Indlela Yokusingatha Iseluleko Esingafunekiyo - Ngenkxalabo encinci
Ngamanye amaxesha iingcebiso ezingenakunyulwa ziba luncedo, kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo zinciphisa. Ukunikezwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo kweengcebiso ezingathandeki kunokubangela uxinzelelo kuba bavame ukuziva befana nokugxeka kunokuba bancediswe. Enyanisweni, uphando oluthile lubonisa ukuba inkxaso ebonakaliswe ngolu hlobo lweengcebiso lunokuba nzima ngakumbi kunxulumano kunokuba akukho ncediso ! Kuyathakazelisa, kubonakala ngathi abantu banqwenela ukunikela iingcebiso zabo (ingakumbi xa bengamkelekanga) ngabo abo bacebisa iingcebiso zabo ngobungcono kunokuba bengafani neyakho.
Ngelishwa, ezinye iindlela zokusingatha iingcebiso ezingaceliweyo, ngakumbi kubathandekayo, zingabangela uxinzelelo olungakumbi. Xa abantu benentsingiselo efanelekileyo, banokucaphuka xa iingcebiso zabo zingalandelwa. Xa abantu bevela kwindawo yokufuna ukulawula, ukuchasana ngokuthe ngqo kweengcebiso kungabangela ingxabano (enokubangela ubuninzi beengcinezelo), ngokukodwa xa ithetha ngendlela ekhohlakeleyo. Kukho iintlobo ezahlukahlukeneyo ezinokubangela iingcebiso ezingenakunyulwa, kwaye kunceda ukukhumbula oko. Nazi ezinye iindlela ezilula zokujongana neengcebiso ezingenakunyulwa ezingakunceda ugcine imida yakho ngaphandle kokucaphukisa icebiso-umniki-nto.
Cinga Ngeenjongo Zabo.
Zama ukuqaphela apho icebiso livela khona. Ingaba umntu ovela kwindawo eluncedo, okanye ingcebiso engakumbi malunga neemfuno zabo, kwaye ayifanelekanga imeko yakho? Nantsi enye inkcazelo malunga neentlobo ezahlukeneyo zeengcebiso ezingenakunyulwa kunye noluphi na uhlobo lwalunye uhlobo, ukukunceda ukuba ufumanise intshukumiselo yeluleki-umniki.
Cinga uMthombo.
Nquma ukuba ufuna i cebiso kulo mntu. Emva kokucinga ngezizathu ezinokuthi umcebisi wakho ozikhethele yona, ukhangele ngaphakathi ngaphakathi kwindlela oziphendule ngayo kwingcebiso kunye nomcebisi-umcebisi, kwaye mhlawumbi ucinga ukuba 'ulungelo lwezopolitiko,' unokufumana ukuba uyamkela iingcebiso (kunye neengcebiso ezizayo) ingcinga efanelekileyo, okanye ukuba uya kuba ngcono ekunqandeni le nto inamandla kwiimeko zakho.
Ngokomzekelo, unokuba ufuna ukunqanda iingcebiso-ukwamkela ukuba unesimo apho ungafuni ukubonwa ungenalwazi, ungaphantsi-unako, okanye ube kwindawo ephantsi. Oku kungasebenza kwiinkalo ezininzi, njengobuhlobo bezentsebenziswano apho ufuna "ukubamba yakho;" Ubuhlobo apho ufumana omnye umhlobo unikeza iingcebiso rhoqo kodwa akayi kubuza, ukudala ukutshintsha kwintsebenziswano enamandla ongayifuni; ubudlelwane bentsapho apho uphathwa khona ngentlonelo encinane xa ufumene unako. Ukuba kunjalo, kunjalo, kufuneka uqaphele ukuba ungaxoxwa ngeengxaki rhoqo, ngokukodwa iingxaki ezifanayo ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Ukuba ufuna nje umphulaphuli oncedisayo, musa ukuxoxa ngeengxaki zakho nomntu onika ngokuphindaphindiweyo iingcebiso ezingabonakali. Kwezinye iimeko, nangona kunjalo, ukwamkela iingcebiso, nangona kungenakucelwa, kunokukunceda ukuxazulula ingxaki okanye ukuqinisa intlawulelo. Ukuba ufunda le nqaku, mhlawumbi awujongani nalo hlobo lwesimo, kodwa kunceda ukucinga ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba awukho.
Phu laphula kwaye Uyabonga.
Ukuba ufuna ukuthabatha iingcebiso uze ufumane iingcebiso ezizayo kumntu, kulula ukubabulela ngeengcebiso zabo, bacele ukuba bandise kulo, kwaye bakhumbule ebomini bakho.
(Nangona kunjalo, ukuba imeko yakho yayilula, mhlawumbi awuyi kufunda eli nqaku, ngoko unako ukuqhubela phambili kwiingcebiso ezilandelayo.)
Yamkele, Emva koko.
