Xa Ukuzithemba Kwakho Kuninzi Okubi
Ngaphantsi kwamaxesha amaninzi, ukuzithemba yinto enhle. Abantu abathembekileyo bavame ukuphumelela kwimimandla ehlukahlukeneyo. Yiyo le ngqiqo yokuzithemba nokuzithemba okuvumela abantu ukuba baphume kwihlabathi baze bafikelele kwiinjongo zabo. Kwincwadi yakhe Yokuzimelela: Ukuzivocavoca , u-Psychologist u- Albert Bandura wachaza ukuba kukuzithemba, ngaphezu kwanoma yimuphi umgangatho, ochaphazela kwiziphumo ezintle xa uqhuba iinjongo.
Kodwa ngaba unokuzithemba kakhulu? Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba unento eninzi kakhulu? Kwiimeko ezininzi, ukwazi amandla akho kunye nokuqiniseka ukuba uphume kwaye uthathe ingozi ziimpawu ezintle. Kodwa xa le ntembelo yenza ukuba ungathinteki, ukuchasene nokuzama izinto ezintsha, kwaye ungenakukwazi ukuphulaphula abanye, kunokungaphazamisa impumelelo kunye nenhlalakahle.
Iimpembelelo Zokuzimela Kakhulu
Ukuzithemba ngokweqile kunokubangela iingxaki ezininzi kumntu womntu siqu, ezentlalontle kunye nobungcali.
- Amathuba alahlekileyo , njengokungathathi iiprojekthi kuba zibonakala zilula okanye phantsi kobuchule bakho
- Ukuthatha okuninzi , njengokuthi yebo kwiiprojekthi ongenakho izakhono zokugqiba
- Imiphumo yezenhlalakahle , ezifana nokuxhathisa abahlobo ngokuzicingela okanye ukuzikhukhumeza
- Imiphumo yendawo yokusebenza , efana nokuza ngokuzikhukhumeza ngaphezu kobuchule obufunekayo
- Iziphumo zobudlelwane , ezinokubangela ukuba uzikhathalele kwaye ungakhathazeki ngokufanelekileyo kunye neqabane lakho
Kuphononongo olulodwa lwezifundo zangaphambili ngokuzithemba, abaphandi bafumanisa ukuba ukuzithemba okukhulu ngezinye izihlandlo kunokuba nemiphumo engathandekiyo. Abantwana abanokuzithemba okuphezulu banokuthi bangene kwiimeko zokuziphatha ezinobungozi. Abantu abaneentlonelo eziphezulu bafuna ukuba nobuhlobo obunzima kakhulu kuba babethi abo bahlobo babo nayiphi na ingxaki zobudlelwane.
Ukuzithemba okuphezulu kwahlanganiswa kunye neemeko eziphezulu zokuziphatha ezinobundlobongela nobudlova.
Oku akusikhombisi ukuba ukuzithemba nokuzithemba izinto ezimbi. Kwezinye iimeko, ukuzithemba ngokweqile kunokukhokelela kwimpumelelo ethile. Abantu abanokuzithemba kakhulu ngezinye iinkhathi banokuthi baxhamle iimeko zabo, bekholise abanye ukuba banamakhono okwenza ukuba bazibonele. Kwezinye iimeko, ukuzithemba ngokweqile kunokubonwa njengento yokukhohlisa okanye nkquzelo, iimpawu ezingenza umqeshwa angathandeki kubaqeshi bamanje kunye nabazayo.
Ukuzithemba ngokweqile ngamakhono ethu yinto eyenzeka kuwo wonke umntu ngexeshana. Unokwenza ulungelelanise ikhono lakho lokugqiba iprojekthi ngomhla othile, kuphela ukuphela kwexesha ngaphambi kokuba le projekthi ibangelwe. Into enhle kukuba ukuzithemba ngokweqile kudla ngokuzilungisa. Iziganeko ezimbalwa zokujika emva komsebenzi okanye ngokugqithiseleyo mhlawumbi zikwanele ukwenzela ukuba uthathe ingqwalasela enkulu kwizakhono zolawulo lwexesha. Ngexesha elizayo iprojekthi iyenzeka, unako ukulawula ixesha lakho ngokufanelekileyo kwaye ube neengqiqo malunga nokuba kuya kuthatha ixesha elide ukugqiba umsebenzi.
