Iimpembelelo zoBuzali boBugcisa babantwana
Umzali wobuGcisa isitayela somzali esichazwe yimfuno ephezulu kunye nokuphendula okuphantsi. Abazali abanesimo sobukhosi banokulindela kakhulu abantwana babo, kodwa banikezela ngokuncinci kwindlela yokunika ingxelo kunye noqinisekiso. Iingcamango zivame ukuhlwaywa ngokukhawuleza. Xa ingxelo iyenzeka, kaninzi kunzima. Ukuhlwaywa kunye nokuhlwaywa komzimba kubonakala ngokuqhelekileyo kwisitayela sobukhosi.
Imbali emfutshane
Ngethuba lama-1960, isazi sengqondo sokuphuhliswa kwengqondo uDiana Baumrind sichaza iintlobo ezintathu ezahlukeneyo zohlobo lomzali ngokusekelwe kuphando lwakhe ngabantwana abaneminyaka engama-1000 ubudala. Enye yeendlela eziphambili zokuba ngumzali ezichongiwe yiBaumrind zibizwa ngokuba ngumzali obalawulayo.
Abazali basemthethweni banethemba eliphezulu labantwana babo kwaye banemithetho eqinile kakhulu abayilindele ukuba ilandelwe ngokungathandabuzekiyo. Ngokutsho kweBaumrind, aba bazali "bayamamela kunye neendawo ezijoliswe kuzo, kwaye balindele ukuba imiyalelo yabo ilandelwe ngaphandle kwengcaciso."
Abantu abanalo ndlela yokubeletha basebenzisa isijeziso kunokuba baqeqeshe kodwa abanqweneli okanye abakwazi ukucacisa ukucinga emva kwemithetho yabo.
Iimpawu zabazali begunya
I-Baumrind ikholelwa ukuba enye yeendima ezinkulu abazali abadlala ngayo ebomini bokuba ngumntwana ukuba bahlalisane nabo kwiimpawu kunye nokulindela kwenkcubeko yabo. Indlela abazali abayenzayo ngayo, nangona kunjalo, banokuhluka ngokukodwa ngokumalunga nomlinganiselo wolawulo abazama ukuzenza ngaphezu koonyana babo.
Indlela yokugunyaza ibonisa isitayela esilawulayo. Kunokuba baqikelele ukuzithiba nokufundisa abantwana ukulawula ukuziphatha kwabo, umzali onobuqili ugxininise ekuthobeleni igunya. Esikhundleni sokuvuza iziphathamandla ezilungileyo, umzali olawulayo unikela ngempendulo ngesimo sohlwayo ngokungaziphathi kakuhle.
Ezi zizinto ezisibhozo zezona ziqhelekileyo eziqhelekileyo zobubele bomzali:
- Abazali bezigunyazo bavame ukuba banzima kakhulu, kodwa bengaphenduli. Unemiqathango emininzi kwaye inokuthi ibenze i-micromanage phantse yonke into ebomini yobomi babo neendlela zabo zokuziphatha. Imithetho enjalo isebenza phantse kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi, ukusuka kwindlela abantwana abalindeleke ukuba baziphathe ngayo ekhaya ukuba bafanele benze njani kuluntu. Ukongezelela, banemithetho emininzi engabhalwanga ukuba abantwana balindeleke ukuba balandele-nangona aba bana bafumana imfundiso encinane malunga nale "mithetho." Kunoko, abantwana babelindeleke ukuba bazi ukuba le mithetho ikhona.
- Ababonisi ukufudumala okanye ukunyusa. Abazali abanalolu hlobo bavame ukubonakala bebandayo, banobuqili, kwaye bebuhlungu. Laba bazali banokuthi baxhaphaze okanye bakhuphe abantwana babo kunokuba bakhuthaze kwaye badumise. Baxabisa ukuqeqeshwa ngokuzonwabisa kwaye banokulindela ukuba abantwana kufuneka babonakale bengabonwa.
- Abazali basemthethweni basebenzisa izijeziso ngokungenanto okanye kungekho ncazelo. Abazali abanalolu hlobo bahlala bengenaso ingxaki ekubhekiselele kwisijeziso sonyango, esivame ukubandakanya ukuhluma. Kunokuba bathembele ekuqiniseni ngokuqinisekileyo , basabela ngokukhawuleza nangentloni xa imithetho iphukile.
- Abanikeli abantwana ukhetho okanye iinketho. Abazali basemthethweni babeka imithetho kwaye "indlela yam okanye indlela ehamba phambili" yokuqeqesha. Kukho igumbi elincinane lokuxoxisana kwaye abavumi ukuvumela abantwana babo ukuba benze ukhetho lwabo.
- Ababanomdla wokungabikho komonde. Abazali basemagunyeni balindele ukuba abantwana babo bazi kakuhle kunokuba bahlanganyele kwiziphatho ezingathandekiyo. Abanalo umonde wokuchaza isizathu sokuba abantwana babo bafanele ukuphepha ukuziphatha okuthile kwaye bachithe amandla amancinco athethe ngeemvakalelo.
