Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba utshintshe ubuntu bakho okanye iipatheni zethu zobuntu ezisisigxina ebomini? Nangona iincwadi zokunceda kunye newebsite zihlala ziceba zonke izinto onokuzilandela ukutshintsha iimpawu zakho kunye nokuziphatha, kukho inkolelo eqhubekayo yokuba ubunzima bethu bobunzima abuyikutshintsha. U-Austrian psychoanalyst u- Sigmund Freud wacebisa ukuba ubuntu bubekelwe ngokutsha kwilitye ngamanqanaba emihlanu.
Kwabaninzi beengcali zengqondo zanamhlanje zibonisa ukuba ubuntu bonke buzinzile kwaye buzinzile kulo lonke ubomi.
Kodwa kuthekani ukuba ufuna ukutshintsha ubuntu bakho? Ngaba indlela efanelekileyo kunye nokusebenza kanzima kunokukhokelela ekutshintsheni komntu ngokwenene, okanye ngaba sibambelele kwiimpawu ezingathandekiyo ezisisigxina ekufezeni iinjongo zethu?
Ubuntu obungunaphakade?
Umnqweno wokuguqula ubuntu awuqhelekanga. Abantu abaneentloni banokuba banqwenela ukuba bephuma kwaye bexoxa. Abantu abanomshushu abanokufisa ukuba bahlale bepholile kwiimeko ezihlawuliswe ngokomzwelo. Kwiinkalo ezininzi ebomini bakho, unokufumanisa ukuba kukho iinkalo ezithile zobuntu bakho ofuna ukuba ungatshintsha. Unokuze ubeke iinjongo kwaye usebenze ekujongeni ezo zici zobunzima. Ngokomzekelo, kuqhelekile ukusekela izigqibo zonyaka omtsha zijolise ekutshintsheni izingxenye zobuntu bakho njengokuba unomusa, unomusa, unomonde okanye uphuma.
Ngokubanzi, iingcali ezininzi ziyavuma ukuba ukwenza utshintsho olwenene nolusigxina kwiimpawu ezibanzi kunokuba nzima kakhulu. Ngoko ukuba unganelisekanga ngeemeko ezithile zobuntu bakho, ngaba kukho nto enokuyenza ukuze utshintshe? Ezinye iingcali, kubandakanya i-psychologist uCarol Dweck, bakholelwa ukuba ukutshintsha iindlela zokuziphatha , imikhwa kunye neenkolelo zobuxoki phantsi kobubanzi beempawu (umzekelo, ukuzazisa , ukuvumelanisa) kuyona nto ebalulekileyo ekuguquleni ubuntu.
Izinto eziBumba Ubuntu
Ukuqonda ukuba umntu unokutshintshwa, kufuneka siqale siqonde oko kubangelwa ubuntu. Impikiswano yeminyaka yobudala ngokumelene nokukhupha iphinda iphumelele. Ubuntu obubunjwa yi- genetics (ubunjani) okanye ngokukhuliswa kwethu, amava , kunye nendawo (ukunyusa)? Kwixesha elidlulileyo, i-theorists kunye nefilosofi bavame ukuthabatha enye indlela kunye nokunyanzelisa ukubaluleka kwemvelo okanye ukunyusa, kodwa namhlanje abaninzi abanengcinga bayavuma ukuba umxube wemibutho ebini ekugqibeleni ifake ubuntu bethu.
Akunjalo kuphela, kodwa ukusebenzisana rhoqo phakathi kwe-genetics kunye nemo-ngqongileyo kunokunceda ukuma indlela ubonakaliswa ngayo ubuntu. Ngokomzekelo, unokuba ufuzo olusisigxina ukuba ube nobungane kwaye ulahlwe, kodwa ukusebenza kwindawo ephezulu yokunyamezela kunokukukhokelela ekubeni ube mfutshane kwaye uphakamise ngakumbi kunokuba unokubekwa kwindawo ehlukile.
UDweck uxela ibali labafana abafana abahlukeneyo emva kokuzalwa kwaye bahlukana. Njengabantu abadala, la madoda mabhinqa abesifazana ngamagama okuqala, abelana ngokuzilibazisa okufanayo, kwaye banamanqanaba afanayo neempawu ezithile ezilinganiselwe ekuhloleni komntu. Le mizekelo inika isiseko sengcamango yokuba bethu ubuqu bubukhulu becala.
Esikhundleni sokubunjwa ngendalo kunye namava ayingqayizivele, ezi zifundo ezimbini zikhomba amandla emvelo.
