Ukukhathazeka Kwezenhlalakahle Kwizingane Zokufunda
UTimoti uloyiko lwabantu abangaziwayo kwaye uloyiko lokujoyina abanye abantwana ekudlaleni.
Xa unina emnqamla esikolweni sokufundela, uyakhala ngokukhawuleza aze anamathele emlenzeni wakhe.
Xa ekugqibeleni uhlala phantsi uchitha ixesha elide ejonge abanye abantwana bedlala okanye badibana nootitshala.
Uloyiko lokujoyina kwi-show kwaye utshele kwaye ilula.
Ngaba uTimoti ufumana uloyiko oluqhelekileyo lobuntwaneni okanye ngaba unxungupheko lwentlalo?
Ukuba umntwana wakho oneminyaka engaphambi komfundi ubonisa iimpawu ezinoyiko kwiimeko zoluntu mhlawumbi uzibuze umbuzo ofanayo.
Ukuba ukuxhalaba kunye nokwesaba kukugqithiseleyo, kuhlale kukulungele ukubandakanya ingcali yengqondo yengqondo kwaye ufumane uluvo lweengcali. Nangona kunjalo, njengomzali, kuninzi ongakwenza ukuze uncede umntwana wakho oxhalabileyo okanye oyikayo .
Okokuqala, qwalasela ukuba indlela yokuziphatha ifana nabantwana basenkulanga okanye cha.
Yintoni "eqhelekileyo", into engekho?
Kuqhelekile ukuba abantwana babonise ukuxhalaba xa bekhula. Oku kubakho kuqala kubonisa ukwesaba abantu abangaqhelekanga abaneminyaka eli-6.
Uloyiko lunokukhula lube yinkxalabo phakathi kweenyanga ezili-12 neye-18; umntwana omncinci uya kuba nomsindo xa ehlukaniswe nomzali kule minyaka.
Kukho umahluko ngokwasemzimbeni phakathi kwabantwana ngokweendlela abavulekileyo ngayo kumava amatsha.
- "Elula" abantwana ngokuqhelekileyo bazivumelanisa neemeko ezintsha kunye nabantu kwaye bahlala bezolile kwaye bavuya.
- "Nciphisa ukufudumala" abantwana bathatha ixesha elincinane ukuba baqhelise kwiimeko ezintsha kwaye bavame ukuhoxisa ekuqaleni.
- "Abanzima" abantwana bayakhuthazwa lula ngabantu abatsha kunye neemeko, zineempembelelo ezinamandla kunye nokukwazi ukulungelelanisa.
Ngaphandle kwentsholongwane yoluntu kunye nokungafani kwendalo, abanye abantwana bafumana ukwesaba okukhulu nokuphazamisa abantu abatsha nakwiindawo.
Ukuba umntwana wakho unenkxalabo enkulu yentlalo, uya kuba neengxaki xa ezo ziimeko (njengokukhala, ukukhathazeka okanye ukunamathela) kwaye uya kuzama ukuphepha iimeko ezibangela ukwesaba kwakhe.
Eminye imizekelo yeentsholongwane eziqhelekileyo zobuntwana zibandakanya:
- ukuhlangana nabantu abangabaziyo
- ukujoyina kwiqela lezingane
- uthetha phambi kweklasi
- ukuba unqatshelwe esikolweni
Ukuba awuqinisekanga ukuba umntwana wakho unenkxalabo yentlalo, jonga izi ziphatha ezilandelayo:
- neentloni
- ukukhathazeka ukuzilalisa
- isimo sengqondo esichaphazelekayo malunga nokufunda
- Ukuziphatha okubhekayo (ilinda abanye abantwana kodwa engangeni)
Kwakhona, qwa lasela amabali umntwana wakho achukumisa ngexesha lokudlala. Ngokuqhelekileyo ukwesaba komntwana wakho kuya kufakwa kwimisebenzi kunye nezenzo zakhe zokudlala.
Kutheni kuyingxaki?
Unokucinga ukuba ekugqibeleni umntwana wakho uya kuphuma ehlazo lakhe. Ukuba kuqhelekileyo ukwesaba abantwana okwenzekayo oku kuyenzeka.
