Ukucinga ngokucokisekileyo kunokukwenza ukuba kunzima ukujonga izinto
Ukucinga okucacileyo, kwaziwa nangokuthi "ukucinga okumnyama okanye okumhlophe," kuyimpawu yezifo ezininzi zengqondo, kubandakanywa ukuphazamiseka komntu (BPD). Ukuba unayo i-BPD kunye nokucinga okuqinileyo ngumzabalazo kuwe, unokubona kuphela izinto ezigqithiseleyo, kungekho phakathi. Yonke ingcamango okanye imeko iyahlukana kumnyama okanye kumhlophe, okulungileyo okanye okubi kunye konke okanye akukho nto.
Ukucinga okunzulu kunokubangela ukuphazamiseka okukhulu okanye iimpendulo kunye nemiphumo ebalulekileyo. Ingaba kuphelisa ulwalamano okanye ukuyeka umsebenzi , ukucinga ngokugqithisileyo kunye ne-BPD kunokuchaphazela umgangatho wobomi.
Yiyiphi Imizekelo Yeengcamango Zengqondo?
Ukucinga ngokucokisekileyo kungabangela ukukhubazeka, kukubangela ukuba uqhubeke ucinga ingcamango yakho engaphelelanga kuyo yonke indawo yobomi bakho. Inokukuvula kwakhona kwiimvakalelo ezingekho mfuneko zokungaphumeleli xa ungeke uhlangabezane nemigangatho yakho eyingozi. Oku kunokubangela iimvakalelo ezihlalayo zokungaphumeleli, ukungafanelekanga okanye ukungathembeki.
Ucinga ukuba ucinga ngokungaziqondi kakuhle. Kwabo abane-BPD, kuqheleke kakhulu kwiimeko zemihla ngemihla.
Ngokomzekelo, cinga ukuba usanda kuqalisa umsebenzi omtsha . Xa uqala, uya kwinqanaba elihle. Umsebenzi "wakho umsebenzi wokuphupha". Umphathi wakho ngumongameli. Osebenza nabo bayamangalisa. Wonke umntu kufuneka akukhwele.
Emva koko, emva kweveki ezimbalwa okanye iinyanga, masithi senze iphutha emsebenzini kwaye ugxeke. Ngokukhawuleza, unokuya kwinqanaba elincinane. Kwi-mindset yakho entsha, ngumsebenzi wokuphela wokufa kunye ne-jerk kumphathi kwaye unentloni ukuvuma ukuba usebenza apho. Olu tshintsho ekubonweni lunokukukhokelela ukuba wenze ngokugqithiseleyo nangokungaqhelekanga, njengokushiya umsebenzi wakho ngaphandle kokutsha.
Nantsi omnye umzekelo. Masithi uthandana nomnye obalulekileyo kwiinyanga eziliqela. Ucinga ukuba umhle, uhlakaniphile kunye nomntu oyedwa ofuna ukuba naye. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba into enye ihamba ngokungahambi kakuhle, njengokulwa encinci okanye ukulibala into oyithethile, ngokukhawuleza uyaphaya kobudlelwane. Ngoku ucinga ukuba uzingca, ungenakuqonda kwaye uyaphulaphula.
UkuPhatha ukuCinga kweDichotomous
Njengoko kuboniswe kwimimiselo engentla, ukucinga ngokugqithisileyo kunokuba yingozi kakhulu, kukuthintele ekubeni uphile ubomi obutyebi. Iindaba ezilungileyo kukuba ukucinga ngokugqithisileyo kunye ne-BPD kungaphathwa.
Ngokuqhelekileyo kunconywa ukuba ufune unonophelo lwezonyango olunezibonakaliso zempawu zomntu kunye nemiba eqhelekileyo. Le mvelaphi ibalulekile ukuze ufikelele kwingcambu yokucinga ngokuthe ngqo kwaye uyidibanise.
Ngethuba leeseshoni zakho zonyango , umgqirha wakho okanye ingcali yeengqondo unokukubonisa imizekelo yakho yemihla ngemihla kwaye uxoxe ngeembono ezahlukeneyo. Ukuba uya kwizinto ezigqithiseleyo, uya kukunceda uqonde umgangatho ophakathi, ukunikezela kwindlela entsha yokucinga. Njengoko uqhubela phambili, uya kufunda ukubuza iimpendulo zakho ngokubuza oku ngezantsi:
- Ngaba kukho ubungqina obuxhasa iingcamango zam ?
- Ngaba ndicinga ngazo zonke iindile, okanye ndiyishiya izinto?
- Ingaba ukucinga kwakho kungenziwa umngeni ngomnye umntu? Njani?
- Ngaba bonke abantu bayakubona ngale ndlela?
Xa uthatha inyathelo emva, ungakha izakhono eziyimfuneko ukuze ufunde ingcamango ebonakalayo yobabini bakho kunye noluntu.
Imithombo:
Amtz, A. "Inkcazo yeNtlalontle kwiNgcaciso yoMntu woMntu". Uphando loPhando kunye noPhando, ngo- 2012, 707-718.