Ngokweengcali, inxalenye enkulu yezonxibelelwano zethu ayikho. Nsuku zonke, siphendula kumawaka kwizinto ezingabonakaliyo kunye nezenzo zokuziphatha, kubandakanya ukuhamba, ukubonakala kwamehlo, ukukhanya kwamehlo, kunye nesandi sezwi. Ukusuka kwizandla zethu zezinwele, iinkcukacha ezingabonakaliyo zibonisa ukuba ngubani na kwaye sichaphazela njani indlela esinxulumene ngayo nabanye abantu.
Uphando lwezesayensi malunga nokuthetha kunye nokuziphatha okungabonakaliyo kwaqala ngokupapashwa ngo-1872 kaCharles Darwin I-Expression of the Feelings in Man and Animals .
Ukususela ngeli xesha, uphando oluninzi malunga neentlobo, iimpembelelo, kunye neendlela zokuthetha ngokungaxeliyo kunye nokuziphatha. Nangona le miqondiso isoloko iyingqiqo kangangokuba asiyazi ngokuziqonda, uphando lufumene iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zonxibelelwano ezingabonakaliyo.
Kwiimeko ezininzi, sinxibelelana ngolwazi ngeendlela ezingafaniyo usebenzisa amaqela okuziphatha. Ngokomzekelo, sinokudibanisa kunye neengalo ezigqithisiweyo kwaye singabonakali amehlo ekugqibeleni.
1. Iingcaciso zobuso
Imbonakalo yobuso ijongene nenani elikhulu lezonxibelelwano ezingabonakaliyo. Cinga ukuba ingakanani ulwazi olunokuthi lugcinwe ngokumomotheka okanye ukukrakra. Ukujonga ubuso bomntu kudla ngokuba yinto yokuqala esiyibonayo, nangaphambi kokuba sive oko bathethayo.
Nangona ukuthetha kunye nokuziphatha okungabonakaliyo kungahluka ngokukrakra phakathi kweenkcubeko, ubuso obusantlalweni obonwabileyo, intlungu, intukuthelo kunye nokwesaba kuyafana kwihlabathi lonke.
2. Ukuziphatha
Ukunyuswa kwamatyala kunye nemiqondiso yindlela ebalulekileyo yokuthetha intsingiselo ngaphandle kwamagama. Imizimba eqhelekileyo ibandakanya ukugada, ukukhomba, nokusebenzisa iminwe ukubonisa inani lamanani. Ezinye izenzo zinobuchule kwaye zihambelana nenkcubeko.
Kwizicwangciso zendlu yamatyala, oommeli baye baziwa ukuba basebenzise iimpawu ezahlukahlukeneyo ezingabonakaliyo ukuze bazame ukuhamba ngeengcamango.
Igosa lingase lijonge ngexesha lokubukela ukuze licebise ukuba ingxabano yommeli ephikisayo iyinkxalabo okanye iyakwazi ukugqithisa amehlo akhe ubungqina obubonelelwa ngumbungqina kwizame zokunciphisa ukuthembeka kwakhe. Ezi zibonakaliso ezingabonakaliyo zibonakala zinamandla kwaye zinempembelelo kangangokuba abanye abagwebi banokubeka imingcele yintoni uhlobo lokuziphatha okungabonakaliyo okuvunyelwayo enkundleni.
3. I-Paralinguistics
I-Paralinguistics ibhekisela kumnxibelelwano wokuthetha olwahlukileyo nolwimi oluthile. Oku kubandakanya izinto ezifana nelizwi lezwi, ukuphakama, ukuchithwa, kunye ne-pitch. Cinga ngempembelelo enamandla ukuba ithoni yezwi ingaba nenjongo yesigwebo. Xa kuthethwa ngelizwi elinamandla, abaphulaphuli banokuyichaza ukuvunywa kunye nomdla. Amagama afanayo athetha ngezwi lokungazithembi lelizwi angabonakalisa ukungamkelwa kunye nokungabikho komdla.
