Nceda uqaphele ukuba i-smoke ishiyiwe, imveliso yeKerri ekhankanywe apha ngezantsi ayifumanwanga yi-FDA njenge-stop aid. Iingcamango zikaKherri malunga nendlela ezisebenzisayo zizithoba kwaye akufanele zithathwe njenge-endorsement yale mveliso yonyango yemfuyo nangayiphi na indlela.
Evela ku Kerri:
Igama lam ngu Kerri. Ndiye kwaye ndibe ngumlutha we- nicotine ngaphezu kwengxenye yobomi bam.
Ndandineminyaka engama-13 xa nditshiza i-cigarette yokuqala.
Abahlobo bam baphenduka; Ndiyilungile. Ngo-15, ndandisebenzisa imali yam sasemini ukuthenga i-cigarettes. Ngeli xesha ke, andinayo "i-alamu yomsi" yangaphakathi. Andizange ndibe khoboka, hayi, into enhle yayingekafiki.
Awunganditshilo into eya kwenzeka kum xa ndandimdala-okanye nokuba yintoni eyenzekayo kum ngexesha elifutshane lokutshaya. Ndandiselula, kwaye ndipholile. Iqabunga elidala lentshatsheli yentlalo - ndikhangele kwi-SMOKING SQUARE - indawo ekhethiweyo yokubhema. Ndipholile ngaphi?
Kwiminyaka elinesine elinesibini kamva, ukutyelela esikolweni sam esiphakamileyo kwandibonisa intsimi apho kwakukhona khona isikwere. Kubuhlungu ukuba ubomi ngoku uhlakulele kwindawo apho kwakuqala khona umkhwa wam.
Ngethuba lokuqala ndizama ukuyeka ukutshaya kwaba ngowokuqala ndaqonda ukuba ndiyingozi. Ndandineminyaka engama-19. Ndandihlala kwelinye ilizwe ukuba ndibe ngumntu onobomi. Ndaphetha ndifuna i- patch . Emva kweenyanga ezimbalwa, ndabuyela ekhaya nakumtshaya wam.
Ngexesha elizayo ndandineminyaka engama-21 kwaye ndikhulelwe. Kwandithatha iinyanga ezili-6 ukuba ndibeke phantsi, kwaye oko kwakungenxa yokuhlazeka. Andikwazi ukufihla ukukhulelwa kwam. Ndiyanyanyiswa gqitha ngokwam ndikhumbula le nto, kwaye ngokugqithiseleyo ndikuvuma.
Xa unyana wam uneminyaka engama-4 ubudala, ndabuyisela kwakhona. Othembekileyo. Ukuhluleka kwaphela iminyaka emi-5.
Nditshiza ngelixa ndibukele umkhulu wam ufa ngomhlaza wamaphaphu. Wayeyeka iminyaka engama-25 edlulileyo. Ndayitshisa ipakethi ngosuku ngaloo minyaka emi-5.
Ndikhulelwe ngokungalindelekanga, ndaza ndaxelwa ukuba ndiyeke ukutshaya . Ndaphulukana nosana kwiiveki ezingama-6, ndazithuthuzela ngee-cigarettes. Ndithathile inyanga ezayo, kwaye ndashiya loo mini, ndisebenzisa i- nicotine gum ukuze ndifumane kwixesha elinzima. Ndandinomnye okanye ezimbini kwiinyanga zokuqala de ndibe ndingabikho. Andikwazi ukukhumbula nokuba ndiyiphi na yokugqibela. Ukuyeka ukunyanzela kwiinyanga ezili-19. Andicingi ukuba ndifuna ukuchaza oko kwenzeka. Sizathu esifanayo sonke, nangona ibali elihlukile. Ukubeka nje, ndivumela i- junkie icinge ngempumelelo.
Ndakwazi ukuvumela enye iminyaka engama-2. Ndiya kuyeka ngoJuni 8, 2002-ikhefu lam. Loo mini wafika wahamba. "Ndinexesha elininzi kwizandla zam."
Ndathi ndiza kushiya ngomhla wokuzalwa wam wama-30. Sisiphi isipho esibalulekileyo, nesona sikhulu sokuzalwa. Loo mini wafika wahamba.
Emva koko ndathi ndiza kushiya umhla wokuzalwa wam-31 - kule minyaka edlule kaDisemba 13. Okwangoku, ndihlala ne-alamu yomsi. Andikwazi ukuya ebhankini kunye nabantwana kuba andinakuhamba ixesha elide ngaphandle kwesigarethi. Ndinexesha lokugijima ... ndingakwazi ukuzisa abantwana? Ndiya kubala inani lexesha ndibe ndihambe ukuphendula umbuzo.
