Ulwalamano lwentlalo lunokudala imingeni emininzi kumntu ngamnye. Ubunzima bokunyamekela abanye, ukulahlekelwa ngento ebalulekileyo yokuthetha nokuthetha, ukuphendula okanye ukuthetha izinto ezinokulimaza, ukukhathazeka, ukukhawuleza, ukunyamezela, ukukhumbuza, ukuxoxela, ukuxoxisana, ukunyaniseka, iingxaki ezilandelayo ngokuzibophelela- ezi ziminye yemiba eyenza ukuthandana nokugcina ubudlelwane obuhle kunzima kumntu onge-ADD.
Ukujongana nazo zonke le micimbi ngexesha elilodwa kunokuziva kunzima kakhulu, kodwa ukufumana iqabane elungileyo linyathelo elifanelekileyo lokuqala. Nangona i- ADD yokuziphatha engakufumana enkingeni ingeyakho ukujongana nokulawula, kunye neqabane elifanelekileyo, lo msebenzi uba lula kancinci. Ukunxibelelana okulungileyo nabanye kubaluleke kakhulu kwintlalo yethu. Xa ujikeleza nabantu abaxabayo kwaye bakuxabisa, ubomi buya kuzaliseka. Umntu obalulekileyo, ongeyena okanye onobuhlungu uya kuhlalisa. Umntu onesimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo nesimo sengqondo esithintekayo.
Ukuze ulwalamano luphumelele, kufuneka uhambelane nalo mntu. Ukuba ufuna ukugcina ubudlelwane phakathi kwexesha elide, kufuneka uphinde ubhekise iipateni ezimbi ezikufumene kwingxaki kwixesha elidlulileyo.
Ukufumana uMlingani Ofanelekileyo
Ukususela kumhla okanye ukungena kwakhona kwinkqubo yokuqhawula emva kokuqhawula umtshato kuya kuba yinto ebangelisayo kunye neyokuthabatha, kodwa inokuzaliswa nokungaqiniseki, ukuxhalaba nokukhishwa.
Uyazi njani ukuba lo mntu omtsha ungumdlalo omhle kuwe? Uyazi njani ukuba uluthando okanye nje uvuyo lomlingane omtsha? Xa uziva unobungozi kwaye unesithukuthezi malunga nomdlalo wokuthandana, uyazivulela njani ukuba ube neentlungu zentlungu kunye nentlungu?
Yenza Uludwe
Qala ngokuhlala phantsi endaweni ethule kwaye wenze uludwe lweempawu ozixabisa kwiqabane.
Emva kokuba uqikelele ngoluhlu, ubeka phambili phambili, kubaluleke kakhulu kubuncinci. Ngaba ukhangele umntu oza kunika umdla kunye nemisebenzi ephakamileyo, okanye ukhetha umntu osisigxina kunye onqamlezileyo ukuba ulinganise izinga lakho lamandla? Ngaba kubalulekile kuwe ukuba lo mntu uxhuma kunye namalungu entsapho? Ziziphi iimpawu ofuna ukuba lo mntu abe nazo? Ziziphi izinto ezinomdla?
Ziziphi iinjongo zobudlelwane bakho? Ngaba ufuna ubuhlobo obumnandi kunye obuhle, okanye ufuna ubuhlobo besikhathi eside kunye neqabane lomntu?
Ukuba ngoku udlala nomntu, yenza uluhlu lweempawu ozithandayo malunga nalo mntu. Yintoni eyakhangayo ekuqaleni kulo mntu? Ngaba kukho izinto malunga nale mntu ekukhathazayo? Ngaba uyayamkela le mpawu, okanye uvakalelwa ukuba ulwalamano oluqhubekayo, unokuba unyanzelekile ukuwamkela? Ukuba lo mntu u-ADD, ngaba bathatha inxaxheba kwonyango kunye nokufumana uncedo ekulawuleni iimpawu zabo ze-ADD? Uvakalelwa njani malunga nomntu - unoyolo kwaye ukhululekile okanye ungakhuselekanga kwaye kunoko? Ngaba ungaba wena malunga nomntu? Ukuba ukhangele iqabane lobomi, ngaba lo mntu ufuna ukuchitha ubomi bakho bonke?
