Ukuzithemba kuthiwa kudlala indima kwingxaki yokukhathazeka kwentlalo (SAD) . Nangona ukunciphisa ukuzithemba kunokukubeka emngciphekweni wokuxhalaba kwentlalo kamva, ukuba neengxaki zokuxhalabisa kunokukunceda uzive uzibi nakakhulu. Ngale ndlela, ezi zimbandezelo zimbini zibandakanya ukuqhubeka nomjikelezo ongalunganga.
Ukuba unqwenela ukunqoba ukuxhalaba kwakho kwentlalo, qalisa ngokujonga kakuhle indlela ozijonga ngayo.
Ukuzithemba okuphantsi kunokudala ukuxhalaba kunye nokuzimelela, okukuqinisa kuphela umfanekiso wakho wokuziphatha.
Iinkolelo eziKhulu kunye nokuzimela
Ukuba uhlala ne-SAD, mhlawumbi unokholo oluyinhloko ngathi "Andikwazi ukulawula uxhalaba lwam ebantwini," kwaye "andinalo izakhono ezaneleyo zokujamelana neemeko zentlalo kunye nokusebenza ." Njengoko ubona, ezi nkolelo eziyinqobo zikunceda ukugcina uxhalaba lwakho, kwaye unokuthi uzuze ukuzithoba.
Ngelixa abaninzi abantu banemvakalelo engapheliyo yokwenza iimpazamo, bahlala bexhamla. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuba unesidima esincinci, indlela ozivakalelwa ngayo kwimiba ethile ingachaza indlela ozivakalelwa ngayo ngokubanzi. Iinkolelo zakho ngawe zixhomekeke kumzuzwana-ngoko nayiphi na into engeyiyo ingathumela ukuba ungabi nongqondo.
Ngokwahlukileyo, abantu abanokuzihlonela ngokufanelekileyo bayakwazi ukuvavanya ngokuchanekileyo ngokwabo, amandla abo, kunye nobuthathaka babo, kwaye bakholelwa ukuba banabantu abafanelekileyo.
Imvelaphi yokuzihlaziya okuphantsi
Ukuba unesizotha esincinane, unokuzibuza ukuba yenziwe njani. Okanye, mhlawumbi unengcamango efanelekileyo xa uqala ukuvakalelwa ngale ndlela. Amava angakhokelela ekunciphiseni ukuzithemba zibandakanya ezi ziganeko ezilandelayo ebuntwaneni nasemva kokuphila:
- Ukugxeka kubazali
- Ukuxhaphazwa ngokomzimba, ngokomzwelo okanye ngokwesondo
- Ukungahoywa okanye ukunyanzelwa
- Ukuxhatshazwa okanye ukukloloda
- Ukunyeliswa ngabaontanga
- Ukulindela okungenangqiqo okanye imilinganiselo ephezulu yabanye
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abantu abakhulayo beve, bahlonishwa, bathandwayo, bhiyozelwa, kwaye bayamkeleka akunakwenzeka ukuba bahlakulele umzobo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, abantu abaninzi abaneengxaki ezikhuselekileyo banokuzithemba, kwaye nabo bazali abanothando kunye namava amnandi kunye noontanga banokuhlakulela iingxaki zokuzithemba. Oku kugxininisa ukuba ukuzithemba okuphantsi akuyona into ofuna ukuhlala nayo.
Izwi lakho langaphakathi
Lithetha ntoni ilizwi lakho langaphakathi kuwe? Le yindlela enye yokuvavanya ukuzithemba kwakho. Ukuba elo lizwi ekhanda lakho liyamkela kwaye liqinisekisa, ngoko ukuzithemba kwakho kusenokwenzeka ukuba kunempilo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuba uthetha izinto ezibuhlungu okanye ezikugxekayo, ngoko unokubandezeleka.
