Ngaba ubonisa oku kuziphatha okunyanzelekileyo?
Nangona akusiyo igosa elisemthethweni, ukwesaba ukulahlelwa ngokuqinisekileyo kukuba yenye yezona ziqhelekileyo kwaye ziwonakalisa "i-phobias" yazo zonke. Abantu abanokwesaba ukulahlelwa banokubonisa ukuziphatha okunyanzelisayo kunye neendlela zokucinga ezichitha ubuhlobo babo, ekugqibeleni zikhokelela ekushiyekeni kwabo. Uloyiko lunokuba lunzima, kodwa ukuqonda linyathelo lokuqala lokusombulula.
Uloyiko lokushiywa yizinto eziyinkimbinkimbi kwingqondo . Kuye kwaqondwa ngokuvela kwiindlela ezahlukeneyo. Yona impawu ezisemngciphekweni yomntu ongenamkhawulo. Nazi ezinye iimbono, iimodeli kunye neemeko ezifanelekileyo ekuqondeni nasekuzama ukunceda abantu abanenkxalabo yokulahlwa.
UkuQiniswa kweNjongo
Kwintsebenziswano yintsebenziswano, i-offshoot yokuhlalutya kwe- Freudian , into ethile ngumntu, inxalenye yomntu, okanye into ethile efanekisela enye okanye enye. Umxholo wokubambelela ngumgaqo wokuthi nangona singenakubona umntu, loo mntu akaguquki ngokupheleleyo. Oku kulungelelanisa ingcamango "yento yokuhlala isigxina" kuqala efundiswa ngu-psychologist uJean Piaget . Iintsana zifunda ukuba umama okanye utata uya emsebenzini aze abuye ekhaya. Akayekanga ukumthanda umntwana ngenxa yokuba bahlukaniswe iiyure ezimbalwa. Okwangoku, umntwana uvelisa into yangaphakathi, okanye ukumelwa kwengqondo yomzali, okwanelisa imfuno yomntwana yokudibanisa ngexesha lexeshana.
Inkqubo yokuhlala rhoqo iyaqhubeka phambi kweminyaka emithathu. Njengoko abantwana bekhula kwaye bavuthiwe, ixesha lokuhlukana lide kwaye luvame ukuveliswa ngumntwana xa eya esikolweni okanye echitha iveki endlwini yomhlobo. Umntwana onento entle uqonda ukuba ubudlelwane obubalulekileyo abumelekanga ngexesha ngaphandle.
Umxholo wokuhlala ungaphazamiseka ngeziganeko ezibuhlungu. Ukufa okanye ukwahlukanisa kubangelwa zizinto eziqhelekileyo, kodwa kunye neemeko ezibonakala zingabalulekanga kubantu abadala zichaphazela ukuphuhlisa ukuqonda oku. Ngokomzekelo, abantwana abanabantwana emkhosini, abo abazali abanalo ixesha elifutshane lokuchitha kunye nabo, kunye nabazali abangabazali banokubeka esichengeni sokuphazamiseka kwexesha.
Archetypes and Mythology
I-Mythology izaliswe ngamabali abathandiweyo okanye abathandiweyo, ngokukodwa abesifazana, abazinikezele babo bonke amaqabane abo kuphela ukuba bashiywe emva xa umthandi ehamba eya kunqoba ihlabathi. Ezinye izazi zengqondo, ezifana noCarl Jung , zixela ukuba ezi ngqungquthela kunye neengcamango ziye zaba yinxalenye yokungazi kakuhle. Kwinqanaba elinqabileyo, sonke siye sazibandakanya eminye imizekelo yamacandelo kunye namabali kwaye senza inxalenye yombono wethu wehlabathi.
Ngamnye siba neengcinga zobuqu kunye nomnye ongabelwanga nabanye kodwa uhlala ngaphakathi ngaphakathi kwezinto zethu. Le ngqungquthela yomntu yenziwe yintsikelelo yethu yokwahluleka okuhlangeneyo ngokusebenzisa izihlomelo zamava ethu. Kulo mbono, ukwesaba ukulahlelwa kukungquzulwano oluphambili olunzulu oluhluke ngokubaluleka ngokwemibuzo yethu.