Yikho xa ukuzithemba ngokweqile kukuqhele ukuba iziphumo ezinzulu kwaye zihlala zihlala njalo.
Yintoni Ebangela Ukuba Ukholo Olukhulu?
Inani lezinto ezahlukeneyo lunokufaka isandla kwizinga eliphezulu kakhulu lokuzithemba. Ukukhuliswa, inkcubeko, ubuntu , kunye namava adlulileyo bonke banokudlala indima ekubunzeni indlela umntu azijonga ngayo. Sonke siyinqobo kwiziko lethu, ngoko akuyikumangalisi ukuba iimpono zethu, amava, iingcamango, iimfuno, kunye neentando zithandwa kakhulu kwiingqondo zethu. Kodwa kutheni abanye abantu babonakala bakha into enjalo yokuzikhukhumeza?
Uphando lucebisa ukuba ezinye iingcamango ezinengqiqo zingabamba indima ekuncedeni ukuzithemba ngokwemibono nemibono yabantu.
Ezi zinto zingabangela ukuba abantu bachaze iziganeko namava ngeendlela ezijongene neenkolelo zabo, iingcinga zabo kunye nezimvo zabo. Ngenxa yoko, abantu bavame ukukholelwa ukuba indlela yabo yokucinga nokwenzayo iphezulu kwaye "ichanekile." Oku kunokubangela ukuba abantu bangaphumeleli ukujonga indlela ezinye iingcamango ezinokuba luncedo ngayo kunye nokungaphumeleli ukubona nayiphi na ingxaki ekungenayo. Yiyo le ngcamango yokungaziphathi komntu onokubangela ukuba nentembelo eninzi.
Iimbono Zokuzithemba
Ngoko sichaza njani ukuba yimaphi amanqanaba okuzithemba okufanelekileyo? Ngaba ngaba amanqanaba afanayo afana nabantu abahlukeneyo kunye naziphi na iimeko ezahlukeneyo? Ukuzithemba akuyona nje ukwakha kwengqondo; iyakuchukunyiswa kakhulu yenkcubeko. Ngokwenkcubeko, iimeko zodwa, zithemba ukuzithemba ngakumbi kunokuba zithini iindawo zentlangano. Ukulindeleka koMbutho malunga nokuba nethemba lokuba abantu bafanele babe nefuthe elinamandla kwindlela esibona ngayo ukuzithemba phakathi kwethu nakwabanye.
Ngokomzekelo, ngethuba lesibini leminyaka ye-20 leminyaka, ukuzithemba kwakubhekwa njengengozi, kuxhomekeke ekubeni ungubani. Abantu babelindeleke ukuba bahloniphe izibalo zamagunya, kubandakanywa nalawo asebekhulile okanye abaphakamileyo kwi-hierarchy yentlalo. Ukuzithemba kubantwana kunye nabasetyhini kwakunqwenela ngokugqithiseleyo, njengokuba abantwana kunye nabasetyhini babelindeleke ukuba bathobele kwaye bangaboni.
Njengoko izitishi zenkcubeko ziye zatshintshile, ulindelwe uluntu ngokuzithemba luye lwaguquka. Abantu bakhuthazwa ukuba bazimelele kunye nokuzithemba kuye kwaba yinto ebalulekileyo. Abazali bafuna ukuba abantwana babo babe nokuzithemba, bazi ukuba bafuna ntoni, kwaye babe neenjongo zokufezekisa iinjongo zabo.
Imimiselo yeNtlalo Iimpembelelo Iimbono Zokuqiniseka
Kodwa indlela esizibona ngayo ukuzithemba akuhlali ihlala ihambelana nomntu omnye ukuya kwesinye. Ngokomzekelo, uphando lufumene ukuba iinkokheli zentombi eziziphatha ngokufanayo kunye nabafana bazo ziyakuthi zibonwe njengeziqhwala, zengqondo, okanye zinobudlova. Le ntembelo ephindwe kabini yenza kube nzima ngabafazi ukuba baphakanyiswe kwindawo yokusebenzela kunye nokunyuka kwizikhundla zobunkokeli. Iimpawu zokuziphatha ezifunekayo ukuphumelela kwindawo yokusebenzela zifana nelokuba abafazi bahlala behlwaywa ngokubonisa.