I-Genetics ibaluleke kakhulu, kodwa ezinye iingcaphephe zibonisa nokuba ukukhuliswa kwethu kunye nenkcubeko yethu inxulumene neendlela zethu zofuzo ukuze siyilo.
Ukugxininisa kwi "In-Betweens" yoBuntu kunokuba ngundoqo
Kodwa uDweck ubonisa ukuba utshintsho lomntu lusenokwenzeka. Iimpawu ezibanzi zinokuthi zizinzile ngobomi, kodwa uDweck ukholelwa ukuba "phakathi" kweempawu eziphantsi kobubanzi beempawu ezibaluleke kakhulu ekusenzeni thina.
Ngabo baphakathi kweempawu, ukholelwa, oko kungatshintshwa.
Ngoko yintoni kanye le "phakathi" kwimiba yobuntu?
- Iinkolelo kunye neenkolelo zenkolelo, iDweck iphakamisa, idlala indima ebalulekileyo ekubunjweni komntu ngaphantsi kwinqanaba elibanzi. Xa utshintshile iinkalo ezithile zobuntu bakho bunokuba ngumngeni, unokwenza ngokukhawuleza ukutshintsha ezinye zeenkolelo ezingundoqo ezinceda ukuma nokulawula indlela ubuntu bakho obonakalisiweyo ngayo.
- Ezinye i-theorists zicebise ukuba izinto ezifana neenjongo kunye nezicwangciso zokubhekana nokudlala zidlala indima ephambili ekuqaliseni ubuntu. Umzekelo, ngelixa unokuba nobuninzi beBakala A ubuntu , ungafunda izakhono ezintsha zokuphatha kunye nokulawula uxinzelelo olukunceda ukuba ube ngumntu okhululekile.
"Iinkolelo zabantu ziquka ukubonakaliswa kwengqondo yendalo kunye nokusebenza kwayo, ubuhlobo babo, kunye nehlabathi labo. Ukususela ebusaneni, abantu bahlakulela ezi nkolelo kunye nezibonakaliso, kwaye abaninzi abantu abahloniphekileyo abantu beenkolelo ezihlukeneyo bayavuma ukuba bangundoqo zobuntu, "uDweck wachaza ngo-2008 iphepha.
Kutheni ugxininisa kwiinkolelo? Nangona iikholi ezitshintshayo zingenakuba lula, zinika indawo yokuqala efanelekileyo. Iinkolelo zethu zimelela ubomi bethu obuninzi, kwindlela esizijonga ngayo thina nabanye, indlela esisebenza ngayo kwimpilo yemihla ngemihla, indlela esinokujamelana ngayo nemingeni yobomi kunye nendlela esenza ngayo ukudibanisa nabanye abantu. Ukuba sinokwenza utshintsho lwangempela kwiinkolelo zethu, yinto enokuba nefuthe elimangalisayo kwiimpawu zethu kwaye mhlawumbi kwiinkalo ezithile zobuntu bethu.
Thatha, umzekelo, iinkolelo malunga nokuzibandakanya kuquka ukuba iimpawu zobuqu kunye neziganeko zizinzileyo okanye zingenakunyuswa. Ukuba ukholelwa ukuba uyingqiqo yakho yinqanaba elimisiweyo, ngoko awukwazi ukuthatha amanyathelo okuqinisa ingcamango yakho. Ukuba, nangona kunjalo, ujonga iimpawu ezifana neziguqulwayo, uya kwenza umgudu omkhulu wokumelana nomngeni kwaye uwandise ingqondo yakho.
Ngokucacileyo, iinkolelo malunga nokuba nazo zidlala indima ebalulekileyo ekusebenzeni kwabantu, kodwa abaphandi baye bafumanisa ukuba abantu banokutshintsha iinkolelo zabo ukuze bathathe indlela engabonakaliyo kwiimpawu zabo. Ngomnye umzamo, abafundi baxabisa kakhulu abafundi bezemfundo, amaqondo amanqanaba aphakamileyo, kunye nolonwabo olukhulu lwesikolo emva kokufumanisa ukuba ubuchopho buqhubeka nokuqhagamshelana ngokutsha kolwazi olutsha.
Uphando lukaDweck luye lwabonisa ukuba indlela abantwana abadunyiswayo abanokuchaphazela ngayo iinkolelo zabo. Abo badunyiswa ngenxa yobulumko babo bavame ukubamba iinkolelo ezizimeleyo malunga neempawu zabo. La bantwana bajonga ukuqonda kwabo njengengqondo engatshintshiyo; unayo okanye awuyi. Abantwana abadunyiswayo ngenxa yemigudu yabo, ngakolunye uhlangothi, ngokuqhelekileyo bajonga ukuqonda kwabo njengengqondo. La bantwana, uDweck ufumene, bathambekele ekuphikeleni ubuso obunzima kwaye banomdla wokufunda.
