Yintoni ekufuneka ixelise ngayo ukuxinezeleka kwengxaki
Yonke imitshato ixabana ngexesha elithile, njengoko izibini zizabalazela ukwenza izigqibo ezibalulekileyo kwaye zihambele ubomi. Indlela esisingatha ngayo le mpikiswano ingachaza ubudlelwane, kwaye yenze ibe nolonwabo okanye uxinzeleleke ngakumbi. Ababini abasebenzisa ukungavumelani ukuze baqonde kangcono omnye unokusondela, ngelixa abo baqhekeza phantsi ngexesha lempikiswano badla ukuba nobundlobongela kunye nokukhungatheka kobudlelwane babo.
Siyazi okwethutyana kwithuba elithile, kodwa uphando lubonisa iinkcukacha malunga nokuba bangaphi abantu abasemibhangqwana edibeneyo, kunye nantoni na ubuhlobo obunxulumene nolonwabo olukhulu lomtshato kunye nobomi obude.
Indlela Osingatha ngayo Impikiswano Yomtshato Wakho
Abaphandi baseYunivesithi yasePenn State bahlolisise iinkcukacha ezivela kwiibhangqa eziyi-1000 kwaye bajonga ukuqhubela phambili kobudlelwano babo phakathi ne-20 iminyaka. Ngexesha lophando, bafumana iipateni ezithakazelisayo. Balinganisa amaqabane omtshato womtshato / ukwaneliseka kunye nokuphikisana, ukuwahlukanisa ngokuthi "phezulu," "phakathi" (kufuphi nentsingiselo), kwaye "uphantsi" kwimizila yomibini, kwaye ubhale ubude bomtshato (kunye namazinga umtshato) kunye. Enye into abayifumene kukuba indlela ezazisetyenziswa ngayo izibini ezithandanayo zazingena kwiintlobo ezine, ezazisondelene kunye nendlela ovuyoleyo kwaye ozinzile ngayo imitshato efuna ukuyenza.
Imitshato eyonwabileyo kunye nengapheliyo yinto abaphandi ababethetha ngayo "imitshato" yomtshato, eyayibonakaliswe ngokuthatha isigqibo. Le mitshato, eyayiyingxenye ephezulu yemitshato-54%-ephakathi phakathi ukuya kumazinga aphezulu enwabileyo, kunye neqondo eliphakathi ukuya kumgangatho ophantsi weengxabano.
Umtshato osebenzayo udlalwa njengento efanelekileyo kuba zibini zithandana kwaye zonwabile. Sifumene ukuba kule mitshato, iqabane ngalinye libelwana ngokwenza izigqibo nakwimisebenzi yasendlini, "uKlaire Kamp Dush, omnye wabaphandi, wathi kukhululiwe. Le mitshato yayilindeleke ukuba iphele.
Ingxabano engaphendulwanga Yongeza ingcinezelo
Iqela elincinane elonwabileyo lachongwa "njengento engathandekiyo," kwaye ibonakaliswe yimilinganiselo ephakamileyo yeengxabano kunye namanqanaba aphakamileyo aphakamileyo yolonwabo. I-20% yabathathi-nxaxheba babebandakanyekile kwimitshato engatshatanga, kwaye ezi zinto zazincinci kuneemitshato ezisemthethweni.
Ndonwabile kakhulu yiqela "elichasayo", elenza i-20% yezibini kwaye zinobudlelwane obunzima kakhulu. Akumangalisi, eli qela lalisenokwenzeka ukuba uqhawule umtshato. Olunye uphando lubonisa ukuba iingxabano zingabangela uxinzelelo olukhulu kunye nezinye iingxaki ngokunjalo, eli qela liza kuba lifuna izicwangciso ezintsha zokujongana nokungavumelani kwazo.
Iqela lesine, imitshato "yokugwema", inxibelelana encinane, kodwa yayonwabile kwaye yayinobudlelwane obungapheliyo kunokuba ngababini abathandekayo okanye abanobutsha. Ezi zibini zineemveli zendabuko apho amadoda ayengabandakanyekanga kwimisebenzi yendlu kwaye apho abathathi-nxaxheba bakholelwa kwimitshato yomtshato.
UDush uthi: "Ezi ziqabane zikholelwa kwiimboli zesini, kwaye ziye zagwema ukungquzulana ngenxa yeenkolelo zabo emtshatweni wobomi. Ezi zibini zazingenakwenzeka ukuqhawula umtshato. "
Njengemishado evumelekileyo, imitshato yokugwema inamacandelwana aphantsi, kodwa ibonwa njengento engaphelelanga ngokupheleleyo. "Ukugwema ingxabano kunokubangela izibini ukuphepha ezinye iintlobo zokuzibandakanya kunye neqabane labo," kutsho uDush. Umtshato ophilileyo ufuna ukuba bobabini abatshatileyo benze kwaye batyalwe ulwalamano. "
Ukuba umtshato wakho awukho apho ungathanda ukuba khona, kukho iindaba ezilungileyo. Nangona olu phofu lophando lungazange lubandakanye ukungenelelo oluthile, iindlela ezithile zokunxibelelana zixhamle kunye nolonwabo olukhulu, kwaye ezi zindlela zingaphuhliswa.
Ngokuqwalasela, ukuzisebenzisa, kunye nexesha, izakhono zonxibelelwano ezinempilo zingaphuhliswa , kwaye ukwaneliseka okwaneleyo kunokwenziwa.
Imithombo:
UClaire M. Kamp Dush kunye noMiles G. Taylor. Iingxaki zengxabano zomtshato kwiCandelo loBomi: Ukuqaphelisa kunye nokusebenzisana kunye neNjabulo yomtshato. Ingxelo Yemiba Yentsapho, ngoJuni 3, 2011; yokuqala yapapashwa ngoJuni 3, 2011.
Pollock, uAlann D., Die, uAn H., uMarriott, uRichard G. (1990). Ubudlelwane besitayela soNxibelelwano kwizinto ezilindelekileyo zomtshato. Umbhalo we-Social Psychology , Vol. 130, Issue 5.