Indlela yokwenza umntu onobungozi Ngaphambi kokubandakanyeka nguSandra L. Brown ubonisa iintlobo ezisibhozo zabantu abanobubi, uhlola ukuba kutheni abanye abantu besifazane bakhangwa kumadoda onobungozi, banikeza iiflegi ezibomvu kunye nezibalo ezibomvu ngamnye, kwaye ziquka ibali leempumelelo kunye nokuhluleka. Le ncwadi ijoliswe "kuwo onke amabhinqa anembali yobudlelwane obubi kwaye afuna ukuphinda aphinde alawulwe ubomi bawo."
Ukuchithwa kweeNgxaki
Kwandithatha ixesha elithile ukuba ndibone oko kwakungalunganga kule ncwadi. Ndibonile ngaphezu kwesabelo sam esilungileyo sabasetyhini abenzakala yiloo nto uSandra Brown abiza ngokuthi "amadoda anobungozi," kwaye sinqwenela ukuba sikulungele ukulungiselela abantwana bethu ukuba baqonde xa besetyenziselwa, basebenzise okanye bathathwe kakubi, ukuze bakwazi ukuzikhusela . Kodwa into ayengazange ayive kakuhle malunga nendlela le ngcaciso efanelekileyo inikwe ngayo.
Emva koko undibethe-uSandra Brown ubuhlungu kukuba abantu abathile abanobungozi basuke bephosakele kangangokuthi akukho ndawo yokubandakanyeka nala madoda, okanye ukuhlala nabo ukuba sele sele ulwalamano, kuba abayi kuze yingozi, okanye yeka ukusebenzisa kwakho ukuhlangabezana neemfuno zabo. Ubuncwane bam buhluke-ndikholelwa ukuba wonke umntu unako utshintsho kwaye ukuba ubudlelwane kuthatha umsebenzi nokuzinikela.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba umntu uye wanyanzeliswa okanye udlalwa ngokwesondo okanye yena okanye oonyana bakho, kufuneka ufike kude naye kunokwenzeka, ngokukhawuleza.
Njengomfundi, kuya kufuneka uyenze ingqondo yakho malunga nokuba uyakholelwa ukuba umntu onokuthi unomdla kuye kuyingozi kwaye ufaneleke ingozi echazwe kule ncwadi.
Iintlobo ezisibhozo zomntu onobungozi
Amadoda enobungozi, achazwa ngokuthi "ukukhathazeka kwamathambo kunye nobuntu," anikezwa njengeentlobo ezisibhozo ezahlukileyo, ezinye zazo zingabakholelwa kumntu ofanayo.
Ngokukodwa, " umlutha " ulala kunye nezinye iintlobo.
UBrown ubonisa iintlobo ezisibhozo zamadoda anobungozi:
- I-Clinger Yomhlala-Akunakulungi, amaxhoba azinikezelayo ayenomngcipheko omkhulu "osondeza ubomi ngaphandle kwakho."
- Abafunayo Abazali -Amadoda athile afuna ukuba uwajongele.
- Umntu ongenakuthola uMoya-uMa sele sele ezinikezele kwelinye iqabane kwaye akayi kuyenza kuwe.
- Umntu Ophethe Ubomi Ofihliweyo -Abantu abafihlakeleyo iimfihlelo ezimele zityhilelwe kumlingane, njengabantwana, izifo, ezidlulileyo, okanye umlutha.
- Umntu Okhubazekayo-Indoda kunoma yiphina inqanaba lokusebenza elinesifo sengqondo.
- Umlutha-Olu hlobo -lonke uluhlu lubandakanya nawuphi na umntu onalolu hlobo lomlutha, kuquka utywala kunye neziyobisi , isondo , ukugembula , ukutya , kunye nezinye izinto zokuziphatha, kuquka umsebenzi.
- Umntu ongekhoyo okanye onobudlova -Abantu abaxhaphazayo nangayiphi na indlela, kuquka ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba , ngokomzimba , nangokwezesondo .
- I-Predator ye-Emotional -Men ofuna nokuhlushwa abafazi abasengozini, kuquka ne-psychopaths.
Kutheni ezi zigaba zingakhohlisa
Ukutshatyalaliswa kwamadoda kukunyanyisa kwaye kwingozi. Abantu abaninzi bahlangabezana nobunzima obunokuthi bachongiwe kule nkalo, kodwa oko akubafaki kulwaphulo-mthetho kunye ne-psychopaths.
Abantu abaninzi abanezilingo kunye neengxaki zempilo yengqondo banalo ubudlelwane obunothando kunye namaqabane abo kunye neentsapho, kwaye abaninzi abantu abanezidakamizwa bahamba nale mizabalazo ebomini babo ngaphandle kokuyingozi.