Uphando lukwabonisa ukuba sinamathenda abanye xa beziphatha ngendlela ezithatyathwa njengezophulo zoluntu. Iimiselo zibangela ukuba amadoda aqiniseke kwaye aqiniseke, ngelixa abantu besifazane kulindeleke ukuba bakhulise kwaye bafudumele. Ukuba ngaphandle kwale miqathango kunokuba nemiphumo emininzi kumadoda nabasetyhini. Amadoda angabonakali kakhulu angabonwa njengamahloni okanye abuthathaka, ngoxa abafazi abazithembekileyo bajongwa njengabaphathi.
Indlela Ukuthembela Kuye Kuboniswe Ngayo Ingakhokelela kwiZiphumo Zentlalo
Kwisifundo esithile esenziwa ngabaphandi bakaYale, amadoda abonisa ukuba nomsindo ngokwenene akhulisa isimo sabo. Ngokwabanye, abafazi abavakalisa ingqumbo efanayo, babalwa njengento engaphantsi kwaye banikwa umvuzo ophantsi kunye nesimo. Abaphandi baphinde bafumanisa ukuba intliziyo yabasetyhini yayixhomekeke kwiimpawu zangaphakathi ("Ungumntu onomsindo") ngelixa ulaka lwabantu lugxeka kwiimeko zangaphandle. Okuthakazelisayo, ukubonelela ngolunye uhlobo lwengcaciso engaphandle yomsindo ophelile lo mbandela wesini.
Ngoko, kwiimeko ezininzi, mhlawumbi akunjalo ukuba abantu banethemba. Esikhundleni saloo ndlela, ukungaqiniseki kwimiqathango yesini kunye neengcamango zingabangela abantu, ingakumbi abasetyhini, ukuba bagwetywe ngokungathembeki xa bethetha nje ukuba bavelise amanqanaba aqhelekileyo okuqinisekisa.
Ezinye iinkcukacha zokuzithemba, nangona kunjalo, zingaphantsi kweengozi zentlalo kunye neengcali eziye zenza ezinye izibonakaliso zokuzithemba. Abaphandi uMelissa Williams noLarissa Tiedens bafumanise ukuba abafazi abavakalisa ukubusa ngohlobo lomzimba nangobuso buso, obunjalo kunye nobude obude bebenzisa izwi elikhulu, abazange bafumane ukulahleka okufanayo kwintlalo yoluntu.
Nangona ngokucacileyo oku kungayisombululi ingxaki yesini, olo phando lubhekisela kwiindlela abantu abanokuzithemba ngazo ngaphandle kokubhaliweyo ngokuthi "banethemba."
Ngaba Abantwana Banamhlanje Baqiniseka Kangako?
Omnye umzekelo wendlela indlela yokuzithemba ingatshintshwa ngayo yinkcubeko yindlela abantwana ababhekwa ngayo ngabanye abantu abadala. Iingcamango zolutsha zisoloko zibonisa ukuba abantwana banamhlanje badla ngokufumana oko kuthiwa "iinqanaba zokuthatha inxaxheba." Ngamanye amazwi, abantwana bafumana indumiso ngokuthatha inxaxheba kuphela, kungekhona kwimixholo yangempela yokusebenza kwabo. Olu dumiso lenzelwe ukwakha ukuzithemba nokuzithemba. Abagxeki baphakamisa ukuba le ndlela ikhokelela ekubeni unelungelo lokuzimela okanye ukungaqiniseki. Ukuba abantwana baqhube bekhulile becinga ukuba ukubonisa ngokukhawuleza kukwanele ukuphumelela, okwenza kube nzima ukuwamkela xa le mpu melelo ifike lula.
Nangona kunjalo, abaphandi abafana noCarol Dweck baye bafumanisa ukuba ukuncoma imizamo inendima ebalulekileyo ekwakheni into eyaziwa ngokuba yiqondo lokukhula. I-mindset yinto enokholo malunga nobuchule nokufunda. Abantu abaneengqondo ezinqwenelayo bakholelwa ekubeni ulwaphulo-mthetho luyimpawu engezelwe. Abo baneqondo lokukhula bakholelwa ukuba banokuziqhelanisa ngokwamandla abo.
