Njalo xa ufikelela kwifowuni xa unemihla embi, yamkela uncedo xa uxinzelelekile, okanye uphendule kwi-intanethi ukufumana ulwazi kumntu ngendlela yokusingatha uxinzelelo, ubonisa ukuba uyazi ukuba uphando luni kuboniswa ngokuphindaphindiweyo: ukuba iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zenkxaso yoluntu zinokunceda ngokwenene uxinzelelo! Nangona kunjalo, zonke iintlobo zenkxaso yentlalo asinakuchaphazela okufanayo-intetho ende kunye nomhlobo onobubele uziva ehlukileyo kwintetho nomntu onamacebiso amaninzi okubonelela, kwaye ezo ntlobo zenkxaso yezenhlalakahle zihluke ngohlobo lwenkxaso umqeqeshi okanye umgqirha unokunikela.
Ngaba kukho uhlobo olungcono lwemali yoluntu? Kwaye zithintela njani iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zentlalo?
Iintlobo ezine zeNkxaso yeNtlalo
Nangona kukho iindlela ezahlukeneyo abantu abanokuxhasana ngazo, uphando oluninzi luyenziwe kwimiphumo yezinto ezine ezihlukeneyo zenkxaso yentlalo:
- Inkxaso Yengqondo: Olu hlobo lenkxaso luhlala lubandakanya induduzo yangokwenyama efana ne-hugs okanye ipasti ngasemva, kunye nokuphulaphula nokuvalela. Ngenkxaso yomzwelo, umhlobo okanye umlingane angakuncenga kwaye uphulaphule iingxaki zakho, ekutsheleni ukuba baziva ngendlela efanayo, nabo.
- Ukuxhasa Inkxaso: Olu hlobo lwenkxaso yoluntu luboniswa kwiintetho zentembelo okanye isikhuthazo. Umntu onika inkxaso ngenkxaso unokubonisa ukuba unamandla okukukhumbulayo, okanye nje akuxelele ukuba bakholelwa kuwe. Abaqeqeshi bezoBomi kunye nabaphengululi abaninzi banikela lolu hlobo lenkxaso yokuvumela abaxhasi babo ukuba bakholwe kuzo; Oku kudla ngokukhokelela kubathengi abazikholelwayo ngakumbi.
- Inkxaso-nkcukacha: Abo banikayo ngenkxaso-nkcukacha benza njalo ngohlobo lokunika iingcebiso, okanye ukuqokelela ulwazi nokwabelana ngolwazi.
- Inkxaso ebonakalayo: Inkxaso ebonakalayo ibandakanya ukuthatha uxanduva lomnye umntu ukuze bakwazi ukujongana nengxaki okanye ngezinye iindlela ezithatha isimo esisebenzayo ukunceda umntu ukulawula ingxaki abajongene nayo. Omnye onikezela ngenkxaso ebonakalayo unokukuzisa isidlo xa usagula, kukunceda uqikelele izixazululo (kunokuba akuxelele oko kufuneka ukwenze, njengenkxaso yenkcazelo), okanye ngezinye iindlela kukunceda ukujamelana nombandela okhoyo.
Ziziphi iindidi zeNkxaso yeNtlalo eSebenza kakuhle?
Zonke ezi ntlobo zenkxaso yentlalo 'yomsebenzi', kodwa kungekhona kuwo wonke umntu, kwaye kungekhona ngeendlela ezifanayo. Abantu abahlukeneyo banqwenela uhlobo oluthile okanye intsebenziswano okanye iintlobo ezimbalwa zenkxaso yoluntu. Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele, nangona kunjalo, ukuba uhlobo olusilungileyo lwenkxaso lunokuthi lube nempembelelo enobungozi, ngoko kunceda ukwazi ukuba luphi uhlobo lwenkxaso yoluntu olufunekayo kwimeko nganye.
Nazi ezinye zeziphumo zophando:
- Ngaba unako ukufumana inkxaso eninzi! Isifundo esisodwa, esabandakanya amadoda namakhosikazi angama-103 abagqibile uphando ngokuphindaphindiweyo ezintlanu kwiminyaka yabo emihlanu yokuqala yomtshato, bajonga indlela inkxaso eyanikezwa ngayo kunye nokwaneliseka komtshato. Kufumene ukuba inkxaso eninzi yolwazi (ngokuqhelekileyo ngesimo seengcebiso ezingenakunyanzelwa) ingaba yimbi ngakumbi kunokuba ingekho inkxaso kuyo yonke. (Ndifumene into eqinisekisayo, nangona kunjalo, awukwazi ukunika inkxaso eninzi kakhulu; akukho mali yokuxhaswa 'yinto eninzi', nje ngokuba yinyani.)
- Inkxaso encinane kakhulu iyaxhaphaka kuninzi kakhulu. Uphando olufanayo lufumanisa ukuba malunga neyesibini kwantathu yamadoda kunye nabancinci be-80% yabasetyhini bafumene befumana inkxaso encinci, ngelixa enye yesithathu yamadoda nabasetyhini bathi bafumana inkxaso engaphezulu kunokuba bayifuna.
- Olunye uphando, oluhlolisise abantu abangama-235 abasandul 'ukutshata, bafumanisa ukuba bobabini abalingani banomdla ngakumbi xa umyeni efumana iintlobo zenkxaso yentlalo efuna kakhulu. Kubafazi, kwakwanele ukuba umyeni wayezama nje ukunikela ngenkxaso, nangona engazange alungiselele ngokufanelekileyo uhlobo olulungileyo.
Into ebalulekileyo ukuba uyikhumbule kukuba kukho iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zenkxaso yoluntu kwaye unokufuna ukucela uhlobo oluthile olufunayo, ngakumbi emtshatweni. "Ingcamango yokuba ukuxhasa umtshato wakho kukungcono," utshilo u-Erika Lawrence, uprofesa onxulumene nengqondo kwiKholeji ye-UI yoBugcisa boBugcisa nezoSayensi, kunye nomphenyi okhokelayo kulezi zifundo.
"Ngokuqhelekileyo amadoda nabafazi bacinga ukuba," Ukuba iqabane lam liyamazi kwaye liyamthanda, uyazi ukuba ndiyakhathazeka kwaye uyazi indlela onokuncedisa ngayo. "Nangona kunjalo, akuyona indlela efanelekileyo yokuthetha nomtshato wakho. Akufuneki ukuba ngumfundi weengqondo. Ababini baya kuba novuyo xa befunda indlela yokuthi , 'Nantsi indlela endiziva ngayo, kwaye unje unokunceda.' "
Ungacingi ukuba uyazi ukuba uluphi uhlobo lwenkxaso lakho iqabane, abahlobo okanye izalamane zifuna; Kukulungele ukuhlola ukungena nabantu ukuze ubone ukuba inkxaso enikezelayo ishaya uphawu. Ukuba akunjalo, kubalulekile ukuvula ingxoxo ukuze ubone ukuba zinjani iintlobo zenkxaso yentlalo efunekayo apha. Yaye uqaphele ukuba zeziphi iintlobo zenkxaso enokuzibona zilungele wena, ngoko unako ukunxibelelana nabo kubathandekayo bakho. Akukuhle ukulindela abantu ukuba bafunde ingqondo yakho xa kuziwa kwinkxaso yentlalo-kwaye ayiphumelelanga. Mane ucele into oyifunayo.
Umthombo:
Brock RL, Lawrence E. Kuninzi into entle: ngaphantsi kokuhlaziywa ngokubhekiselele kwenkxaso yenkxaso yabalingani. I-Journal ye-Psychology yasekhaya , uEpreli 2009.