Ukutshaya ngokufihlakeleyo kukuziphatha okudala intlungu kunye nobumntu obushushu. Kusenza sizive sinetyala, sinobuthathaka kwaye sinamathela.
Ibali likaKaren liza kuhlawulela nabani na obenzima ukufihla ukutshaya.
Ndiyabonga ngokuxelela ibali lakho uKay, kwaye ndivuyisana ngokuthatha ubomi bakho.
Igama lam nguKaren, kodwa abahlobo bam bandibiza uKay. Ndaqala ukutshaya xa ndandineminyaka eyi-14.
Ndiyi-31.
Ndiyaqonda ngoku ukuba izizathu zam ukutshaya kuloo minyaka ziphosakele ngezizathu zokuba ndisayinxiba iminyaka engama-16 kamva. Kufana nokuba ubomi bam bonke benziwa ngamabomu ngeekreta. Mhlawumbi kwakukho.
Ndiyekile ukutshaya ngoJuni 12. Namhlanje ngumsi wam omhla wesihlanu.
Ndivakalelwa ngathi ndivuka ngenxa yentlobo. Ndagqiba ekubeni ndizenzele iqela lakho lokuyeka ukutshaya ukuyeka ukutshaya, ndisenjenjalo ukuba ndizithethi ngokunyaniseka nawe.
Ndihlala ndifihla emva kokutshaya, ngandlela-nye.
Andifuni ukufihla ixesha elide. Ndifuna ukuthatha amandla omlutha wam ngokukuxelela inyaniso ngam. Ukuba uyandithanda emva kokufunda oku, kuyamangalisa. Ukuba awunjalo, andikusoli! Kodwa ndifuna ukunyaniseka malunga ne- monster endiyiyo .
Ndenze izinto ezininzi ezibolileyo ngexesha lam lamano kunye ne-nicotine, izinto ezihlazo, izinto andinakuzibuyisela.
Ndiza ngokukhawuleza ukuqonda onke amanga endandizitshilo wona, kwaye ndikholelwa, ukuze ndikwazi ukutshaya. Kukho izinto ezininzi eziza kugxininisa malunga nomntu wam kunye nokutshaya.
Ininzi ephazamisayo kukuba kubonakala ngathi "Umtshato kunye neCapri 120" ingaba yicatshulwa ebomini bam iminyaka emi-5 edluleyo.
Umyeni wam ungummemezeli kwaye xa sasidibana, ndandiyeke umnyaka omnye emva kokutshaya iminyaka. Wayekholelwa ukuba ndingumntu ongathethiyo xa sihlangene. Ndenze njalo.
Andikwazi ukukhumbula nokuba kutheni ndiqale ukutshaya. Kodwa ingongoma, ndiyenzile.
Kwaye ndenza nge-gusto.
Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane bethu, umyeni wam wanyamezela i-cigarettes yam i-1-2 ngemini, ngelixa ndandinyamezela umkhwa wakhe wokusela. Kwakukho ikhowudi engabonakaliyo phakathi kwethu; Andiyathethi ngomkhwa wakho kwaye awukhulumi ngam. Xa ndiqala ukutshaya kwakhona , ndagqiba ekubeni ndiyayilawula kwaye ndandiyotsha xa ndisela utywala . Ekubeni ndandidla, ndasiyilungiselelo eligqibeleleyo.
Ewe, hayi kanye.
Ndabona ukuba, ngokukhawuleza, njengoko ixesha liqhubeka, ndaphalaza iziphuzo ezininzi nangaphezulu ekhaya - isiphuzo esisinyanisekileyo sam sokuthi ndiza kulala ngalo lonke ubusuku kunye nesinye isiselo esinamandla. Njengoko ixesha lidlulile, ndandisoloko ndifumana indoda yam ikhethiweyo kwaye ndizinike imvume yokutshaya phantse ipakethe yonke kwiiyure ezingama-2 ithathe umyeni wam ukuba adlule.
Ukuba oko akusiyo umlutha we-nicotine , andiyazi into.
Amandla eSkimeskrini
Andizange ndiyibone indlela endandiyichaza ngayo de iiveki ezimbalwa zokugqibela. Ndandingaboni kakuhle ukusetyenziswa kwam nokucwangcisa.