Ukuba ufuna ukwenza omnye umntu uzive exabisekileyo, kodwa akafuni ukuthatha icebiso, uthi, "Ndiyabonga; Ndiya kuthatha loo nto ingqalelo, "kwaye utshintshe isihloko. Ngaloo ndlela, unokucinga malunga neengcebiso kwaye ulahleke ngokukhawuleza, kodwa usazise ukuba uyazixabisa iingcamango zabo. Oku kuphengulula ingxoxo ukuze ungabi nolu hlobo lokuba uya kulandela isiluleko ukuba uyazi ukuba awuyi kuthi, okanye uzibeke kwindawo yokuphulaphula ezinye iinkcukacha malunga nesicwangciso owaziyo asinakukusebenzela.
Misela iMida xa kufuneka.
Ukuba ufuna ukudweba umda kunye nalo mntu ekugqibeleni ukuthintela umthwalo weengcebiso ezingaceliweyo kubo, unokwenza ngokuthethekileyo kodwa uthi ngokuqinisekileyo, "Le nto ingcinga, kodwa ndinendlela yam yokusingatha oku," kwaye utshintshe isihloko. Ukuba bayaphikelela, unokuthi uxhasane, kodwa izinto ezingekho phantsi kwezinto ezinjengokuthi, "Ndiyonwabile ukuba kusebenza kuwe." Zininzi iindlela ezahlukahlukeneyo zokwenza izinto, "okanye izinto ezinzulu ezinjengokuthi," Ndiyabonga, kodwa ndenza kakuhle . " Kwakhona, unokufuna ukuthatha indlela enomnene nomntu obonakala enenjongo, kodwa indlela enamandla ngakumbi nomntu obonakala evela kwindawo yokugxekwa.
Qinisekisa iMida xa kufuneka.
Ukuba isiluleko esingaceliyo siqhubeka senzeke, unokukhetha ukuyigatya, okanye ungatsho ngenyameko kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba awudingi naluphi na icebiso. Ndiyabulela, kodwa andiyiyo imfuneko ngcebiso; Ndiye ndaphinda ndiphanda isisombululo, "okanye," Siyabonga, kodwa ukuba ndifuna iingcebiso, ndiya kuqiniseka ukuba ndiyakucela, "inokusebenza kakuhle. Oku kusebenza kakuhle nabantu abaninzi abafuna ukukunceda kodwa abonakala bengalutholi ukuba le ndlela ayinakunceda kuwe. Nangona kunjalo, kukho abantu abathile banike icebiso elingaceliyo ukuba bakhonze i-egos yabo, kwaye bacaphuke xa ubaxelela ukuba awukhange ufune iingcebiso, okanye uzithathele wena ukuba awuhambisani neengcebiso zabo. Xa kunjalo, unokufuna ukunciphisa ixesha lakho malunga nomntu ukuba iingcebiso zabo ezingenakuncitshiswa zidala uxinzelelo olunzulu kwezobudlelwane bakho.
Iingcebiso zokusingatha isiluleko esingenakunqunyiwe esineenkxalabo ezincinci:
- Ukuba iingcebiso ezingafunekiyo ziza kuphendula xa usabelana ngeengxaki zakho kunye nalo mntu, unokufuna ukufumana esinye isiqinisekiso. Ukongezelela, ukuba ufumana ukuthetha ngezinto ezifanayo ngokuphindaphindiweyo kwaye ungazami ukuzisombulula, le nto ingayomzamo womnye umntu ukukunceda okanye ukukwazisa ukuba bangathanda ukukubona uzama isisombululo. Unokwenza isigqibo sokuba usebenze ngakumbi ngaphambi kokumisa umntu njengomthombo wenkxaso, okanye unokugqiba isigqibo sokufumana indlebe eyongezelelweyo. mhlawumbi ungumgwebi obalaseleyo kule meko.
- Ukuba isiluleko esingaceliyo sihlala siza kwaye sihlala sikukhathaza, kusenokuba ingcamango enhle ukunciphisa umnxibelelwano wakho nomntu kwithuba elincinane uze uzive ungaphantsi komoya . Oku kunyanisekileyo ukuba ingcebiso ayiyiyo impendulo ekuxubusha ingxaki, kodwa ngokugqithiseleyo, njengento ethi, "Ufanele ugqoke iimpahla ezinqabileyo, oko kuya kuba kukunyamezela," ukubonelela ngomzekelo ogqithiseleyo.
- Zama ukukhumbula ukuba le ngcebiso inokwenzeka ukuba ivela kwindawo efuna ukukunceda okanye yokufuna ukuba uzive ubalulekile. Eyona nto ibhetele, ithetha ukuthatha indawo, kwaye ngokugqithiseleyo, ngokuqhelekileyo ivela kwindawo enobuthakathaka, kodwa ayikho indawo efanelekileyo, komnye umntu. Ngamanye amaxesha, ukuba unxulumana nomntu onobudlova, kungabakho ukuhlaselwa ngokuzimeleyo okubonakalayo kukudala uxinzelelo olungakumbi , kodwa kunokwenzeka ukuba luvela kwindawo engabonakaliyo komnye umntu.