Indlela yokusingatha izigxeko zokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana bamanga
Q: Uncedo! Ndimtyholwa ngokunyanisekileyo ngokuxhaphazwa kwabantwana. Ubude bam buye bandenza ngamangqina ngamanga, besithi ndibuhlungu abantwana bam ngokwenyama. Ndiyazi ukuba ndimsulwa, kodwa ndixhalabile ukuba izityholo azenzayo zingalimaza amathuba am okuwunqoba umntwana. Yintoni endiyenzayo ukwenza iinkundla zibone ukuba uyayenza?
A: Ngelishwa, iziganeko ezifana nalezi zenzeka rhoqo.
Ingakumbi kwiimfazwe ezikhuselekileyo zokubambisana, i-tempers inokunyuka ngokukhawuleza kwaye zombini amaqela kufuneka azive engxaki. Kwezinye iimeko, umzali omnye unokuhendeka ukuba akholelwe ukuba ukumangalelwa komnye umzali wokuxhaphazwa kwabantwana kuzonyusa amathuba akhe okufumana ukugcinwa kwabantwana. Kodwa isicwangciso esingalunganga.
Kuyinyani ukuba abagwebi bayaphambukela kwicala lokulumkisa xa kuvela ukhuseleko lwabantwana. Nangona kunjalo, abagwebi abathandabuli amalungelo omzali ngaphandle kokuba kuyimfuneko-kwaye bayazi kakuhle ukuba izigxeko zobuxoki zenziwa rhoqo. Ngenxa yoko, naziphi na zonke izibango zokusetyenziswa gadalala ziya kuphenyiswa ngokupheleleyo yinkundla. Ngaphezu koko, ukuba ijaji inquma ukuba umzali wenze inyaniso engamanga kumzamo wokuphatha isigqibo sokugcina umntwana, unokuyalela ukuba umangalele umzali ukuba akhokhe iindleko zenkundla komnye umzali - kwaye aguqule ilungiselelo lokugcinwa umtyholwa.
Ngoko nangona uninzi lwabazali luzama, ukwenza izigxeko zobuxoki ekuzameni ukugcinwa kwabantwana kungekudala zihlawula.
Ukuphanda izigxeko zokuThatshazwa kwabantwana
Kwiimeko zokuxhatshazwa kakubi, ijaji iya kuphanda ngokubhekiselele kwibango ngalinye ngaphambi kokunikezelwa kokugcinwa okanye ukuhanjelwa. Oku kudla ngokukhokelela kwiimviwo ezichitha ixesha kunye nezindleko ngeengcali zonyango kunye neengqondo, ezingabangela ubunzima kubantwana.
Iinkonzo zokukhusela zentsapho, ngokomyalelo wejaji, zinokubandakanyeka kuphando. Oku kunokuba yi-intrusive, njengokuba iinkonzo zokukhusela abantwana zibuza abantu abasondeleyo malunga nokuziphatha kwakho kunye nokukhulisa abantwana.
Yintoni ongayenza Ukuba Utyholwa ngokunyanisekileyo kobundlobongela kwabantwana
Njengoko ungonwabi njengoko kunjalo, kufuneka uhambisane nophando kwaye ube njengentsebenziswano. Ukongezelela, ukuba utyholwa ngamanga, kufuneka uqoke ubungqina obufanelekileyo ukuxhasa ityala lakho. Oku kungaquka iinkcazo ngamalungu entsapho, abasebenzisana nabo, abahlobo okanye abamelwane-nabani na onokuqiniseka ukuba ungumzali onothando kwaye akayi kubakhomaza abantwana bakho. Nangona ingaba ngumdlalo ", wathi," ukufumana inkxaso kwabanye kuza kunceda ijaji ibone ukuba awuxhaphazi.
Ngokukodwa, vumela abantu abasondeleyo kuwe ukuba bazi ukuba kwenzekani kwaye bakhuthaze ukuba bathethe ngokuvulekileyo nangokunyaniseka malunga nobuchule bakho bokubazali xa uxoxwa ngabasebenzi benkonzo yokukhusela okanye abasebenzi benkundla. Yazi ukuba abaxhasi bakho banokunika iinkcazo ezibhaliweyo enkundleni malunga nobuchule bakho njengomzali. Ukufumana nje abantu abanokuthi bangakhange bakubone ukuxhaphaza okanye ukusongela abantwana bakho baya kunceda ityala lakho.
Ukuba akukho buqhetseba bokusetyenziswa gadalala bufunyenwe, uphando luya kuvalwa kwaye inkundla iya kugunyazisa ngokusemthethweni ukuba akukho kakubi kuyenzeka okanye ayikwazi ukuqinisekiswa.
Yintoni enokuyenza xa iiNkundla zidibanisa ukuTyelelwa okanye ukuKhathalela emva kokuPhando ngezoNyango zokuShatshazwa kwabantwana
Nangona abagwebi abafuni ukuthatha abantwana kude nabazali babo, bayaphambukela kwicala lokulumka xa kufikelele nakuphi na uhlobo lokusetyenziswa kakubi kwezilwanyana kunye nokugcinwa kwabantwana. Inkqubo yesenzo esifanelekileyo iya kuxhomekeka kwimeko yematyala kunye nezinye izinto. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ijaji inokumisa ilungelo lomzali osetyenzisiweyo lokutyelela kunye / okanye ukugcinwa kwirejista elinde uphando.
Xa olo phando luhluleka ukufumanisa ubungqina bokusetyenziswa kakubi, amalungelo omzali otshutshiswayo aya kubuyiselwa. Ukongezelela, ukuba ijaji inquma ukuba isityholo singenasisiseko, unokuyalela ukuba umangalele umzali ukuba akhokhe iindleko zeenkundla, kuquka neentlawulo zommeli, komnye umzali.
Nangona kunjalo, nayiphi na ixesha xa usityholwa ukuxhaphazwa kwabantwana, kufuneka udibane nommeli onamava ekujongeni amacala afanayo. Ingakumbi ukuba uphando alucacisi igama lakho, uya kufuna ukusebenza kunye negqwetha lomthetho losapho onokukunceda uqoke ubungqina obongezelelweyo, ukwakha ityala lokubhenela, kwaye ukhuthazele egameni lakho - ukwenzela ukuba inyaniso ibonakaliswe ngokupheleleyo kwaye amalungelo akho omzali angabuyiselwa.