Ingquzulwano kwintsebenziswano ayinakukuphepha. Ngokwalo, impikiswano ayilona ingxaki; ukuba kunjalo, nangona kunjalo, kunokubangela ukuba abantu bahlangane okanye bahlukane. Izakhono ezinxibelelwano ezingalunganga, ukungavumelani, nokungaqondani kunokuba ngumthombo womsindo kunye nomgama okanye intsimbi yokubambisana kunye nolwalamano olomeleleyo kunye nekamva elivuyisa. Ngexesha elilandelayo xa ubhekana neengxabano, gcina ezi ngcebiso kwizakhono zonxibelelwano ezisemgangathweni engqondweni kwaye unokwenza umphumo ontle.
Nantsi indlela.
Hlala ugxile
Ngamanye amaxesha uzama ukuvelisa iimpikiswano ezinokubonakala ezinxulumene nelo xesha zijongene nezikhoyo. Kuziva kulungile ukulungisa yonke into ekukukhathazayo kanye kunye nokuthetha konke xa usuqalene nokuphikisana omnye. Ngelishwa, oku kudla ukuphazamisa umbandela kwaye kwenza ukuba ukuqonda okufanayo kunye nesisombululo kwimeko ekhoyo kungekhona, kwaye kwenza ukuba ingxoxo ingaphezulu ize idideke. Zama ukuvelisa ubuhlungu obudlulileyo okanye ezinye izihloko. Hlalani nigxile kwizinto ezikhoyo, iimvakalelo zenu, ukuqonda kunye nokufumana isisombululo.
Ukusebenzisa ukucamngca ngengqiqo kunokukunceda ukuba ufunde ngakumbi kwiindawo zonke zobomi bakho.
Phu laphula
Abantu badla ukuba bacinga ukuba bakuphulaphule, kodwa bacinga ngokwenene malunga nokuya kuthi bathethe ntoni xa omnye umntu eyeka ukuthetha. (Zama uqaphele ukuba wenza njalo ngexesha elizayo kwingxoxo.) Ukunxibelelana okunempumelelo kuhamba ezimbini.
Nangona kunokuba kunzima, zama ukuphulaphula ngokuqinisekileyo oko uthethwa ngumlingane wakho. Musa ukuphazamisa. Musa ukuzikhusela. Zuza nje uze uzikhumbule emva koko bathethayo ngoko bayazi ukuba uvile. Emva koko uya kubaqonda kakuhle kwaye baya kuba bafuna ukuphulaphula.
Ezi zixhobo zingakunceda ukuba ube ngumphulaphuli obalaseleyo.
Zama Ukubona Indawo Yabo Yokujonga
Ngquzulwano, ininzi kuthi sifuna ukuziva sizive kwaye siyayiqonda. Sithetha kakhulu malunga nembono yethu yokufumana omnye umntu ukuba abone izinto ngendlela yethu. Oku kuqondakalayo, kodwa ukugxininisa kakhulu umnqweno wethu ukuqondwa ngaphezu kwayo yonke into ingabuya. Okumangalisa ukuba, ukuba sonke senza njalo ixesha, akukho nto igxininisa kwimbono yomnye umntu, kwaye akukho mntu uyayiqonda. Zama ukubona ngokwenene, kwaye ke unokukwazi ukuchazela ngokwakho. (Ukuba awuyifumananga, cela imibuzo emininzi de uze uyenze.) Abanye baya kuba bazimisele ukuphulaphula ukuba bazive beva.
Ezi mpazamo zengqondo zenza kube nzima ukubona ezinye iimbono zokujonga. Ngaba yeyiphi na eyaziwayo?
Phendula kwiCriticism ngeNceba
Xa umntu eza kuwe ngokugxekwa, kulula ukuziva ukuba aphosakele kwaye azikhusele. Nangona ukugxekwa kunzima ukuva kwaye kaninzi kugxininisa okanye kulubala ngemvakalelo yomnye umntu, kubalulekile ukuphulaphula intlungu yomntu kwaye uphendule ngovelwano ngemvakalelo yabo. Kwakhona, khangela izinto eziyinyaniso kwizinto abazithethayo; ezinokuba nolwazi oluxabisekileyo kuwe.
Funda ngakumbi ngokuhlakulela ukuvelana nokuxolelwa.
