Iingcebiso zoPhuhliso lwePhambili kunye nokuNciphisa ukukhathazeka kweNtlalo
Ukuba unengxaki yokukhathazeka kwentlalo (SAD) , esinye sezihluthulelo zokunqoba iimpawu zakho kukuba ufunde indlela yokuzithemba ngakumbi kwaye ungabalulekanga. Xa uziva, akugcini nje ukwenza ukuba iimpawu zakho ezixhalabileyo zibi nakakhulu, kodwa wenza kube nzima ukuba uqaphele oko kwenzekayo malunga nawe. Oku kunokukwenza ukuba ucinge ukuba abanye abantu bakugweba kakubi; Enyanisweni, mhlawumbi abayithobeli ingqalelo kuzo zonke.
Iingcali zengqondo ziye zanikela igama kule ngqungquthela: umphumo "wembonakaliso" . Nangona uvakalelwa ngathi onke amehlo aphezu kwakho, ngokwenene abantu baqaphela nje malunga ne-50% yento ocinga ukuba yintoni. Ngoko uphelile-ucinga yonke into malunga nesiqingatha.
Kulula ukuqonda ukuba ukuzinyamezela kwenza ukuba uxhalabuntlalo lwakho lube lubi nakakhulu; kungomnye umsebenzi wokwenza utshintsho kwaye ube ngongqongqo. Enyanisweni, enye yezinto ezichasayo zokuzikhuphazela kukuba kugxininise ingqalelo endaweni ngaphandle. Ngezantsi kunamanyathelo athile ukukunceda endleleni yakho ukuba uzive uncinci.
Yintoni ekukubuyiselayo?
Mhlawumbi kukho ezinye iibhokhwe ezithintele ukuzenza utshintsho. Mhlawumbi ucinga ukuba kukhwankqisa ukugxila kwilizwe langaphandle. Mhlawumbi kukukhathaza ngengqondo ukuba uqhubeke neengxoxo.
Ngenye indlela, cinga ngeentlobo ezingenokuba zikhona xa uqiniseka ngakumbi.
Ukuzixhalabisa kukukwenza ukuba uxhalabise ngakumbi kwaye ukugxila kwimibono yabanye kunokunciphisa umgangatho wobomi. Kulula ukuba ngokwakho kwaye ube lula xa ungagxile ekuhleleni kwakho. Kufuneka ufunde ukulahlekelwa nguwe ukuze ukwazi ukuba nguwe ngokwenene.
Qaphela iiNzuzo zokuziNgca
Enye yezona zinto zibaluleke kakhulu ngokuzimela ngokwabo zibuhlungu ukufunda imeko ngokuchanekileyo.
Ungakhumbuza iinkcukacha ezimbalwa malunga neemeko apho wenza kakuhle kwaye kunoko ugxininise iimpazamo zakho ezincinci okanye u-faux pas. Unokugweba abanye abantu njengabantu abathandekayo abaxoxisana nabo xa kukho ukunyaniseka. Oko kunokukwenza ukuba uhlalutye yonke into eyenzeka malunga nawe, kukuvimbela ukuba ukhululeke kwaye ube nexesha elihle.
Ukuphuhlisa umGqaliselo ongaphandle
Kuya kuba nzima ekuqaleni ukuhlakulela ingqwalasela yangaphandle, ingakumbi ukuba uye wasebenzisa i-self-attention njengeqhinga lokukhusela ixesha elide. Ukuze wenze utshintsho, zama ukufuna ukwazi ngabanye abantu njengenjongo engaphandle kombonisi. Injongo ayikukuxelisa ukuziphatha, kodwa nje ukuba uqaphele ngakumbi okokutshintshana okuqhubekayo. Buka izinto abanye abazenzayo, phu laphule oko bathethayo baze bacinge ngokucacileyo malunga nemeko. Yiba nenjongo njengoko ubona imeko ngombono ongaphandle. Ukuba unenkathazo, zinike umsebenzi wokufunda into malunga nomntu.