Kwiphando olwenziwe ngo-2006 olupapashwe ngoPhando loPhando kunye noTywala, kuboniswe ukuba abantu ababenenkxalabo yeentlalontle babengenakukwazi ukudibanisa amagama amahle kunye nabo kunabantu abangazange banxungule. Ngokufanayo, uphando olwenziwe ngo-2004 lweCanada Journal of Psychiatry lubonisa ukuba ukuzithemba kwakungaphantsi kwalabo bahlali beentlalo xa beqhathaniswa nabangenayo ingxaki.
Okona kubaluleke ngakumbi, uphando olwenziwa ngo-2011 olupapashwe kwi- Psychotherapy ne-Cognitive Psychotherapy lubonise ukuba abantu abanexhala lezenhlalakahle "banokuzithemba ngokuzenzekelayo" kwaye ngokwenene bafune kwaye bakhethe impendulo engafanelekanga yentlalo kwinkqubo ebizwa ngokuthi "ukuqinisekiswa."
Oko kuthetha ukuthini ukuba kwabanye abantu abane-SAD, loo mazwi angenanto entloko yakho ekuxelela ukuba awukho kakuhle kwiimeko zentlalo kunye nokusebenza empeleni isiprofeto esizizalisayo. Xa ucinga ngakumbi kubo, xa ufuna ngakumbi ukuqinisekiswa kwihlabathi elikujikelezayo ukuba liyinyaniso.
Ngamanye amagama, uyeka ukukhangela ubungqina obuphikisana neenkolelo zakho ngawe.
Uyeke ukukhangela ukuphuhlisa elo lizwi entloko yakho elikuxelela ukuba awunelisekile. Kunoko, uyondla elo lizwi oko lifuna ukuliva, kwaye liyaqhubeka likhula ngakumbi. Ukuthulisa ilizwi, kufuneka uqale uvume ukuba kukho.
Uhambo lwe-Self Self-Esteem
Ukuba uhlala kunye nokukhathazeka kwentlalo, mhlawumbi unemilinganiselo yezenhlalo kunye nenkathazo yokukhetha iinjongo ezifumanekayo. Ngokomzekelo, unokukholelwa ukuba wonke umntu kufuneka akuthande kwaye akufuneki utsho okanye wenze into engalunganga.
Kwiimeko zentlalontle kunye neentsebenzo ofumana inzima, mhlawumbi unokutshintsha ingqalelo yakho kwixhala lakho, uzijonga kakubi, kwaye uzivelele iziphumo ezimbi zokuzenza iimpazamo.
Mhlawumbi uya kubuyela kwizicwangciso ozivelayo ezisebenzele zona ngaphambili, njengokuphepha iimeko okanye ukusebenzisa iindlela zokuphepha. Emva koko, xa sekuphelile, mhlawumbi uphinda ekhanda lakho yonke into oyenzile, ngaphaya kwakhona, kwaye kwakhona. Ngale ndlela, ukuzithemba okuphantsi kunye nokuxhalaba kwezenhlalakahle kuyaqhubela phambili kumjikelezo onobungozi. Ngelixa unokuziva ukhululekile ukuhlala kwikhaya okanye uphephe intlanganiso emsebenzini, unokukwenza njani uzive ngathi njengomntu?
Ukukhuthaza ukuzinzisa nokunciphisa ukukhathazeka kweNtlalontle
Ukuba unesidima esincinane, asikho isigwebo sokuphila. Nangona ubuye ubanjwe ebomini bakho ngenxa yokuzithoba kwakho, unokuqala ukwenza utshintsho oluthile oluya kuphucula indlela ozijonga ngayo-oko kunokufumana iziphumo ezilungileyo ngokubhekiselele kwixhala lakho lentlalo.
