Ulwalamano lomntu ongasemngceleni we-Border (BPD) ubudlelwane luhlala luxhala, lukhulu, kwaye luphikisana, kwaye oku kunokwenene ngokukhethekileyo kulwalamano lwe-BPD.
Ukuba ucinga ukuqala ulwalamano nomntu onomntu oyi-BPD, okanye ukhona ngoku, kufuneka ufundise malunga neengxaki kunye noko ungalindela. Ngokufanayo, ukuba unikwe i-BPD, kunokuba luncedo ukucinga ngendlela iimpawu zakho eziye zachaphazela ngayo ubuhlobo bakho obusondelene.
Ukuchaphazeleka kweziMpawu
Kwi- Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Disabilities (DSM-5) , abaqeqeshi bempilo yengqondo babhekisela xa besenza ukuxilongwa, iimpawu ze-BPD zibandakanya "ubudlelwane bomntu obunzulu, obuzinzileyo kunye obuphikisanayo."
Eyona nto, abantu abane-BPD ba soyika ukuba abanye baya kubahamba. Nangona kunjalo, banokutshintsha ngokukhawuleza xa beziva bexakekile kwaye besaba ulwalamano olusondelene nabo, olubenza bahoxise ubudlelwane. Isiphumo sisoloko siphindela emuva kunye naphakathi kweemfuno zothando okanye ingqwalasela kunye nokuxothwa ngokukhawuleza okanye ukwahlukana.
Esinye isibonakaliso se-BPD esichaphazela kakhulu ubudlelwane kuthiwa ukusilahlela ubunzulu. Oku kunokukhokelela abo abane-BPD ukuba bahlale bebukela iimpawu umntu azinokubashiya aze atyhide nakwisiganeko esincinci njengesibonakaliso sokuthi ukulahlelwa kusondele. Iimvakalelo ezinokubangela ukuzama ukuphazamisa ukulahla, njengokuncenga, iziganeko zoluntu, kunye nokukhusela omnye umntu ukuba angashiyi.
Esinye isikhalazo esiqhelekileyo sabantu abathandekayo kwimida eselunxwemeni silala. Nangona ukuxoka kunye nokukhohliswa akuyiyo inxalenye yenkqubo efanelekileyo yokuxilongwa ye-BPD, abaninzi abathandekayo bathi ukuxoka ngenye yezinto ezixhalabisa kakhulu; oku kubangelwa kukuba i-BPD ibangela abantu ukuba babone izinto ezihluke kakhulu kunabanye.
Ubundlobongela obuphambene nomzimba omnye uphawu olusesikweni lweBPD, kwaye abantu abaninzi abane-BPD balwa nemibandela yobundlobongela. Kwakhona, ipesenteji enkulu yabantu abane-BPD bafumana ukusetyenziswa kakubi ngokwesini , okwenza isondo sibe nzima.
Ekugqibeleni, ezinye iimpawu ze-BPD, kuquka ukungahambi kakuhle , ukuzilimaza , kunye neempawu ezingabonakaliyo , ezinokuthi zibe nefuthe elingathanga ngqo kulwalamano olude.
Ngokomzekelo, ukuba umthandayo kunye ne-BPD ubandakanyeka ekuziphatheni okunyamezelayo njengokuqhubeka nokuchitha imali, kunokubangela uxinzelelo olukhulu ngaphakathi kwintsapho. Ukongezelela, ukuzithobela ukuzibulala kunokusongela amaqabane omtshato kwaye unokuvelisa uxinzelelo oluninzi kulwalamano.
Yithini Uphando
Unokumangaliswa xa ufumanisa ukuba uphando lwezenzululwazi luye lwaqinisekisa ukuba abantu abane-BPD banomdla wokuqhaqhaqhaqhaqhaqhaqhaqha obuninzi obubonakalayo ngenxa yokuxokozela kunye nokungasebenzi. Ngokomzekelo, uphando oluthile lubonise ukuba abafazi abaneempawu zeBPD babikezela uxinzelelo oludlulileyo lwengxaki kunye neengxabano ezingakumbi. Kwakhona, ngakumbi iimpawu ze-BPD zomntu ziyanelisekile kakhulu iingxelo zabo.
