Ukuqiqa ngokomzwelo kukuphazamiseka okuqhelekileyo okubangelwa ngabantu abaneengxaki zokuphazamiseka. Iinkolelo ezinjalo eziphosakeleyo zinokuba yingozi kumntu otyhafile, njengoko ezi ngcamango zingandisa ukhathazeka, ukwesaba nokukhathazeka. Funda phambili ukuze ufumane okungakumbi malunga nokuphazamiseka kwengqondo kunye nokuphazamiseka kwesifo kwaye ufunde ukunqoba iipateni zokucinga ezingafanelekanga.
Ucinga Ngokwemvakalelo?
Ngaba iingcinga zethu zilawula iimvakalelo zethu kunye neendlela zokuziphatha? Ngokweengcamango zonyango oluyicatshulwa , iingcamango zethu zingasichazela impilo yethu. Iipateni zokucinga ezingafanelekiyo, ezaziwa ngokuba yizinto eziphazamisayo , zihlala ziyingxaki kubantu abajongene nokudandatheka kunye neengxaki ezinxulumene nexhala. Ukuqiqa ngokomzwelo luhlobo oluthile lokuphazamiseka kwengqondo engabangela ukuba ube neengxaki zokuphazamiseka kwengxaki.
Xa unqotshwa yilo hlobo lokucinga okuphosakeleyo, sichaza imeko yethu ngeemvakalelo zethu. Siziva sizixhalabile size sikholelwe ukuba kufuneka sibe sengozini. Ukuqiqa ngokomzwelo kukuphazamiseka okuvelele kubantu abaxilongwa ngengxaki yokuphazamiseka , njengoko iimvakalelo zentloni zinokukhawuleza zandipha. Ngezantsi imizekelo embalwa yokuqiqa ngeemvakalelo kunye neendlela zokuphinda uhlaziye oku kuphazamiseka okuqhelekileyo.
Umzekelo
Ngethuba ekuhambeni ekhaya ukusuka emsebenzini kwindlela yokuhamba kweyure, uMonica wayenomsebenzi osondeleyo kwindlela yokuhamba. Waba neentloni kwaye intliziyo yakhe yanyuka. UMonica ngoku akafuni ukuqhubela kwindlela yokuhamba, ekholelwa ukuba uya kuba sengozini yokufumana ingozi.
ULeon akazange azive ekhuselekile kwiiplanethi. Ekuhambeni kwakhe kokugqibela kwezoshishino, waqala ukwesaba intshukumo yakhe ezayo ezinsukwini ezimbalwa kwangaphambili. ULeon wayeza kujonga ulwazi kwi-intanethi eya kuqinisekisa ukwesaba kwakhe ukuhamba, njengolwazi malunga nemicimbi edlulileyo neenqwelo. Ngomhla wohambo lwakhe, uLeon waqala ukuthuthumela kunye nokuthuthumela njengoko ehlabela indiza. Kwesinye isihlandlo, umqhubi waxwayisa ukuba kwakuza kubakho ukuqhuma kwaye bacele ukuba abagibeli babeke kwiibhendi zabo. ULeon wachaza ukuba "Wayeyazi ukuba indiza yayiza kuphazamiseka." U-Leon's self-talk wenyuka njengoko wayesehlaselwa .
Rethink It
UMonica unokuziva exhalabile xa eqhuba ngokuhamba, kodwa oko akuthethi usengozini. UMonica uyaphawula ukuba uvakalelwa, kodwa endaweni yokuzixelela ukuba usemngciphekweni, unokuzixelela ukuba le ntliziyo iya kudlula.
ULeon waba noloyiko, kangangokuthi waqala ukukholelwa ukuba wayesengozini. Ekuphenduleni kwakhe ukwesaba okukhulu kunye nokuzibamba okubi, wafumana iimpawu zesifo kunye nexhala . Kwakunjengokuthi ingqondo yakhe yayitsho umzimba wakhe ukuba ulungiselele ingozi, inkqubo eyaziwa ngokuba yimpendulo yokulwa-okanye-ye-flight . ULeon wayenokuba ngcono xa efunda ulwazi olungakumbi ngaphambi kokuhamba kwakhe, njengokwesaba amacebiso okuhamba. Esikhundleni sokuba uthathe inxaxheba ekuziphatheni okubi, uLeon wayedlulile ukwesaba kwakhe ngokusebenzisa iindlela zokuphumula okanye ukuqinisekiswa, njengokuthi "Ndikhuselekile."
Ukuxhalabisa ngokuqhelekileyo kuqalisa ngeengcinga ezixhalabileyo kunye nokwesaba okanye ukuvakalelwa ngokomzimba, njengokungquzulisa nokukhawuleza kwentliziyo. Xa uziva uxhalabile , zama ukunciphisa iingcamango zakho uze uzibuyisele kwimibono engokoqobo. Zinike imvume yokuziva uxhalabile. Emva koko uzikhumbuze ukuba kungumvakalelo kwaye akufuneki ukuchaza imeko yakho.
Qiniseka ukuba ufuna iingcali zakho iingcamango eziphazamisayo ziba nzima okanye zixakeke kwaye ukuxhalabisa kubonakala kungenakunzima. Ukufumana uncedo ngenxa yokuphazamiseka kwesifo kunokuba yindlela efanelekileyo kakhulu yokufumana ukucinga okuphosakeleyo kunye nokuhlangabezana nemeko yakho.
Imithombo:
Ukushisa, iDD " Ukuva Okulungileyo: Ulwaphulo olutsha lweMode ," iAvon Books: eNew York, ngo-2008.
Ukushisa, iDD " Xa i-Panic ihlaselwa: I-New-Free-Free Free Concerning You