelo. I-Opinion yangoku kwi-Psychology . NgoJuni 2017; 15: 19-25. i-doi: 10.1016 / j.copsyc.2017.02.012.