Ngenxa yobomi kunye nobuntwana, abantu abane-BPD balwa nemvakalelo
Abantu abaninzi abaneengxaki zomntu ongekho emngceleni (BPD) bazama ukuqonda iimvakalelo. Oku akumangalisi; Ukukwazi ukuqonda iimvakalelo zakho kucatshangelwa ukuba yinto ebalulekileyo yomgaqo- miselo , kwaye abaphandi abaninzi bacinga ukuba i-BPD ibe yintlupheko yesimiso somzwelo. Enyanisweni, ezinye iingcali zicebise ukuba zitshintshe igama elithi BPD "Ukukhathazeka kweDisregulation Disorder".
Ukungabi nako ukukwazi ukubona iimvakalelo kunokuba nemiphumo ebalulekileyo ekusebenzisaneni kwezentlalo kunye nolwalamano.
Kutheni Abakwazi Ukufumana Abantu abane-BPD Ukuchonga Iimvakalelo?
Nangona izazinzulu zingenayo ingqiqo malunga nokuba kutheni abantu abaninzi abane-BPD banenkathazo ekuboneni iimvakalelo, baye baxubusha izizathu ezinokubangela. Okokuqala, i-BPD ixhamla ngokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana, njengokuxhashazwa kwabantwana okanye ukunganyaniseki. Ukukwazi ukujonga iimvakalelo yinto esiyihlakulela ngayo ebusweni ebomini kunye nabanakekeli bethu banendima ebalulekileyo ekuncedeni ukuba sifunde into esivakalelwa ngayo.
Abantwana abanomnxeba okanye abanyanzelisayo banokuphosolwa kwesi sifundo. Esikhundleni sokufunda oko bavakalelwa kukuba, abantwana abangenalo ingxaki banokufunda ukwesaba iimvakalelo zabo ngenxa yokuba iimvakalelo zengqondo zingabangela ukusetyenziswa kakubi okanye ukuba iimvakalelo zabo azikhathazeki ngenxa yokuba abazithobeli abazali abanganandaba.
Nangona kunjalo, abantu abaninzi abane-BPD abazange baphathwe kakubi njengabantwana.
Kutheni banokuba neengxaki zokubonakalisa iimvakalelo? Kungenzeka ukuba abanye abantu abane-BPD bahlonyelwe ukuba babe neempendulo ezinzulu kakhulu.
Kule meko, abanonophelo bangenenkathazo yokuncedisa umntwana wabo ukuba aziqonde iimvakalelo zabo kuba iimpendulo zibonakala zinzulu. Oku kungakhokelela nokuphuhliswa kwendawo engabonakaliyo ngokomzwelo, njengokuba abazali bezama ukuqonda iimvakalelo ezibonakala zingekho kumcimbi oshukumisayo.
Kutheni Kubalulekile Ukuba Ukwazi Ukuqonda Iimvakalelo?
Iimvakalelo zibaluleke kakhulu ekusebenzeni kwethu kwansuku zonke kuba zinceda ekukhokeleni izigqibo zethu, sincedise ukudibanisa nabanye abantu size sihlale singekho kwingozi.
Ngokomzekelo, cinga ukuba awukwazanga ukufumanisa imvakalelo "yokwesaba." Ngaphandle kokukwazi ukubonakalisa ukwesaba, ungasifumana kwiimeko eziyingozi. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba unokwenza uloyiko lwakho, unako ukuhlala kude nabantu okanye izinto ezinokukulimaza. Uloyiko, ngelixa ngamanye amavakalelo angamangalisi, kubaluleke kakhulu ekuhlaleni.
Esinye isizathu kubalulekile ukuba sikwazi ukubona iimvakalelo kukuba xa singenakukwazi ukuqonda iimvakalelo zethu, sihlala siphela ngamava angenakucacisa, adidekayo ngaphakathi kuthiwa abanye bathi "iimvakalelo ezidaka." Abanye abantu abanenkathazo yokuqonda iimvakalelo zabo baya kuthetha izinto ezinje, "Ndiyichukumisa nje!" Kunzima gqitha ukuvakalelwa, kodwa mhlawumbi yinto edibeneyo eyenziwa ngumxube wokudideka kwemizwa. Kukhululekile ngakumbi ukukwazi ukubona iimvakalelo ezinjengekho "Ndiziva ndibuhlungu, ndinkwantya, ndineentloni" kunokuba ndibe nemvakalelo emdaka.
Ndingayifunda Njani Ukuchonga Iimvakalelo?
Ukuba unenkathazo ekuchazeni iimvakalelo, kukho iindaba ezilungileyo.
Nangona ungenalo ithuba lokufunda olu buchule njengomntwana, akukaze kufike emva kokufunda ukufumanisa oko uvakalelwa.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, olu buchule lusetyenziswa ngokubanzi-njengabantwana, sifunda ukwenza oku ngaphaya kwexesha leminyaka, baninzi ukulingwa iintsuku nganye. Unokufunda oku njengomntu osemtsha okanye umntu omdala, kodwa ulindele ukuqhuba imihla ngemihla ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukubona utshintsho ekukwazi kwakho ukubona iimvakalelo.
Ingcali ejongene nokukhathazeka komntu ongenamdaka ingakunceda ukuba ukhulise izakhono zemivo kwaye unika amandla ekufumaneni iimvakalelo ngokufanelekileyo. Oku kunokuba nempembelelo ebalulekileyo kwindlela othetha ngayo nabanye.
Imithombo:
Hayes SC. Phuma Kwengqondo Yakho Nokwenza Ubomi Bakho: Ulwalamano olutsha kunye nokuzibophelela . 1st ed. New Harbinger Publications; 2005.
Linehan MM. IsiCwangciso soQeqesho soLwazi lweZakhono zokuPhatha iNgxaki yoLuntu lweMida . 1st ed. I-Press Guilford; 1993.
Roemer L, Orsillo SM. UkuCamngca- kunye nokuThatyathwa kwemiSebenzi yokuSebenza ngokuSebenza . 1st ed. Guilford Press; 2008.