1 - "Kuba nje ukuba izethulo zithulile, akuthethi ukuba banamahloni."
Nangona ama- introverts enza i-40 ekhulwini labantu, abantu abanalo hlobo lobuninzi bahlala bebika ukuba abanye ababonakala bengayiqondi. Abanye abafundi bethu abaqalayo babelana ngezinto abazikholelwayo ezinye zeengcamango ezinkulu, iingcamango ezingalunganga kunye nokungaqondani malunga nokuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuzazisa.
Abantu ngamanye amaxesha benza impazamo yokucinga ukuba ngenxa yokuba umntu uhleli, oko kuthetha ukuba banamahloni. Nangona kunjalo, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba kukho umda omkhulu phakathi kokuqala, ukunyaniseka kunye nokuxhalaba kwezenhlalakahle .
Abantu abasanduliweyo abayixhalabisi ngokuthetha nabanye, nangona abanye abantu abasandul 'uqobo bava neentloni okanye ukuxhalaba kweentlalo .
Esikhundleni saloo nto, izethulo zivele zihlala zigcinwe kwaye zijika ngaphakathi. Bathanda ukumazi umntu ngaphezulu ngaphambi kokubandakanya kwingxoxo eninzi. Bakhetha ukucinga ngaphambi kokuba bathethe. Ngokuqhelekileyo abanakuyonwabela incoko enkulu okanye intetho encinci. Ngoko ngexesha elilandelayo xa uqaphela umntu ozolileyo kwaye egcinwe, ungacingi ukuba banentloni okanye besaba ukuthetha nabanye.
2 - "Andiyomsindo okanye ndidandathekile; ndifuna nje ukuba ndodwa kwithuba elithile."
Xa i-introvert iziva ixineke kakhulu, ihlala ifuna ixesha elincinci kunye nokuzimela. Ngelishwa, abantu ngamanye amaxesha bayichaza ngokucacileyo lo mnqweno wokuba wedwa njengemvakalelo engathandekiyo, njengokuba nomsindo, ecinezelekile, ukukhathazeka, okanye ukuxhalabisa.
Ukuba uyangenisa, ungakhumbula ukuxelelwa ngabazali okanye nabanye abantu abadala ukuba "baphume ekamelweni lakho kwaye bayeke ukukrazula," xa ubuzama ngokwenene ukuzama ukufumana ixesha elincinci. Abaninzi abanethuba bangamangaliswa xa befumanisa ukuba abanye abantu bayayichaza le mfuneko ukuba babe bodwa njengento ekhohlakeleyo okanye engavumiyo.
3 - "Ndiyidlala ngendlela yam idiosyncratic."
Ama-introverts awayiyo i-party-poopers. Ngethuba besenokuhlala bezolile kwiintlanganiso zentlalo ephakamileyo kunye enkulu, akuthethi ukuba abayonwabanga.
Kwiimeko ezininzi, ama-introverts egumbini anelisekile ukuhlala phantsi kwaye agcine, ethatha zonke izinto ezithakazelisayo, izandi kunye nezingxoxo. Bafuna ukwazi kwaye bafuna ukufunda ngakumbi ngehlabathi kunye nabantu ababajikelezile. Nangona i- extroverts ikwazi ukufezekisa ngokubuza imibuzo nokuqalisa iingxoxo, izethulo zikhetha ukuphulaphula nokucinga.
4 - "Ama-introverts ayenzihlazo."
Ndaye ndaba nomhlobo othembele kakhulu oye wathetha ukuba ngamanye amaxesha ama-introverts ayamkhathaza. "Ndandicinga ukuba unesiqhelo xa ndiqala ukudibana nawe," wachaza. "Uhlala uzolile, ngoko andikazi ukuba ucinga ntoni."
Esikhundleni sokutolika oku kulondolozwa kokuqala njengento yokunyaniseka, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba i-introvert ingafuna ukuba ukwazi kangcono ngaphambi kokuba uzive ekhululekile kwaye ekulungele ukuvula.
5 - "Ama-introverts awayinqwenela."
Ngokwezinye iingqikelelo, ubuninzi bama-40 ekhulwini okanye abantu abaninzi bazisile ngokwabo. Ngokusekelwe kulawo manani kuphela, ukungeniswa ngokuqinisekileyo akuyinto engathandekiyo, engahambelaniyo okanye eyintsimbi.
Ngamanye amaxesha ama-Introverts athatyathwa ngokungenangqiqo. Mhlawumbi oku kubangelwa ukuba ama-introverts athambekele ekulandeleni iimfuno zabo kunokuba bathathele ingqalelo kwizinto ezithandwayo okanye eziqhelekileyo.
6 - "Ama-Introverts afuni ukuhlala yedwa ngaso sonke isikhathi."
Nangona i-introverts ingafuna ukuba nexesha elithile yodwa imihla ngemihla ukuze ibuyisele amandla abo, ngokuqinisekileyo ayithethi ukuba bafuna ukuba yedwa ngexesha lonke.
Ama-introverts enjenjalo anokuchitha ixesha kunye nabantu abazi kakuhle. Kuphela nje ukuba badinga ixesha lokuthula ukuze badibanise kwaye baphinde bafumane amandla abasebenzisayo ngelixa behlala.
7 - "Ama-introverts ayenawo agoraphobic."
