UkuCinga ngeengozi zokoyiko lokulahlwa
Ukwesaba ukugatywa kukuloyiko olunamandla oluvakalayo lunempembelelo enkulu kwimpilo yethu. Uninzi lwabantu luva neentlungu xa zibeka kwiimeko ezingakhokelela ekugatheni, kodwa kwabanye abantu, uloyiko luba lukhuni. Ukwesaba okungakhange kukhatywe ukulahlwa kuya kuba nzima ngaphezu kwexesha, kuthatha kancane kancane yonke inxalenye yobomi bentswelo.
Iimpembelelo zokoyiko lokulahlwa
Nangona kungekhona wonke umntu ochaphazelekayo, ukwesaba ukulahlwa kuthintela ukukwazi ukuphumelela kwiimeko ezininzi zobuqu kunye neengcali. Zizo ezinye zezona ziqhelekileyo.
Udliwano-ndlebe
Ngaba uye waziva ufudumele kwaye ungonwabi xa ulinde ukubizwa ngokuba udliwano-ndlebe? Izindwangu zengqungquthela, ukuphefumula, ukunyuka kwentliziyo kunye nokuxhalabisa ukuthetha kuthetha iimpawu eziqhelekileyo zokwesaba ukulahlwa. Kwakhona zizathu zokuba umqeshi anqabe umviwa. Ukuzithemba kunye nomoya wegunya kugxininisekile kwiindawo ezininzi, kwaye abo bahlala beloyiko badla ngobuthathaka kunye nokungaqiniseki. Ukuba unokwesaba ukukhishwa, unokuba neengxaki zokuxoxisana nekhontrakthi yomsebenzi, ushiye umvuzo kunye neenzuzo kwitafile.
Iingxoxo zoShishino
Kwiindawo ezininzi, imfuno yokumangalisa ayipheli xa unomsebenzi.
Abaxhamli abaxhamli, uxoxisana ngamadili, ukuthengisa iimveliso kunye nokutsala abatyalomali ziyinxalenye ebalulekileyo yemisebenzi emininzi. Nokuba into elula njengokuphendula umnxeba inokuyikrakra kulabo ababhekene nokwesaba ukukhishwa, kunye nokuthatha ifowuni ukubiza omnye umntu akunakwenzeka.
Ukutshata
Imihla yokuqala, kwaye imiphumo engaboniyo iyimangalisa nayiphi na umntu, kodwa abo abanokwesaba ukukhishwa banokukhawuleza.
Kunokuba ugxile ekubeni ukwazi omnye umntu kwaye unqume ukuba ungathanda umhla wesibini, unokuchitha lonke ixesha lakho uxhalaba nokuba loo mntu uyakuthanda. Ingxaki yokuthetha, ukukhathazeka ngokugqithiseleyo ngokubonakala kwakho, ukungakwazi ukutya kunye nesimo esinobuhlungu esicacileyo.
Umtshato
Ubomi obatshatileyo buqulethe uchungechunge olungapheliyo lweengxoxo kunye nokunciphisa. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba uhambelana njani, akunakwenzeka ukuba abantu ababini bavumelane nayo yonke into. Abo banokwesaba ukukhishwa bahlala bebunzima ukuveza iimfuno zabo kunye nokuma kwabo. Unokuthi uhlakulele iimvakalelo okanye ungathembeli kwiqabane lakho njengoko ukwesaba ukukhishwa kwakho kuba yinto yokwesaba ukushiywa. Ngamanye amaxesha kuboniswa ngokuziphatha okunjalo kakubi njengoko uhlola imiyalezo yefowuni yakho okanye i-akhawunti ye-intanethi ye-intanethi.