Cinga zonke iindlela ezahlukeneyo ngokutshintsha ithoni yakho yezwi kunokutshintsha intsingiselo yesigwebo. Umhlobo unokubuza ukuba wenze ntoni, kwaye ungaphendula ngomgangatho ophezulu "Ndiyinto efanelekileyo," kodwa ukuba utsho njani ukuba loo mazwi angabonakalisa ubuninzi beendlela ovakalelwa ngayo ngokwenene. Izwi lokubanda lezwi lingacebisa ukuba awukho kakuhle, kodwa unqwenela ukuxubusha.
Izwi eliqaqambileyo nelonwabileyo liza kubonisa ukuba ngokwenene wenza kakuhle. I-tone ephazamisekile, ehlaselweyo ibonisa ukuba ulwahlukileyo kunye nokuba mhlawumbi umhlobo wakho kufuneka abuze.
4. Ulwimi lweeLwimi kunye neNyanga
Ukunyuswa kunye nokunyakaza kungadlulisela ulwazi oluninzi. Uphando olwenziwe ngolwimi lomzimba selukhule kakhulu ukususela ngowe-1970, kodwa amajelo adumile athe wagxininisa ukuchazwa ngokugqithiseleyo kwithuba lokuzikhusela, ukuwela ingalo kunye nokunqumla umlenze, ngakumbi emva kokupapasha incwadi ethi Julius Fast. Nangona ezi ziphatho ezingabonakaliyo zingabonisa iimvakalelo nezimo zengqondo , uphando lubonisa ukuba ulwimi lomzimba lubuqili kakhulu kwaye lucacileyo kunokuba lukholelwa ngaphambili.
5. Iingxoxo
Abantu bahlala bebhekisela kwiimfuno zabo "zendawo," eyona nto ibalulekileyo yokunxibelelana okungabonakaliyo. Ubungakanani bemida esiyidingayo kwaye isixa sendawo esiyibona njengabethu siyathonyelwa yimiba yezinto eziquka iinkqubo zentlalo, izinto ezilindelekileyo zenkcubeko, izimo zeemeko, iimpawu zobuntu kunye nenqanaba lolwazi. Ngokomzekelo, isixa somntu ofunekayo xa uxoxisana nomnye umntu ngokuqhelekileyo uhluka phakathi kweeyintshi ezili-18 ukuya kweenyawo ezine. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, umgama wobuqu ufunekayo xa uthetha kwisihlwele sabantu singama-10 ukuya kweenyawo ezili-12.
6. Ukujonga iJunu
Amehlo adlala indima ebalulekileyo ekunxibelelaneni okungabonakaliyo kwaye izinto ezifana nokukhangela, ukukhangela kunye nokukhenkcola zibalulekile ukuziphatha okungabonakali. Xa abantu badibana nabantu okanye izinto abazithandayo, izinga lokukhenkcela landa kwaye abafundi bahlaziya. Ukujonga omnye umntu unokubonisa uluhlu lweemvakalelo ezibandakanya ubundlobongela, umdla kunye nokukhanga.
Abantu baphinde basebenzise iliso lombono ukujonga ukuba umntu uthembekile. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuqhagamshelana kwamehlo kudla rhoqo kuthathwa njengophawu lokuba umntu uthetha inyaniso kwaye uthembekile. Amehlo anamahloni kunye nokungakwazi ukugcina ubuso bezilingo, ngakolunye uhlangothi, kubonakala kubonakala njengombala ukuba umntu ulala okanye ukhohlisa.
7. I-Haptics
Ukunxibelelana ngokusebenzisa umnxeba ngenye indlela ebalulekileyo yokungabonakali. Kuye kwaba nenani elikhulu lophando ngokubaluleka kokuthintela kwasebuntwaneni nakuselula . Uvavanyo lukaHarry Harlow lwama-classic monkey lubonise indlela yokuthintela ukuthintela kunye nokuthintana nokuthintela uphuhliso. Iimvana ezinyana eziphakanyiswe ngabafazi be-wire bafumana ukulahleka okusisigxina ekuphatheni nasekusebenzisaneni kwezentlalo. Ukuthintela kunokusetyenziswa ukuthetha uthando, ukuqonda, uvelwano kunye nezinye iimvakalelo .
