Umzali ovumelekileyo uluhlobo lwesimboli somzali olubonakaliswe yimfuno eziphantsi kunye nokuphendula okuphezulu. Abazali abaneemvume bavame ukuba banothando, kodwa banika izikhokelo kunye nemithetho embalwa. Abazali abazilindele ukuziphatha okuvuthiweyo kubantwana babo kwaye kaninzi kubonakala befana nomhlobo kunomzali.
Laba bazali bavame ukuba yinto echasene ne-"helikopter parents". Esikhundleni sokunyamezela ngaphezu kwazo zonke iintshukumo zabantwana, abazali abavumelekile baxakeka kwaye banqabile ukuba benze okanye baphoqele nayiphi na imigaqo yemigaqo okanye isakhiwo.
Isiqubulo sabo ngokuqhelekileyo kukuba "abantwana baya kuba bantwana." Ngoxa behlala befudumele kwaye benothando, benza umzamo omncinci okanye akukho nanye wokulawula okanye ukuqeqesha abantwana babo.
Ngenxa yokuba kukho imithetho embalwa, ukulindela kunye neemfuno, abantwana abakhuliswa ngabazali abavumelekile bavame ukulwa nomthetho wokuzilawula nokuzithiba.
Uphando loPhando loPhuhliso lwabazali
Ngokusekelwe kuphando lwakhe ngabantwana abaneminyaka engama-1000 ubudala, isazi sengqondo sokuphuhliswa kwengqondo uDiana Baumrind sichaze iindlela ezintathu zokubala zabazali . Kwiminyaka kamva, abaphandi baya kuqhubeka bephanda iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuba bazali baze badibanise isitayela sesine. Umzali ovumelekileyo ngenye yezindlela zokuqala zabazali ezichazwe nguBaumrind.
Ngamanye amaxesha ubizwa ngokuba ngumzali ovumelekileyo. Abazali ababonisa le ndlela bawenza amancinci amancinci kubantwana babo. Ngenxa yokuba laba bazali banamathemba aphantsi okuzithiba kunye nokukhula, uqeqesho aluyonto.
Ngokutsho kweBaumrind, abazali abavumelekile "banokuphendula ngakumbi kunokuba bafuna.
Iimpawu zohlobo lokuvumela abazali
Abazali abavumelekileyo:
- Unemiyalelo embalwa okanye imigangatho yokuziphatha
- Xa kukho imigaqo, kaninzi abahambelani kakhulu
- Ngokuqhelekileyo bayakhuthaza kwaye bathanda abantwana babo
- Ngokuqhelekileyo kubonakala ngathi ungumhlobo, kunokuba umzali
- Ngamana ungasebenzisa ukufumbathisa njengamathoyizi, izipho kunye nokutya njengendlela yokufumana umntwana ukuba aziphathe
- Ukubonelela ngendlela encinane kwindlela yeshedyuli okanye isakhiwo
- Ukugxininisa inkululeko yabo yabantwana kunokuba baxanduva
- Buza imibono yabantwana kwizigqibo ezinkulu
- Ukunyanzelisa nayiphi na imiphumo yomphumo
Iimiphumo zoBalo abaVumelekileyo
Abaphandi baye bafumanisa ukuba indlela ekhululekile yokukhulisa abazali iboniswe ngabazali abavumelekile ingakhokelela kwiziphumo ezintle. Abantwana abakhuliswa ngabazali abavumelekile bavame ukungabi nokuzithiba, abanezakhono zentlalo engalunganga, banokuzibandakanyeka kwaye bafuneke, kwaye banokuziva bengakhuselekanga ngenxa yokungabikho kwemida kunye nezikhokelo.
Uphando uphakamise ukuba abantwana abaphakanyiswe ngabazali abavumelekileyo:
- Bonisa ukuphumelela okuphantsi kwiindawo ezininzi. Ngenxa yokuba abazali babo bananto engalindelekanga kubo, aba bantwana abananto yokuzama. Izifundo ziye zadibanisa umzali ovumelekileyo ukunciphisa impumelelo yezifundo.
- Yenza izigqibo ezimbi. Ekubeni abazali babo bangawubeki okanye bawuncede naluphi na uhlobo lwemithetho okanye izikhokelo, aba bantwana bazama ukufumana ingxaki yokuxazulula iingxaki kunye nezakhono zokwenza izigqibo .
- Bonisa ubundlobongela kunye nokuqonda okungaphantsi kwengqondo . Ngenxa yokuba abafundi ukuhlangabezana nemvakalelo yabo, ngokukodwa kwiimeko apho abafumani nto abayifunayo, abantwana abanamzali avumelekileyo bangabambana xa bejamelene nezimo ezinzima okanye ezinzima.