Ukuba undixelele oko ndandenzayo, ndandicinga ukuba uyadoda! Ndihlala ndihlala "ngumntu omhle", uhlobo lomntu onokumthemba, umhlobo. Kwaye ke oko ndandicinga ukuba ndinguye.
Kodwa njengoko umsi ucocekile engqondweni yam, undibetha njengetani lezitena. Oku kwaba yityhilelo yindoda endiyiyo, uhlobo lomfazi nonina. Ngokuqinisekileyo ukuzingca nokuzinikele ekumlonyeni kwam.
Ndazidelela ngenxa yeminyaka emininzi kodwa ndingazange ndihlale ndihlala engqondweni yam ixesha elide ... ngenye indlela, bekufuneka ndiyenze into malunga nayo.
I-Nicotine ithathe ukulawula, ibinzana ngeBhit
Umlutha wam wanda kakhulu kwaye waba nzima nakakhulu ukulawula.
Kwiminyaka embalwa edluleyo, ndichitha onke amandla endiyilungiselele ukutshaya kumyeni wam. Ndacinga, kuba ndiyamthanda kakhulu andifanele ndimthobe kuye kwaye ngoko, ukufihla kwakuyimfuneko-ngenxa yothando, eqinisweni.
Ngoku ndiyazi ukuba i-addict-self is selfish and is motivated by cigarettes kuphela. Konke malunga nokufumana indlela yokutya umlutha. Ndacinga ukuba ukutshaya kwinqanaba lam kwakuyincama endiyenzayo (jonga indlela endiyithande ngayo? Ha ha), kodwa ngoku ndiyibona oko kwakuyiyona nto - indlela yokumthintela ukuba abe nembono ngayo.
Xa ukutshaya ukutshitshiswa kweentengiso kufike kwiTV, ndakuba ngumntu othetha kakhulu egumbini, ndizama ngamandla ukukhusela umntu ukuba aveze indlela ukubhema kakubi ngayo . Ndithembele kakhulu ukuba unyana wam akayi kukhwaza ulwazi lwakhe lokutshaya. Andizange ndibe nonyanisekile kwaye ndivumelane nezoshishino, kwaye ke ndibe ngumsi womsi. Kwakungcono ukuba ungavumeli ukuba isihloko sifike nonke.
Umthwalo onzima wokuSayeza eMfihlakeleyo
Umyeni wam kunye nam omibini sisebenza ekhaya, ngoko sinobunye usuku lonke. Ndiya kuvuka ngamabomu phambi kwakhe kusasa ndize ndilale emva kokuhlwa ukuze ndibe ngumsi. Ndandizibhokoxa xa evuka ekuseni ngaphambi kokuba ndidibe i-cigaret and shower ngaphambi kokuba avuke.
Ndiza kugxuma ngaphandle kwelokushisa kunye nemvula eneemvula, ixesha elingaphezulu kunokuba ndikwazi ukubala, ukuze ndifumane umlutha wam. Ndineentloko zentloko kangangokuba ndingahlala ekhaya ngokuphuma kwimiba engathintela ukukwazi ukutshaya ubuncinane kwiiyure nganye. Ndineziphakamiso zokuhamba ngeepo-poohed ngenxa yokuba ndiyazi ukuba siya kuba kunye kakhulu ukuba ndibheme ngempumelelo kwaye ndiyifihle.
Ndihlala ndigijimela kwisitoreli kubo bonke abantu ngenxa yeso sizathu, ukuze sidibanise kwisikhululo segesi size sithenge i-cigarettes, kwaye sitshise ngoxolo imizuzu embalwa. Ndiye ndawaphepha abahlobo abakhulu iminyaka kunye neminyaka, kuba andizange ndifune ukuba umkhwa wokutshaya ufumaneke.
Ndandiziva ndikhululekile xa umyeni wam kunye nendodana beya kuphuma ngaphandle kwam (ngokunyanzela), ngoko ke nditshisa "ngoxolo". Babecinga ukuba ndandifuna ixesha elilodwa, kodwa into endiyifuna ngokwenene yayikuba yedwa kunye ne-cigarette yam. Kodwa emva kokuba i-cigarette yam ikhuni, ndifuna ukuba nawo kwakhona. Kwaye babengekho. Ewe, ke ubuncinci ndiyotshaya enye ... ke enye enye ... ke enye enye ...