Faka isicelo soMhlobo othembekileyo
Ngamanye amaxesha kunceda ukuhlala phantsi nomhlobo othembekileyo kunye nenkxaso okanye ilungu lentsapho ukukunceda ucinge ngale nkqubo. Akuyinto engavamile kumntu onomntu oya ku-ADD ukuba apheliswe ngamandla kunye nolwalamano olutsha ukuba yonke ingcamango yinjongo ikhupha umnyango. Xa ulungile phakathi kwimeko, ingqiqo yakho inokuthi ifumaneke. Ungaphinda ulahleke izinto ezibalulekileyo okanye iimpawu ezilumkiso malunga nolwalamano lwangaphandle, onomdla wakho entliziyweni, unokukwazi ukukubonisa.
Ukuphonononga Ubudlelwane bakho beMbali
Cinga ngobudlelwane bakho obudlulileyo, bobabini ababi kunye neziphumo ezilungileyo.
Ziziphi iipateni ezikhoyo? Ngaba uhlala usebenza ngokugcwele kwiinkalo ezixhamla xa ixhamlo lexesha le "honeymoon" lifa? Ngaba unemodeli yokukhetha iqabane elingalunganga, kuba awufumani yonke imixholo yoluntu kunye nemiqondiso yezilumkiso abanye abangayibona kwasekuqaleni? Ingaba unzima ukukhupha nokuxhuma ngokukhawuleza? Ingaba impembelelo yakho okanye ukungalindelekanga kulwalamano kukufumana ingxaki kwaye uphoxe iqabane lakho? Ngaba ugqiba ukuxhatshaza ubudlelwane, obangela ukuxabana okanye iingxabano? Ngaba uhlala uhlala kunye nobudlelwane obubi nje ukuba uthe umntu uya kutshintsha?
Ukuphuhlisa iindlela ezifanelekileyo
Emva kokuba sele ufumene iingxaki zobudlelwane obudlulileyo, sebenzela ukuza neziphakamiso. Iindawo ezihlala zilukhuni kunabo bonke abantu abane-ADD banamathele ekuhlaleni ukuzithiba-ukungahambi kakuhle kunye nokungalindelekanga ngaphakathi kobudlelwane obuya kubonwa ngumlingane njengokuba ungakhathazeki, iingxaki ekulawuleni iimvakalelo kunye nokuziphatha okuphazamisayo okubangakho ukulimaza okanye iimvakalelo ezinomsindo. Iimithi zihlala zisebenza kakuhle ekunciphiseni ubunzima beempawu. Ukongezelela, izicwangciso, ezifana nokuzithetha, ukudlala indima kunye nokusebenzisana okulungileyo, ukuqonda ngakumbi iziganeko zengqondo kunye nokuthatha ixesha ukukhupha i-decompress, njl njl, kunokunceda ekwakheni nasekulondolozeni ubudlelwane obuhle.
Imfundo malunga ne-ADD ibalulekile. Xa wena kunye neqabane lakho niqonda ukuba i-ADD ichaphazela njani ulwalamano lwakho, isicwangciso sokulungisa imiba siyacaca ngakumbi. Ukuba uziva unamathele okanye ungaqinisekanga malunga noko ukwenzayo, unganqikazi ukufumana uncedo kwabanye, ngokukodwa kubaqeqeshi bezempilo abanamava ekunakekeleni i-ADD.
Unxibelelwano Oluhle Oludala
Ukunxibelelana okulungileyo, okuvulekileyo, okunyanisekileyo kubalulekile kunoma yiphi ubudlelwane. Yiba ngabahlobo kuqala. Qhubeka uvavanya inkqubela ebudlelwaneni bakho. Hlala phantsi ndawonye rhoqo kwaye uthethe ngendlela ubuhlobo obuhamba ngayo. Ukwakha ngokukhawuleza kwaye ngendlela ejongene nokujongana neengxaki. Yiba nesisombululo esicacileyo, kungabi yityholo. Zama ukungabi nomntu ongeyomntu ongeyiphumeli, kunoko bathethe ndawonye malunga nokuba izinto zenziwa njani ngokwahlukileyo ukuze ngoko bobabili nivuyiswe. Ukuba uthetha ukuthetha kakhulu, zama ukuthetha okungaphantsi kunye nokuphulaphula xa udibene. Gcina uqhagamshelwano lwamehlo ngelixa iqabane lakho lithetha. Bonisa umdla, kwaye makumenze akwazi ukuba uyamkhathalela. Cwangcisa imisebenzi kunye nonke enandiphayo. Bhala ngokufudumala kunye. Thatha itye. Musa ukukhawuleza ulwalamano. Unxibelelwano oluqinileyo lwakhiwe ngokufanelekileyo, ukuthembela ngokunyanisekileyo kunye nentlonipho efumaneka kuphela ngexesha.
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