Uninzi lwabantu lubona uxhala kunye noyiko njengemvakalelo engathandekiyo, ingakumbi abantu abaneengxaki zokuxhalabisa ezifana nesifo sengqondo esisemva kwengxaki (post-traumatic disorder disorder (PTSD). Oku kungenxa yokuba uxhalaba kunye nokwesaba kudla ngokudibanisa nokuvaleka komzimba, njengokunyuka kwentliziyo, ukuxhatshazwa kwemisipha, ukujuluka, ukucingela iingcamango, ukuphefumula okufutshane, kunye nombono we-tunnel.
Enyanisweni, ixhala kunye noloyiko lubhekwa ngokuba "yimvakalelo ephazamisayo."
Nangona kunjalo, nangona uxhala kunye noloyiko luvakalelwa kukuba lusizi okanye alukhathazi, abayibi nhlobo. Ngokwenene bakhonza injongo ebalulekileyo, kwaye kuya kuba nzima ukufumana ebomini ngaphandle kwezi mvakalelo.
Yintoni Ukukhathazeka Neyesabiso?
Ukuxhalabisa kunye noyiko yintlungu yomntu . Ziyi-alarm alarm system. Ziya kwenzeka ekujongeni kwiimeko apho singase sengozini okanye sisengozini yento enobungozi. Ukwesaba ngumvakalelo owenzekayo xa sisesimweni esinobungozi, kanti ukuxhalaba ngumvakalelo owenzekayo xa silindele okanye silindele ukuba into engathandekiyo inokwenzeka.
Thatha umzobo wokukhwela i-coaster coaster. Ukukhathazeka yinto esiza kwenzeka ngayo njengoko sikhuphuka kuloo ntaba enkulu enkulu, silindele ukuba into eyoyikisayo iya kwenzeka ngokukhawuleza (ukuwela ngaphesheya kwentaba). Ukwesaba yinto esiyifumanayo njengoko siza kuhla kuloo ntaba enkulu.
Yintoni Yokuxhalabisa Neentloni?
Ukwesaba nokuxhalabisa kusitsho ukuba kukho uhlobo lengozi olukhoyo, kwaye zonke iimvakalelo zomzimba ezihamba kunye noyiko kunye nokuxhalabisa ngokukodwa zenzelwe ukusinceda siphendule kuloo ngozi. Basilungiselela ukuba sibaleke, sifeze, okanye silwe. Ukuxhalabisa kunye nokwesaba kuyingxenye yomzimba wethu owakhiwe "kwimpi-okanye-indiza" .
Le nkqubo ye-alamu ijikeleze ixesha elide. Mhlawumbi singenakuyenza njengentlanga yabantu ngaphandle kwayo. Ngenxa yokuba sele isebenze kakuhle kakhulu ixesha elide, liphuhliswa kakhulu. Isebenza ngokukhawuleza kunye nomgudu omncinci. Kukho, ngeendlela ezininzi, ukuphendula ngokuzenzekelayo.
Akudingeki sicinge ngale mpendulo. Asiyikuyibeka ngamabomu. Ukuba siyibona okanye siyibona ingozi, le mpendulo iyakwenziwa ngokukhawuleza ukuba siyifunayo okanye ayiyi.
Xa ukuxhalabisa kunye neloyiko liphazamisa ubomi bakho
Kungenxa yokuba uxhalabo kunye noloyiko lusebenza umsebenzi obalulekileyo kuthi, akuthethi ukuba abanalo ukuhlaselwa kwabo. Benza. Njengabantu, sinakho ukucinga nokusebenzisa ukucinga kwethu ukuza neemeko ezinokuthi sihlangane nazo kwixesha elizayo.
Ngokomzekelo, ukuba uphuma ngosuku lokuqala okanye udliwano-ndlebe, unakho ukucinga ngendlela amava angaphuma ngayo. Ukuba unokucinga ukuba zihamba kakubi, oku kuya kubangela ukuxhalaba, nangona isiphumo esibi asizange senzeke - ucinga nje ukuba enye iya kwenzeka. Ngaloo ndlela, inkqubo ye-alarm yemvelo yethu ingasebenza nangoko ukuba ingozi engokoqobo ayikho.
Ukwesaba umphumo ongekho miphumo kunokukhokelela kwindlela ethile yokuphepha yokuziphatha.
