Ngaba Iseluleko Esingaceliyo Senza Ubandezeleke?
Ukuqonda okunzulu kunokuvela ekucebiseni iingcebiso kwiingcali, okanye nje kumhlobo obonakala enomdla ethatha isihloko esithile somdla. Ukucela iqela labantu, kwanabantu abangaziwayo, ukufumana iingcebiso kunokubonelela ngeengcamango ezintle. Kodwa kuthekani malunga neengcebiso xa unikezelwa? Oomama abatsha, abafundi beekholeji, kunye nabantu abasebenzisana noluntu banokukwazi ukufumana iingcebiso ezingenakucelelwa kubahlobo, entsapho, okanye abangaziwayo, kodwa abaninzi bethu banamava ngamanye amaxesha.
Kwaye akusoloko uziva uncedo.
Iingcebiso ezingenakunyanzelwa zingabangela uxinzelelo ixesha elide. Ngokuqhelekileyo unokuziva ngathi ukugxekwa ngaphezu kokuncedwa xa umntu enikezela ukuba athathe oko ungakwenza ngcono. (Ngamanye amaxesha abagwebi, kwaye ukuzivikela kwethu okwenza iingcebiso zive ngathi zigxekwa, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha zigweba kwaye iimvakalelo zethu zikhona. ukuba iingcebiso zabo azamkelwa kwaye zilandelwe. Xa icebiso lingazive lilungele kuwe, le nto inokukubeka kwindawo enzima kwaye idale ukukhungatheka kunye nokucaphuka kwamacala omabini. Abantu abanikezela ngcebiso engacelwayo banokuba neenjongo ezintle (nangona oku akusoloko kunjalo), kodwa akusoloko uvakalelwa uncedo. Ukuqonda iinjongo zabo, nangona kunjalo, kunokunceda.
Abantu banikela iingcebiso ngezizathu ezininzi, ezinye zazo zizinjongo ezilungileyo, abanye bangaphantsi.
Kudideka ukwazi into enokuyenza ngazo zonke iintlobo zeengcebiso ezingenakunqunyelwayo esizifumanayo, ngoko kunceda ukuhlola apho amagama angase avela khona. Nazi ezinye zezizathu eziqhelekileyo abantu abaphoqelelwe ukuba banike iingcebiso ezingabongoziwe:
Iinjongo eziNcedisayo kwiNgcebiso engenziwanga:
- Altruism: Ngokuqhelekileyo abantu banikela iingcebiso ngenxa yesizathu esilula ukuba bacinga ukukunceda, kwaye bafuna ukwenza ubomi bakho bube lula. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba kunjalo, iinjongo zabo zithandabuza . Mhlawumbi kukhona into abayayaziyo yokuba bacinga ukusebenza ngokusemgangathweni kunye nemeko okanye ubuntu bakho, kwaye bafuna ukukuncothela into enokuphucula ubomi bakho okanye ukunciphisa uxinzelelo lwakho. Ingakumbi ukuba uthetha nabo ngengxaki, nokuba ngaba ufuna nje ukuqinisekiswa okanye ukuxhaswa ngokomzwelo, abantu banokucinga ukuba ukhangele iimpendulo, kwaye unokuba uziva uxinzelelo lokuba unikeze ezo mpendulo.
- Ubuhlobo: Ngamanye amaxesha iingcebiso ezingaceliweyo zinikezwa ngumfokazi njengendlela yokuqalisa incoko. Inokunikwa kwakhona ngumhlobo ukuba mhlawumbi uxoxe . Abahlobo bahlala becinga ukuba banokukunceda ngokukunika isisombululo, nokuba awuzange ucele enye. Olu hlobo lweengcebiso lunentsingiselo efanelekileyo kwaye lunokuthi luncedo.
- Inomdla: Ngamanye amaxesha, iingcebiso ezingenakunikwa zivela kulabo bafumene into ebenza kubo, kwaye bafuna ukwabelana nabo ngehlabathi. Bayijonga imeko yakho njengento efanelekileyo ngokufanelekileyo kule mveliso emitsha, isixhobo okanye udidi lobulumko obwenza ubomi babo bube bhetele ngakumbi, kwaye unqwenela ukuba umntu ubenokubaxelela ngokukhawuleza, ngoko babelane. Kuqhelekile kubantu abaye bajamelana nemingeni efanayo kunye nawe kwaye bafumana isisombululo esikhulu sokuba bafune ukwabelana ngesisombululo, ukuba "impendulo" yabo iya kukuchaphazela ngendlela efanayo.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuba isiluleko sinxulumene neemeko zakho okanye imeko ethile, okanye ungeyiphi imeko, le ngcebiso ivakalelwa ngokufanelekileyo ukufumana.