Yenza iZenzo zoTshintsho
Enye indlela yokuphuhlisa ukugxila ekugxilweni kwakho kukufunda indlela yokutshintsha phakathi kokugxila kwangaphakathi nangaphandle kwaye uqaphele umehluko phakathi kwezi zibini. Ngexesha elizayo xa usesikweni (njengokuba ugibela ibhasi), zama kuqala ukugxila ngokupheleleyo.
Yenza oku malunga nemizuzu emihlanu kwaye uqaphele indlela ozivakalelwa ngayo. Emva koko, tshintsha uze uzame ukuqaphela wonke umntu kunye nendlela abavela ngayo. Zama ukuthetha nabo ukuba kubonakala kulungile.
Emva koko, phawula indlela ozive ngayo kunye nento oyenzayo. Injongo yalo mzamo kukuba uqaphele ngakumbi apho ingqwalasela yakho ibhekiswe kuyo, indlela yokuyilawula, kunye nendlela ekwenza uzive ngayo. Njengoko uzuzisayo, zama ukutshintsha iingcamango xa uthetha nomntu kwaye uqaphele ukungafani.
Qaphela abanye Abangakhathaleli
Ukuba uqala ukuzihlawula okanye uzive ngathi ukugxotha ingqwalasela yakho ngaphandle kuyingozi kakhulu, khumbula ukuba emfanekisweni obanzi, ukwenza impazamo okanye ukuphuma ngokungenangxaki akusiyo isiphelo sehlabathi.
Iimfuno zokutshintsha i-Perspective
Xa uziva ucinga ukuba uhlale unzima kwaye uthethe kakhulu. Njengoko ugxininisa ingqalelo ngaphandle, zama ezinye iindlela zokukhuthaza ukuba ukhulule kumjikelezo ongeyena wokuzimela; ukumamatheka kwabanye kwaye uthethe! Xa ulungile, unoyolo kwaye uthetha kunzima ukucinga iingcamango ezimbi malunga nawe. Xa ungathandabuzeki, ukubuza abantu imibuzo malunga nabo ngokwabo, njengento yokuthanda kwabo okanye iimfuyo zabo, kuyindlela enhle yokuphula i-ice kunye nokwenza abantu bazive bexabiseke. Uyakukhunjulwa njengokuthakazelisa nokucokisa, kungekuhle uluntu lube nzima.
Funda kuBenzayo
Ukuqhuba abaqeqeshi baya kukuxelela ukuba indlela eya kumsebenzi okholisayo kukuphinda kabini yonke into. Ukuziphatha okuncinci kukubangela ukuba ube neentloni kodwa iinzame ezinkulu zinokuzithemba. Nangona kungathi kubonakale ku-intuitive ekuqaleni, ukuba ufuna ukuyiqwalasela okuncinci, yiba nzima kakhulu. Ukuzibeka kwisimo sengqondo "somlingiswa" olungeleyo kunye nolonxibelelwano unokukunceda ukuba unqabile ekusebenzisaneni kwimeko yoluntu.
Funda ixesha lokufuna uncedo
Ezi ziphakamiso zingakunceda ukuba ungabi nantoni, kodwa ukuba ufumanisa ukuba ukuxhalaba kwakho kweentlalo kukugcina ungonwabele imisebenzi okanye udibana nabahlobo, kusenokuba yithuba lokuthetha nomgqirha . Ukuxhalabisa ngeNtlalo yinkinga yokunyanga kunye nesicwangciso sonyango esibanzi kunokukunceda ufumane umgangatho ophezulu wobomi.
Imithombo:
U-Beck, M. Uphilo lwe-Self-Consciousness.
Butler, G. (2008). Ukulwa nokukhathazeka kweNtlalo kunye neentloni. ENew York: IiNcwadi eziSiseko.