Ukunyeliswa, ukugonywa, kunye nokungahloniphi ngokucacileyo: Abantu banokusenza sibuhlungu kwiindlela ezizigidi, kwaye ukuxolelwa akusoloko kulula. Ingaba unqunyulwe kwinqanawa, unqunywe ngumama-mkhwenkwe, ugqithwe ngumlingane, okanye ungasondelanga ngumntu osebenza kunye naye, uninzi lwethu lujongene neemeko ezahlukeneyo esinokukhetha ukukhanya okanye xolela. Kodwa ukuxolelwa, njengento eninzi ebomini, kulula ukutsho kunokuba kwenziwe.
Iingxaki zokuxolela
Uxolelo lunokuba ngumngeni kwizizathu ezininzi. Ngamanye amaxesha ukuxolelwa kungadideka ngokuxhomekeka oko umntu akwenzile kuthi: "Kulungile. Kutheni ungenzi kwakhona kwakhona? "Ngabantu abaqondayo ukuhlukana phakathi kokwamkela indlela yokuziphatha engalunganga njengomntu" olungile "nokwamkela ukuba kwenzeka kwaye umntu makabeke ukuhamba komsindo ukuqhubela phambili, ukuxolelwa kunokuba nzima kuba ezi zimbini zidideka kalula.
Ukuxolela kunokuba nzima xa umntu osiphosakeleyo engabonakali ukufanelwa ukuxolelwa. Kuvakalelwa ngathi sibavumela ukuba "baphume kwinqanawa" xa beyiphambukisa. Kunzima ukukhumbula ukuba ukuxolela kunceda umntu othethelelayo ngaphezu koxolelwa.
Ekugqibeleni, ukuxolelwa kunzima kakhulu kuba kunzima ukuvumela ukuba kwenzeke oko kwenzekayo. Oku kunzima ukwamkela izinto ezithile ebomini. Ukuxolela umntu owenze ukuziphatha okungavumelekanga kunokuba nzima xa sineengxaki ukuyeka ukuvutha umsindo malunga neziganeko kunye nokwamkela okwenzekayo kuthi.
Ukubaluleka kokuxolela
Kubalulekile ukuvumela ukuhamba kwaye uxolele. Nazi ezinye izizathu zokuba kutheni.
Ukuxolela kulungile entliziyweni yakho-ngokwenene. Olunye uphando kwi- Journal of Medicine Practices ufumane ukuxolelwa ukuhambelana nentlawulo ephantsi yentliziyo nokuxinzelelwa kwegazi kunye nokuxinwa kwengcinezelo. Oku kunokubangela iintlawulo zexesha elide entliziyweni yakho kunye nempilo yonke.
Uphononongo olutshanje lufumanise ukuba ukuxolelwa kuhambelaniswe ngokufanelekileyo kunye nemilinganiselo emihlanu yempilo: iimpawu zomzimba, imichiza esetyenziswayo, umgangatho wobuthongo, ukukhathala, kunye nezikhalazo ze-somatic. Kubonakala ukuba ukunciphisa ukungathinteki okubi (iimpawu ezixinzelelekileyo), ukomoya oqinisiweyo, ukulawulwa kweengxabano kunye noxinzelelo lwengcinezelo olufumana ukuxolelwa zonke zinempembelelo enkulu kwimpilo yonke.
Ucwaningo lwesithathu, olupapashwe kwi- Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin , lwafumanisa ukuba ukuxolelwa kungekuphela kokubuyisela iingcamango ezilungileyo, iimvakalelo kunye nokuziphatha kwimeko ephosakeleyo (ngamanye amazwi, ukuxolelwa kuyabuyisela ubuhlobo kwimeko yayo yangaphambili), kodwa inzuzo yokuxolelwa ukuthululela kwiimeko ezilungileyo kwabanye ngaphandle kobudlelwane. Uxolelo luhambelana nokuzithandela okukhulu, ukunikela ngokusondeza, kunye nezinye iindlela zokuziphatha. (Kwaye ukuthetha kuyinyaniso ngokungaxoleli.)
Ukuyifumanisa, ukuxolelwa kulungile kumzimba wakho, ubudlelwane bakho, kunye nendawo yakho ehlabathini. Esi sinesizathu esaneleyo sokwenza ukuba ubani enze umsebenzi wokuvumela ukuhamba nomsindo nokusebenza ekuxoleleni.
Indlela yokuxolela
Ukuxolelwa akusoloko kube lula, kodwa kunokwenziwa ngokulula ngokusetyenziswa okumbalwa kunye nengqondo efanelekileyo.
Okokuqala, khumbula ukuba ukuxolelwa yinto oyenzela yona ukuba unqamle ukunyamekela kwakho kwimeko eyenzekayo. (Cinga ngokuyeka isandla sakho kwisitshisi esitshisileyo kwisitofu-siyahlala sishushu, kodwa uhamba kude nalo ukhuseleko lwakho.)
Kwakhona, zikhumbuze ukuba uhamba phambili, kwaye ukuxolela lo mntu ubavumela (okanye ubuncinane oko bakwenzileyo) bahlale kwixesha elidlulileyo xa uqhubeka. Ukuhamba, ukuthandaza okanye ukucamngca, kunye nokucamngca ngobubele bothando kunokuba luncedo ekunciphiseni ukuxolelwa.
> Imithombo:
> Karremans JC, UVan Lange PA, i-Holland RW. Ukuxolela kunye noNxibelelwano lwawo kunye nokuCinga koBuchule, ukuvakalelwa, nokwenza ngaphandle kobudlelwane kunye nomenzi wesenzo. Ubuntu kunye neNzululwazi yezeNzululwazi eBulletin , ngoOktobha 2005.
> Lawler KA, u-Younger JW, uPiferi RL, uBillington E, uJobe R, u-Edmondson K, uJones WH. Utshintsho lwenhliziyo: I-Correlates Correlates of the Forgiveness in Response to Conflict Interpersonal. I-Journal of Medicine Act , Oktobha 2003.
> Lawler KA, osemncinci JW, uPiferi RL, Jobe RL, Edmondson KA, Jones WH. Imiphumo Eyingqayizivele yokuxolelwa kwezeMpilo: ukuCandwa kweNdlela. Umbhalo weMpilo yezoLimo , ngo-Apreli 2005.