Kwiinyanga ezi-5-ezingenasiphelo, uMariya wajika ekhoneni waza waziva ngathi uya kukwazi ukuyeka ukutshaya. Uthetha ngamaqela amaninzi, ummandla wabashushu abaye bamncedisa ukuyeka. Yeka kwaye ukhangele iqonga ukuba utsha ukuyeka. Uza kufumana uncedo oluninzi kunye noqhagamshelwano apho!
Kuvela kuMariya:
Ndiyakholwa ngokwenene ukuba ngo-8: 00 ekuseni kule ngqungquthela engama-23 enyangeni leyo ndineenyanga ezi-5 zonke ngaphandle kokubamba ugwayi phakathi kwam iminwe, ndibeka emlonyeni wam, ndikhukhumele kwaye ndifake i-fumes umqala wam, umlenze, iindinyana zomzimba, iimfa kunye nemiphunga.
Ndiyazibuza: "Ndingathini na ukuba ndiyimfama? Ndandingenako njani ukuba ndibe nesibindi sokubeka umzimba wam ngokusetyenziswa kakubi? Ndingathini na ukuba ndingabathobeli abanye abantu? "
Kukhona i-twinge yecala ekhupha ngaphakathi kwam, ukuziva ndingento engaqhelekanga. Kwabandezela ngeenyanga, kwandula emva kweminyaka emva kokuba ndifumanise inyaniso yezinto ezimbi ezibangelwa ngumsi wecuba , nokuba ngumsi womnxeba unokuba nomzimba womntu. Kodwa kukho umehluko omnye ngoku-ndiyakwazi ukuxolela ubuyatha bentliziyo ngenxa yokuba ndiyazi ukuba ndiyilwaphulo elibi kakhulu kwi-nicotine kwaye ndathatha amanyathelo okufumana inkululeko yam kanye kanye.
Iiveki zokuqala ezingabikho nge-Smoke
Akuzange kube lula. Iiveki ezimbalwa zokuqala ngaphandle kwam qabane (ukuba ndikhohlisiwe ekukholweni ndiyithandayo ) kwakukuphazamiseka kokuphila, ukuthetha okungenani. Ndaphenduka waba ngumntu okhubekileyo ngeentsuku ezingacingi ngokucacileyo kunye nokunyanzela nabani na owenzayo. Ndithi yonke into ngokungabi nomsi .
Ndagqiba iigarethi ngokugqithiseleyo kwaye xa ndaqonda ukuba babengekho, ndingayivakalelwa kukuba ndilahlekile kwaye ndingenanto. Ukundwendwela kwiforamu kuphela kukuthulisa uxhalaba lwam kwaye kundiphe ithemba.
Njengoko ixesha liqhubekile, ndifumene ukuba ndijamelane nezinto ezininzi , izifiso kunye nosongelo lweemeko apho ndazi ukuba kuya kuba ngaphezulu.
Ngenye imini omnye umntu ungandixelele ukuba ndenza umsebenzi omhle wokukhuthaza abanye kwi-forum ukuba ndimele ndiyenze kakuhle xa ndiyeka. Kususela ngoko ndinike le ngcamango ecacileyo. Ndiziva ndimele ndihlambuluke ngezinto ezimbalwa.
Inkohlakalo Yenza Uyenze
Ndizama ukucinga ngokuqinisekileyo kwaye ndifuna ukuhambisa iingcamango ezintle kubantu abatsha abatshitshisileyo, kuba ndikhumbula indlela endibanceda ngayo endleleni. Kodwa, kwakukho amaxesha apho ndathumela khona ukuba ndivakalelwa ngaphantsi kwezinto ezintle ngaphakathi - ukungqinanga nto yokhuseleko lokuyeka kwam.
Kuye kwandithatha iinyanga ezine nesiqingatha ukuba ndiqale ukuziva ndikhululekile kwaye ndiyazi entliziyweni yam ukuba oko ndithethile konke "Ukubhema akuyona inketho kwakhona" inyaniso epheleleyo. Omnye kwiforum ephethe isignesha- "fake" ukuba uyayenza "kwaye ndivakalelwa kukuba yinto endiyenzileyo eninzi kule nyanga ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo. Kodwa oko bekuyinto entle.
Iiveki ezimbini zokugqibela sele zandifungela ukuba ndineembono ezahlukeneyo. Andiyi kuphinda ndilahleke ukutshaya . Ndikhangele abanye kwaye ndifuna ukuba ndiyichukumise kubo ububuqili. Ndiyanyanyeka xa ndibabona bevusa iifutha eziyingozi, becinga ukuba bayakuzonwabisa. Ekugqibeleni ndiza kuthi 'kukuhle kangakanani' akuyi kulawulwa yinto enika ubungqina bobuxoki xa kuqhuba kakubi.
Ndiyasebenza kakuhle. Ndikunzima, kodwa ndihlala ndibulela ukuba ndifumene amandla endikufunayo ukuze ndiwenze ngexesha elibi. Amandla endikufumene apha apha kule ndawo ebalulekileyo ebizwa ngokuba yiforamu. Amagama nobuso babo bonke abazinikelayo apha baye bavela kwintsapho enye evuyokileyo, ngamnye umntu onakekela omnye. Ubuhlobo kunye nobudlelwane buyathandeka kwaye buxabiseke.
Ndaphuma ngenye ingoma yengoma ethi "Ndiyakwazi Ukuyibona Ngoku Ngoku", ichaza uhambo lwam ngokuyeka ukutshaya. (Ingqungquthela ibhalwe nguAnnon Murray nabanye).
Ndiyakubona ngoku ngoku
Ndiyabona ngoku ngoku, inkungu ihambe,
Akukho zithintelo endleleni yam
Kukho umlutha owawubopha
Kuya kuba ngumsi womsi, uphilise
Ndiziva ulungile.
Kuya kuba ngumsi womsi, uphilise
Ndiziva ulungile.
Ndiyazi ukuba ndiyakwenza ngoku, izifiso zaphela
Zonke iinkohliso zobuxoki zinyamalale
Kusondele inkululeko endiyithanda ngayo
Kuya kuba ngumsi womsi, uphilise
Ndiziva ulungile.
Ukutshiza yonke indawo, akukho nto 'kodwa umoya omtsha
Ukujiya phambili ngqo, ungabonakali 'kodwa umoya omtsha
Ndiyabona ngoku ngoku, inkungu ihambe,
Akukho zithintelo endleleni yam
Kukho umlutha owawubopha
Kuya kuba ngumsi womsi, uphilise
Ndiziva ulungile.
Kuya kuba ngumsi womsi, uphilise
Ndiziva ulungile!
Haleluya!
~ Mariya