Iingcebiso zokuQala iingxoxo Xa Unenkxalabo yeNtlalo
Ukwazi ukwazi ukuqala incoko nomfokazi kulula kubantu abathile. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba unengxaki yokukhathazeka kwentlalo (SAD) , igumbi elizele abantu abangaziwayo lingasongela kakhulu. Ukuba umfo okhangeleyo ukuqala ingxoxo kunye nomntu ogunyazisiweyo, oku kusenokwenzeka ukuba kwongezelela uxhalaba lwakho.
Iqhinga lokuqala ingxoxo empeleni lilula-gxila kumnye umntu okanye uthethe into ekhanyayo.
Khumbula ukuba injongo yakho yenze nje ukuba wenze ingxelo yentetho. Oko utshoyo akubalulekanga njengokuba kukunika ithuba lokuba uthethe enye into.
1. Ukuphawula ngento ethile
Ngokuqhelekileyo, umntu ozama ukuqala ingxoxo uya kuba neyodwa into ekhethekileyo. Mhlawumbi yinto yezinto zokugqoka, ihempe engavamile, okanye mhlawumbi ne tattoo; into ecacileyo exelela ibali malunga nomntu. Izinto ezinjengalezi zikunika indawo yokuqala yengxoxo.
Yithetha into efana nale:
- "Wow, yinto efanelekileyo, iluphi uhlobo lwamatye?" okanye
- "Ikhati elimnandi, ngoko ke ungumtshutshisi oMnandi?" okanye nokuba,
- "Ingaba ngumfanekiso weYoda ehlombe lakho?"
Qiniseka ukuba ugweme nayiphi na into esondelene nayo njengento yokuqala okanye unokukhubekisa omnye umntu. Musa ukubuza ukuba ngaba ngumbala wakhe weenwele zangempela okanye ukuba uhlala ejimini.
Emva kokuba ufumene impendulo, unokunye into ekuthethayo okuza kukunika iqonga elifanayo apho ukwakha intetho kunye nolwalamano.
Ngaphambi kokuba uqale, cinga ngebali lokulandelela. Le yitshixo yokwakha ingxoxo.
Ukulandelelana nento ethile yento ephathelene nomnye umntu kwaye imxelela into enomdla ngawe:
- "Indawo yodwa endandiyibonayo into enjengelo ndoda yayikwindawo ye-bazaar e-India."
- Okanye "Utata wayeyiNtloko yokufa; wangithabatha ukuba ndibabone xa ndiyinkwenkwe."
- Okanye "Ndiyathanda amathonti, ndicinga ukufumana enye kodwa andiqinisekanga ukuba ndiyifumana njani? Wenze njani isigqibo kwiYoda?"
Zonke ezi ngxelo zikunceda ukunxibelelana nawe kumntu kwaye ugcine ingxoxo iyahamba. Khumbula, injongo ayikuthi yinto epheleleyo okanye ifike ngendlela ethile, kodwa ukuvula umnyango wencoko enkulu.
2. Zama ukuma okudala: "Ngaba andikubonanga ngaphambili?"
Ukunikezelwa kweemeko ezifanelekileyo, le ncoko yokuqala inokusebenza. Ukuba uthi kumntu, "Ubonakala uqhelene, ngaba ndiyazi kuwe?" yenza kube lula ukuqokelela nokunika ulwazi oluninzi kwaye uqale incoko.
- "Yiyiphi na isikolo esiphakeme?"
- "Ndiyilungu lokuhamba, ngaba udlala isandi?"
- "Ingaba usebenzaphi?"
- "Ndiye kuloo Starbucks."
Njengoko uhamba ngeenkcukacha zobomi bomntu obomnye, zive ukhululekile ukuphuma kwiindawo eziphathekayo. Khumbula, awufuni ngokwenene ukufumanisa ukuba udibana nawe ngaphambili; ufuna ukwazi ngakumbi ngomnye umntu.
3. Yenza izimvo ezintle.
Enye yezona ndlela ezilungileyo zokuqala ingxoxo kukuba wenze ingxelo ehlekisayo malunga neenxa zonke.
- "Hayi, umfundisi wethu ukhangeleka njengoHarry Potter?" okanye
- "Ngaba nguye mna, okanye umfana ohamba phambili elele?"
Khumbula ukuba kunjalo-injongo ayikuthi ibe yintliziyo-ukuvuthwa okanye ukugweba, ngoko qi ni sekisa ukugcina izimvo zakho zikhanya.
Emva koko, zama ukumema omnye umntu kwi-joke.
- "Ucinga ukuba uhlala phi i-wand magic yakhe?" okanye
- "Ucinga ukuba uya kulala kulo lonke iklasi?"
Yazi ukuba le ndlela yokuqalisa ingxoxo ingaba yingozi. Ubunzima kumntu ongazi kakuhle. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ufumana umntu onokwabelana ngesantya, kunokwenzeka ukuba kuya kuba ngumntu wobuhlobo obukhulu. Cinga ngeli xesha njengexesha lokuvavanya amanzi, ukufumana abantu abacinga ngendlela efanayo.
ILizwi
Khumbula ukuba naliphi na lezi ziqhinga liyakwazi ukuhluleka ixesha elithile. Ukuba awufumani impendulo enokuvela kumntu, kukho abanye abantu onokuya nabo.
Ukuba uqhubeka, ngokuhamba kwexesha kuya kuba lula ukuthetha nabantu abangabazi. Njengoko uqinisekile ngakumbi kwaye ukhululekile, awudingi ukuba uthembele kwiindlela zokuqalisa ukuthetha.
Ukuba unenkxalabo enkulu yentlalo , unyango lubalulekile, njengokonyango -ukuziphatha okanye unyango . Ngaphandle kokonyango olusebenzayo, iinkohliso ezifana nalezi ziqalo zengxoxo okanye ezinye izicwangciso zobuchule bezentlalo azikwazi ukuphumelela. Ucwaningo olwenziwa ngo-2016 lubonise ukuba abantu abanenkxalabo yentlalo badla ukungeneleli ngokulinganayo kwiintetho, kwaye ngenxa yoko bethandwa kakhulu, ngoko kubalulekile ukusebenzela uxhalaba lwakho kuqala.
> Umthombo:
> Mein C, Fay N, Page AC. Iintsilelo kwizenzo ezidibeneyo zichaza ukuba kutheni abantu abaxhalabileyo bathandwa kakhulu. J Behav Ther Exp Psychiatry . 2016; 50: 147-151.