Amadoda enobungozi achazwe ngokubanzi
Ngokuqinisekileyo kukho amadoda amaninzi anobungozi ngaphandle apho, ngokukodwa kwihlabathi lezobisi. Le ncwadi igxininise ekuboneni amaqabane angabungozi bokuthandana, kodwa abathengisi beziyobisi kunye neepmps nabo banokuxhatshazwa ngokukodwa ngabasetyhini abachaphazelekayo kwizilwanyana ezingekho mthethweni kunye nomsebenzi wesondo , kwaye kunengqiqo, ukuba unxaxheba kweli hlabathi, ukuba uhlale unolwazi kwaye ukhusele ukuba ungalimanga.
Kodwa ininzi yamadoda exoxwa ngayo kule ncwadi ayilona yingozi njengabathengisi beziyobisi kunye neepimps. Yaye yilapho yonke into iphosa. Isiseko sencwadi kukubona umntu onobungozi ngaphambi kokubandakanyeka, okwenza ingcamango yonke yabantu ibe yintsholongwane ize ibonakale inetyala engenakwenzeka. Ngokuqinisekileyo, xa umntu eziphatha ngendlela ebonisa ukungabi nantlonelo, unento yokuvavanya, kodwa icebiso elikhulu leBrown lijolise ekulandeleni intuition yakho ye-innate, ebonakala ngokubhekiselele kuyo nayiphi na ingqiqo.
Ubuthathaka kwiiArguments
Ndiyaqonda ukuba imbono kaBrown isekelwe kwiminyaka emininzi yokusebenza nabasetyhini abasetyenziswe kakubi, ngoko uye wabona ezinye zeemeko ezibi kakhulu ezivela kubasetyhini abasondela kumadoda onobungozi. Kodwa ukuxwayisa abasetyhini ngokuhlala kude nabantu ababa ngabadlwenguli okanye ababulali baxakeka kakhulu, kwaye njengoko echaza, la madoda enza umzamo omkhulu wokuthakazelisa kwaye avele eqhelekileyo, ngoko andiqinisekanga ukuba abaninzi abafazi "banokuqonda" nokuba Indoda edibene nayo yenye yezinto ezincinci zamadoda. Ngokweqile, kukho kwakhona iimeko ezibhalwe kakuhle kubasetyhini, umntwana kunye neengqondo zengqondo zentsha, abantu abanobungozi abakho bonke abantu.
Oko Abafazi Abafuna Ukugxila Kulo
Ndicinga ukuba uBrown ubonisa ezinye iiflegi ezibomvu ezingabonakalisa ukuba indoda enokuthi inokulimaza kuwe, kwaye ulwalamano lunokuba lunamandla ebomini bakho, njengale:
- Unqwenela ukuba uya kuhamba, ufuna ukukhala, okanye ufuna ukuqhuba.
- Uloyiko lwakhe umnxeba.
- Uziva uzibi ngawe xa uhamba naye.
Nangona kunjalo, ezinye zezinto kwiluhlu olufanayo ziziimvakalelo ezinokubakho ubudlelwane obuqhelekileyo, kwaye akunakho ukubonisa ukuba iqabane lakho okanye iqabane elinokuthi lithembeke, njengalokhu:
- Uziva ungakhululekile malunga nento athethileyo okanye eyenziwe, yaye ivakalelo luhlala.
- Ixesha lakho elidlulileyo kunye nelo lakhe lihluke kakhulu, kwaye bobabini niphikisana nayo.
- Ucinga ukuba uyamthakazelisa okanye into encinci "yinto enhle ukuba yinyani."
Kwaye kuninzi kubonakala kubonisa ukuba umfazi ngokwenene unenkinga ekufuneka ayithwale uxanduva, okungekho nto enokuyenza nendoda, njengale:
- Uxelela abahlobo ongaqinisekanga ngolwalamano.
- Uziva uzixhamle kolunye ulwalamano kunye nabahlobo kunye nosapho.
- Ucinga ukuba nguwe kuphela onokukunceda / ukumthanda / ukumqonda.
Iingcamango Zonke
Ngokubanzi, kukho nolwazi oluncedo ngokwenene kule ncwadi kubasetyhini abandakanyekayo nabesilisa abahlukumezayo, abantu bobabini abesilisa ababandakanyekayo kwimichiza okanye kwintsebenziswano yezesondo, okanye abanomdla wokuhlangana nomlingane onokubakho. Kodwa ukuba nolwalamano oluzalisekileyo alukho nje ukudibana nomntu ongeyingozi ongeyingozi- kukufuna ukuba ubonakalise ubuthathaka bakho kwaye unqobe imiba yakho. Kwaye awuyi kufumana isikhokelo malunga nendlela yokwenza loo ndlela ngendlela ongayifaka ngayo umntu onobungozi.
Thenga kwi-Amazon
Ukuchazwa: Ikopi yokuhlaziywa yanikwa umvakalisi.