Indlela yodwa endinokuphuma ngayo ixesha elide kwakukho omnye umntu omdala ukuze ndibe "ngena kwigumbi lokuhlambela" okanye "hamba kuqala imoto". Andikwazanga ukuya kwii-3 iiyure. Ndiza kulinda ukuba iphume kwividiyo ukuze ndiyimise okwesikhashana ukutshisa.
Ndazi ukuba ndiyinceku. Ndazi ukuba kwakunomsindo. Oko ndicinga ukuba ndiyazi ukuba ndilahleka kangakanani. Andizange ndibone ingqalelo ukuba ndide ndide. Ndandiphalazela ngaphaya kweengcamango.
Zilungiselele ukubonwa kwe-asinine - ndihlala eMaine; Ngomhla ka-Disemba 19, 2003. Imozulu ibetha kunye nemvula ebandayo. Ndingaphandle kwimizuzu emide, ndigubungele ngeempuphu, zibhotshi emadolweni, i-t-shirt, i-turtleneck, i-sweatshirt, i swe sweti, i-jacket ende, iglavu ngakwesinye icala, kunye ne-furry enkulu ibona i-jester hat.
Kwandithatha imizuzu eyi-15 nje ukulungiselela ukuphuma.
Ngoku ndilapha, ndihleli ngaphandle, ndikhusela umsi wam othandekayo kwizinto. Xa ndabuya emizuzwini emihlanu kamva, nditshisa emanzi, ndakhangela umyeni wam, owayekhangela kum ekufumaneni kwam. Ndazijonga mna ngamehlo akhe ndathi, "Nceda uye kumsiya-away.com. Ndiya kutshintsha ndifumane ikhadi lam lekhredithi.
Andizange ndibeke umhla wokuyeka - andiyikucingela. Ndandisithi, "Ndiyayeka xa izinto zingena." Kodwa ke, nangona ndiyanyanyeka, kuba ngumlutha we-nicotine, ndakhetha indlela ehamba phambili yokuthunyelwa, endicinga ukuba "ugogo uya kuhamba emnyango wakho."
Ndafumana iphakheji ngoJanuwari 4. Ngomhla we-5, ndabiza ugqirha ukuba aqinisekise ukuba ukhuselekile (akuyiyo i-FDA ivunyiwe). Ngomhla we-6, ndathatha umthamo womhla wokuqala kwaye nditshona. Ndandingathembeki ukuba oku kuya kusebenza. Imiyalelo ithi ayiyi kutshaya kwaye ndenze. Ndandiqiniseke ukuba ndiza kuhlawula imali yesiqinisekiso.
Ngomhla wesi-7, ndandiba nesigarethi sokuqala sam imini emotweni yam endleleni endleleni yokusebenza, njengoko kwakuqhelekileyo. Ndayigxotha emva kweedodo ezimbalwa kuphela. Ndineembalwa ezimbalwa emini, kwaye kwakhona ndingaba needoksi ezimbalwa kuphela. Into ethile kwiivithamini yayenza ukuba iigareyi zithande ukuntsonkotha ezinzima kakhulu - uhlobo - kunzima ukuchaza. Indlela engcono kakhulu yokuba ndiyichaze ngayo - abantwana bam bayahamba emgangathweni wam osanda kuphepheka kwizihlangu ezincolileyo. Ndaziva ndetyhefu. Ndafumanisa ukuba ndibhema ngaphandle kokufuna, kodwa ngenxa yokuba yinto endiyenzayo. Ndinezinkani. Ndaphuma ndaza ndithenga ipakethi ye-cigarettes kuba ndaphuma kwaye ndingacingi ukuba ndenzile.
Ndine-cigarette yokugcina yobomi bam ngo-11: 00 ebusuku.
Ndathi kum, kunye nendoda yam: "Ndiya kubona ukuba ndiyakwazi yini ukuya ngaphandle kokutshaya kusasa - Ndiya kunika le nto ithuba lokusebenza."
Ekusebenzeni, ndivumela wonke umntu ukuba ndiya kukubetha. Umphathi wam, umntu otshaya umqhubi oqhubekayo kwiminyaka eyi-10 ngoku wathi, "Khawuthabathe ngelinye ilanga ngexesha, ungacingi ngomso." Umoya Awukuphela nje ukukhupha, inceda ukufumana i-nicotine ngokukhawuleza, kwaye inokwenza uhlobo lokuthoba. Ndaphumelela esihogweni iveki kakuhle kakhulu. Andihlaziyi ngamanye amaxesha, kodwa ndathatha "iipelisi zengxamiseko" kwaye ndithatha ngomzuzu omnye ngexesha. Ngelo xesha, iintsuku zazibonakala zininzi kakhulu.