Abantu abaneengqondo ezinqambileyo badla ukuyeka xa bejamelene nemingeni kuba bakholelwa ukuba banalo nje iimpawu ezingaqhelekanga kunye nezakhono ezifunekayo ukuze uphumelele. Labo abanengqondo yokukhula, ngakolunye uhlangothi, banokuzithemba nokuqonda ukuba banokuyinqoba umngeni ngokufunda, ukuzisebenzisa kunye nomzamo.
Ngoko yintoni enye indlela engcono yokwakha ukuzithemba kunye nokukhula kwengqondo? UDweck ubonisa ukuba ukudumisa imizamo, kunokuba iziphumo, ngundoqo. Ukwenza oku kunceda abantwana baqaphele ukuba imizamo kunye nezenzo zabo ziqikelela iziphumo, ezibanceda bafumane ukuzithemba abayidingayo ukuba bahlale bejoni phambili nakubhekene nobunzima. Oku akuthethi ukukhazimulisa abantwana ngokungenzi nto. Kunoko, kuthetha ukuqonda imizamo yabo kunokugxininisa kwiziphumo.
Ngoko kutheni izizukulwana ezisezikhulile zibona abantu abasebancinci bekholose kakhulu? Ngaba abantwana banamhlanje baqinisekile kakhulu ukuba bazintle?
Le ngcamango ifanelekile ngenxa yokutshintshwa kwimiqathango nenkcubeko. Izizukulwana ezidala zakhuthazwa ukuba zithule, zithobele, ziphume. Kubonwa, kodwa kungavakali, kwakuqhelekileyo kuchazwe njengento efanelekileyo xa ifika kwiintsana. Inkcubeko ishintshile, njengoko kuqonda kwethu ukuphuhliswa kwabantwana kunye neemfuno zabantwana. Ngoko kungenjalo ukuba abantwana namhlanje banokuzithemba - bayavunyelwa ukuba bazinyathelo lokuzibonakalisa ukuba izizukulwana ezidlulileyo zingazange zithobele njengabantwana.
Ukwakha I-Self-Confidence Yokwenene
Ngaba kungenzeka ukuba unokuzithemba kakhulu? Kubantu abaninzi, impendulo yalo mbuzo mhlawumbi ayikho. Enyanisweni, abantu bavame ukujongana neengxaki ezichaseneyo - abanokuzithemba kakhulu. Ngoko ukuba unengqondo eqinisekileyo yokuzimela kunye nokuqinisekiswa kokulandela into oyifunayo ebomini, kulungile! Ukuba ukuziva kwakho kukunyamekela kwaye kukukhathalele ubomi babanye, ngoko amazinga okuzithemba akho mhlawumbi afanelekileyo.
Ukuba uthe wagxininisa ngokwakho ngokwakho uhamba kwigumbi elincinci kwabanye abantu, kubekho ingxaki. Akukho nto engalunganga ngokuzithemba, kodwa ukuba le ntembelo ibonakaliswa njenge- narcissism okanye i-grandiosity eyonakalisa ubudlelwane bakho, ngoko kukho ithuba lokuba lingadluli. Okanye ukuba uvakalisa le ntembelo ngendlela engayinceda impilo yakho nobudlelwane.
Xa kunceda abantwana bahlakulele amanqanaba omgangatho wokuzithemba nokuhlonishwa, ukudumisa imizamo yinto enye yecala. Ukuzithemba kwakhona kubangelwa ekubeni nothando nenkxaso yabanakekeli abanokuthenjwa, kunye neenkqubo ezikhokeleyo ezikhokelela ekunikeleni imivuzo ngemida efanelekileyo. Kwizicwangciso, abantwana bayakwazi ukuhlola ihlabathi, bafumane amandla abo kunye nemida yabo, kwaye bakhulise amandla okuzilawula .
Ingxaki ngokuzithemba kakhulu kukuba ihlala iquka umboniso omkhulu wezinto ngaphandle kobuninzi obusemva kwayo. Abantu abacinga ukuba bangcono, bahlakaniphile, okanye bafanelekile kakhulu, emva koko, ngamanye amaxesha, ngezona zinto zibi kakhulu, zininzi ezingafundile, kwaye zincinci. Ngaphandle kokuba bahlala bodwa bengazi kakuhle iimpazamo zabo, into eyaziwa ngokuba yi- Dunning-Kruger .
