Kubantu abaninzi, akukho nto ibetha indlebe eqinisekisiweyo kunye nehlombe ukuxhomekeka ekuhambeni kokuba nzima. Kuphela isenzo sokuxelela umhlobo oxhasayo malunga noko kukunyanzela ukuba unokwenza iingxaki zibonakala zilawulwa ngakumbi, kwaye kunokukwenza uzive ukhululekile ekusebenzelaneni nabo. Ukuba umhlobo ulungile kakhulu ekuphulaphuleni nasekuqinisekiseni, abaqhelekanga ukuba bafumane isiluleko, njengoko isenzo sokuva nokuva kudla ngokusinceda sifike kwindawo enokuthula xa sikwazi ukufikelela kwizinto zethu zobulumko kunye nezinto zokusebenza. ukuza nezicwangciso zethu ezingcono.
Ngenxa yale nto nezinye izizathu, abahlobo abalungileyo bangenza yonke imohluko. Enyanisweni, inkxaso yentlalo iboniswe zifundo ezininzi zophando ukuba zilungiselele kakhulu uxinzelelo kwaye zihambelana neziphumo zempilo ezintle, okwenza kube nzima ukukhululeka.
Iziphumo zokuxinwa kwengcinezelo yenkxaso yezenhlalakahle, nangona kunjalo, zinokunciphisa ubundlobongela. Usenokuba uyayazi le nto intuitively: xa uthetha kumhlobo malunga nento ekukukhathazayo kwaye loo mhlobo uphendula ngokukrakra okanye ukuzondla okunobundlobongela, uzive ungakumbi kunokuba ungcono. Hayi nje kuphela ukucaphukisa malunga noko kukukukhathazayo, kodwa ngoku unokuva buhlungu ngenxa yokungabi nangovelwano lomngane wakho, unokungabaza ukuvakalelwa zakho iimvakalelo kunye namandla angaphakathi, okanye zombini. Ngenxa yesi sizathu, sonke siyakwazi ukufunda ukuba sinokuphi kwaye asikwazi ukuya kwiingxaki zethu. Uphando oluthakazelisayo olusuka kwiYunivesithi yaseBrigham Young luqinisekisa ukuba, kwiimeko apho abantu bexubusha nomhlobo ngezinto ezimbi ezibangele ukuxinezeleka, abo bathathi-nxaxheba abaye bafumana inkani enkulu (kubandakanya ukungabikho nokwethemba) bephakamisa uxinzelelo lwegazi xa kuthelekiswa nabangabikho abathathi-nxaxheba.
Oku kwabanyanisekileyo kwabo babenikela ngenkxaso yoluntu kunye nabo bafumanayo. Usenokungayifumani, kodwa ekugwemeni abahlobo abanenzondelelo xa ufuna inkxaso, ugcina ingcinezelo kubo bobabini.
Olunye uphando lufumene ukuba imitshato apho amaqabane aqinisekisana kunye nokwabelana ngemithwalo yabo yinto evuyayo.
Oku kunengqiqo - sichitha ixesha elininzi kunye nabafazi bethu ngaphezu kobomi bonke ukuba xa unomlingane omele umthwalo onjalo, ubhekisela ukuba uyaqonda ukuba unomsebenzi obini owenzayo; Ukuba unomlingane onokukuncedisa ngamaxesha anxinzelelekileyo, nonke niziva nixinezelekile kwaye nisenokungabikho ngokukhululeka ngenxa yoko, kwaye oko kuthetha ukuxinezeleka ngokubanzi. Nezinye iindaba ezilungileyo: le mitshato iphinda idlulele. Ngethamsanqa, lolu hlobo lomtshato luyinto eqhelekileyo (inxalenye engaphantsi kwesiqingatha semitshato iqulethe oku kuguquguqukayo), kwaye inkxaso efumaneka kule mitshato ingakwazi ukunciphisa ingcinezelo.
Olunye uphando lufumanise ukuba uhlobo lokuxhaswa kunye nokuxhaswa ngokomzwelo olunikezwayo lunokwenza umehluko phakathi koxinzelelo olungakumbi kunye ncinane. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba amaqabane aqhubeka nokunikela iingcebiso ezininzi, ingakumbi ukuba ingengcebiso engacelanga , yenze uxinzelelo olungakumbi kunokuba lukhululekile. Oku kungabonakala kungenangqondo kumlingane ofuna kuphela ukunceda ukunciphisa uxinzelelo ngokulungisa ingxaki kwingcambu yayo; , nangona kunjalo, kubini: xa isiluleko sinikezelwa, kuyinkcazo efihlakeleyo yokuba "umcebisi" ukholelwa ukuba "i-advicee" ayikwazi ukuza neziphakamiso zabo. Kwakhona, izisombululo umcebisi oza kunye nazo zingenakulungelelanisa kakuhle imeko, kwaye oku kunokubangela uxinzelelo kumacala omabini njengoko umcebisi-mcebisi angaziva engabalulekanga kwaye ummkeli angaziva ekhungathekile.
Ekugqibeleni, ukukhungatheka kungabangela ukuba iqabane lifuna ngokwenene ukuxhaswa kwengqondo ukuze bafike kwindawo ababeziva beqinisekileyo kwaye banikwe amandla okufumana izicombululo zabo, kodwa ke babhekana nenye ingxabano.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, akunakwenzeka ukuba kufumaneke kakhulu " umxhaswa wokubaluleka ," nje kuphela. Kuqhelekileyo ukufumana inkxaso encinci kunokufumana ezininzi, kodwa ukufumana uhlobo olufanelekileyo lokuxhaswa kubalulekile, kwaye akusoloko kwenzeka. Ukwazi ukuba luhlobo luni lenkxaso yokunika kubalulekile. Kwaye xa usinika uhlobo olufanelekileyo lwexhasano ebuhlotsheni bakho, uthanda ukufumana kwakhona.
Ubudlelwane apho abantu baziva bexhaswa kwaye baqinisekisiwe banomdla wokuqhaqhaqhayisa ngokumalunga noxinzelelo.
Oku akugxininisi kuphela ukubaluleka kokuba neetyala ezilungileyo zokuphulaphula -kuba umphulaphuli ongenakukwazi ukuyenza umntu othandayo ovalela umphefumlo wabo uzive engakumbi kunokuba abe ngcono-kodwa ukusebenza kanzima ukukhuthaza ubudlelwane obomeleleyo, ukuthembela kunye nabantu abasondeleyo kuthi, ngoko sinokunika nokufumana inkxaso yentlalo ngeendlela ezilungileyo kuwo wonke umntu. Ukuphepha ingxabano kungcono kunokubandakanyeka ekunxibelelweni okuthandanayo, kodwa kunempilo kwaye kunenzuzo ekufundeni izicwangciso zokunxibelelana okunempilo , ukunyamekela kunye nomlingani wakho, kwaye usebenze ekugcineni ubudlelwane ngendlela enonwabo nangempilo. Ezi zilandelayo zixhobo ezinokukunceda.
Izibonelelo zobudlelwane base Elizabeth Elizabeth:
Umthombo:
Holt-Lunstad J, Smith TW, Uchino BN. Ngaba Ukholo luyakwazi ukungena kwiNzuzo yezeMpilo yokuBanika nokuFumana iNkxaso yeNtlalo? Impembelelo Yobuntshutshiso kwi-Cardiovascular Reactivity Ngexesha leNkxaso yeNtlalo Ukusebenzisana Phakathi kwabahlobo. Iziganeko zeMpilo yoLuntu . Juni 27, 2008.