Ukuthatha ixesha lokuthatha ixesha kunokunceda njani abantu abaneengxaki zomntu ongapheliyo
Xa unesifo sengqondo somda we- borderline (BPD), unokwenza uxhaphaze ngakumbi kwimpikiswano kwaye ubandezeleke kaninzi kunabanye abantu. Xa umntu ephosakele okanye kukho ukungaqondani, uya kuziva iimpembelelo kunye nokuthanda kwakho kuqala ukuhlangabezana naloo mntu ngokukhawuleza ukuyisebenzisa. Nangona le nto isabela ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuthatha isinyathelo emva kwaye uthathe ikhefu kwi-confrontation kunokukunceda ubone imeko ngokucacileyo kwaye usebenzise izakhono zakho zokunxibelelana kakuhle.
Ngokufunda olu buchule, unako ukulawula ubudlelwane nabanye ngokusebenza kunye nokuphilisa.
Ukuba unayo i-BPD, ubomi bubumnyama kakhulu nomhlophe; Kunzima ukubona umgangatho ophakathi kwimpikiswano. Bonke ubudlelwane buya kuba buhlungu kwaye bube neengxaki zabo, kodwa xa unayo i-BPD, le micimbi inokubangela iingxoxo eziphazamisayo kunye nokugqithisa okunokuba nzima ukuphilisa okanye ukuphucula. Kuqhelekile ukuba ubudlelwane bubonakaliswe kakhulu kulezi ziqendu.
Indlela yokuphucula ukujongana
Kubalulekile ukucinga kwakhona indlela ojongene ngayo neengxaki ezinzulu ukuze ulondoloze ubudlelwane bakho kunye nodumo lwakho. Nazi ezinye iimbono zokukunceda ukuba utshintshe indlela ojongene ngayo xa kukho into eyenzekayo kuwe:
- Lindela iimvakalelo ukuba zidlule: Ngelixa unokuba ufuna ukuthetha nomhlobo wakho okanye osebenza naye owenza kakubi ngokukhawuleza, ukuthetha nabo ngoxa udidekile okanye unomsindo ayikho into efanelekileyo. Oku kunokukwenza ukuba uthethe kakubi okanye uthethe izinto ongazithethiyo. Le meko iya kuphela ngokugqithiseleyo ngeemvakalelo ezibuhlungu kumacala omabini. Kunoko, nyathela kude kwimeko kwaye uzinike ixesha lokucinga ngalo ngaphandle komnye umntu. Oku kuya kukunceda ubeke izinto ngendlela ebonakalayo kwaye uya kuba yingqondo egciniweyo xa ulungele ukuthetha.
- Ukuchonga imiba emikhulu : Ukuba ufumene umsindo ngenxa yento engenakulinganisela, sebenzisa ixesha lokuhamba ukuqonda ukuba yintoni umba wangempela. Ingaba kukho into eyenzekayo kwiinyanga ezidlulileyo ezingazange zenziwe? Okanye ukhona umntu onokukulimaza kwaye ulahla? Ukuseka oko kukubangela ukuvakalelwa kwakho kuya kukunceda ukuba uphathe le meko ngendlela efanelekileyo, ngaphandle kokungenisa imbali yakho kwimeko.
- Yiza ngesicwangciso: Ngaphambi kokuba ujike ekamelweni ukuthetha nomnye umntu, thabatha imizuzu embalwa ukubhala iimvakalelo zakho kunye neengcinga ezibalulekileyo ofuna ukuzithetha . Zama ukucinga ngombono womnye umntu kunye necala labo. Oku kuya kunceda ugxininise ingxoxo kwimibandela yangempela kunye nokukunceda ukuba ube nencoko yezinto ezivelisayo kunokuba uphumelele.
Ukuchasana akuze kumnandi, kodwa xa unesifo sengqondo somda, umva weentlungu okanye ukugatywa ungazivakalela, okwenza kubonakale kuyimfuneko ukuthatha inyathelo ngokukhawuleza. Kodwa ngokuthatha imizuzu engama-30 ukuba ube yedwa kunye neengcamango zakho, uya kuziva uzinzile kwaye unamandla, ulungele ukujongana nemiba endaweni yokudaka umsindo.