Ukongezelela, uphando luye lwabonisa ukuba iimpawu ze-BPD zidibaniswa nenani elikhulu lolwalamano lwangothando phakathi kwexesha, kunye neziganeko eziphezulu zokukhulelwa okungenakulungelelwa kwabasetyhini.
Abantu abane-BPD banamathenda okuqala kunye nabo banqwenela ukuqeda ubudlelwane obuninzi kwiintanethi zabo zentlalo kunabantu abangenazo izifo zobuntu . Oku kubonisa ukuba ubudlelwane obusondelene nabantu abane-BPD banakho ukuphela kokuhlukana.
Ekugqibeleni, ngokubhekiselele kwisondo, uphando luye lwabonisa ukuba abafazi abaneBPD banengqondo engakumbi ngesini, banokuziva banyanzelekile ukuba balala ngesondo kunye neqabane labo, kwaye baninzi kakhulu ngesondo kunabesifazana abangenayo i-BPD. Ngelishwa, akukho uphando olwenziweyo malunga nobulili kumadoda ane-BPD.
Ukuqala ulwalamano lobuRoma
Ekubeni zonke iingxaki ezikhoyo kwiintsebenziswano ze-BPD, kutheni umntu aqale ulwalamano nomntu onenkinga?
Okokuqala, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba nangona kukho iimpawu eziphazamisayo neziphazamisayo, abantu abane-BPD bahlala bekulungele, banobubele kunye nabanyamekelayo. Ngokuqhelekileyo baneempawu ezintle ezinokubangela ukuba babe neqabane lamanye amaxesha athile.
Ukongezelela, abantu abaninzi abaye baba nolwalamano lomntu nomntu ophethe i-BPD bathetha ngokuhleka, okuthabathayo, kunye nomdla we-BPD iqabane. Abantu abaninzi banamathele kumlingane weBPD ngokuchanekileyo kuba abantu abaneBPD banemivakalelo enzulu kunye nesifiso esinamandla sokuthandana.
Ngaba Unokwenza Ulwalamano Lwabantu Abathandwayo BPD Ekugqibeleni?
Ubudlelwane obuninzi beBPD buhamba ngethuba lokutshatyalaliswa kwentsholongwane. Abantu abane-BPD baya kuthi kananjalo baqala ukuxhamla umtshato wabo omtsha "kunye nexesha elithile baziva befumene umdlalo wabo ogqityiweyo, umntu oza kumsindisa oza kubahlangula entlungu. Olu hlobo lokucinga lubizwa ngokuba " ngcamango ."
Eli xesha lexeshana linokuba luncedo kakhulu kumlingane omtsha. Emva kwakho konke, kulungile ukuba umntu abe nevakalelo kakhulu ngawe kwaye uzive ngathi ufuna.
Iingxaki ziqala ukuphakama, nangona kunjalo, xa inyaniso ifakeka. Xa umntu ophethe i-BPD eqonda ukuba iqabane lakhe elitsha alinasiphoso, loo mfanekiso wecala lomphefumlo opheleleyo (udibeneyo) unokonakala. Ngenxa yokuba abantu abane-BPD balwela ukucinga , okanye ukubona izinto kuphela kumnyama nomhlophe, banokuba nengxaki yokuqonda ukuba abantu abaninzi benza iimpazamo nangona bathetha kakuhle. Ngenxa yoko, banokuhamba ngokukhawuleza bevela kwiingcamango zokuhlaziywa (okanye bacinga ukuba iqabane labo liyinto ekhohlakeleyo).
Isisitshixo sokugcina ubudlelwane nomntu onesiBPD kukufumana iindlela zokujamelana nale mijikelezo kunye nokukhuthaza umlingane wakho we-BPD ukuba ancede uncedo oluthile lokunciphisa le mijikelezo. Maxa wambi amaqabane olwalamano lwe-BPD ancedwa ngamathambo enyango .