"Uza kufika nini na ekhaya? Ngemizuzu eyi-15?" ... Ndiya kubhema ezinye ezintathu ngaphambi kokuba zifike ekhaya ...
Ukutshaya kwam kudala isithuba esikhulu umyeni wam engakwaziyo. Uxelela abantu esingazibambi. Ndingaba kuhle kakhulu ukufihla oku okanye akafuni ngokwenene ukwazi, kuba kufuneka kubonakale, akunjalo? Kwiintsuku ezintlanu ezedlulileyo andizange ndicinge njalo. Namhlanje andiqinisekanga.
Into engayazi kukuba ndifihla kuye. Akangazi ukuba ndijonge ngeefestile zendlu yam ukuze ndibone apho engaphambi kokuba angene khona. Ukuba ndandiyibona ngefestile, ndingayisebenzisa enye ingeniso yokungena kuba andifuni ukuba afike kum ukuvumba ugwayi.
Ngoko, ngaphambi kokuba ndihambe endlwini, ndiya kwintsimi (ukuba andingekafiki apho) kwaye khetha i-rosemary, i-basil, okanye nayiphina imifuno enengqondo. Ndiza kubahlamba eminwe yam, ndihlafune enye. Emva koko, xa unxweme lucacile, ndingena endlwini kwaye ndenze umgca wendawo yokuhlambela ngeseshoni esithintekayo sokuxubha izinyo, umlomo kunye nokukhangela ngesandla. Ndiya kusebenzisa i-lotion yokugqibela kwaye nditshintshe inani elincinci kwizinwele zam. Ngaloo ndlela ke ndingayiziva ndikhuselekile. Ekugqibeleni ndicinga ukuba ndihleli phantsi kwendoda yam okanye unyana wam ngexeshana kwaye ube nento efanelekileyo.
Kodwa ke, ngokuqinisekileyo, ndifuna enye icuba .
Isisigxina esingapheliyo soMlingo weNicotine
Kwaye ngoko isangqa sihamba ngeenxa zonke. Kwiminyaka eyi-16 edluleyo, ndihlala njengomntu andingaziqondi. Kwaye kwakusondela ngakumbi nakakhulu. Njalo xa nditshiza, ndiza kuziva ndiba netyala elikhulu.
Ndiqalile ukuqonda ukuba bendiphi na ubomi kunye nam kwintsapho yam - ngokuphazamiseka rhoqo, ukuchitha ixesha elide ixesha elijikelezayo, ukuqinisekisa ukuba zihleli, zigcine ukutya kwazo zonke izinto ngenxa yokuba zibandakanyeka kwenye into, Ndingahamba ngaphandle, ndicinga ukuba ngokuqinisekileyo abayi kundikhangela ukuba zonke iimfuno zabo zadibana na?
Mina nomyeni wam sinqume ngaphezu kwenyanga edlulileyo ukuba uya kushiya iiveki ezimbalwa ukuqala ukwakha ikhaya lethu iphupha ngaphandle kwimeko, kufuphi nabazali bakhe (abatshisa). Ndandicinga ukuba ndinenhlanhla. Uninzi lwengcinga zonke ezazijolise ekuhambeni ngonyaka ozayo zibandakanya indawo kunye nabazali bakhe ngaphandle ngaphandle kokubhema kunye. Ukuhamba kwakhe kwiiveki ezimbalwa apho ndiza kubhema ngaphandle kokuba "ingozi" yavakala kakhulu .. Ndodana yam ndiza kufika ngoJulayi ukuchitha lonke ihlobo apho kwaye emva koko sonke siya kubuya ekhaya.
Ekubeni ndibe nexesha elide, ndinezinto ezininzi zokucinga ngazo. Ndandicinga ngobuninzi obububomi bemihla ngemihla. Andisayi kuba nobomi, ngokwenene. Ndihlala kwintolongo yokuzimela. Ndiyintolongo kunye nomgcini wejele, kuba ndiyedwa yedwa ophethe isitshixo sokuba ndivumele.
