Iindlela zokuLawula uxinzelelo
Ngokusoloko sifunde ukuxinezeleka, ngakumbi xa kubonakala kungenakunqweneleka, ukuba sizifumene sisetyenziselwa iindlela zokulawula uxinzelelo. Ngethamsanqa, utshintsho oluncinci kwimbono kunye nendlela yokuphila lwenza ukubahluko omkhulu kwindlela esivakalelwa ngayo kwaye sisondele kwiingcinezelo esijamelana nazo. Ukuba nesicwangciso esicacileyo sokujamelana noxinzelelo kunokukunceda uzive unamandla xa ujongene neyona nto kwaye kukuvumela ukuba uthathe amanyathelo asebenzayo, uchithe uxinzelelo lwakho kwaye uzive ukhululekile kwaye uphumelele ebomini bakho.
Isibalulekileyo kukuba neengcamango zendlela yokuhlangabezana nazo iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zoxinzelelo, ukuxutyushwa kwexesha elifutshane lokuxinwa kwengcinezelo kukunceda uzive uxolo xa izinto zitshisa, kunye nemikhwa eqhubekayo ekunciphiseni uxinzelelo ngaphambi kokuba ikwazi ukuva nzima.
Indlela Yokufumana Uxinaniso Oluncinane Lokuxinwa Kwengcinezelo
Xa uziva ucinezelekile, kubalulekile ukuba ukwazi ukuhlaziya i-physiology yakho nokuguqula impendulo yakho yoxinzelelo . Oku kunokunceda ukuba uphumule ngokomzimba, ufumane ukunyamekela, kwaye uhlangabezane neengcinezelo zakho ngeendlela ezingaphezulu kwezinga eliphezulu kunokuba unakho ukufikelela ukuba uphakathi kokuxinzezeleka kwengxaki.
Imisebenzi efana nokuzifumanisa ukuphefumula kungasebenza ngokukhawuleza nangokuphumelelayo ukubuyisela umqondo wokuzola, ngoko ungathatha amanyathelo ekulawuleni uxinzelelo ojongene nalo. Ezi zilandelayo zicetyiswa ukuxinwa kwexesha elifutshane:
- Bala ukuphefumula kwakho . Oku kunokuphinda kabini njengendlela yokucamngca mini kwaye isetyenziswe naphi na. Fumana indawo epholileyo yokuhlala (ukuba kunokwenzeka), phucula umzimba wakho, uphefumule ngesisu sakho ngelixa amahlombe akho aphumle. Bala "enye" njengoko uvula kwaye "ezimbini" njengoko uphumelela. Emva koko zibalo "ezintathu" kwi-inhalation yakho elandelayo, njalo njalo. Oku kunokukunceda ugxininise kumzuzu wamanje, ukuzisa iingcinga zakho ngaphakathi, uphucule umzimba wakho ngexesha elifanayo.
- Yenza uludwe . Ngokukodwa, dwelisa izinto onokubulela ngazo. Abo bavakalelwa kukuba banconywa banokuziva becinezelekile ngokubanzi. Ngokutshintshelwa ingqalelo kwizinto ezikukhathazayo okwangoku, unokunciphisa ukuvakalelwa kwaye uzikhumbuze ngezibonelelo onokuzilawula uxinzelelo ebomini bakho.
- Thatha uhambo. Ngokuthatha ngokukhawuleza ukuhamba, ungazibeka utshintsho lweendawo kunye nokuzivocavocazana ngexesha elifanayo. Ukufumana umzimba wakho ukuhamba nokutshintshisa ingqalelo yakho kunokukunceda ngokukhawuleza kwintliziyo kwaye unike ithuba lokungena kwisakhelo esitsha sengqondo. Zomibini zezi zinto zinokukunceda uncede uzive uncinci.
Kukho ezinye iindlela ezininzi zokuziva ungagxininiswe ngaphantsi kwexesha elifutshane. Ngamanye kwezi zicwangciso zinokukunceda xa ufuna uncedo, kodwa uvavanyo luya kukuxelela okuza kukunceda kakhulu.