Umsi uhamba ngeveki enye yeprogram. Kwafuneka nditshintshe ukucinga kwam ukuba "Kulungile, makhe sibone ukuba ndiyakwenza oko ngokwethu ngoku." Ndiyisele indebe enye ye-Easy Now itiye emva komnye. Ndandifuna ukuba nezinye iindlela zokubhema. Esikhundleni sokutshaya endleleni eya ekhaya, ndahlabelela phezulu yam emaphaphu. Esikhundleni sokuphuma ngomsi kunye nomnye osebenza naye, ndiya ku thabatha ikofi kunye ne-chitchat okwesikhashana, okanye uthathe ikhefu langempela le-15 kwixesha lokutya. Esikhundleni sokutshaya emva kokutya, ndafunda i-imeyile yam.
Emva koko, ngomhla we-9, ndifumene oko ndibiza ngokuba "iGlue Eyenze Yenzeke." Ndifumene le ndawo . Kwiphepha eliphambili ngaloo mini kwakuyiNdaba kaCheryl . Ndandiqhwala ngamagama:
"Ucinga ukuba ukuyeka ukutshaya kunzima, zama ukufumana umhlaza."
Ndiyongeze i-spin ...
Ucinga ukuba ukuyeka ukutshaya kunzima, zama ukuxelela abantwana bakho abanomhlaza ngenxa yento oyenze yona. "
Ndaya kwiforum kwaye ndafunda. Ndaya kwi-cognitivequitting.com. Ndathumela umgca "ndenze oko". Ndathumele izizathu zam ukuyeka . Ndaprintela loo ngxelo kunye neCheryl's Story kwaye ndayigcina ihamba kakuhle.
Ndandwendwela iforamu yonke yesibini yehhafu, kunye nemizuzwana engazange ikhululeke. Ndafumana abantu abaqondayo kunye nabantu abanokuba nexesha elidala kule nkqubo. Abantu abanokunyamekela.
Amaninzi amaninzi, kodwa enye into esinayo ngokufanayo, enoba sineminyaka engama-20 okanye i-60, nokuba sibheke inhlalo, okanye ngonaphakade kwaye sinjengefiend. Sonke sizilutha, kwaye asifuni ukuba.
Unyana wam omdala ucinga ukuba andizange ndibheke ukususela kwinyanga yam 19. Wayebona i-yorhwebo kunye nomntu waseMarlboro obulawa ngumhlaza, e-bald kunye nokuvuvukala esibhedlele. Wayekhokelwa ngumfanekiso, wambamba wathi:
"Ndivuya kakhulu ukuba awuyi kushiya umama."
Yiyiphi intsimbi entliziyweni yam. Ndifihla ukutshaya kwam abantwana bam ngenxa yeso sizathu, kwaye ngenxa yokuba andingafuni ukuba acinge ukuba kulungile ukutshaya.
Xa behla kuwo, ewe, ndiyeke abantwana bam, kodwa ngokuyinhloko, ndiyeke mna. Iintsana zam ziya kuhlala. Bandikhumbula, kodwa bahlala. Ndiyeke ukuze ndibabone bahlala! Andinayo ingxaki zempilo. Ndiyakwazi ukugxotha i-roller-blade eceleni kwonyana wam. Kodwa, ndifuna ukugxila kunye nabazukulwana bam ngelinye ilanga!
Ngokuyeka umncinane, ndiyathemba kwaye ndithandazele ndisindise kwiminyaka yeengxaki zempilo, kwaye ndizuze ngeminyaka emnandi, impilo enhle kunye nenkululeko.
Yintoni eyahlukileyo ngeli xesha? Ndiyeka ukuqonda. Ndiyazi "i-junkie" yam . Ndafunda ukuba inxalenye yam engakwaziyo eyenza ukuba ndisebenze ngokukhuselekileyo xa ndingayithobeli ingqalelo ilawula ukuzenzekelayo ngokuzenzekelayo ukuba ndimsiye. Ndihlala ndiyazi ukuba ndandisenokukhutshwa kwiinyanga ezili-19 kwaye njengemfazwe, andiyikulinda umzuzu ngenxa yokwesaba ukuhlaselwa kwe-sneak kwi-NICO idemoni.
Igama lam ngu Kerri. Ndiminyaka engama-31 ubudala, kwaye ndiyilwaphulo e-nicotine ekhululekile kwi-cigarettes kwiinyanga ezi-2.
~ Kerri ~ (KERRIR)
Okunye okuvela kwi Kerri:
5 inyanga kunye neSock
Iinyanga ezili-6 zeKherri
Unyaka Omnye weKherri
Yeka Ukubhema Xa Usemncinci
I-2 ye-Kerri yonyaka wesi-2 ye-smoke ye-Freeest