Ukuhlangana nabantu abatsha
Abantu bazidalwa zentlalo, kwaye kulindeleke ukuba silandele izinto ezintle zoluntu kuluntu. Uninzi lwexesha, ingxoxo engenzi lutho kwindawo yokutya okanye kumthendeleko uhlala ixesha elifutshane nje. Ngezinye izihlandlo, iingxoxo ezimfutshane zikhokelela kubomi obungunaphakade. Ukuba unokwesaba ukukhishwa, unokuziva ungenakukwazi ukuthetha nabantu abangabaziyo okanye ngabahlobo bamhlobo.
Ukuthambekela kokuzigcina kuwe kunokukukhusela ukuba ungabinxibelelwano ngonaphakade nabanye.
Ifuthe labangani
Imfuno yokuba ngumntu wesiseko esisisiseko somntu. Esikolweni esiphakeme, sithatha ukuzikhethela njengama-jocks, cheerleaders, nerds, geeks, goths, preppies, okanye nayiphi na inamanye amaqela amancinci. Njengabantu abadala, sivame ukulungelelanisa ngemibandela ekwabelwana ngayo, ubuhlobo bentsebenziswano kunye nezinye izinto ezifanayo. Nangona ukugqoka, ukuthetha nokuziphatha njengelungu leqela akusiyo impilo, uxinzelelo lwabaontanga maxa wambi luya kude kakhulu. Ukuba ukwesaba ukukhishwa kukukhokelela ukwenza izinto ezingekho mthethweni, ukuziphatha okubi okanye ukuphazamiseka kuwe, ngoko uxinzelelo lwontanga lunokuba yingxaki ebomini bakho.
Ukuxhaphaza okuqhelekileyo kulabo banokwesaba ukulahlwa
Ubungqina
Abantu abaninzi abesaba ukukhishwa bahlakulela indlela yokuphila ngokucophelela kwaye ibhalwe phantsi. Ukwesaba ukuba uya kukhanyeka xa ubonisa ukunyanisekileyo kwakho kwihlabathi, unokuhlala ubomi emva kweemaski. Oku kunokukwenza ukhangeleke kwaye unokwenene kwabanye kwaye kunokubangela ukunganqweneli okunzima ukufumana imingeni yobomi.
Abantu-Ukuzonwabisa
Nangona kungokwemvelo ukuba sifune ukunyamekela abo sibathandayo, abo bayesaba ukukhishwa bahlala kude kakhulu. Unokufumanisa ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuthetha, hayi xa uthi u-yeyona ibangela ukuphazamiseka okukhulu okanye ubunzima ebomini bakho. Unokuthatha kakhulu, ukwandisa umngcipheko wakho wokutshiswa. Ngokwexesha elidlulileyo, ngokukholisa abantu ngokukhawuleza kuphendukela ekunikeni ukuziphatha okubi kwabanye. Unenkxalabo yokuba uya kulahlekelwa ngumnye umntu, unokwenza izizathu okanye uncedise nomntu ekuziphatheni owaziyo aphuthayo.
Ukungabonakali
Abantu abanokwesaba ukulahlwa bahlala bephuma kwindlela yabo yokuphepha ukulwa. Unokwenqaba ukucela into oyifunayo okanye nokuba uthethe into oyifunayo. Umkhuba oqhelekileyo kukuba uzame ukuvala izidingo zakho okanye uzenzele ukuba azinandaba.
I-Passive-Aggressiveness
Ukungaxhatshazi ukubonakalisa ukunyaniseka kwabo kodwa bengenakukwazi ukuvalela ngokupheleleyo iimfuno zabo, abantu abaninzi abamoyikiyo yokugatya baphela ekuziphatheni ngendlela engathandekiyo. Unokumisa, "ukhohlwa" ukugcina izithembiso, isikhalazo, kwaye usebenze ngokungafanelekanga kwiiprojekthi ozithathayo.