Nangona unyango olunjenge-cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) lukwacetyiswa ukulawula iimpawu ze-SAD, kwaye lunokukunceda ukuzithemba kwakho, unokwenza izinto ngokwakho ukuze uncede ukukhulisa amandla akho ukujonga ngokuchanekileyo kwaye uyamkele ukuba ungubani : I
- Umngeni welizwi langaphakathi : Yenza umkhwa wokuphulaphula oko utsho kuwe. Emva koko, xa ubaluleke kakhulu, zama ukuqonda oko wenze okulungileyo kunokuba uzibethe ngenxa yento oyenzile.
Yiba novelwano : Ziphathe ngokwakho kwaye uza kubaphatha umhlobo osondeleyo okanye ilungu losapho. Khumbula into esele sithethe? Ukuba uvile, uhlonishwa, uyathandwa, ugujwa, kwaye uyamkela unakho ukuhlakulela ukuzithemba. Xa uthetha kuwe, zibuze ukuba yiyinyaniso, inceda, ikhuthaze, iyadingeka kwaye inomusa (CINGA)? Ukuba akunjalo, fumana enye into oyithethayo.
Hlalani okwangoku : Jonga iimpazamo zakho . Enye impazamo ayithethi ixesha lokuphila. Jonga iimeko ezidlulayo ezidlulileyo ezifana nomntu onqabileyo kuwe. Akukho nto enokuyenza ngayo. Kutheni ungaceli endaweni ongayinceda ngayo okanye ukuba kukho into engalunganga? Musa ukujonge kakhulu kwixesha elizayo kwaye ulindele ukuba izinto zihambe kakubi. Akukho namnye wethu owaziyo okanye ongakwazi ukuqikelela oko kuza kwenzeka ngomso, iveki ukususela ngoku, okanye unyaka ukususela ngoku.
Xolela . Okubaluleke kakhulu, zixolele kuwe nayiphi na into ekukuthintele yona. Le yithuba lakho lokusula i-slate ecocekileyo. Yazi ukuba ungumntu kwaye awuyi kwenza konke ngokugqibeleleyo. Yamkela iimvakalelo ezimbi njengoko ziza, kodwa ungazivumeli ukuba zikukhusele ngaphandle kwazo.
ILizwi
Ukuba ufumana ukuziphila ngokuzithoba kunye nokuxhalaba kwentlalo onzima ukuyitshintsha ngokwakho, cinga ukufikelela kumhlobo, ilungu lentsapho, ugqirha okanye omnye umntu kuluntu ukuba uchaze indlela ozive ngayo.
Ngamanye amaxesha iimvakalelo zokuzithoba kunye nokuxhalaba zinzima kakhulu kangangokuba zidinga uncedo lwezakhono, ngendlela yokwelapha kunye / okanye amayeza. Akukho ntloni xa ufuna ukufumana uncedo. Kunoko, ukuzama ukufumana uncedo kunokukuvumela ukuba uqhubeke kwaye uncede abanye kwindawo efanayo.
> Imithombo:
> Hofmann SG. Izizathu ezinengqondo ezigcina ingxaki yokukhathazeka kwentlalo: imodeli epheleleyo kunye nefuthe layo. Cogn Behav Ther . 2007; 36 (4): 193-209.
> Izgiç F, Akyüz G, Doğan O, Kuğu N. I-phobia yeNtlalo phakathi kwabafundi beyunivesithi kunye nolwalamano lwazo nokuzimela kunye nomzimba. Ngaba iJ Psychiatry . 2004; 49 (9): 630-634.
> Tanner RJ, Stopa L, De Houwer J. Iimbono ezicacileyo ngokwabo kwixhala lezenhlalakahle. Behav Res Ther . 2006; 44 (10): 1397-1409.
> IYunivesithi yaseTexas Counselling and Centre Health Centre. Ubuwena .
> Valentiner DP, uSkowronski JJ, uMcGrath PB, uSmith SA, uRenner KA. Ukuziqinisekisa kunye nokuxhalaba kwentlalo: ukhetho lwengxelo engalunganga yoluntu kunye nokuzithoba kwezenhlalakahle. Behav Cogn Psychother . 2011; 39 (5): 601-617.