Kwezinye iimeko, ukuzithemba ngokweqile kukubandakanya ukunganaki iimfuno zabanye ngenxa yeminqweno yakho. Oku kungakhokelela kwiingxaki ezinkulu kuzo zonke iintlobo zobudlelwane, kubandakanye ubudlelwane bokuthandana, ubuhlobo, kunye nentsapho. Emva koko, ngubani ofuna ukuchitha ixesha nomntu ocinga ukuba ubhetele kunabo bonke abantu kwaye ngubani ocinga nje ngaye?
Ngoko ke abantu bangayenza ntoni ukuqinisekisa ukuba ukuzithemba kwabo kunokwenene, kuyinyani, kwaye kuluntu?
- Gxininisa kwimigudu, kungekhona umphumo. Ingaba uvavanya impumelelo yakho okanye uzukisa abantwana bakho, zama ukugxininisa ngakumbi umsebenzi oye wangena emsebenzini kunokugxila kwindlela izinto eziye zavela ngayo. Awukwazi ukulawula rhoqo indlela izinto ezihamba ngayo, kodwa unokulawula umlinganiselo womsebenzi owawubeka ekufezeni iinjongo zakho.
- Qhubeka ufunda izinto ezintsha. Nangona uqinisekile kakhulu ngezakhono zakho kwindawo, qhubeka ukhangele imingeni emitsha. Kulula ukuzithemba ngakumbi xa sicinga ukuba siyazi yonke into eyaziwayo malunga nesifundo. Ukufumana imiceli-mngeni emitsha yokulwa nayo ayiyikuphucula kuphela izakhono zakho; Kwakhona kukukhumbuza ukuba kukho iindlela ezintsha zokucinga ngezinto.
- Mamela oko abanye bathethayo. Ukuzithemba ngokwexesha elingakumbi ngamanye amaxesha kungabangela ukuba abantu baqine baze bathethelele. Esikhundleni sokucinga ukuba indlela yakho yindlela efanelekileyo okanye yodwa, zama ukugcina ingqondo evulekile. Akunakuze uvumelane nabanye abantu, kodwa kubalulekile ukuphulaphula ukuze ufumane umboniso omtsha.
ILizwi
Ukuzithemba ngokuqhelekileyo kukho into abantu abanqwenela ukuba bayayiphucula, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha amanqanaba amaninzi athembekileyo anokuba yingxaki. Xa ukuzithemba kukuzikhukhumeza, kunokubangela abanye ukwahlukana kwaye kwenze kube nzima ukuphumelela bobabini kunye noluntu. Ukuphuhlisa umgangatho wokuzithemba kubalulekile ekuphumeleleni. Ukuzithemba okunjalo kuvumela abantu ukuba bakholelwe ngamakhono abo ukuba bathathe ingxaki kwaye banqobe iingxaki. Zama ukubetha ibhalansi elungileyo ngoluvo olunzulu lokuzithemba ngaphandle kokwenza u-egocentrism.
> Imithombo:
> Brescoll, VL, & Uhlmann, EL Ngaba umfazi okhutheleyo angena phambili? Isimo sokudibanisa, isini, nokubonakalisa imvakalelo kwindawo yokusebenzela. Iingcali zeNzululwazi. 2008; 19 (3): 268-275. i-doi: 10.1111 / j.1467-9280.2008.02079.x
> Stanovich, KE, West, RF, & Toplak, ME I-Myside ubuxhakaxhaka, ukucinga ngendlela engqiqo kunye nobunkokheli. Izikhokelo zangoku kwiSayensi zeNzululwazi. 2013; 22 (4): 259-264.
> Williams, MJ, & Tiedens, LZ Ukumiswa kokungabonakali kokumiswa komsebenzi: Ukuhlaziywa kweemeta zezohlwayo zokuziphatha ngokugqithiseleyo kunye nokuziphatha okucacileyo kwabafazi. I-Psychological Bulletin. 2016; 142 (2): 165. i-doi: https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000039.