Ngokukhawuleza, kwacaca kum kwaye ndenza isigqibo esikhulu ebomini bam. Ndagqiba kwelokuba ndiyeke ukutshaya .
Ndagqiba kwelokuba ndiyeke ukuhlanya kunye neengxabano. Ndagqiba kwelokuba ndijonge umlutha wam ebusweni kwaye ndithi HAYI! Andifuni ukuba unyana wethu atshise. Ndifuna ukuba sisondele kwintsapho yam. Andifuni ukunyamekela intsapho yam ngeendleko kunye nentlungu yesifo esithintekayo sokubhema (njengobawo).
Ndifuna ukukwazi ukuxhoma kunye nabahlobo bam abangafuni ukutshaya, ndifuna ukulindela ukuhamba nokuchitha ixesha nomyeni wam. Andifuni ukucwangcisa ixesha lam ngokubhema. Ndifuna ukukhululeka kokubamba ukutshaya kunam.
Ndakhetha usuku lokuyeka
Umhlobo uphakamise ukwenza usuku lokuyeka . Nda. Ndaqala ukukhathazeka ngenxa yokuphuma kwam usuku. Ndacela wonke umntu ukuba ndicinge ngeengcebiso. Ndabiza i-1-800-no-butts. Kwakukho emva kweeyure kwaye ndandiphulaphula yonke into efumanekayo yolwazi abanokukubonelela ngomatshini wabo wokuphendula. Ndafunda amanqaku malunga nokuyeka ukutshaya kwi-.com . Le ndawo yaphefumlela. Ekugqibeleni ndaziva ngathi ndiyakwenza. Ndagqiba kwelokuba ndiyenze. Ndacela unina ukuba ancede. Ndamcela udade wam uncedo. Ndamcela unyana wam uncedo.
Okwangoku, umyeni wam akayazi nto ngokutshaya kwam, kuncinci ukuba ndiyeke. Akazi ukuba ndikhala njani ukuba ndilale ngenxa yokuba ngumfazi onobuhlungu kangaka. Akazi ukuba ndifuna ukuba ndibuyisele umzuzu ngamnye ndiwutshaya, ukuchitha ixesha kunye naye kuba ndimkhumbula kakhulu. Akazi ukuba ndingumntu ozigubungelayo, onobuqili, okanye ukuba ndibuhlungu kangakanani ukuba andizange ndibone ukuba ndiyintoni okanye yintoni le mlutha eyenzayo kuthi.
Ndiya kuba nesibindi kwaye ndifikelele kwibali lam, kuba ndidiniwe. Ndidiniwe ukugcina imfihlelo, ndidiniwe ukugxotha abantu kude, ndidiniwe neentloni, kwaye ndidiniwe ukuxolisa. Ndidiniwe ukufihla kwaye ndibe ngumntu ongekho.
Lo ngumhla wesihlanu ukususela ekubeni ndiyeke . Andiyi kushiya namhlanje. Andiyi kuba ngumntu endithiyayo.
Ndinezimiselo zomlilo kunye nomonde ongapheliyo ukuhlala ukhululekile ukutshaya. Ndiya kuphakama ngaphezu komsi. Ndiyaqala ukuziva ndilungile kum.
Ukuhoxiswa kwe- nicotine yeentsuku ezi-5 zokugqibela sele kunzima kakhulu: ukukhathazeka, ukukhwaza, iintloko, kunye nokuziva kungenanto.
Kodwa kukho inyaniso.
Yiloo nto endikuyo kwaye yintoni eyenza ndiqhubeke.
Ndiyabonga ngokundivumela ukuba ndihlanganyele zam iimfihlakalo ezimbi kunye nawe. Unceda kakhulu kum ukuba ndibukeke ngokunyanisekileyo. Andizange ndenze oko ixesha elide. Ndiyabulela ngokuba khona kwaye ndivumela ukuba ndiphume.
~ Kay ~
Amanqaku amaninzi okuyeka ukusukela kwi-closet smokers:
Inkululeko Emva kweminyaka engama-40 - iNdaba YeNenejune
Ubomi obuBini beSibisi seNgcaciso - iNdaba55 yeNdaba
Ndihlala ndibhema ngasese - Iindaba zeMichelle