Kungenxa yokuba izethulo zithule kwaye zizonwaba ixesha lokuzimela lithetha ukuba bathathwe yi-agoraphobia . Ngokuqinisekileyo, abanye abantu bobabini bangeniswa kunye ne-agoraphobic, kodwa enye ayikho inkomba yomnye.
Abaninzi baqalayo bazichaza ngokuthi "ama-homebodies," okanye abantu abanandipha ngokukhawulela ekhaya baze banandipha intsapho yabo kunye nezinto ezithandwayo. Oku akuthethi ukuba bayesaba iindawo zoluntu.
8 - "Ama-Introverts awanakho ukuzithoba."
Enye into engafanelekanga engafanelekanga malunga neentetho kukuba zizolile kwaye zigcinwe ngenxa yokuba zizithoba okanye zithembeke.
Oku kunokuba yingxaki kubantwana abangeniswayo abahlala bexhaswa kwiimeko ngabantu abadala abacinga ukuba ukuhlalisana yindlela yokulungisa "abantwana abayibona njengamahloni nabangakhuselekanga. Abantwana abafumana impendulo rhoqo kubantu abadala kunye noontanga ukuba kukho into ephosakeleyo ngokubhekiselele kubuntu babo, ke kunjalo, baqale ukuzibuza ngokwabo.
Iphulo: Musa ukucinga ukuba umntwana ogcinwe ngumntwana uyazimela.
9 - "Ama-Introverts abathandi abantu."
Abantu abafakela ngokutsha bangabonakali. Enyanisweni, i-introverts inomdla kakhulu kubantu; Baziva bekhathala ngenxa yokuthetha kunye nokuzonwabisa. Ingakumbi ininzi yokuthetha okungenamfuneko.
Intetho encinci yinto eyenza uninzi lwama-introverts cringe. Into abayidingayo isizathu sokuthetha. Qala ingxoxo enomdla malunga nento ethile i-introvert iyakhathalela kwaye usenokufumanisa ukuba banokuba ngumntu othetha kakhulu egumbini.
10 - "Ama-Introverts awaphuli kwaye akadingeki ukuba agqitywe."
I-Introversion ihlala iphathwa njengento efuna ukunqotshwa.
Abaninzi abasethuli babika ukuba ootitshala nabanye abantu bahlala bephoqeleke kwiimeko apho baziva bengakhululeki okanye bexakeke-benza umfundi ozolileyo ukuba athathe inkokheli yeqela, emnika umntwana ogcinweyo indima ehamba phambili ekwenzeni iklasi, kunye nokudibanisa abantwana abathulile iifana ezithandwa kakhulu kwiiklasi zezabelo zeqela, umzekelo. Izenzo ezinjalo zihlala zihamba kunye nesicaciso esisodwa (kodwa sichazwa kakubi): "Uzolile kwaye ufike ngaphandle koko kuya kukunceda ufike ngaphaya kwayo!"
Kodwa ukuzazisa akuyona into "yokugqithisa." Ukunyaniseka okukhulu kunye nokuxhalaba kwintlalo ngokuqinisekileyo kukho iingxaki ezimele ziqwalaselwe, ingakumbi ukuba zibangele ukukhathazeka okukhulu okanye ukuphazamiseka kwimpilo yemihla ngemihla. Kodwa ezi zinto kufuneka ziqwalaselwe ngendlela enobubele kunye nezobugcisa. Ukunyanzela umntwana ohlazo okanye uxhalabisayo kwiimeko zentlalo apho baziva bexakekile okanye bengakhathazeki akuyona indlela efanelekileyo kakhulu yokujongana nayo.
Njengoko kuphawuliwe ngaphambili, ukuzola kunye neentloni akunjalo into efanayo. Ama-Introverts akudingeki ukuba aphulwe aze ahlaziywe.
11 - "Ukuxelelwa ukuba 'uyathula' kubini bububi kwaye bungaqondi."
Ama-Introverts awawenawo kuphela uhlobo lwezinto ezingaqondakaliyo ngamanye amaxesha. Ukugqithisa ngokusoloko kutyholwa ngabo abangaziqondi njengento ephakamileyo kunye nokuthetha ngokugqithiseleyo.
Njengoko umfundi omnye echaza, ukuba u-introvert, ehlala exelelwa ukuba "uyathula" kufana nokutshilozela ukuba "abazange bavale." Akuyinto engacamnganga kwaye iza nenxaxheba yokuba kukho into engalunganga kumntu.
Ubomi bomi babini kufuneka benze umgudu wokuqonda abo bahluke kubo. Ama-Introverts aneemfuno zabo kunye neenqwelo zabo, njengoko kunjalo.
Okubaluleke kakhulu, akuyiyo yonke intshayelelo (okanye i-extroverts) efanayo. Udweba udidi lwabomi bunye kunye nemivalo ebanzi lulahleka yonke imiba kunye neenkcukacha ezenza umntu ngamnye abe yedwa. Kodwa ukufunda okungakumbi malunga nendlela abantu abaneentlobo zobuntu abanokucinga, ukwenza kunye nokuvakalelwa kunokwenza ngcono ukuqonda kwakho ngabantu abahlukileyo nawe.
Imbulelo ekhethekileyo kubo bonke abafundi bam abazimisele ukuxelela abanye amava kunye namava abo kule ngqungquthela.