Ubudlelwane phakathi kokuzithoba nokuzithemba kumiselwe iminyaka emininzi. Ngama-1970, abasebenzisi beziyobisi, ngokukodwa abafazi, bafunyaniswa ukuba banokuzithoba , kwaye ngoku kutshanje, ukuxhamla kuboniswe phakathi kokuzithemba okuphantsi nokuziphatha kakubi , kubandakanywa nokulutha kwe-intanethi , ukufumana iingxaki zokutya kunye nokuthenga ukunyanzelisa .
Ekuqaleni, utywala okanye iziyobisi okanye ukuziphatha okunyanzelekileyo kunokukwenza ukuba abantu bangabi nantlonelo baze benze abantu bazive beqinisekile.
Le mvakalelo ihlala emfutshane, nangona kunjalo, kwaye umlingo unokuthi unqabise ukuzithemba kwazo.
Ukuvuselela Ukuzimela Kwakho Xa Unesilingo
Enoba ucinga ukwenza okuthile malunga nokutshabalala kwakho, okanye sele usendleleni yokubuyisela, uya kuzuza ngokuthatha ezi nyathelo ezilula ukwakha ukuzithemba kwakho.
- Bhala ingxelo yakho . Ukuqinisekiswa isicatshulwa esilula, esilungileyo othetha kuwe. Nangona ukuqinisekiswa kungabonakali okwenene ekuqaleni, emva kwexesha, ukuyikhumbula kuyatshintsha indlela ozivakalelwa ngayo. Bhala ubungqina obubonisa indlela ofuna ukuziva ngayo ngawe; umzekelo, "Ndiyaziqhayisa." Zinike inyanga usitsho ngokuzwakalayo imihla ngemihla.
- Zithethelele ngeempazamo zangaphambili. Abantu abaye balwela umlutha bahlala behlwaywa yi-self-blame, eyonakalisa ukuzithemba. Umlutha ungathintela umgwebo wakho kunye nokulawula umgudu, ngoko uthetha wenze izinto ozisola ngazo emva koko. Ukuzibetha malunga nento oyenzayo kwithuba elidlulileyo kuya kukwandisa amathuba okubuya kwakhona, ngoko ngoku yisikhathi sokubona nokuvuma oko wakwenzayo, vumela ukuba ujezise ngokwakho, kwaye uzibophelele ukwenza izinto ezahlukeneyo kwixesha elizayo. Ngamanye amagama, ungaze uvumele iziphoso ezidlulileyo zichaze lakho langoku.
- Yamkele iincoma. Abantu abanokuzithemba phantsi bahlala belahlekelwa ngamathuba okwakha ukuzithemba kwabo nje ngokuvuma amagama amnandi abanye. Ngexesha elizayo umntu ekunika uncomo , xhathisa umgudu wokuwugxotha okanye ucinge ukuba lowo mntu akayithethi. Kunoko, cinga ukuba uyinyaniso, kwaye usenokufumana ukuba kunjalo.
- Yenza into enomusa imihla ngemihla. Enye indlela yokwandisa ukwazisa abanye abakubonayo kuwe kukuba benze izinto ezinomusa kubo. Awudingi ukwenza uphawu olukhulu; into elula njengobambe umnyango ovulelekileyo umntu, ulahle isihlalo kwibhasi okanye unike umntu umyalelo xa ekhangeleka elahlekile angenza "unombulelo" ngokwenene. Nangona omnye umntu engabonakali ukubulela , unokwenza uvakalelo olufanelekileyo lokunceda omnye umntu. Unokuphinda ucinge ngokuzithandela ukusiza abanye ukuba bafumane.
- Qala ukwenza utshintsho. Akukho nto ikunceda ukuba uzuze ukuzithemba njengokwenza ukuzimela. Wonke umntu unokuthanda ukuguqula ubomi bakhe, okanye kubomi balabo abakujikelezile, kodwa kubantu abanezidakamizwa, utshintsho luyenzeka kwizigaba . Ukuba utshintsho olukhulu lubonakala lukhulu kakhulu, luphule phantsi kwizenzo ezincinci, kwaye ukhethe ukwenza enye ngosuku okanye enye ngeveki, nayiphi na into ovakalelwa ngayo ukuba uya kuqhubeka. Ngomnye utshintsho oluncinci, ngaphakathi ubhiyozele impumelelo yakho ekuhambeleni kwinjongo yakho.
Imithombo:
Gossop, M. "Ukuxhomekeka kweziyobisi kunye nokuzimela," Ukusebenzisa izinto nokusetyenziswa kakubi 11 (5): 741-753. 1976.
UHanle, A. noWilhelm, M. "Ukuthenga ngokunyanzela: Ukuhlola ukuzithemba kunye nemeko yokuziphatha." Umbhalo we-Psychology yezoqoqosho (1): 5-18. 1992.
Ngo-Mayhew, R kunye no-Edelmann, R. "Ukuzithemba, iinkolelo ezingenangqiqo kunye nezicwangciso zokuxhatshazwa malunga nokutya kweengxaki kwiindawo ezingezizo zonyango." Ubuntu kunye noBomi bomntu ngamnye (5): 581-584. 1989.
U-Niemz, K., Griffiths, M., Banyard, P. "Ukusetyenziswa kwe-Intanethi kwi-Intanethi Ukusetyenziswa phakathi kwabaFundi beYunivesithi kunye nokuBambisana ne-Self-Esteem, i-General Health Questionnaire (GHQ), kunye neNgcaciso." I-CyberPsychology & Ukuziphatha 8 (6): 562-570. 2005.