Kwincwadi yakhe ye- Interpersonal Communication: Iintlanganiso Zemihla ngemihla , umbhali uJulia Wood ubhala ukuba umnxeba uphethwe rhoqo njengendlela yokunxibelelana zombini imeko kunye namandla. Abaphandi baye bafumanisa ukuba abantu abanezinga eliphezulu bavame ukuhlasela indawo yabanye abantu ngokuphindaphindiweyo kunye nobukhulu kunabantu abaphantsi. Ukwahlukana ngokwezesondo kudlala indima kwindlela abantu basebenzise ngayo umnxeba ukuthetha intsingiselo. Abasetyhini bavame ukusebenzisa i-touch ukuze badlulise iinkathalo, inkxalabo, kunye noqinisekiso. Amadoda, ngakolunye uhlangothi, banako ukusebenzisa umtya ukunika amandla okanye ukulawula abanye.
8. Ukubonakala
Ukukhetha kwethu umbala, izambatho, i-styles, kunye nezinye izinto ezichaphazelekayo zijongwa njengeendlela zokunxibelelana. Uphando ngeengqondo zemibala luye lwabonisa ukuba imibala eyahlukeneyo inokukhupha imiqondo eyahlukeneyo. Ukubonakala kunokuguqula ukuphendula komzimba, izigwebo kunye nokutolika. Cinga nje ngezo zonke izigwebo ezifihlakeleyo ozenza ngokukhawuleza malunga nomntu ngokusekeka kwakhe. Oku kubonakala okokuqala kubangelwa ukuba iingcali zibonisa ukuba abafuna umsebenzi bagqoke ngokufanelekileyo ukuba badliwano-ndlebe nabaqashi abangabakho.
Abaphandi baye bafumanisa ukuba ukubonakala kungabamba indima kwindlela abantu abaye bayayiqonda ngayo nokuba bafumana phi. Olunye uvavanyo luka-1996 lufumene ukuba amagqwetha anqatshelwe njengezona zikhangayo kunokuba oontanga zabo bafumana phantse i-15 ekhulwini kunezo zibalwa njengento engathandekiyo. Inkcubeko yimpembelelo ebalulekileyo kwindlela ukubonakala ngayo kugwetywa. Nangona ugcino lubonakala luxabiswa kwiinkcubeko zaseNtshona, ezinye iinkcubeko zaseAfrika zibhekiselele kwiimpawu ezizeleyo eziphathekayo kwimpilo engcono, ubutyebi kunye neemeko zentlalo.
9. Izinto zokusebenza
Izinto kunye nemifanekiso nazo zixhobo ezingasetyenziselwa ukuthetha ngokungabonwanga. Kwiforum ye-intanethi, umzekelo, ungakhetha i-avatar ukumela ubunikazi bakho kwi-intanethi kwaye udibanise ulwazi malunga nokuba ungubani kunye nezinto ozithandayo. Abantu badla ngokuchitha ixesha elide bahlakulela umfanekiso othile kwaye bazingqongileyo ngokwabo ngezinto ezilungiselelwe ukuhambisa ulwazi malunga nezinto ezibalulekileyo kubo. Imifomfom, umzekelo, ingasetyenziselwa ukudlulisela ubungakanani benkcazelo malunga nomntu. Ijoni liya kunceda, ukunikezelwa kwamapolisa kuya kunxiba iifomu, kwaye ugqirha uya kugqoka ingubo emhlophe yelabhu. Ngokujonga nje, ezi zifowuni zixelela abantu oko umntu akwenzayo ngokuphila.
ILizwi
Unxibelelwano olungabonakaliyo ludlala indima ebalulekileyo kwindlela esichazela ngayo intsingiselo kunye nolwazi kwabanye, kwakunye nendlela esichaza ngayo izenzo zalabo abasondeleyo. Into ebalulekileyo ukuba uyikhumbule xa ukhangelelanisa nokuziphatha okungabonakaliyo kukuqwalasela izenzo kwiqela. Oko umntu uthethi kunye kunye nembonakalo yakhe, ukubonakala kwayo kunye nezwi lezwi kunokukuxelela into eninzi malunga noko loo mntu uzama ukuthetha.
> Imithombo:
> Darwin, C. (1872). Inkcazo yeeMvakalelo kuMntu nakwezilwanyana , udidi lwesithathu. ENew York: i-Oxford University Press.
> Izinkuni, J. (2010). UNxibelelwano lwaBasebenzi: IiNtlanganiso zeSuku zonke . Boston, MA: iWadsworth-Cengage Learning.