Abo ba tshatayo bayazi ukuba umtshato unokubetha ngokukhawuleza kwinqanaba. Xa kwenzeka ekuqaleni komtshato, oku kuya kuntshatshaza kwaye mhlawumbi kufanele ukuba. Njengesihloko sokuphumelela komtshato kunye nokuqhawula umtshato, uhlolisiso luye lwafundwa ngokubanzi, uphando lubonisa ukuba indlela ehamba ngayo kwiminyaka emibini yokuqala kunye kunye nayo ingenza okanye iphule umtshato wayo.
Indlela Yokuqala Iminyaka Eyibini Yayifanekisela Ixesha Elide Eliqhelekileyo Lomtshato
UDkt. Ted Huston weYunivesithi yaseTexas eAustin wanikezela ngoluvo oluthile malunga nokufundwa kwezinto ezisemgangathweni zomtshato kunye noxinzelelo. "Olu cwaningo lubonise ukuba imibhangqwana esandula kutshata kunye neenguqu kwimibutho yabo yokuqala kwiminyaka emibili yokuqala ibonakalisa isithuba sabo somtshato esihlala ixesha elide emva kweminyaka elishumi elinesithathu ... ukuphazamiseka-njengokuba kubonakaliswe ukuxothwa kothando, ukuncipha kwothando oluninzi, ukunciphisa inkolelo yokuba iqabane lomntu liyayiphendula, kunye nokwanda kwenyango-ukwahlula izibini eziqhawule umtshato kwabo babeka umtshato osisigxina. " Abaphandi bafumanisa "ukungafani phakathi kwamaqela athile abatshatayo nabatshatileyo babecala emva kokuba babophe iqhina."
Ucwaningo lwaseTexas lubhekisele kwizibini eziyi-156 ezatshatile ngokokuqala ngqa ngo-1981. Abaphandi bafumanisa oku kulandela emva kweminyaka elishumi elinesithathu:
- Izibini ezingama-68 zazingatshatanga
- Izibini ezingama-32 zazingatshatanga
- Izibini ezingama-56 zaqhawula umtshato
Iingxaki kwiinyanga zokuQala zokuNtshatyalaza ziMbi
Izibini eziqhawule umtshato kwiminyaka emibini yokuqala zibonisa iimpawu zokulahlekelwa yintliziyo kwaye zingabonakali omnye komnye kwiinyanga ezimbini zokuqala zomtshato wazo.
Kuwuphawu lweengxaki ukuba iqabane elitsandul 'ukutshata liqala ukuphazamiseka kunyaka wokuqala. Izibini ezitshatileyo zitshatileyo zitshatileyo ezikwazi ukufumana iimvakalelo ezintle malunga neqabane labo ngexesha lexesha elide kwixesha lamano.
Ukujongana ne-Honeymoon Blues
Ukuba ufumana udidekile emva komtshato wakho, kulungile. I-honeymoon blues iqhelekile. Nonke nibabanjwe kwimalungiselelo emitshato yomtshato. Kuqinisekisiwe ukuba xa ungenayo ingxaki yokujongana nayo, uya kuba nelahleko. Kufana neeholide emva kokuhlalisa abantu abaninzi.
Nangona kunjalo, kubalulekile ukuba ungayithobeli le xesha lokudakumba. Ukulungelelaniswa kweblues esandula kutshata kunokukunceda ukuba uphumelele. Ixesha lokuqhubela phambili ukubeka isigaba somtshato bonke ubomi bakho ndawonye. Njengoko kuthethwe ngutitshala kaDkt. Huston, into ephambili ebantwini abasandul 'ukutshata kufuneka ibe nokugcina uthando lomtshato luphila.
Kukho ezinye izinto eziphambili ekufuneka zijongane nazo. Iinjongo eziliqela ezifunekayo ukulungiswa kunyaka wokuqala zibandakanya indlela yokwabiwa nokuphatha imali, ngubani oya kwenza imisebenzi, imisebenzi yokuchitha ixesha elikhululekile, ukufumana ixesha lokulala ngesondo, ukujongana nemithetho kamasipala, ukuqonda ukungafani ngokomoya okanye unqulo, ukufunda indlela yokujongana neengxabano, nokuxoxa ngezinto ezilindelekileyo.
Ngelishwa, ezininzi izibini ziphepha iingongoma ezinokuthi zithukuthele, kodwa ukwenza njalo kuya kukwenzela umanyano wakho.
Iiflagi eziBomvu ukuLinda
- Ukungabi nolwalamano nolwalamano
- Ukungakwazi ukuzonwabisa kunye
- Ukuzingca
- Uloyiko lwengxabano
- Ukungabi nhlonipho
- Ukuzinikezela kwexesha kwizinye izinto
- Ukuchitha imali ngaphezulu
- Ukuxhomekeke kakhulu kubazali
- Iingxaki zesondo
- Izilwanyana kunye / okanye ukusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi
- Ukuxhatshazwa ngokomzwelo kunye / okanye ukusetyenziswa kakubi ngokomzimba
- Izinto ezingalindelekanga
- Utshatile kakhulu okanye ngenxa yezizathu ezingalunganga
Into enokuyenza Ukuba Wena ulwa
Into enokuyenza yintetho evulekileyo neyinyaniso kunye neqabane lakho, ngaphandle kokugxeka, malunga neenkxalabo zakho.
Unokuqala ngokuthetha into enje, "Ndicinga ukuba bobabini sinzima ukulungelelanisa ukutshata." Ukusuka apha unokuzifumana ukuba zeziphi izinto ezinokuthi zilungele wena nonke. Kungaba ukufunda iincwadi zokunceda, ukufuna ukukhokelwa kwindlu yakho yonqulo, umgangatho wemfundo yomtshato okanye unyango lwababini.
Yakha isiseko somtshato ophumelelayo
Nangona isibini sokuqala sithathwa njengento ebunzima kakhulu, iyakuthi ikhunjulwe njengeyona nto iyonwabileyo. Zingaba lixesha elikhulu kakhulu lolwalamano kunye nokufumanisa. Kukho into eninzi yokufunda malunga nomnye kunye nokuninzi ukuvakalisa omnye komnye. Ngethuba lokutshata komtshato, unako ukwakha isiseko kunye nokwenza isigaba somtshato obunentsingiselo. Nandipha kwaye nithandane!
> Umthombo: "I-Condomubial Crucible: Iminyaka emitsha njengamaxesha esandul 'umtshato womtshato, ukuxinezeleka kunye noqhawulo" ngoTed L. Huston, uJohn P. Caughlin, uRenate M. Houts, uShanna E. Smith kunye noLaura J. George, "I-Journal of Personality and Psychology." (2001; 80: 237-252).
* I-Article ihlaziywe nguMarni Feuerman