Umzekelo, ukuba silindele ukuba usuku luhambe kakubi, sinokuphepha ukuphuma kuloo mhla. Okanye, ukuba silindele ukuba udliwano-ndlebe luqhutywe kakubi, sinokufuna umsebenzi onzima okanye olula ukuwufumana. Ezi zigqibo zingaphazamisa ukwazi kwethu ukwakha ubomi obunentsingiselo kunye obuhle.
Ukongezelela, ukuxhalabisa kunye nokwesaba kungasikhupha kumzuzu. Ukuba sihlala sikhathazeke ngezinto ezimbi ezinokuthi zenzeke kubantwana bethu, kunokusithintela ukuba singabandakanyeka nabo. Sinokuphazamiseka kwaye singenakukwazi ukuchitha ixesha kunye nabo.
Ukuba ulungelelanisa ngento embi eyenzeka kuwe emini ngelixa unabo nabahlobo kunye nosapho, unokungenako ukuxhuma kwaye ujabulele ixesha lakho kunye nabo.
Ukuxhalabisa kunye noyiko kwi-PTSD
Abantu abane-PTSD banokwesaba nokuxhalaba okuqhubekayo kwaye kunamandla kunabo abangenayo i-PTSD. Kwi-PTSD, iimpendulo zomzimba-okanye-ze-flight ziba nzima kakhulu, ngoko kusebenza rhoqo. Ukongeza, abantu abane-PTSD banokuba yi-hypervigilant kumqondiso wengozi okanye isongelo kwindawo yabo. Ngenxa yoko, banokuziva behlala bephelile, bekwesaba, okanye bathe.
Ziliphi Iiluncedo?
Ukuxhalabisa kunye nokwesaba kunakho ukuhlaselwa. Ukuxhalabisa kunye noloyiko kunokubonisa ukuba into ebaluleke kakhulu kuthi. Umzekelo, ukuba ukhathazeka ngabantwana bakho, mhlawumbi kuba uyabakhathalela. Ukuba awuzange ube nolwalamano oluqinileyo kunye nabo, unokufumana uxhalabiso oluncinane.
Ukuba unxhala malunga nodliwano-ndlebe, mhlawumbi kungenxa yokuba ufuna ngokwenene umsebenzi - kubalulekile kuwe. Ukuba awukhathali ngomsebenzi okanye awuyidingi ngokwenene, mhlawumbi awuyi kufumana loo nto isongela okanye ukukhathazeka.
Ngenxa yoko, ngamanye amaxesha kunokuba kubalulekile ukugqithisa ukuxhalaba kunye nenkqubo yoyika. Nangona umzimba wethu usixelela ukuba sigweme into ethile, sinokuqhubeka phambili, ngokukodwa ukuba sisondela kwizinto ezinentsingiselo kwaye zihambelana neenjongo zethu.
Asinakho ukulawula okungakumbi kwiimvakalelo zethu okanye iingcinga zethu; Nangona kunjalo, sinokuhlala silawula ukuziphatha kwethu. Naliphi na umzuzu, kungakhathaliseki ukuba siziva njani ngaphakathi, singenza ukhetho lokuzibandakanya ekuziphatheni ezihambelana neenjongo zethu.
Ukujamelana nokukhathazeka kunye noyiko
Kukho izakhono ezininzi ezinokukwenza kube lula ukuqhubeka ebomini naphezu koxhala kunye noyiko. Ukuphefumula nokunyakaza okuqhubekayo kwimizimba emibini yindlela efanelekileyo yokujongana nokuxhalabisa kunye nokwesaba. Ingqiqo inokukunceda ukuba uthathe isinyathelo esivela kwiingcamango neemvakalelo ezingathandekiyo, kukuvumela ukuba udibanise kangcono kunye namava akho okwangoku.
Ngexesha elizayo xa unamaxhala okanye ukwesaba, jonga. Zibuze wena ukuba ukuxhalaba kubangelwa sisongelo lokwenene okanye olucingelwayo. Zama ukuqwalasela ukuba ngaba uxhalaba lunokukuxelela ukuba into ebalulekileyo okanye imicimbi kuwe, kwaye ukuba kunjalo, yenza ukhetho lokuqhubela phambili, uthathe uxhalaba kunye nawe ukuhamba.
Imithombo:
Eifert, GH, & Forsyth, JP (2005). Ukwamkela kunye nokuzibophelela kweNyango yeengxaki zokuxhalabisa . I-Oakland, CA: I-New Harbinger Publications.
Roemer, L., & Orsillo, SM (2009). UkuCamngca- kunye nokuThatyathwa kwemiSebenzi yokuSebenza ngokuSebenza . ENew York, NY: I-Guilford Press.