Abantu abaninzi abaneengxaki zomntu ongekho emngceleni (BPD) , kunye nezinye iingxaki zengqondo ezibandakanya amava amaninzi ayenomvakalelo unengxaki yokwamkela iimvakalelo. Kunzima kakhulu ukujongana neemvakalelo ezibuhlungu, ngokugqithiseleyo kwaye ngamanye amaxesha zisoyika; Nangona kunjalo, ukwamkela iimvakalelo zakho kunokunceda ukuphucula umgaqo wakho womzwelo kwaye kukhokelela ekungenikeni kwemiba embalwa kunye nokulinganisela komzwelo.
Yintoni Ukwamkela Ngokomoya?
Ngokuqhelekileyo, xa sinesivakalelo esingenakukhathazeka, njengentlungu, ukwesaba okanye ihlazo , ukuphendula kwethu okokuqala kukugatya loo mvakalelo. Singazixelela ngathi ukuvakalelwa kukuba yinto engafanelekanga. Emva koko singenza into ukuze sizame ukulahla ukuvakalelwa, njengokuba uzama ukushenxisa okanye usebenzise iziyobisi okanye utywala ukuze uzive ungcono.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, akukho mntu ufuna ukuhamba ngeentlungu zentlungu ngexesha lonke, kodwa xa sichasa iimvakalelo zethu , sinokwenza izinto zibe zibi nakakhulu. Ngokuqhelekileyo iimvakalelo zivela ngenxa yokuba zisinika ulwazi oluncedo malunga nehlabathi, ngoko ngamanye amaxesha ukulahla okanye ukugxotha ingqondo ayiyona nto ingcono.
Enye indlela yokugxotha okanye ukugxotha iimvakalelo zakho ukufunda ukuvuma amava akho. Ukwamkela kuthetha ukuba uyenzela ukuvumela iimvakalelo zakho ukuba zibe zizinto ngaphandle kokugweba okanye ukuzama ukutshintsha.
Ukwamkela kuthetha ukuvumela ukuhamba kwemizamo yokulawula iimvakalelo zakho nokufunda ukuba iimvakalelo azikwazi ukukulimaza, nangona izinto ozenzileyo ukuzama ukulahlekisa iimvakalelo, ezifana nokusetyenziswa kakubi kotywala , kunokukulimaza.
Ukwamkela iimvakalelo Awuzixhamli kwiintlungu
Kubalulekile ukwenza ukwahlula phakathi kokuvuma nokuyeka.
Ukwamkela iimvakalelo akuthethi ukuba uzinikezele ukuba uhlale uziva unxunguphalo okanye utyhafile. Kwakhona akuthethi ukuba ubambelele kwiimvakalelo ezibuhlungu okanye uzama ukuzitshozela ukuba ube neentlungu zentlungu. Ukwamkelwa kuthetha ukuqonda ukuvakalelwa kwakho kunye nokuwamkela oko bakuyo ngoku, beyazi ukuba abayi kuhlala.
Njengesifuziselo sokwamkela, cinga ukuba ulijoni elilwe imfazwe elide kunye neemvakalelo zakho. Ukwamkela kuyisenzo sokubeka phantsi izixhobo zakho nokuhamba kude nemfazwe. Awuzihlaziyi ukuba utyatywe ngumsindo wakho; uvumela nje ukuhamba umzabalazo.
Ngandlela-thile, ukwamkela iimvakalelo kuthetha nokwamkela ukuba iimvakalelo ziya kutshintsha. Xa sivuyayo, simele sivume ukuba yimeko emfutshane; asiyi kuhlala sivuya. Oku kuya kuzo zonke iintlobo zemizwelo, ukusuka kwesoyiko ukuya ekuxhalabeni kuya kukudabuka. Iimvakalelo zihamba ngokukhawuleza kwaye zidla ngokuhamba ngemizuzwana, imizuzu okanye iiyure.
Kutheni abantu Abantu abane-BPD banenkinga yokuzamkela iimvakalelo?