Ukuphuhlisa imimiselo yokuxinwa kwexesha elide
Imikhwa ethile iyakhuthaza ukuzinza kwengcinezelo, kunye nokwandisa impilo yonke.
Ngokomzekelo, abo basebenzisa okanye bacamngce rhoqo bavame ukunyanzeliswa phantsi kobunzima.
Kubalulekile ukuba uyenze ubuncinane omnye wemikhwa yobomi bakho bemihla ngemihla njengendlela yokulawula impendulo yakho kwizityholo ozijongene nazo. Ezi zenzo zokukhuthaza ukukhuthazwa akunakunceda nje ekunciphiseni uxinzelelo njengoko uzibandakanya kuzo, kodwa zinokukunceda ukuba ungasebenzi kangako ukunyanzelisa ukuba udibana nemisebenzi yakho yexesha elizayo nobomi bemihla ngemihla.
- Ukucamngca: Abo bazama ukucamngca kanye okanye kabini banokuziva bengagxininisekanga emininzi. Nangona kunjalo, abo baqhelisela ukucamngca rhoqo bangakha ukuzinza kokuxinezeleka, oku kunceda ngakumbi kwixesha elide. Ukucamngca kukhulisa indlela ovakalelwa ngayo, utshintshe ukugxininisa kwimiqobo, kwaye kudala ezinye iinguqu kuwe ekuncedeni ukuba ungasebenzi kakuhle. Ukwenza rhoqo kwenza ukuba kucamngca kulula ukubandakanyeka xa uziva ukhululekile, okwenza kube yimpumelelo xa ufuna.
- Ukuzivocavoca: Uyazi ukuba umzimba ulungele umzimba wakho, kodwa unakho ukulibala ukuba umzimba uphelele kwimilinganiselo yakho yokuxinezeleka. Ukuzivocavoca rhoqo kukukwenza ube ngumsebenzi ongaphantsi koxinzelelo kunye nokunikezela ngekhono eluncedo ukuqwalasela ingqwalasela yakho, vumela ukukhungatheka kwakho, kunye nokudibanisa nabanye (nithi, ukuba ujoyine iklasi okanye ucele umhlobo wokufunda).
- Ukuzinyamekela: Ukunyamekela umzimba wakho kubaluleke ngakumbi kunokuba ungayiqonda. Ukusebenzisa ukuzinyamekela ngendlela yokulala ngokwaneleyo, ukutya ukutya okunempilo, nokuhlala kude nezinto ezingafanelekanga (njengotywala kakhulu) kunokukunceda uhlale uphilile kwaye ujabule. Awukwazi ukuqaphela ukuba ukungabikho kokulala kunokunciphisa uxinzelelo, kodwa kunjalo. Awunakuqonda ukuba yonke into ibonakala iyicinezelekile xa udla ukutya okunzima kakhulu kwishukela kwaye ayinalo ukutya okwaneleyo, kodwa umzimba wakho uya kulufumana oku nokuba ungayifumananga nangoko. Ukunyamekela umzimba wakho, kwaye ubone ukuba ungaphantsi koxinzelelo.
Ngokugcina imikhuba emide eyakha ukwakha uxolo, unako-ngendlela-yokunciphisa uxinzelelo ngaphambi kokuba ufumane. Akunakukwazi ukuthatha ngaphezulu komkhwa omnye ngexesha, kodwa kulungile. Unako ukongeza ngaphezulu njengoko uzive unako, ngoko ke khetha nje umkhwa omtsha kwaye uyakhe ebomini bakho. Emva koko zama enye uze ubone indlela ovakalelwa ngayo.
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Amacandelo okudala ubomi obulungeleleneyo
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Ngaba abo Baxhamli be-Fidget Ngaba Banceda Abantwana Bethu?
Yazi Indlela Yokuzibandakanya Ukuvakalelwa-Ukugxininiswa Ukujongana Neengxaki
Ukugxininisa ekusebenziseni iindlela zokunciphisa amava akho xa ujongene noxinzelelo kunokukunceda ukuba ungabi ncinane "obangelwa" ngamava amanzima obhekana nawo.