Ngoko Yintoni Ongayenza Ngokwenene Ukutshintsha Ubuntu Bakho?
Ukutshintsha ukususela kwi-introvert ukuya kwi- extrovert kunokuba nzima kakhulu (okanye kungenakwenzeka), kodwa kukho izinto iingcali ezikholelwa ukuba unokuzenza ukwenza utshintsho lwangempela kunye nexesha elizeleyo kwimibandela yobuntu bakho.
- Gxininisa ekutshintsheni imikhwa yakho. Iingcali zengqondo ziye zafumanisa ukuba abantu abonakalisa iimpawu zobuntu ezintle (njengobubele nokunyaniseka) baye bahlaziya iimpendulo eziqhelekileyo. Isimo singakwazi ukufundwa, ngoko ukutshintsha iimpendulo zakho zokuhamba ngexesha linye yindlela enye yokwenza utshintsho lomntu. Ewe, ukudala umkhwa omtsha okanye ukuphula umdala akuzange kube lula kwaye kuthatha ixesha kunye nomzamo omkhulu. Ngokuziqhelanisa ngokwaneleyo, le ndlela yokuziphatha entsha kwaye ekugqibeleni ibe yinto yesibini.
- Tshintsha zakho iinkolelo. Ukuba ukholwa ukuba awukwazi ukutshintsha, ngoko awuyi kutshintsha. Ukuba uzama ukuba uphumelele, kodwa ukholelwa ukuba ukuzazisa kwakho kuyisimo esigxina, esigxina, nesingaguqukiyo, ngoko ke awuyi kuzama ukunxulumana nabanye. Kodwa ukuba ukholelwa ukuba iimpawu zakho zobuqu ziguqulwa, unokwenza umgudu wokuba uxolelane.
- Gxi ninisa kwinkqubo. Ucwaningo lukaDweck luye lubonisa ukuba ukudumisa imizamo kunokuba kubalulekile. Esikhundleni sokucinga "Ndiyindoda ehlakaniphile" okanye "Ndingumntu onetalente," nditshintshe iibinzana ezinje "Ndasebenza nzima" okanye "Ndifumene indlela efanelekileyo yokusombulula loo ngxaki." Ngokutshintshela kwizinto ezininzi zokukhula kwengqondo kunokuba ube nengqondo engagqibekanga, unokufumanisa ukuba kulula ukubona utshintsho kunye nokukhula kwangempela.
- Yenza inkohliso uze uyenze. Isazi sengqondo sengqondo esifanele uChristopher Peterson saqaphela kwangaphambili ukuba ubuntu bakhe bokuqala bungenokuba nefuthe elibi kumsebenzi wakhe njengemfundo. Ukuze anqobe oku, wagqiba ekubeni aqalise ukwenza izinto ezidityanisiweyo kwiimeko ezazibiza, njengaxa behambisa intetho kwiqela elizele abafundi okanye banikeze inkcazo kwinkomfa. Ekugqibeleni, ezi ziphatha ziba yinto yesibini. Ngelixa wayecebisa ukuba wayesengumngceli, wafunda indlela yokuhlaselwa xa efuna ukuba.
Ukuguquka komntu kungabi lula, kwaye ukuguqula ezinye iimpawu ezininzi kunokuba akunakwenzeka ngokupheleleyo. Kodwa abaphandi bakholelwa ukuba kukho izinto onokuzenza ukuze utshintshe ezinye iinkalo zobuntu bakho, iinkalo ezikhoyo phantsi kwezinga lezo zimbane, ezinokubangela utshintsho lokwenene endleleni osebenza ngayo, ucinge, kwaye usebenze ngosuku lwakho -uku-suku.
Imithombo:
Aronson, J., Fried, CB, & Good, C. (2001). Ukunciphisa imiphumo yokusongela abafundi be-African American college ngokubumba iingcamango zengqondo. Umbhalo weeNzululwazi zezeNtlalo zengqondo, 1-13.
Dweck, CS (2008). Ubuntu bunokutshintshwa? Izikhokelo zangoku kwiSayensi zeNzululwazi, 17 (6), 391-394.
> Mueller, M., & Dweck, CS (1998). Indumiso yoBulumko inganciphisa intshukumo nokusebenza. I-Journal of Personality and Psychology, 75, 33-52.