Indlela yokwenza ukwamkelwa kwemvakalelo ukufumana impilo engcono yempilo
Ukuvunywa kokwamkelwa kwemvakalelo yindlela enye yokukunceda ufunde ngakumbi kunye nokwamkela iimvakalelo zakho. Abantu abaninzi abaneengxaki zomntu ongekho emngceleni (BPD) kunye nezinye iingxaki ezibandakanya amava amaninzi ayenomdla wokwenqaba imvakalelo yabo embi okanye engalunganga. Ngelishwa, oku kungakhokelela ekuziphatheni ezinobungozi, ezifana nokuzilimaza ngamabomu .
Unokufunda njani ukufumana iimvakalelo ? Lo mzekelo ufundisa ukuba ubone imvakalelo yakho kumgama omncinane. Oku kwahluke kunokuhlukana (oku kuquka ukupheliswa ngokupheleleyo kwiimvakalelo zakho) okanye ukunyanzelisa ngokomzwelo . Endaweni yoko, lo msebenzi ukhuthaza ukucinga , okanye ukwazi ukubona imvakalelo yinto ngaphandle kokugweba okanye ukuzama ukuwususa.
Ukusebenza kulandelwa kwincwadi yokufunda eyenziwa nguDkt. Steven Hayes kwiYunivesithi yaseNevada eReno ebizwa ngokuthi "Phuma eMqondweni Wakho Nobomi Bakho." Incwadi yincwadi isingeniso esilungileyo kwindlela yokwelapha ebizwa ngokuba yi-Acceptance and Deitment Therapy, oye waboniswa ukuba aphathe kakuhle iintlobo zeengxaki zengqondo . Incwadi yomsebenzi ifanelekile ukufunda ukuba unomdla ekufundeni ngakumbi malunga nokwamkela iimvakalelo zakho.
Ukuzivocavoca ngokomzwelo: Ukuqwalasela iimvakalelo zakho
Lo msebenzi ungenziwa xa unomvakalelo ongenakukhathazeka.
Ukuba uqala nje ukwenza lo msebenzi, kukulungele ukukhetha imvakalelo engenamandla kakhulu.
Khetha ixesha xa unemvakalelo eyomeleleyo ngokwaneleyo ukuba uqaphele ukuba unayo, kodwa ayinamandla kangangokuthi uvakalelwa kukuba. Emva kokuba usebenze ngalo msebenzi, unokufuna ukuzama ngeemvakalelo ezinamandla.
Inyathelo lokuqala: Ukuchonga uMvakalelo
Isinyathelo sokuqala kukuchonga imvakalelo onayo. Ukuba unemvakalelo engaphezu kweyodwa, khetha nje enye (ungabuya uze wenze lo msebenzi kunye nezinye iimvakalelo kamva ukuba ufuna).
Ukuba unenkathazo ekuchazeni imvakalelo , hlala umzuzwana uze uqaphele ukuvakalelwa kwakho kunye nemicabango. Khangela ukuba unako ukunika imvakalelo enokuba negama (umzekelo, ukudakumba, umsindo, ihlazo).
Emva kokuba unegama lomzwelo, bhala phantsi kwiphepha lephepha.
Inyathelo lesibini: Ukufumana indawo ethile
Ngoku ukuba ufumene imvakalelo, vala amehlo akho (ukuba uziva ukhuselekile ukwenza) kwaye ucinge ukubeka loo mvakalelo inyawo ezintlanu phambi kwakho. Cinga ukuba nje imizuzu embalwa uza kubeka ngaphandle kwakho ukuze ukhangele.
Kamva uya kuwubuyisela, kodwa ngoku, uya kuzivumela umgama omncinane ukuze ugcine umva .
Inyathelo lesithathu: Yenza Isimo ifomu
Ngoku ukuba umvakalelo uphambi kwakho, vala amehlo akho uphendule le mibuzo elandelayo: Ukuba uvakalelo lwakho lunebukhulu, yintoni ubungakanani obuya kubakho? Ukuba imvakalelo yakho yayinebunjwa, ingaba yintoni imbobo? Ukuba umvakalelo wakho unemibala, yintoni umbala oya kuba nawo?
Emva kokuba uphendule le mibuzo, cinga imvakalelo phambi kwakho ngobukhulu, imilo kunye nombala owawunike wona. Khawujonge nje ixesha elifutshane kwaye uqaphele oko kukuthi. Xa ulungele, unokuvumela ukuba imvakalelo ibuyele kwindawo yayo yasekuqaleni ngaphakathi kwakho.
Emva kokuzivocavoca: Cinga
Emva kokuba usugqibile lo msebenzi, khawula uthathe isikhashana ukucamngca oko wakuphawula malunga namava akho. Ngaba ubonile nayiphi na utshintsho kwimvakalelo xa unomgama omncinane kuwo? Kuthiwani ngenguqu kwiimpendulo zakho kwiimvakalelo? Ubunjani ubungakanani, imilo kunye nombala owawunika umvakalelo? Ingaba imvakalelo yahluke ngandlela-thile xa umsebenzi uphelile?
Ziqhelise lo msebenzi nje ngosuku ngosuku. Ngeke kuthathe ixesha elide kumhla wakho, ngoko akusilo utyalo-mali omkhulu. Emva kwenyanga, qaphela ukuba uyaphawula nayiphi na inguqu kwindlela ohambelana ngayo neemvakalelo zakho. Lo msebenzi ungabonakala ungaqondakali okokuqala, kodwa abantu abaninzi bayaqaphela ukuba kubancedisa ukuba baqale ukucinga ngokungafaniyo kunye nokwamkela, iimvakalelo zabo .
Umthombo:
Hayes SC. Phuma Kwengqondo Yakho Nokwenza Ubomi Bakho: Ulwalamano olutsha kunye nokuzibophelela . 1st ed. INew Harbinger Publications, 2005.