Ukumisela imida ayisoloko ilula. Inkqubo ngokwayo-ukuvumela abantu ukuba ziphi na iimfuno kunye nemingcele yakho-inokubakho uxinzelelo, ngakumbi kwabo bangasetyenziswanga. Xa abantu basebenziselwa ukudibanisa imida ebekwe kwinqanaba elithile, banokumelana nokulwa xa uzama ukutshintsha imida yakho kunye nabo, kwaye abantu (njengabantwana) bazama ukuvavanya imida phakathi komnye.
Oku kunokubangela uxinzelelo, ngokukodwa xa ucinga ngeengxaki zokuxhatshazwa kumanqanaba oxinzelelo. Nangona kunjalo, umphumo wokugqibela unokufanelekile: ubudlelwane obubandakanya amanqanaba amakhulu ekuhlonipheni, okuhlangabezana neemfuno zabo bonke abachaphazelekayo, kunye nokwenza kube nzima ukunyamezela bonke abantu.
Isinyathelo sokuqala ekumiseni imida kukufumana ukuqonda apho imida yakho eyimfihlo ilala khona. Ngaba ukhululekile ukuba unabantu nabantu abasondela kuwe kwaye bathatha inkululeko ethile? Ngokuqhelekileyo, inkcazelo yakho yokuqala kukuvakalelwa xa imida yakho iphulwe. Ngenxa yokuba abantu abahlukeneyo banemida eyahlukileyo , into ephazamisayo abanye ayinakukukhathaza, kwaye ngokuchaseneyo. Ngako oko, kubalulekile ukuthetha nabanye apho amanqanaba akho okududuzayo (kwaye aphuculise amazinga) ukuze abantu abaneemida ezahlukileyo banakho ukugcina ukuphula umthetho wakho. Ezi zilandelayo zikhokelo eziqhelekileyo zokukunceda ukwazi ngakumbi imida yakho.
Izibonakaliso Okufuneka Usebenze kwiMida
- Uziva unomsindo ngabantu abacela uninzi kuwe, kwaye kubonakala ngathi kwenzeka njalo.
- Uzifumana utsho ewe kwizinto ongeke ukwenze, ukuze ubalekise okanye udide abanye.
- Uziva uziva unomsindo ngenxa yokuba wenza okungakumbi kwabanye kunokuba bakwenzela wena.
- Uvame ukugcina abantu abaninzi bebude bengaloo nto ngenxa yokuba ukwesaba ukuvumela abantu ukuba basondelane kakhulu kwaye baxakeke.
- Uziva uvakalelwa kukuba ininzi yento oyenzayo yenzelwe abanye abantu-kwaye abanokuyayixabisa loo nto!
- Uxinzelelo oluthile kubantu abadanisa abanye lukhulu kunexinzelelo lokwenza izinto eziphazamisayo okanye zikuncwina ngenzame yokuzikholisa.
Imibuzo Yokuzibuza
Kukhona imibuzo eyongeziweyo ekufuneka uzibuze yona xa ubheka ukhetho oluthile onokukwenza, kunokuba uzive ngayo ngokubanzi, oku kunokukunceda ukuba unqume ukuba imida ingasetyenziswanga okanye imfuneko. Imibuzo elandelayo ingakunceda ukuba uchaze imida yakho kwiimeko ezithile, uze uhambe ngexesha elizayo:
- Ukuba akukho mntu uya kudana, ngaba ndingathanda ukwenza u-ewe okanye cha?
- Ukujonga zonke iindleko kunye neendleko zeli meko (zombini ezibonakalayo nezingabonakaliyo), ngaba kulungele umzamo wokuthi yebo?
- Ngaba uziva ukhululekile ukufaka isicelo esifanayo komnye umntu?
- Ukuba abantu bayakucaphukisa xa usithi hayi , ngaba uvakalelwa ngokwenene ukuba bavela kwindawo enesidima nefanelekileyo? (Kwaye, ukuba akunjalo, ingaba ixesha lokuba uqale ukubeka imida ethile?)
