Izindlela zokulawula uxinzelelo zingangena kwiindidi ezibini: ukujamelana neengxaki kunye nokukhuselana nokunyamekela imizwelo. Ukuthetha ngokuthe ngqo, izicwangciso ezijongene neengxaki (okanye ezijoliswe kwisisombululo ) zijolise ekupheliseni imithombo yoxinzelelo okanye zisebenze kunye nabaxinzeleleli ngokwabo, ngelixa iinjongo zokuxhomekeka ezinjenge- emotion zikunceda ukuba ungaphili kakuhle ngokomoya kwizityholo ezijongene nazo, okanye utshintshe indlela uziva ezi meko ukuze zichaphazele ngokuhlukileyo.
Abantu abaninzi becinga ngokucwangcisa izicwangciso zokujamelana neengxaki njengendlela engcono yokulawula uxinzelelo, njengokunciphisa izinto ezibonakala ngathi zisicinezela kuthetha ukuba akudingeki ukuba sifunde indlela yokuguqula iimpendulo zethu nakubani na uxinzelelo - kuya kuba akukho namnye oseleyo ebomini bethu! Nangona kunjalo, akunakwenzeka ngokupheleleyo ukunqumla uxinzelelo kubomi bethu - ezinye izinto kwimisebenzi yethu, ubudlelwane bethu, okanye iindlela zethu zokuphila zithandana nokudala iingxaki. Enyanisweni, akuyi kuba nempilo ngokupheleleyo ukuphelisa zonke iingcinezelo nokuba ngaba sinako; inani elithile loxinzelelo lucatshangelwa ukuba liphilile. ( Funda ngaphezulu kwi-eustress , uhlobo 'lophilileyo' loxinzelelo.)
Le nxalenye yeso sizathu sokuba kutheni ukunyamekela imvakalelo kunokuba luncedo kakhulu - ukuguqula indlela esinokujamelana ngayo nabaxinzelelekileyo kubomi bethu kunokunciphisa impembelelo yabo emibi. Xa sinobuchule obunomzwelo, asiyidingi ukulinda ubomi bethu ukuba batshintshe, okanye benze umsebenzi wokutshintsha okungenakukuphepheka - sinokufumana iindlela zokwamkela esijamelana nazo ngoku, kwaye singavumi ukusikhathaza.
Oku kunokunciphisa uxinzelelo olungapheliyo , njengoko lunikela umzimba ithuba lokuba abuyele kwizinto ezinokuthi zibe ngamanqanaba aphezulu kakhulu oxinzelelo.
Enye inzuzo ekumelana nokukhathazeka emoyeni kukuba kusenza sicinge ngokucacileyo kwaye sifumane izicombululo ezingenakufumaneka xa siziva sisindile. Ngenxa yokuba abantu abagxininisekanga abenzi ngaso sonke isigqibo izigqibo ezintle kakhulu, ukujamelana nokunyamekela imvakalelo kunokuba isicwangciso sokufikelela kwisimo sengqondo esilungileyo ngaphambi kokusebenza kwiinkqubo ezijoliswe ngxaki.
Ngaloo ndlela, ukunyamekela ukunyamekela imvakalelo kunokunceda ngeemvakalelo zombini kunye nezisombululo. Kwaye le mibini yezicwangciso zokuphatha zisebenza kakuhle ngale ndlela.
Nangona iinjongo ezijoliswe ngxaki zifuna ukulungelelaniswa kakuhle nabaxinzelelo abathile abajongene nazo, ukusetyenziswa kwamagcisa okuchukumisa imizwelo kusebenza kakuhle kunye noxinzelelo kunye nokufuna ukulungelelana neemfuno zomntu ngamnye ozisebenzisayo. Ukufumana izicwangciso zokulwa neendlela ezifanelekileyo zokujonga indlela yokuphila nobuntu bakho kunokukunika isilu esibalulekileyo ekuphumuleni kwengcinezelo kwaye kunokukunceda ukuba uphumelele kwimpilo emzimbeni nangokomzwelo. Amasu alandelayo asebenza kakuhle ngoxinzelelo lwazo zonke iintlobo:
Ukucamngca
Ukucamngca kunokukunceda ukuba uzihlule kwiingcamango zakho njengoko usabela kwixinzelelo, ngoko unokuma umele ukhethe impendulo kunokuba ushiye ukwesaba okanye ukwesaba. Ukucamngca kukukuvumela ukuba uphumule umzimba wakho, ongasenza uphendule kwakhona impendulo yakho yokunyamezela . Abo bazama ukucamngca ngendlela eqhubekayo badla ukuba bangasebenzi ngokukhawuleza, ukucamngca kufanelekile umzamo owenzela ukuwenza.
U kuhamba
Uhambo luvumela ukuba ulawulwe iimvakalelo ngeendlela ezininzi. Inokubonelela ngeemvakalelo zemiqobo; inokukunceda ukuba ucinge izixazululo zeengxaki ozijongene nazo; kunokukunceda ukuba uhlakulele iimvakalelo ezintle, ezinokukunceda uzive ukhululekile.
Ukuhanjelwa kwakhona kuzisa ezinye iinzuzo zokuphila kunye nokuphathwa koxinzelelo , okwenza kube lula ukukhwabanisa.
Ukurhoxisa
Ukuhlaziywa kwengcamango kukuvumela ukuba ushintshe indlela obona ngayo ingxaki, enokwenza ngokwenene umehluko phakathi nokuba ngaba ungaziva uxinzelelo ngokujongene nayo. Iindlela zokurhoxisa azikho 'ukuzikhohlisa ngenxa yokugxininiswa,' okanye ukuzenza ukuba ngabaxinzelelo bakho abakho; ukuhlaziya ngakumbi malunga nokubona izisombululo, iinzuzo kunye neembono ezintsha.
Ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo
Ukuqaphela indlela ingqondo engayitshintsha ngayo into esiyibonayo, into esiyithethayo ngayo ngezinto esizijongayo, kwaye iindlela esingazibandakanya ngazo kwiingxaki zethu zingasenza ukuba sitshintshe le patheni.
Qaphela ukuphazamiseka okuqhelekileyo, kwaye uya kukwazi ukuzibamba xa ukwenza oku, kwaye uya kukwazi ukuqonda nokuqonda xa abanye besenza njalo.
Ukucinga Okufanelekileyo
Ukuba nethemba kubandakanya iindlela ezithile zokubona iingxaki - iindlela zokukhulisa amandla akho kwimeko, kwaye ugcine unxibelelana neendlela ozikhethayo. Zomibini zezi zinto zinokunciphisa amava oxinzelelo, kwaye kukunceda uzive unikwe amandla kwiimeko ezinokuthi zikunciphise.