Ukuxhatshazwa kwengqondo kusebenza kakuhle ngokunciphisa uxinzelelo ozivelayo malunga nokuba kwenzekani ebomini bakho (kunokuba ungene ngqo ngqo nemiba enzima), kodwa kunokukunceda ukuba uphendule ngokuthe ngcembe kwiimeko ezixinzelelekileyo ngokuchanekileyo ngenxa yokuba ungazixinzelelekanga ngokomzwelo ; ungaba nokufikelela kwisisombululo esiphumelele ngakumbi xa uhlala uzinzile kwaye unganqanaba elijongene noxinzelelo lwakho. Ngaloo ndlela, izicwangciso zokuxhunywa kweemvakalelo zengqondo zikunceda ukuba ukwazi ukujamelana neengcinezelo eziqhelekileyo ozijongene nazo kwaye udibanise ngqo indlela ozivakalelwa ngayo xa wenza njalo.
Ezi zilandelayo zizinto ezijoliswe kumzwelo ongazama ngazo.
- Ukuhamba: Bhala kwiphephancwadi malunga neemvakalelo ezintle ozijongayo njengendlela yokuzicwangcisa kwaye uzivumele zihambe. Bhala ngeemvakalelo ezintle njengendlela yokutshintsha ingqalelo yakho. Bhala malunga nawe onombulelo kwaye awuyi kuziva ulunge ngexesha langoku, kodwa uya kuba nerekhodi yezinto eziza kukunika ingqondo engcono ngexesha elizayo xa ufuna.
- Ukuthetha Nomhlobo: Ngamanye amaxesha ukuthetha izinto kunye nokuva inkxaso yentlalo yinto yonke kufuneka uziva ungacinezelekanga. (Qiniseka ukuba udibana nomhlobo onika uhlobo olufanelekileyo lokuxhaswa ngokomzwelo .)
- Ukusebenzisa Ukucamngca Ngomusa Wothando : Oku kunokukunceda uzive unxulumene nabanye kwaye ungene kwisimo esihle sengqondo.
Musa ukulibala I-Solutions-Focused Coping
Akumangalisi ukuba iindlela zokujamelana neengxaki zijoliswe ngokusombulula indlela yokujamelana noxinzelelo ngokugxila kwizisombululo kwiingxaki ezibangele uxinzelelo kwindawo yokuqala. Ukudala imida ebomini bakho kuyisicwangciso esilungelelaniso sokwenza isisombululo ekuncedeni ukunciphisa uxinzelelo olujongene nalo.
Ukujongana neengxaki ezijongene nokucinezela ngokukhawuleza kunye nokunyanisekileyo kukunceda ukulawula uxinzelelo lwengqondo ngokunciphisa imingeni ojamelana nayo. Ukujamelana nokucwangciswa kwezisombululo kudla ngokufuna indlela ekhethekileyo ngakumbi kunokuba ukuxhatshazwa kwengqondo, kuxhomekeke kwiingxaki ozizama ukujongana nazo.
- Amacandelo okujoliswa kweSombululo ekujonganeni neengcinezelo
ILizwi
Ukuxinwa kokuxhomekeka kwimeko ehambelana nento ebalulekileyo. Ukwenza utshintsho isinyathelo esincinci ngexesha elithile kunokukhokelela ekuguquleni impilo. Enye yezindlela ezifanelekileyo kakhulu zokujamelana nokunyamezela ngokuqhubekayo kukufumana ukuhamba okulula kwamanyathelo angakunceda ukuba ube neengxaki zokuphila ezincinci kunye nesimo sengqondo esiphezulu.
> Umthombo:
> Lehrer, Paul; Woolfolk, uRobert; USime, uWesley. Iimigaqo kunye nokuSebenza koLawulo lwexinzelelo, ukuHlaziya kweThathu. ENew York, eNew York: I-Guilford Press.