I zihlandlo
Uninzi lwama- phobias lubangelwa ziziganeko zangaphambili. Nangona into yakho iqhubeka kwaye ayinakuchaphazeleka ngongoma-ntloko okanye i-archetypes, usenokuba ushiyekile ngexesha elithile ebomini bakho. Ngethuba lokuba singabantu abadala, ininzi lethu siye safa ngokufa komntu othandekayo. Abahlobo basuka. Ubudlelwane buhlukana. Ukutshintshwa kwenzeka xa isikolo esiphakamileyo okanye ikholeji iphelela, abantu baqala ukutshata kwaye iintsana ezithatha kuqala. Nangona uninzi lwethu luvumelana neemeko eziguqukayo, akuqhelekanga ukuba unamathele kwenye indawo kwinkqubo yosizi. Ukuba uye wangena ngokukhawuleza kunye nokukhutshwa koluhlungu, njengokulahlekelwa ngumntu kwindlobongela okanye kwintlekele, unokuba ngumngcipheko ophezulu wokuphuhlisa loloyiko.
Imiphumo yoBudlelwane
Ukwesaba ukulahlelwa kubaluleke kakhulu. Abanye abantu bayesaba kuphela ukulahlekelwa ngumlingane othandana naye. Abanye bayesaba ngokukhawuleza bafumane bodwa bodwa. Ngandlela-thile, ndifumene ukuba abantu besaba ukulahla badla ngokulandela enye yeepatheni ezimbalwa ezisisiseko.
Ngaphambi kokuba sijonge iipatheni zalabo abanokwesaba ukulahlelwa, makhe sijonge ngendlela endicinga ngayo ukuba ubuhlobo obunokuthi buguquke. Kuyiyonene ngokukhethekileyo ubudlelwane bokuthandana, kodwa kukho ukufana okufanayo nakubungane obusondeleyo.
1. Ukwazi Ulwabiwo Olunye - Kulo nqaku, uzive ukhululekile. Awukabiwe ngokomoya ngomnye umntu, ngoko uqhubeka uhlala ubomi bakho ngelixa uthanda ixesha kunye nomntu okhethiweyo.
2. I-Honeymoon Phase - Yiyo xa ukhetha ukwenza. Ukulungele ukugqithisa iiflegi ezibomvu okanye eziphuzi ngenxa yokuba uhamba kakuhle. Uqala ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye nomnye umntu, uhlala ujabulela, kwaye uqala ukuziva uzikhuselekile.
3. Ulwalamano Lokwenene - Isigaba sekhefu asikwazi ukuhlala ngonaphakade. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba abantu babini bahamba kakuhle, ubomi boqobo buhlala businceda. Abantu bayagula, baneengxaki zeentsapho, baqale ukusebenza iiyure ezinzima, bakhathazeke ngemali, kwaye badinga ixesha lokuba izinto zenzeke. Nangona oku kuyinyathelo eliqhelekileyo kunye elihle kulwalamano, kunokusongela abo besaba ukulahlwa, ngubani ongayibona njengomqondiso wokuthi omnye umntu uyasusa. Ukuba unaloyiko, mhlawumbi ulwa nawe kwaye uzama kanzima ukuba ungabonakali izinto ozikhathazayo ngenxa yokwesaba ukubonakala.
4. Ukukhanya - Abantu ngabantu. Ziba neempembelelo kunye nemizwa kunye nezinto ezingqondweni zabo. Nangakhathaliseki ukuba banamnye umntu, abanako kwaye abanakulindela ukuba bahlale benalo mntu ngaphambili. Ngokukodwa emva kokuba ixesha lokunyuka kwexesha lokulala liphelile, akunakupheka ukuba kubonakale kuncinane. Oku kufuthi kuthatha uhlobo lomyalezo wesicatshulwa ongaphenduliweyo okanye umnxeba ongaphendulwanga okanye isicelo seentsuku ezimbalwa zexesha elilodwa.
Kwenzeka ntoni emva koko
Kwabo banokwesaba ukulahlelwa, oku kuguqulwa. Ukuba unaloyiko, mhlawumbi uqinisekile ukuba into encinane ibonakalisa ukuba iqabane lakho alikuthandi. Kwenzeka ntoni ngokulandelayo malunga noloyiko lokushiya, ukunyamezela, kunye nesimboli esithandayo sokwenza umkhondo. Abanye abantu bayayisingatha le nto ngokubambelela kwaye bafune, befuna ukuba iqabane labo libonakalise uthando lwakhe ngokuzixhuma ngamacangco achazwe ngumlingani oyikayo. Abanye babalekela, balahla amaqabane abo ngaphambi kokuba bachithe. Sekunjalo, abanye banomuvo wokuthi into encinci yiyiphutha labo, kwaye bazame ukuziguqula ngokwabo kwiqabane eligqibeleleyo kwisigqibo sokugcina omnye umntu ukuba ahambe.