- Ngaba lo mzekelo ofuna ukumisela? (Kwaye, ukuba akunjalo, bekuya kuba yindawo efanelekileyo yokudweba umgca?)
- Cinga ngomntu onokuziva unemiqathango enempilo-uhlobo onokuthanda ukuluxelisa. Ucinga ukuba bazakwenza njani kule meko?
Emva kokuba uzimisele ukuba unjani, unokugqiba isigqibo sokuba ngaba unqwenela ukubeka umda. Kwihlabathi eligqibeleleyo, xa sisazi apho indawo zethu zentuthuzelo zihlala khona, sifuna nje ukuthetha ngolwazi kwabanye, kwaye umda wobudlelwane usethe. Nangona kunjalo, ngokuqhelekileyo kwihlabathi lenene, ukulungiswa kwemida kumbandakanya ukuxoxisana, kwaye akusoloko ihamba kakuhle. Abantu baneemida zabo ezingabonakaliyo, kwaye banokuyitshintshela umgama omkhulu okanye ukufuphi ngenxa yezizathu zabo.
Ukutshintsha imida esuka kwimeko ye-quo inokubangela ukuba abantu basabele ngokuzama ukuqinisa imida yangaphambili okanye ekhoyo, ngezinye iindlela ngeendlela ezingasenza sihlaziyeke. Ngale ndlela, ukubeka imingcele kunokuba ngumzabalazo.
Ngenxa yokuba sifanele sicinge ngeemfuno zethu kunye nezidingo kunye nokuphendula kwabanye, kubalulekile ukuba silinde ukubeka imida. Imibuzo ozibuzeyo xa ufumanisa apho imida yakho eyimida ihluke khona kwimibuto ingazibuza xa unquma apho ubeka khona imida yakho kwiimeko ezithile, kuba ziqwalasela izinto eziphathekayo ezifana "neendleko" zokubeka imida. Baye bakuvumela ukuba ucace kwimicimbi enjengetyala (xa ufanele uzive unetyala?) Kunye nesishukumiso (ngaba kuyafaneleka?) Ukuze uqhubeke phambili kunye nomlinganiselo omncinci wokuxinzezeleka. Nazi ezinye ze mibuzo ozibuzeyo:
- Yintoni efanelekileyo apha?
- Ukuba ndandisesikweni somnye umntu, ngaba isisombululo sam sisabonakala sisilungile?
- Ngaba ndiyenzile kulo, okanye ngaba lo kulindeleke ukuba omnye umntu ubeke kum?
- Ingaba kukho esinye isisombululo apha esingayinqoba?
- Ingaba isenzo sokwenza utshintsho okanye ukubeka umda senza uxinzelelo olungakumbi kunokuba lunciphise ixesha elide?
- Xa ndicinga ngemiphumo yonyaka ukususela ngoku, ngaba ndiza kuziva ukuba esi sixazululo esingcono kunokuba sinakho ngoku?
- Ukuba ubeka umda kwaye uziva ukuba omnye umntu akayiqondanga ukulwa nomda, kwaye uzimisele ukuvumela ubudlelwane buhambe kunokuba buhlungu ngenxa yemida engafanelekanga?
Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba mhlawumbi uya kuzijonga iimvakalelo zakho ngaphezu kwemiva yabanye kuba kufuneka uphile nemiphumo yezigqibo zakho. Wena nguwe oza kuphila nemiphumo yokukhetha kwakho. Ekugqibeleni, sonke sinamanqanaba ethu okududuza imida, kodwa le mibuzo inikezela ukucinga. Emva kokuba unqume ukuba ungasetha umda wakho, ukusebenza kwiinkqubo zokumisela imida kunye nobuchule bokunxibelelana ngokubambisana kunokuzisa iziphumo ezintle ebomini bakho.