Iingxaki zokuSombulula iingxabano zokuPhepha

by Elizabeth Scott

Ubulumko obuqhelekileyo (kunye nophando) luthetha ukuba unxibelelwano olufanelekileyo lunokuphucula ubuhlobo, ukwandisa ubudlelwane obusondeleyo, ukuthembela kunye nenkxaso. Umnxibelelwano uyinyaniso: Ukunxibelelana kakubi kunokunciphisa intlawulelo, ukudala uxinzelelo, ukungathembeki nokudelela! Ngenxa yokuba ingxabano ayinakukuphepha kwimibutho (kwaye kungekhona impawu yenkxalabo), wena unokunciphisa ubuninzi bexinzelelo kunye nokuqinisa ubudlelwane bakho ngexesha elifanayo ukuba ukwakha ulwazi kunye nezakhono zokusingatha ingxabano ngendlela ephilileyo. Nayi imimiselo yezinto ezingalunganga kunye neemeko eziwonakalisayo kunye neendlela zokunxibelelana ezinokunyusa ingxabano kubuhlobo. Zingaphi ezi zinto zivakala ngathi unento?

1 - Ukuphepha ukuxabana ngokupheleleyo

DMH Izithombe / I-Choice of Photographer's Choice / Getty Izithombe

Kunokuba baxubushe ngokukrakra kwesakhiwo ukuzola, ukuhlonipha, abanye abantu abatsho nto into yabo kumlingane baze balungele ukutshabalalisa, baze baxhamle ngendlela edibeneyo, eyingozi. Oku kubonakala kuyindlela encinci yongcinezelo - ukuphepha ingxabano ngokupheleleyo - kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo kubangele uxinzelelo kumabini omabini njengoko ukunyuka kukwenyuka, ukunyuka komsindo, kunye neengxabano ezinkulu kakhulu ekugqibeleni ziphumo. Kunempilo kakhulu ukulungisa nokulungisa ingxabano.

Ezi zinzakhono zokunxibelelana zingakunceda ukuba uthethe izinto ngendlela oza kuvezwa ngayo, ngaphandle kokungahloneli omnye umntu.

2 - Ukuzikhusela

Iifoto ze-Blend - uJoseph Luis Pelaez Inc / Getty Izithombe

Esikhundleni sokujongana nezikhalazo zomlingani kunye nenjongo kunye nokuzimisela ukuqonda ingcamango yomntu womntu, abantu abazikhuselayo bayakukhanyela nayiphi na into ephosakeleyo baze basebenze nzima ukukhusela ukuba banokubangela ingxaki. Ukunyamekela uxanduva kunokubonakala kunciphisa uxinzelelo kwixesha elifutshane, kodwa kudala iingxaki zexesha elide xa amaqabane angaboni ukuphulaphulwa kunye neengxabano ezingaphendulwanga kwaye ziqhubeke zikhula.

3 - Ukugqithisa

I-Overgeneralizations inokunyusa umdlalo xa usombulula ingxabano. Nantsi indlela yokugcina iingxabano zakho eziphantsi koxinzelelo. I-Creative RF / Milton Brown / Getty Izithombe

Xa kwenzeka into engayithandiyo, abanye bayayiphosisa ngaphandle kwenani ngokwenza ukutshabalalisa. Gwema ukuqala izivakalisi ngokuthi, "Njalo," kwaye, "Akunjalo," njengokuba, "Uhlala ufika ekhaya ngokukhawuleza!" okanye, "Awuze wenze oko ndifuna ukukwenza!" Yeka kwaye ucinge malunga nokuba oko akunjalo ngokwenene. Kwakhona, musa ukuvelisa iingxabano ezidlulileyo ukuphonsa ingxoxo-isihloko kwaye uvuselele ukungabi nantoni. Oku kusemgangathweni yenkqubela yokwenene, kunye nokwandisa umgangatho weengxabano.

Ngamanye amaxesha asiqapheli iindlela iindlela iingqondo ezingavuthela ngayo izinto ngaphandle kwenani. Olu luhlu lwezinto eziqhelekileyo zokuphazamiseka kwengqondo zingakwazi ukufikelela kwindlela yokwalamano oluhle nabanye, kwaye zinokunyusa amanqanaba okuxinwa . Bona ukuba ngubani na onokuqhelana nawe.

4 - Ukunene:

Isidingo sokuba "sikulungele" sinokuyandisa kunye nokuqinisa iingxabano. Nantsi ingxaki engaphantsi. I-RM RM / Wu Tao / Getty Images

Kulimaza ukugqiba ukuba kukho "indlela efanelekileyo" yokujonga izinto kunye nendlela "engalunganga" yokujonga izinto, kwaye indlela yakho yokubona izinto ilungile. Musa ukufuna ukuba iqabane lakho libone izinto ngendlela efanayo, kwaye ungayithathi njengento yokuhlaselwa yedwa xa unombono ohlukileyo. Khangela ukudibanisa okanye uvumelane ukungavumelani, kwaye khumbula ukuba akusoloko "ilungile" okanye "engalunganga," kwaye ukuba izimbono zombini zingabonakala zivumelekile.