- Ngamana unokuthandana nokugqithisa nokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi. Uphando lubonisa ukuba abantwana abakhuliswa ngabazali abavumelekile banokuthi bangene ngokungaziphathi kakuhle kunye nokusetyenziswa kotywala okanye ukusebenzisa izidakamizwa.
- Ayikwazi ukulawula ixesha okanye imikhwa. Ngenxa yokungabikho kwesakhiwo kunye nemithetho ekhaya, la bantwana abafundanga imida. Oku kunokukhokelela ekubukeni kakhulu kumabonwakude, ukudlala imidlalo emininzi yekhompyutha, nokutya kakhulu. Aba bantwana abazange bafunde ukunciphisa ixesha labo lesikrini okanye iindlela zokutya, ezingakhokelela kwimikhwa engcolileyo kunye nokukhuluphala.
Kwisifundo esinye, umzali ovumelekileyo wayexhunyiwe kwizinto ezingaphantsi kokusetyenziswa kotywala; Abazali abanamaphepha avumelekile ukuba bathathwe ngokunyanisekileyo. Abaphandi bacetyisa ukuba umzali ovumelekileyo unxulumene nezinye iindlela zokuziphatha ezinobungozi ezifana nokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi kunye nezinye iindlela zokungaziphathi kakuhle.
Ngenxa yokuba umzali ovumelekileyo uquka ukungafuneki kwemfuno kunye nokulindela, abantwana abakhuliswa ngabazali ngale ndlela bavame ukukhula bengenamandla okuzimela. Basenokungabi nabulawuli esikolweni ngenxa yokungahambi kwemida ekhaya, kwaye banokuthi bangaphantsi kwezemfundo kunokuba baninzi babo ontanga.
Ekubeni laba bazali banemfuno embalwa yokuziphatha okuvuthiweyo, abantwana banokungabikho kwezakhono kwiindawo zentlalo. Nangona bekuntle ekunxibelelaneni ngokubambisana, abanakho ezinye izakhono ezibalulekileyo ezifana nokwabelana.
Yintoni Ongayenza Ngomzali Ovumelekileyo?
Ukuba uthetha ukuba ngumputiver okanye umzabalazo wokunyanzelisa imigaqo, cinga ukukhangela iindlela onokuzihlakulela ngazo ezinye iindlela zokuziphatha zabazali. Oku kunzima ngamanye amaxesha, kuba ngokuqhelekileyo kubhekisela ekubeni kuba nzima, ukunyanzelisa imithetho, nokukwazi ukujamelana nomntwana wakho.
Ezinye izicwangciso ongacinga ngazo:
- Ukuphuhlisa uluhlu lwemiqathango esemthethweni yasekhaya. Ukuze abantwana bakho bazi ukuba bafanele baziphathe njani, kufuneka baqonde ngokucacileyo oko okulindelweyo.
- Qiniseka ukuba abantwana bakho baqonda isigwebo sokuphula imithetho. Izikhokelo ayinalutho ngaphandle kokuba kukho uhlobo oluthile lokungalandeli. Ukuphuma kwexesha kunye nokulahlekelwa ngamalungelo yimiphumo enengqiqo yokuphula imithetho yasekhaya.
- Landela. Oku kungaba ngumzabalazo omkhulu kubazali abavame ukuvunyelwa, kodwa kubalulekile. Zama ukuqina kwaye uhambelane, kodwa uthanda. Nceda abantwana bakho baqonde ukuba kutheni imigaqo ebalulekileyo ibonelela ngempendulo eyaneleyo kunye nenkcazelo, kodwa uqinisekise ukuba iziphumo zikhoyo.
- Ukuvuza umgangatho omhle. Zama ukubamba abantwana bakho kakuhle kwaye uvumele amalungelo athile xa bebonisa ezi zinto.
ILizwi
Umzali ovumelekileyo unokukhokelela kwiinkalo ezininzi, ngoko kuya kuhlawulela ukuba uzame ukusebenzisa indlela enamandla xa uyayiqonda le miqondiso yemvume ekuzalweni kwakho. Ukuba unomdla wokuba umzali ovumelekileyo, cinga ngeendlela oza kunceda ngazo abantwana bakho ukuba baqonde ukulindela kwakho kunye nezikhokelo kwaye uhambisane nokuthotyelwa kwale mithetho. Ngokubonelela abantwana bakho ngokulinganisela kwesakhiwo kunye nenkxaso, unokuqinisekisa ukuba bakhula ngezakhono abazifunayo ukuze baphumelele ebomini.
> Imithombo:
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