Iziganeko ezili-12 ze-AA kunye ne-Al-Anon
Ukwenza izilungiso kunokubonakala ngathi iipilisi ezibuhlungu ziyayigwinya, kodwa ezo zinto zinzulu malunga nokubuyiselwa, ingaba yonyango elungileyo lomoya nomphefumlo.
Isinyathelo 9
Yenziwe ngokucacileyo kubantu abanjalo apho kunokwenzeka, ngaphandle kokuba ukwenza njalo kuya kubalimaza okanye abanye.
Isinyathelo 9 sinye enye yezinyathelo ezili-12, okokuqala ukuba kubonakala kunzima kakhulu, kodwa umvuzo wokubeka lo mgaqo usebenza kakhulu.
Umgaqo wokomoya ochaphazelekayo kukuxolela, kungekhona kwabanye kuphela kodwa ukuxolelwa, oko kunokubangela ukuphulukiswa kuzo zombini.
Emva kokugqiba isigaba se-8 - wenza uluhlu lwabantu bonke esibenzileyo, kwaye sizimisele ukulungiswa kubo bonke - isinyathelo esilandelayo senze ukuba abo bahlaziywe ukuba kunokwenzeka, kwaye icebiso lokukwenza oko ngqo kubantu zenzakele. Ngokwenza ngokucacileyo ulungiso kumntu owenzakalisa isilingo sokukhanda umba ngenxa yokuhlazeka okanye intlungu.
Elula kodwa Akunzima!
Kodwa abo benza izilungiso bafumana amaninzi amaxesha ukuba umntu abaye balimala kakhulu kunokuba avume ukuwamkela abo bahlaziya ngokuzonwabisa - kwaye inkqubo yokuphulukisa ayiqali nje kuphela kulwalamano kodwa kumntu ngamnye.
Oku akusoloko kunjalo, nangona kunjalo. Ngamanye amaxesha ilungu elenzakele alizimisele ukuxolela kwaye lilibale. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba, inkqubela yokomoya kulabo bahlaziywa kuxhomekeke ekubeni benza inxaxheba yabo ngokufanelekileyo kwaye benze izilungiso ngqo.
Eli nyathelo lithwala imeko - ngaphandle kokuba ukwenza oko kuya kubalimaza okanye abanye . Ukuba isenzo sokwenza izilungiso siya kuvula amanxeba endala okanye senze ingozi entsha, ngoko ukulungiswa ngqo kufanele kugwenywe. Inzuzo yokwenza isilungiso kumntu ophulukileyo ayithethi ngaphezu kwesidingo sokwenza okubi.
Yintoni Ukwenza Ukulungiswa Kufuneka Uyenze Ngokwenene?
Ukuba umnqweno wakho ukuhlala ungenangqondo, ngoko kubalulekile ukuthatha eli nyathelo ukulungisa xa kunokwenzeka, kuba ukuba ungaphumeleli ukwenza oko, unokubuya ukuza kubangela iingxaki kamva.
Ukuba uyazi ukuba unobungozi kwabanye ngexesha lakho lokusela okanye uboleke imali kwaye awuzange uyihlawule, kwaye awuzami ukumisela imeko ngokufanelekileyo, ngoko kukho ithuba elihle lo mbandela uya kuvuka kwakhona xa ngaba ingaba yinkohlakalo yokuphindaphinda.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuba ujongana nale meko kwixesha elidlulileyo, ke akukho ndlela yokubuyela kuyo kwaye ikulume emva koko. Ujongene nayo ngokufanelekileyo, ugcine uhlangothi lwakho lwesitalato ucocekile, kwaye ubeke impazamo kwixesha elidlulileyo emva kwakho.
Utywala lunokuba sisifo esibulalayo. Musa ukuyeka ukuxolisa okanye ukuhlawula ityala oba neyona nto ingxaki enkulu kwixesha elizayo, oku kunokubangela ukuba uthathe isiselo.
Abaveleli beli bhsayithi baye babelane ngamava abo ngokusebenza Isinyathelo 9. Nazi ezinye zamabali abo:
Ukujongana neNyaniso
Owu, oku kuyinyathelo elibi kum. Ndiyakuthanda ukufihla imemori yeziphambeko zangaphambili ngaphantsi kwe-ambulera ehlala ihambayo ye "Akenzanga ukuba andiyikhumbuli".
Ekubeni ndichitha iminyaka kwi-boozy haze zonke iintlobo zobuhlungu zazinganakwa.
Ngexesha lokuphuza "umsebenzi wam" ndandidla kude neentsapho zam, ke akukho nto ifunekayo. Aphosakeleyo! Ukujongana nento yokuba ukushiyeka kungabangela ubuhlungu kwenzeni le nyathelo lokuphilisa ngamandla. Kwaye ndiqhubeka ndiwusebenza ngokuhlala ngenyameko , leyo yindlela yokulungiswa.
UCarol
Ukulungiswa, kungekhona ukuxolisa
Yintoni ehlongozwayo? Impendulo yobugcisa isichibiyelo yinguqu. Isilungiso asixolisi. Isenzo esicacileyo nesenjongo esilungiselelwe ukususa ingxaki kwixesha elidlulileyo.
