I-Rethink Le Ukuphazamiseka Okuqhelekileyo Kokuqonda
I-blame ingaba nemvakalelo embi kangangokuba abaninzi abanengxaki yokuphazamiseka kwintlungu bayalwela ukuhamba. Funda ukunqoba iipateni zokucinga ezingafanelekanga kwaye ugqibe ukugxeka.
Inkcazo
I-blame yindlela yokuphazamiseka kwengqondo , okanye indlela yokucinga engafanelekanga, enokuqinisa ukuvakalelwa, ukukhathazeka kunye nokwesaba. Ulwaphulo lweengqondo lusekelwe kwingcamango yokuba iingcamango zethu ziyakwazi ukunyanzela ukukhathazeka kwentliziyo yethu. Ngoko ke, iingcamango ezingathembeki zingabangela ukuba iimpawu zokudakumba nokuxhalabisa.
Abantu abaxilongwa ngokuba neengxaki zokuphazamiseka badla ngokumelana nokucinga okuphosakeleyo. Ukumangalelwa kwenzeka xa umntu ethatha ingqalelo yakhe kwingxaki eyona nto kwaye azigxeka yena okanye abanye kwiimeko. Abantu abavame ukuhlaselwa ngokukrakra bangashukukuthela ngokwabo "ukulahlekelwa ngumlawuli" okanye bazive bexhalabile. Iingcamango ezinjalo zongeza kwiimvakalelo zokuzikhupha kwaye zigalelo ekuziphatheni ukuphepha . Esikhundleni sokuzigxeka, umntu uya kuba ngcono ekugxininiseni ingqalelo kwiindlela zokuphatha kakuhle imeko yabo, njengokuphuhlisa iindlela zokuziphucula.
Ngezantsi kukho imimiselo yokugxeka kunye nezindlela onokufunda ngazo ukucinga kwakhona ukuphazamiseka kwengcamango.
U mzekelo
USheila unesifo sokuphazamiseka kwesifo kunye ne- agoraphobia kwaye akafaneki ahambe ekhaya. Ungathanda ukusondela kwintsapho yakhe eyongeziweyo, kodwa uye waba nzima ukuchaza imeko yakhe kubo. Uchithe iinyanga zokugqibela ezixhalabileyo malunga nokuba uya kukwazi ukuya kumtshato womntakwabo. Xa umtshato womntwana wakhe womtshato ufika, uShelia uziva exhalabile ukuya. Uthi, "Ndiyabuhlungu gqitha. Yonke loo nto iphosakeleyo. Ndimele ndiyazi ukuba andiyi kuba nesibindi sokuhamba. Ndiyazigweba ngamgama phakathi kwam nentsapho yam. "
UBen uthabathe iikholeji zasekuhlaleni. Emva komsebenzi, wagqiba ukuchitha iiyure ezimbalwa ngokuhlwa kwakhe esebenza kwizabelo zakhe zeklasini. UBen wayenzima ukucinga iimpendulo kwenye yezabelo zakhe. Wayecaphukisa kangangokuthi wacinga ukuhlawula iklasi. UBen wacinga kuye, "Andiyikuyiqonda le mibuzo kuba umfundisi wam unesabisayo. Iphulo lakhe lokuba ndiyichitha le klasi! "UBen akazange abe nezikhalazo malunga nomqeqeshi ade engakwazi ukwenza esi sabelo esisodwa.
Rethink It
Endaweni yokujongana nemiba yakhe ne- agoraphobia , u-Sheila uyazigxeka ngenxa yokungayi kumtshato. Ukungakwazi kwakhe ukuya emtshatweni ngumqondiso wesimo sakhe. Esikhundleni sokuchitha ixesha elixhalabileyo ngomtshato, uSheila wayenokuthatha ixesha elifanelekileyo ukuba aqale ukusebenza ngemiba yakhe, njengokujonga kwiinketho zokwelapha ngenxa yokuphazamiseka kwengxaki. Oko akuthethi ukuba uya kukwazi ukuya emtshatweni, kodwa wayeza kusebenza kwiinjongo zakhe endaweni yokuzigxeka ngenxa yesimo sakhe.
UBen usebenzise isityholo sokuphepha ukujongana nemiba yakhe. Usola umqeqeshi weklasi ukuba akakwazi ukugqiba isabelo seklasi. UBen uhluleka ukubona ezinye iindlela zakhe. Ungayithumela i-imeyile umyalelo ukuba acele uncedo okanye athathe ikhefu aze abuyele kwisabelo emva kokuba sele ephumle. Ukugxeka abanye kuya kudala ukuphazamiseka kwexeshana endaweni yesisombululo esisigxina.
Ukutyekela ukubeka uxyala okanye abanye kubakho ngokuphindaphindiweyo xa kuvela imiba enzima. I-Blame iyindlela yokuphepha ukujongana nale ngxaki. Xa kuvela imiba ebomini bakho, qaphela ukuba uthetha ukuzitshitshisa wena okanye abanye kunokuba ujongane nemiba ekhoyo. Ngaba uzigxeka wena okanye abanye ngenxa yomzabalazo wakho wokuhlaselwa? Kunokuba nzima kakhulu ukwenza, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha kufuneka sifunde ukuba sithethelela njani thina kunye nabanye. Oku kunokusinceda siphile ubomi obonwabileyo nangaphezulu. Xa siyeka ukugxeka, siyakwazi ukuqhubela phambili kwaye sisebenze kwiinjongo zethu kwaye sinqobelele imiba yethu.
Imithombo:
Ukushisa, iDD " Ukuva Okulungileyo: Ulwaphulo olutsha lweMode ," iAvon Books: eNew York, ngo-2008.
Ukushisa, iDD " Xa i-Panic ihlasela: I-New-Free-Free Free-Concerned Therapy Okusenokutshintsha Ubomi Bakho" I- Broadway Books: New York, 2006.