5 - "I-Psychoanalyzing" / I-Mind-Reading:

"I-Psychoanalyzing" omnye umntu uyinto yokuphepha kwimpikiswano. Nasi isizathu, kwaye yintoni omele ukwenze endaweni yoko. I-RM / Smith Collection / Getty Izithombe

Esikhundleni sokubuza malunga neengcamango zabo neemvakalelo zabo, ngamanye amaxesha abantu banquma ukuba "bayazi" ukuba abo bahlobo babo bacinga njani kunye neengcinga zisekelwe kuphela kwiinguqulelo zabo zezenzo - kwaye zihlale zicinga ukuba zibi! (Ngokomzekelo, ukugqiba isigqibo somntu osesikhatyweni akukhathaleli ngokwaneleyo ukuba ube nexesha, okanye iqabane elikhatheleyo likhanyela ubulili ngaphandle kobugwenxa.) Oku kubangela ubundlobongela nokungaqondani. Kubalulekile ukugcina engqondweni ukuba sonke sivela kumbono oyingqayizivele, kwaye sisebenze kanzima ukuba singathathi nto; phu laphula omnye umntu kwaye ubavumele ukuba bachaze apho bavela khona.

6 - Ukulibala ukuLawula:

Chris Tobin / Getty Izithombe

Abanye abantu bayaphazanyisa, baphakamise amehlo abo baze bahlaziye oko baya kuthetha ngokulandelayo endaweni yokuphulaphula ngokwenene nokuzama ukuqonda iqabane labo. Oku kukugcina ukuba ungaboni umbono wabo, kwaye ugcine iqabane lakho lingathandi ukubona lakho! Musa ukunyamekela ukubaluleka kokuphulaphula ngokwenene kunye nomnye umntu! Ezi zakhono zokuphulaphula zibalulekile ukukhumbula.

7 - Ukudlala umdlalo we-Blame:

Ukumangalelwa akuncedi ukulungisa ingxabano. Oku kuyintoni. I-Creative RF / Nils uHendrik Mueller / Getty Images

Abanye abantu baphatha ingxabano ngokugxeka kunye nokugxeka omnye umntu kuloo meko. Bambona bevuma ukungabikho ubuthathaka ngokwabo ngokwabo njengobuthathaka bokuthembeka kwabo, kwaye bayakuphepha kuzo zonke iindleko, baze bazame ukuzihlazisa ngenxa yokuba "bephosakele." Kunoko, zama ukujonga ingxabano njengethuba lokuhlalutya imeko ngokuchanekileyo, ukuvavanya iimfuno zamabini omabini kunye nokuza nesisombululo esinceda bobabini.

8 - Ukuzama "Ukunqoba" Ingxabano:

Ukuzama "ukunqoba" ingxabano nomthandayo akunakunceda njengoko uzama ukuqonda. Nasi isizathu. UDaniel Day / Getty Izithombe

Ndiyayithanda xa uDkt Phil uthe ukuba abantu bajolise "ekuphumeleleni" imbambano, ubudlelwane bu lahleka! Ingongoma yoxubano lwentsebenziswano kufuneka ibe nokuqonda kunye nokuza kwisivumelwano okanye isisombululo esihlonipha iimfuno zabantu bonke. Ukuba wenza ityala malunga nomntu ongeyiphuthaphi, ukuhlaziya iimvakalelo zabo, nokuhlala unamathele kwindawo yakho yokujonga, wakho ugxininise kwindlela engafanelekanga!

9 - Ukwenza Ubomi Bokuhlaselwa:

Ukuhlaselwa komlingiswa kunokukwenza umonakalo ongapheliyo, kwaye akufanelekile. Nantsi indlela yokulawula ingxabano ngendlela engcono. UPeter Dazeley / Getty Images

Ngamanye amaxesha abantu bathabatha nantoni na isenzo esingathandekiyo kwiqabane kunye nokuliphosa kwi-flappy personality. (Ngokomzekelo, ukuba umyeni ushiya amasokisi akhe elele, ekhangelele njengomntu ongeyena umlinganisi aze athi "ungacatshanganga kwaye ucebe," okanye, ukuba ibhinqa lifuna ukuxubusha ingxaki kunye nolwalamano, ukubiza igama "elihlwempu," "ukulawula , "okanye" ifuna kakhulu. ") Oku kudala imbono engalunganga kumacala omabini. Khumbula ukuhlonela umntu, nokuba awuyikuthanda ukuziphatha.

10 - Ukulungiswa kwamatye:

UChristoph Rosenberger / Getty Izithombe. UChristoph Rosenberger / Getty Izithombe

Xa elinye iqabane lifuna ukuxubusha imiba yokuxhalabisa kulwalamano, ngamanye amaxesha abantu bayazikhusela i-stonewall, okanye bayenqaba ukuthetha okanye ukuphulaphula umlingane wabo. Oku kubonisa ukungabi nhlonipho kwaye, kwiimeko ezithile, kwanokudelelwa, ngeli xesha livumela ukuba ingxabano ephantsi ikhule. Ukuguqulwa kwamatye akusombululi nto, kodwa kubangela ukuvakalelwa kunye nokulimaza ubudlelwane. Kungcono ukuphulaphula nokuxoxa ngezinto ngokuhlonipha.