Isisombululo Esincinci Esincinci Sengcebiso Engafunwa:
- Ukuncedisa ukuba kufuneke: Abantu abacebisa iingcebiso ezingaceliweyo kule nkxalabo banokuba nolwazi oluninzi kwindawo ethile ephathelele imeko yakho kwaye banomuva wokufuna ukwabelana nabantu ukuze bazive bexabiseke kwaye kubalulekile.
- Ukuziva Uncedo: Ukuba uxelela iimvakalelo zakho kunye nokukhathazeka nabo, abanye abantu bangathanda ukukunceda nokuzama ukulungisa ingxaki yakho njengendlela yokunceda. Ukuba ngaba nguwe owakucinga, mkhulu. Kodwa ukuba ufuna nje indlebe encedisayo okanye ukuqinisekiswa okufutshane , ngamanye amaxesha abantu abanakukwazi ukutshintsha umahluko kwaye banikele ngcebiso esikhundleni. (Oku kudlalwa ngamadoda kunye nabasetyhini xa abafazi befuna ukwabelana ngeengxaki zabo ngendlela yokuziva baqondakala ukuze bakwazi ukulungisa ingxaki ngokunyamezela, kodwa amadoda afuna ukugxila ekujonganeni neengxaki ukwenzela ukuba abafazi baya uzive ungcono ngenxa yalo.)
- Abagulayo Ukuyiva: Ukuba uhlala usabelana ngeengxaki zakho kunye neemvakalelo zabantu njengendlela 'yokuhamba', kodwa ungathathi amanyathelo ekuxazululeni uqobo lwakho, masijongane nayo: nokuba ngaba bayazi ukuba ufuna ukuthetha , bazama ukukwenza ukuba wenze into eyakhayo kunokuba uqhubeke uveza. Oku kusebenza kuphela kwiimeko ezithile zeengcebiso ezingafunekiyo, kwaye, ekujonge ngaphakathi, uya kukwazi ukuba oku kusebenza kuwe.
- I-Narcissism: Abanye abantu, ngokukodwa abo abanokuthambekela kweengcamango , kufuneka babe yinxaxheba 'yothisha' malunga naso sonke ixesha, okanye mhlawumbi nje ukuva ngokwabo. Iingcebiso zabo zihlala zihlala zide kwaye zihlale zilungele imeko yakho, kodwa zingenakubungozi. Aba bantu kaninzi abanakucinga ukuba iingcebiso zabo aziyi kuba yimpendulo oyifunayo, nangona ingafanelanga imeko yakho.
Olu hlobo lweengcebiso, nangona kunjalo lungekho nangozi, lunokuziva luncedo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha luchaphazelekayo kwimiba yakho, kodwa kaninzi.
Okungaphantsi Okuncedisayo Okusinceda Ngcebiso Engafunanga:
- Ukusekwa kobukhosi: Abanye abacebisi-abacebisi bangathanda ukuthatha indima 'yomntu owaziyo ngakumbi' kunye nolwalamano olunamandla, kwaye ukunika iingcebiso kubabeka kuloo ndawo.
- Ukugqithisa Isigwebo: Ngamanye amaxesha xa abantu bebonile okuthile kuni abangayithandiyo, banikeza iingcebiso ezingaceliweyo njengendlela yokutshintsha. Le ngcebiso inokuhlala ivakalelwa njengento yokuthuka ngaphezu kwenzame yokwenene yokunceda.
- Umnqweno weDrama: Ukholelwa okanye akunjalo, abanye abantu bathanda ukungquzulana, bathande ukuva bebambisana, baze bafumane umva wamandla abo ngokuxelela abanye indlela abaphosakeleyo ngayo. Abantu abanjalo, ngokuqaphelayo okanye abangazi kakuhle, bathambekele ekunikezeni iingcebiso ezininzi njengendlela yokukhupha izihloko zokuxubusha.
Olu hlobo lweengcebiso lunolwazi oluninzi malunga neengcebiso-umniki kunani, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha unokuziva ngathi u-snub oqhawulayo okanye utyumbile ebusweni, kwaye ushiye imvakalelo engenakukhathazeka, nokuba awukwazi ukuba kutheni.
Emva kokuba ucinga malunga neengcebiso ezivela phi, kwaye uhlolisise iingcamango zakho neemvakalelo zakho ukuba ubone ukuba mhlawumbi unengxaki yokukhathazeka, unokukwazi kakuhle indlela yokusingatha iingcebiso ezingaceliyo.