Ukongezelela, ukwesaba ukugatywa kusoloko kusiyeka ekulandeleni amaphupha ethu. Ukuzibeka ngaphandle kunokwesabisa kunoma ubani, kodwa ukuba ukwesaba ukukhishwa, unokuziva ukhubazekile. Ukuxhoma kwi-status quo uziva ukhuselekile, nokuba awuhlali ujabule ngeemeko zakho zangoku. Nokuba ufuna ukuhamba ngehlabathi, bhala incwadana enkulu ye-Great American okanye ubuze intombazana ehleli eceleni kwakho ngomhla, ukwesaba ukukhishwa kungakuyekelela ekufikeleleni okupheleleyo.
Ukuphendula kwabanye
Ukwesaba ukukhishwa kukukhokelela ekuziphatheni okusenza sibonakale singakhuselekanga, singenzi kakuhle kwaye sithintekile. Unokuthuthumela, ugubungele, udibanise, ugweme ukuqhagamshelana kwamehlo, kwaye ulahlekelwe nokukwazi ukuthetha ngokufanelekileyo. Nangona abantu besabela kwizinto eziziphatha ngayo ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, ezi ngenye yeempendulo ozibonayo.
Ukulahlwa
Okumangalisa kukuba, ukwesaba ukugatywa ngokuqhelekileyo kuya kuba sisiprofeto esizizalisayo . Kuyaziwayo kwiengqondo ze-pop ezithembekileyo zikhuthaza ukhenketho. Uphononongo luka-2009 kwiYunivesithi yaseFlorida ngokwenene kubonisa ukuba ukuzithemba kubaluleke ngokubalulekileyo njengengqondo ekuqaliseni izinga lethu lemali engenayo! Njengomgaqo jikelele, ukungabi nantembelo ezithembekileyo kwimeko yokwesaba ukulahlwa kusenza sikwazi ukunqatshwa.
Ukunyanzelisa
Abanye abantu baxhaphaza ngokungaqinisekanga kwabanye. Abo bafumana ukwesaba ukukhishwa bangaba mngcipheko omkhulu wokuba baqhutywe ngabanye. Abaculi bezobugcisa bafumana ngokubanzi njengobumnandi, baxhaphaze kwaye banenyameko-bayazi ukuba ziphi na amaqhosha okubangela ukuba abanye bathemba. Bayazi nendlela yokugcina umntu enokwesaba ukulahlwa xa evakalelwa "ngapha nangapha," njengokungathi i-manipulator ingashiya nanini na. Phantse njalo, i-manipulator iphetha ngokushiya emva kokufumana oko akufunayo komnye umntu.
Ukukhungatheka
Uninzi lwabantu kwihlabathi lihloniphekile, linyanisekile kwaye lithe tye. Esikhundleni sokuxhaphaza umntu oyika ukukhishwa, baya kuzama ukunceda. Khangela iimpawu ukuba abahlobo bakho kunye nosapho bazama ukukhuthaza ukunyaniseka kwakho, kukucela ukuba uvule ngakumbi nabo, okanye uvavanye iimvakalelo zakho zokwenene. Noko ke, amaninzi amaninzi, abantu abamoyikiyo yokukhanyela bayakubona le mizamo yokunceda njengeempawu zendlela yokukhishwa kwangaphambili. Oku kuvame ukukhokela abahlobo kunye nosapho ukuba "bahambe ngee-eggshells", besoyika ukwenza ukwesaba ngakumbi. Ngokuhamba kwexesha, banokukhungatheka kunye nobushushu, nokuba bajongane nawe ngokuziphatha kwakho okanye baqale ukuzidela kuwe.
> Imithombo:
> I-American Psychiatric Association. (1994). Incwadana yokuxilonga kunye neenkcukacha zeengxaki zengqondo (4 Ed.). Washington, DC: Umbhali.
> Umgwebi, uTimoti A., Hurric, uCharlice noSimon, uLauren S. " Ngaba Kukhokhelwa Ukuba Yi-Smart, Inqwenela, okanye Inokuqiniseka (okanye Yonke Eyesithathu)? Ubudlelwane Phakathi kobuchule beMental General . "I-Journal ye-Applied Psychology. 2009. 94: 3. iphe. 742-755.