- Abazali basemthethweni abazithembi abantwana babo ukwenza ukhetho olufanelekileyo. Ngelixa abazali beli gama banelindelo eliphezulu kunye nemithetho eqinile, ababanakho banike abantwana babo inkululeko enkulu yokubonisa ukuba banokubonisa ukuziphatha kakuhle kwaye benze ukhetho olufanelekileyo. Kunokuba bavumele izingane zabo zenze izigqibo zodwa kwaye zijongene nemiphumo yemvelo kwezo zigqibo, abazali abahloniphekileyo baxhamla abantwana babo ukuze baqinisekise ukuba abazenza iimpazamo.
- Abafuni ukuxoxisana. Abazali abagunyazayo abakholelwa kwimimandla egciniweyo. Iimeko zijongwa njengomnyama nomhlophe kwaye akukho nto ikwazi ukuyiyeka. Abantwana abafumani nto okanye ivoti xa kuziwa ekubekeni imithetho okanye ukwenza izigqibo.
- Baya kuhlazisa abantwana babo ukubanyanzelisa ukuba baziphathe. Abazali basemthethweni banokubaluleka kakhulu kwaye banokusebenzisa ihlazo njengeqhinga lokunyanzelisa abantwana ukuba balandele imigaqo. "Kutheni uhlala uyenza loo nto ?," "Kangaphi na ixesha kufuneka ndixelele into efanayo ?," kwaye "Kutheni ungeke uyenze nantoni na?" zimbalwa nje zamagama aba bazali basebenzise rhoqo. Kunokuba bafune iindlela zokwakha ukuzithoba kwabo bantwana, aba bazali bakholelwa ukuba ukuhlazisa abantwana babo kuya kubakhuthaza ukuba benze ngcono.
I ziphumo
Izindlela zabazali ziye zadibaniswa neziphumo ezahlukahlukeneyo zabafundi kuquka nezakhono zentlalo kunye nokusebenza kwezemfundo.
Abantwana babazali bobuqhetseba bavame ukubonisa le miphumo:
- Badibanisa ukuthobela nokuphumelela ngothando
- Abanye abantwana babonakalisa ukuziphatha kakubi ngaphandle kwekhaya
- Abanye abantwana banokwenza ukwesaba okanye ukunyanisekisa abanye
- Abantwana kaninzi banokuzithoba
- Abantwana banenkinga kwiimeko zoluntu ngenxa yokungabi nantoni kwentlalo
- Bavame ukuvumelanisa ngokulula, kodwa banokubandezeleka nokuxinezeleka
- Basenokuzabalazela nokuzithiba kuba baqhelanga ukwenza ukhetho kunye nemiphumo yemvelo
Ngenxa yokuba abazali abanomthetho balindele ukuthobela ngokupheleleyo, abantwana abakhuliswa kwezi zicwangciso bahlala bekulungele ukulandela imithetho. Nangona kunjalo, banokungazinzi. Ngokungafani nabantwana abaphakanyiswe ngabazali abanegunya , abantwana abakhuliswa ngabazali abanesiqinisekiso abakhuthazwa ukuba bahlolisise benze ngokuzimela, ngoko abazange bafunde indlela yokubeka imida yabo kunye nemigangatho yabo. Oku kunokubangela iingxaki xa umzali okanye igunya lokubala alikho ukujonga ukuziphatha.
Nangona iingcali zentuthuko ziyavuma ukuba imigaqo nemida ibalulekile ukuba abantwana babe neyona nto, abaninzi bakholelwa ukuba umzali onobugunyazi uyaphoswa kwaye akanakho ukufudumala, uthando olungenammiselo, kunye noqinisekiso olufunwa ngabantwana.
ILizwi
Isitayela esinobukhulu sibonakaliswe yimithetho emininzi kodwa impendulo encinci yabazali. Nangona indlela yolawulo ingasebenza kwiimeko ezithile ezifuna ukuthotyelwa ngokuthe ngqo kwimithetho, ingaba nemiphumo emibi xa isetyenziswe njengendlela yokukhulisa abazali.
Ukuba uqaphele ukuba isitayela sakho somzali siba negunya lobungcali, cinga ngokukhangela iindlela ongaqala ngazo ukufaka isitayela esipheleleyo ekusebenzisaneni kwakho kwansuku zonke nabantwana bakho.
> Imithombo
- > I-Diaconu-Gherasim LR, iMăirean C. Ukuqonda kweendlela zokuzali zabazali kunye nokuphumelela kwezemfundo: Inxaxheba ejongene neMigqaliselo yeNjongo. Ukwahlukana nokuFunda komntu ngamnye . Julayi 2016; 49: 378-385. i-doi: 10.1016 / j.lindif.2016.06.026.
- > Matejevic M, Todorovic J, Jovanovic AD. Iimpawu zentsapho yokuSebenza kunye nobukhulu bobuhlobo bomzali. I-Procedia-Social and Behavioral Sciences . Agasti 25, 2014; 141: 431-437. i-doi: 10.1016 / j.sbspro.2014.05.075.
- > Santrock JW. Indlela yokuThuthukisa ukuPhila kweeSpanish. Wesi-7. ENew York: i-McGraw-Hill; 2014.
- > Stassen KB. Umntu ophuhlisayo ngokuPhila. We-10. I-New York: AbaPashi Abafanelekileyo; 2017.