Eyakho Unayo Yakho
Qaphela ukuba uxanduva lomntu luyimandla, kungekhona ubuthathaka. Uqhagamshelwano olunempumelelo luquka ukuvuma xa uphosakele. Ukuba nonke niyabelana ngomsebenzi othile kwimpikiswano (edla ngokuba yimeko), khangela kwaye wamukele oko kukukho. Ikwahlula imeko, imisela umzekelo omhle, kwaye ibonisa ukukhula. Kwakhona iphinde ivuselele omnye umntu ukuba aphendule ngendlela efanelekileyo, ekukhokelela kokubili ukuqonda kunye kunye nesisombululo.
Sebenzisa "I" Imiyalezo
Kunokuba uthethe izinto ezinje, "Udibanise apha apha," qalisa iingxelo nge "I", uze uzienzele ngokwakho nangemvakalelo yakho, njengokuthi, "Ndiziva ndikhungathekile xa oku kwenzeka. Unceda omnye umntu ukuba aqonde imbono yakho yombono kunokuba uzive uhlaselwe.
Funda kabanzi malunga "nemiyalezo" kunye nezinye iindlela zokuxhumana ezixhasayo.
Khangela ukudibanisa
Esikhundleni sokuzama 'ukunqoba' imbambano, khangela izisombululo ezihlangabezana neemfuno zabantu bonke. Ngaphandle kokunciphisa okanye isisombululo esinika okubini into oyifunayo kakhulu, oku kugxininisa ngakumbi kunokuba umntu omnye athole oko akufunayo ngenye iindleko. Ukunxibelelana okunempilo kubandakanya ukufumana isigqibo sokuba amacala omabini angonwabile .
Thatha ixesha lokuphuma
Ngamanye amaxesha i-tempers iyancipha kwaye kunzima kakhulu ukuqhuba ingxoxo ngaphandle kokuba ingxabano okanye ukulwa. Ukuba uziva wena okanye iqabane lakho uqala ukuthukuthela kakhulu ukuba ube nokwakha, okanye ubonise iipatheni zokunxibelelana eziwonakalisayo, kulungile ukuthabatha ingxoxo uze upholile. Ngamanye amaxesha ukunxibelelana okulungileyo kuthetha ukuba waziphi ixesha lokuthatha ikhefu.
Sukuncama
Ngethuba uthabatha ingxoxo kwiingxoxo ngamanye amaxesha ingcinga efanelekileyo, soloko ubuyela kuyo. Ukuba nonke nisondela kuloo mimoya ngesimo esakhayo, inhlonipho, kunye nokuzimisela ukubona enye imbono yombono okanye ubuncinane ukufumana isisombululo, unokwenza inkqubela phambili ekujoliswe kuyo isisombululo kwimpikiswano. Ngaphandle kokuba ixesha lokuyeka ulwalamano, musa ukuyeka ukuthetha.
Buza Usizo Ukuba Unayo
Ukuba omnye okanye bobabini unenkathazo yokuhlala uhloniphekile ngexesha lombambano okanye ukuba uzame ukuxazulula ingxabano kunye nomlingani wakho kwaye imeko ingabonakali iyaphucula, unokufumana inxaxheba kwiiseshoni ezimbalwa kunye neengcali. Ukucebisa abantu okanye usapho unyango lunokukunceda ngoncedo kunye nokufundisa izakhono ukuxazulula ingxabano ezayo. Ukuba iqabane lakho lingafuni ukuya, unokuhlala ufumana inzuzo ngokuhamba yedwa.
Iingcebiso:
- Khumbula ukuba injongo yezonxibelelwano ezifanelekileyo kufuneka kube nokuqonda kunye nokufumana isisombululo esithokozisa amaqela omabini, kungabi 'ukuphumelela' ingxabano okanye 'ukulungela'.
- Oku akusebenzi kuzo zonke iimeko, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha (ukuba unenkqubela elwalamano) kuthatha ukubamba izandla okanye ukuhlala uxhumeke ngokomzimba njengoko uthethayo. Oku kunokukukhumbuza ukuba unokhathalelana kunye kwaye ngokubanzi uxhasana.
- Gcina ukhumbule ukuba kubalulekile ukuhlala uhlonipha omnye umntu, nokuba awuyithandi izenzo zabo.
- Nalu uluhlu lweendlela eziqhelekileyo ezingasimpilo zokusingatha iingxabano . Ngaba wenza ezinye zazo? Ukuba kunjalo, izakhono zakho zokunxibelelana ezimbi ziyabangela uxinzelelo olongezelelweyo ebomini bakho.
- Ucinga ukuba unalo oluphantsi kolawulo? Thatha umbuzo wethu wokuQinisekisa uze ufumane!