Kukho izizathu ezimbalwa ezenza abantu abane-BPD, ngokukodwa, banenkathazo yokwamkela iimvakalelo, nangona kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba wonke umntu unenkathazo yokwamkela iimvakalelo ngamanye amaxesha.
Okokuqala, abantu abane-BPD bavame ukuphakanyiswa kwimihlaba engavumelekanga . Le ndawo yindawo apho iimvakalelo ezingamkelekanga. Ngamanye amaxesha abantu abane-BPD bahlwayelwa ngokuvakalisa iimvakalelo, okanye ngamanye amaxesha baxelelwa ukuba babuthathaka ngenxa yokuba neemvakalelo. Oku kunokukhokelela umntu kunye ne- BPD ukuba abe neengxaki zokuvuma iimvakalelo zabo kwimpilo yabantu abadala.
Okwesibini, abantu abane-BPD banemiva enzulu kakhulu kwaye oku kubenza kube nzima ukuwamkela. Abantu abane-BPD baya kudla ukuchaza ukuba banentswelo yokuba imizwa yabo "iya kuphazamisa" okanye "iyitshabalalise". Ngenxa yoko, abantu abaninzi abane-BPD bazive bexhala kakhulu imizwa yabo kwaye bayaqiniseka ukuba abanakuze banyamezele iimvakalelo zabo.
Kutheni Ukwamkela Iimvakalelo Kunceda
Kutheni ukwamkela iimvakalelo zakho kunceda? Yiyiphi ingongoma yokuzama ukuwamkela iimvakalelo zakho, kwaye bekungeke kube lula ukuba uzilahle nje? Ewe, hayi, akulula ukuqeda imvakalelo. Enyanisweni, abaninzi abantu abaneBPD baye bazama ukulahla iimvakalelo zabo ngenempumelelo encinane. Oko bakufundileyo, kwaye yintoni uphando oluxhasayo, kukuba kunzima kakhulu, ukuba akunakwenzeka, ukuba siphumelele imvakalelo.
Sineemvakalelo ngesizathu, ngoko akufanele ufune ukubalahla ngokupheleleyo. Iimvakalelo ziyinxalenye yenkqubo eyinkxalabo esinceda senze isigqibo sokuba yintoni esimele sihlale nayo kunye noko sifanele sisondele kuyo. Iimvakalelo zisinceda sihlale sinobudlelwane obuhlala kunye nabanye abantu. Ngaphandle kwemvakalelo, senza izigqibo ezimbi ngaso sonke ixesha. Ngoko ke, ukwamukela iimvakalelo kunceda, kuba xa siphulaphula iimvakalelo zethu, sinokufunda ulwazi olubalulekileyo.
Indlela Yokuzibandakanya Ukwamkela iimvakalelo
Akulula ukufunda indlela yokwamkela iimvakalelo kuba kaninzi abaziva bezintle kwaye sinesidima esingasitshela ukuba siwaphephe. Nangomsebenzi oqhubekayo, nangona kunjalo, unokufunda indlela yokwamkela iimvakalelo zakho. Ukucamngca ngengqiqo , okanye ukuqonda ngokubakho amava akho angaphakathi nangaphandle, kunokuba luncedo kakhulu njengoko ufunda indlela yokwamkela iimvakalelo zakho. Nazi ezinye iindlela zokuzama ukuzama:
Imithombo:
Hayes SC. Phuma Kwengqondo Yakho Nokwenza Ubomi Bakho: Ulwalamano olutsha kunye nokuzibophelela . 1st ed. New Harbinger Publications; 2005.
Linehan MM. IsiCwangciso soQeqesho soLwazi lweZakhono zokuPhatha iNgxaki yoLuntu lweMida . 1st ed. I-Press Guilford; 1993.
Roemer L, Orsillo SM. UkuCamngca- kunye nokuThatyathwa kwemiSebenzi yokuSebenza ngokuSebenza . 1st ed. Guilford Press; 2008.