Nangona kunjalo, kwimeko yokuxhalaba kwezenhlalakahle, ukungenzi kakuhle kwinqanaba lakho kunokukhokelela kwiingxaki ezininzi emva koko. Kubalulekile ukuqwalasela impembelelo yokuvumela ukwesaba ukukhula kunokuba ubeke ukuyeka kwabo ekuqaleni.
Abantwana abavinjelwe kakhulu baye baboniswa ukuba basengozini ekuhambeni kweengxaki ezinjengexinzelelo kunye nokuxinezeleka.
Unokubona kwakhona imiba ekugqibeleni ihlangabezana neemfuno zentlalo nezemfundo zesikolo.
Yintoni enokuyenza?
Kukho into enokuthi yenziwe ngabazali ukwakha ukuzithemba kubafundi abakhathazekayo. Ukulungiselela umntwana wakho kuya kumnceda ukuba angcono ukujamelana nemingeni yobomi. Ngezantsi nje ziingcebiso ezimbalwa zokukunceda unciphise uxhalaba kwaye ulungiselele ngakumbi umntwana wakho kwiimfuno zoluntu kwindawo yakhe.
- Ukuxhalabisa kungafundwa kubazali. Umzekelo wokuzola nokuziphatha ngokuzithemba xa kunokwenzeka.
- Nika umntwana wakho amathuba okuhlaziya ngaphambi kweemeko ezintsha. Ngokomzekelo, yenza umboniso uze uxelele ekhaya ngaphambi kokuba athethe phambi kweklasi.
- Musa ukuba novelwano. Ububele obuninzi bufundisa umntwana wakho ukuba kukho into eyoyikisayo, kunokumbonisa indlela yokuhlangabezana nayo.
- Ukunikezela ngokukhuthaza. Khuthaza umntwanakho ukuba azame izinto ezintsha kodwa ungaziphoqeleli okanye uziphoqe.
- Gwema ukuba ungaphaya. Musa ukunciphisa ukukhanya komntwana wakho kwimiba eyoyikisayo okanye uya kufunda ukuphepha.
- Musa ukugxeka. Yiba ngumzali onothando ozinzileyo ukuba umntwana wakho unokuxhomekeka kuye.
- Jonga iividiyo okanye ufunde iincwadi malunga nezingane ezithembekileyo. Okanye, phawula abanye abantwana abanentembelo baze bathethe ngezinto aba bantwana abazenzayo.
- Musa ukuqwalasela ukuziphatha okuyikrakra. Kunoko, ukuncoma imizamo ekujongene neemeko ezinzima.
- Vula ootitshala kunye nabanakekeli. Thetha kwabo banakekela umntwana wakho malunga nendlela efanelekileyo yokuphuhlisa intembelo yentlalo. Qinisekisa ukuba nonke nisebenza kwiinjongo ezifanayo.
Kunokuba nzima ukukwazi indlela engcono yokunceda umntwana wakho oneminyaka engama-10 ubudala ohluphekayo.
Nangona unokuba nethemba lokuba uya kukhula ngokwesaba kwakhe, ukuthatha amanyathelo asebenzayo ukukhuthaza ukuthatha amathuba kunye nokunciphisa ukuphepha kukuthintela iingxaki zexesha elizayo.
Ukuba umntwana wakho unenkxalabo ephazamisayo yokuphazamisa ubomi bemihla ngemihla, unokufisa ukubonisana neengcali zempilo yengqondo ngokucwangcisa ngokupheleleyo kunye nokucwangcisa.
Imithombo:
Angold A, Egger HL. (2006). Izifo eziqhelekileyo zengqondo kunye neendlela zokuziphatha ezinganeni ezisenkulisa: ukunikela, i-nosology, kunye ne-epidemiology. Umbhalo we-Child Psychology, 47: 3/4, iphe 313-337.
ICoplan RJ. Ukuxhalaba kwezenhlalakahle kunye nokuhlengahlengiswa kweso sikolo. Ufikelele ngomhla we-25 kuMeyi, 2013.
Isiko soFundo lweNyuvesi yabantwana baseNew York. Ukuxhalabisa kwiMinyaka yokuFunda. Umqulu 11, iNombolo 4, ngoJuni 2007.