Enyanisweni, umncinci awunakwenzeka ncinane. Njengoko kubonisiwe, abantu ngabantu nje, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha benza izinto abahlobo babo abaziqondi. Ulwalamano oluhle , umncinci unakho okanye awuvumelekanga ukuba unjalo. Iqabane liyakwazi ukuqonda ukuba yintoni, ukuphendula okuqhelekileyo okungenamncinci okanye ukungenzi nto kunye nolwalamano. Okanye uvakalelwa kukuba uyanyanzeliswa, kodwa udibanise kunye neengxoxo ezinokuthula okanye ingxabano emfutshane. Ngandlela-thile, enye incinci ayikhuthazwa ukulawula ukubaluleka ekunqumeni iimvakalelo zeqabane.
I-Pointner View Point
Ukusuka kumbono wakho womlingane, ukutshintsha kwakho kubomi ngokukhawuleza kubonakala kukuvela kwintsimi ekhohlo. Ukuba iqabane lingakhathazeki ngoloyiko lokushiya, mhlawumbi akanalo nto encinci ukuba kutheni umlingani wakhe owayengumntu othe wabuya naye, ngokukhawuleza wenza isigxina kwaye efuna, amkhathaze, okanye athatheke ngokupheleleyo.
Efana ne-phobias, akunakwenzeka ukuthetha okanye ukuqiqa umntu ngenxa yokwesaba ukulahlelwa. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba kaninzi kangakanani iqabane lakho lizama ukukuqinisekisa, akuyi kuba nelanele. Ekugqibeleni, iindlela zakho zokuziphatha kunye nokunyanzeliswa kunokushukumisa iqabane lakho, lingakhokelela ekugqibeleni ukuba ukwesaba kakhulu.
Ukujamelana Neloyiko Lokuxothwa
Ukuba uloyiko lusemnene kwaye lulawulwa kakuhle, unokwazi ukufumana isingatha kuso ngokufundiswa malunga nokuthambekela kwakho nokufunda iindlela zokuziphatha ezintsha. Nangona kunjalo, uninzi lwabantu, ukwesaba ukulahlelwa luxhomekeke kwimibandela enzulu ehleliyo enzima ukuyifumana yodwa. Uncedo lwabasebenzi luninzi lufuneka ukuba lusebenze ngoloyiko nokwakha ukuzithemba okufunekayo ukuze utshintshe iingcamango zakho kunye nokuziphatha.
Nangona ukhathaza ukwesaba kubaluleke, kubalulekile kwakhona ukwakha umuzwa wokuba ungumntu. Kunokuba ugxilise yonke amandla akho nokuzinikela kwiqabane elinye, jolise ekuphuleni uluntu. Akukho mntu unokusombulula zonke iingxaki zethu okanye ukuhlangabezana nazo zonke iimfuno zethu. Kodwa iqela eliqinileyo labahlobo abasondeleyo banokudlala indima ebalulekileyo ebomini bethu. Abantu abaninzi abanokwesaba ukulahlelwa bathi bazange bazive ngathi "besizwe" okanye "ipakethe" xa bekhula. Kungakhathaliseki naziphi na izizathu, babehlala becinga "abanye" okanye baqhaqhaqhekile kwabo bajikelezayo. Kodwa iindaba ezilungileyo kukuba akukaze kuphele.
Naluphi na isigaba sakho sokuphila, kubalulekile ukuzungezela nabanye abantu abanomdla. Yenza uludwe lwezinto ezizenzekelayo, izinto ezinqwenelekayo kunye namaphupha akhoyo. Emva koko fumana abanye ababelana ngeenjongo zakho. Nangona kuyi nyaniso ukuba akusiyo wonke umntu odla inzala uya kuba ngumhlobo osondeleyo, izinto ezithandwayo kunye namaphupha lilitye elihle kakhulu ekuzakheleni inethiwekhi eyomeleleyo yenkxaso. Ukusebenza kwiimfuno zakho kunceda nokwakha ukuzithemba kunye nenkolelo yokuba unamandla okwanele ukujamelana nayo nayiphi na into ephosa indlela yakho.
> Umthombo:
> IYunivesithi yeSizwe yeSizwe. Ulwalamano loBudlelwane beNjongo. https://web.sonoma.edu/users/d/daniels/objectrelations.html