Ukulawula ubudlelwane obunothando
Ukongeza kwizibhedlele zonyango, kumntu onomntu ongenayo i-BPD, kukho iindlela zokwelapha eziye zaboniswa ukuba zisebenze ngokubhekiselele ekuncedeni ubudlelwane:
I-Dialectal yokuziphatha unyango (DBT)
I-DBT yindlela yokhathazeka kwengqondo yokuziphatha engqinelana nokuziphatha komntu kwisimo sokuziphatha. Kukho ezine ezinezakhono eziphambili ezifundiswa kwi- DBT , kwaye enye yazo ilawula izakhono zobuntu.
Uphulo lwengqondo (MBT)
I-MBT yonyango olubandakanya ukuvavanya iimvakalelo zakho zangoku kwaye ubone indlela ezidibaniswa ngayo nezenzo zakho okanye izenzo.
Mayeza
Kukho akukho namachiza avunyelwe ukuphatha i-BPD , kodwa ngamanye amaxesha anikwe oogqirha ukuba bancede ukuphucula ubudlelwane babo. Uphando lubonisa ukuba amayeza athile anokunceda umntu ukulawula umsindo, ukunyamezela, nokudandatheka. Kuloo nqaku, kubalulekile ukuba uqikelele ngononophelo kwimiphumo emibi yonyango elinokuthi uncedo.
Ukuqhawulwa kobudlelwane obunothando
Imiba eninzi inokuvela xa ubuhlobo beBPD buphela. Ngenxa yokuba abantu abane-BPD besoyika kakhulu ukushiywa, ukuhlukana kunokubashiya beziva bexhalabele kwaye bachithekile. Nangona ulwalamano olubi, umntu onomdla weBPD unokuhlala enenkathazo yokuvumela ulwalamano luhambe. Oku kuyinyani ngokukodwa kwintsebenziswano yexesha elide okanye imitshato.
Yingakho kungengcamango enhle ukuba ube nenethiwekhi yenkxaso kuwe kunye nomlingane, ingakumbi xa kuvela ukuphuka, kwaye le ntanethi iquka rhoqo isifundo sezempilo yengqondo kunye / okanye umgqirha.
ILizwi
Inqaku elichanekileyo kunye lokugqibela, nceda ukhumbule ukuba ukuxela kweBPD kulungile. Oku kuthetha ukuba ngelixa abaninzi abantu abane-BPD bafumana iimpawu eziseleyo emva kwexesha kunye nonyango, kwixesha elide kukho ithemba lokuba ulwalamano lwakho nomhlobo wakho luyakwazi ukusebenza.
> Imithombo:
> I-American Psychiatric Association. "Umngcipheko woMntu weMida". I-Diagnostic and Statistical Manual yeZifo zeMental, ngo-2013 .
> Bouchard S, Godbout N, Sabourin S. Isimo sengqondo kunye nemisebenzi yabasetyhini abane-Borderline Personality Disorder ebandakanyekayo kwiintsebenziswano zobudlelwane. J Sex Sex Ther. 2009; 35 (2): 106-21.
> Clifton A, Pilkonis PA, McCarty C. IiNethiwekhi zoLuntu kwi-Borderline Personality Disorder. J Pers Disord. 2007 Agasti; 21 (4): 434-41.
> Edel, M., Raaff, V., Dimaggio, G., Buchheim, A., noMnu Brune. Ukuphonononga ukuPhumelela kweCandelo eliSebenzayo leCandelo eliSebenzayo lokuLawula iMpilo kunye neNyathelo loLuntu oluPhezulu lweZenzo zokuThathalaliswa kweziNyango eziNyango eziMngcipheko. IBritish Journal of Clinical Psychology . Ngo-2017 Mar; 56 (1): 1-15.
> Hill J et al. Isinamathiselo, ubuntu bomda, kunye nobudlelwane obusondelene. J Pers Disord . NgoDisemba ka-2011; 25 (6): 789-85.