Ukuba ndiyingozi umntu, kwaye emva kokusebenza kwamanyathelo afikelele kwinqanaba lokwenza izilungiso, kuwumsebenzi wam ukuba ndihlale phantsi nomntu kwaye ndichaze ngokupheleleyo malunga nokusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi, inkqubo yam yokwayo, okokukoyika kwam, kwaye ukuba nditshintshile njani njengomntu.
Ukuba ndinetyala lezinto eziphathekayo, ndiyibuyisela kwakhona, ngenomdla xa kuyimfuneko. Ukuba into endikweleta yona ayikwazi ukulinganiswa ngegolide okanye ezinye izinto eziphathekayo, ngoko ndimele ndithobe ngokuthobeka ukucela ukuxolelwa ngenxa yokungaziphathi kakuhle kwaye ndihambe ngendlela yam. (Liliphi ixabiso lentlungu?)
Sox
Amathuba okuPhulukisa
Xa ndabona kuqala isinyathelo se-9, ndenza izilungiso kuba ekugqibeleni ndazibona izinto ezahlukeneyo, ndaza ndazibona inxaxheba kwintlungu eyabangela ukuba ndize ndiveze kubo, ndize ndizive ndingcono kwaye ndivumele ukuba ndibe netyala lokuba nalo .
Le nto yayiyisiqalo esihle kum kodwa kwakukho ezininzi "mna" njengoko ndifumene le nyathelo. Njengawo onke amanyathelo am ndiwafumene, ukuba njengoko ixesha liqhubeka libonisa ngakumbi nangakumbi kum. Ndifumene ukuba kukho ubunzulu obungokomoya kubo. Ngaphezulu ndayenza le nyathelo ngakumbi ndafumanisa indlela uphiliso oluvela kuyo kwaye kungekhona nje kum.
Njengoko kwimivuzo eninzi eyenziwe, ndafumanisa ukuba kwakungekho "mna" oye waphazamiseka. Ekuvuleleleni iimpazamo ezidlulileyo kunye nokwenza abo bahlengahlengayo, abaninzi abantu abathandekayo nabanomdla baye bafumana ukuphulukiswa, ukuqonda kunye nezimpendulo kwizinto ababezibambe ixesha elide. Inyaniso yabasindisa.
Ngoko xa ndiyazi ngokulimala ndiye ndabangela omnye umntu, ndiyayithwala ngokunyanisekileyo umphefumlo wam ukwenza okungalunganga ukwenzela ukuba omnye umntu akadingeki athwale naliphi na udoti ogqithiseleyo, aphephe ingqondo ngokuphindaphindiweyo ezama ukuyenza ingqiqo kwilori yeMack eyayibaleka. Siyintsikelelo njani ukuba sikhululeke kwixesha elidlulileyo, kwaye sinike isipho sokunceda omnye.
Alethea
Ukwamkela iNxalenye engayidlalayo
Ndandisoloko ndicinga ukuba ndibe ndilungiswa ngokuthe ngqo xa ndimazile abanye. Ndiyaxolisa ngenxa yam iimpazamo kwaye ndiyithandazele ukuba ndikwazi ukuphinda ndiphinda ndiyenze. Yiloo nto endiziva ngayo ngaphambi kokuba ndize e-Al-Anon.
Kodwa xa ndasebenza le nyathelo kunye nomxhasi wam, ndaqonda ukuba ndibenemiba emininzi endiyibonayo ukuba ndiyilungele. Eyokuqala ukuba ngabadakwala ebomini bam, ndinegalelo kwisifo sabo kwaye ndingazi into endiyenze kubo.
Ngenxa yothando, ndazama ukubanceda , ndacinga. Kodwa ngoku uyazi ukuba ndiyithatha i-inventory yabo. Ngokokuqala ndakufuneka ndibenze ukulungiswa kwam. Ngokuqinisekileyo kwakuphilisa. Akunakuba buhlungu njengoko ndicinga ukuba kuya kuba.
Kwaye ndaqonda ukuba ebuntwaneni bam, ukuba ndibe ndithi ubaba wam izinto ngenxa yam into eyenziwa nguMama ngokuzama ukumnquma ukusela . Kwaphela iminyaka wayesela kwaye waqalisa kamva ebomini bam, ngoko ke ndathetha ngamanyathelo akhe ngokumisela.
Inkqubo kunye neli nyathelo zenze ukuba ndibone ukuba yinto yawo; benza ukhetho. Oku kwaba emva kokufa kwabo bobabini kwaye ndiyaxolisa ukuba andinakuyithatha loo mbandela kunye nabo. Kodwa ndiyazi baya kukwazi, Siye sazinza yonke into eyenza silungelelanise kwaye sinobubele ubomi babo bonke. Oku kwenza ukuba ndiqonde ngakumbi nangakumbi ukuba le nkqubo yinkqubo yokuphila.
Kwaye ndivuyiswa kukuba sinesi sinyathelo, sihlala sinyanisekile thina nabanye!
Imemori