Ukufundisa abantwana ukuziqonda nokuphendula
Ukuba ubuza umntwana omncinci emva kokuziphatha ngendlela engalunganga okanye engalunganga, "Kutheni wenze njalo?" Mhlawumbi uya kufumana impendulo "Andizi". Inyaniso kukuba, abaninzi abantwana abanokukwazi ukuba kutheni benza into ethile, ngoko ngokwenene abantwana bathembekileyo. Abantu abadala bacela umzekelo ukuba bazinike isizathu sokuba baziphatha ngendlela ethile kuba bacinga ukuba: "Oo, ukuba ndibafumana nje ukuba banginike isizathu, ngoko abayi kuyenza loo mfundiso kwakhona." Uninzi lwabazali unetyala lokubuza ngokuphindaphindiweyo lo mbuzo nangona bengawuqwalasela ukuba cishe awuzange uthintele ukuvela kwezenzo kwixesha elizayo.
Ukubuza abantwana bethu ukuba kutheni kungaguquki ukuziphatha, kodwa njengabazali, siyaqhubeka senza njalo.
Shift ukudala. Ukho entlanganisweni kwaye umntu ufika emva kwexesha kwaye ucele, "Kutheni ufike emva?" Lo mntu omdala ukuxelela ntoni? Unokwenza zonke iintlobo zamabali okanye izizathu zokuthi kutheni sele ephuzile. Xa sikhulile, siyakwamkela ezi zizathu zokuthi zilungele ukukhawuleza kwaye sizenza zilungile nangona i-lateness ivelisa ezininzi iingxaki.
Ngelishwa, xa sifikela kumkhwa wokuhlala sibuza "kutheni" malunga nokuziphatha okubi , sinokuqeqesha abantwana bethu ngokungazenzisi ukuba benze izizathu zokuziphatha kwabo. Ngokukhawuleza, ngokuqhelekileyo ebusheni, abantwana banokucinga; "Ewe, ukuba ndiza kunika izizathu ezintle zokuba ndiyenze into ethile, baya kundiyeka ndedwa." Ingxaki yile nto ayitshintshi ukuziphatha. Into endiyifunayo ngumntwana kukuba ndiyakwenza oko ndifuna ukuyenza ngokude ndenze ibali elilungileyo malunga nalo.
Kwakhona kwandinika ithuba lokuphikisana ngako oko kuba abazali bam baya kuncitshiswa ukuba babuyisele kwakhona.
Michael Manos, Ph.D. uyintloko yeziko leMpilo yeZempilo kwi-Cleveland Clinic yeZibhedlele zezingane kunye nokusekela uMlawuli weKlinikhi kunye neNkqubo yeZiko le-ADHD kwiziko leZiko lokuHlola kunye neNyango kwiCliniki yaseCleveland.
Usebenze iminyaka engaphezu kwe-25 kwimpilo yengqondo, imfundo ekhethekileyo, kunye nengqondo yengane kunye nentsha. UDkt. Manos usikisela ukuba siyeke ukubuza abantwana bethu isizathu sokuba siqale sibuze ii-4.
Eyokuqala ye-4 WHATS icela umntwana ukuba abone ukuziphatha.
- 1. Yintoni oyenzile?
Okwesibini KUTHETHA ntoni nemiphumo yokuziphatha komntwana.
- 2. Yintoni eyenzekayo xa wenza njalo?
Le mibuzo emibili ichaza ukuziphatha kunye nesiphumo. Ngalolu hlobo, uchaza uDkt. Manos, unceda umntwana ukuba afunde ukuzamekela-ukujonga ukuziphatha kwabo kwaye abone indlela abaziphatha ngayo kwimeko kunye nabantu ababajikelezile. Oku kunamandla ngakumbi kubantwana abane- ADHD abahlala benenkinga yokudibanisa amachaphaza phakathi kokuziphatha kwabo kunye nemiphumo yokuziphatha okuvelisa.
UDkt. Manos uchaza izicathulo ezimbalwa malunga nokuphunyezwa kwe-4 WHATS. Uninzi lwa bantwana aluyi kukuxelela oko benzayo; Baya kubeka omnye umntu - omnye umntwana okanye wena-ukuba unomlando omdala wokubabuza ukuba kutheni. Ngoko baphelisa ukuphazamisa ukuphendula. "Ucebisa ukuba uqale ezimbini ze-WHATS ekuqaleni. Uyachaza konke oku kulandelayo ukufundisa umntwana ukuba alandele kwaye achaze indlela aziphathe ngayo, azigcinele, kwaye azigcine iziphumo zabo izenzo kwihlabathi elibangqongileyo.
Emva kokuba umntwana eqala ukwenza iingeniso kulo mqondo nokuqonda ngokuziphatha kwakhe, abazali banokuzongeza ii-WHATS ezilandelayo ezihlobene nokuziphatha kwangomso.
- 3. Yintoni Ongayenza Ngayo Endaweni?
- 4. Yintoni eya kuyenzeka Ukuba Uyenzile Okwenziweyo?
Utsho uDkt. Manos uthi: "I-WHATS isicwangciso esiphezulu kakhulu, kuba abantu abaninzi abazi kakuhle, abazimeliyo, kwaye bakhula ukuze bahlasele i-blame, banikele izizathu, kwaye bangaxanduva." I-WHATS i-4 iyakuthetha oku kwaye inceda umntwana ufunde kwaye asebenzise ukuziphatha okufanelekileyo ukutshintsha indlela engafanelekanga ngayo.
Njengazo zonke izicwangciso zokulawula ukuziphatha, kubalulekile ukukhumbuza ukuba ungasebenzisi 4 I-WHATS xa udidekile okanye xa umntwana wakho ecasulayo. Indlela ezolile kunye nokungathathi hlangothi , engeyiyo yokugxeka izakuvelisa ngakumbi kwaye iqhube kakuhle ekufundeni-kwaye amava aya kuyanelisa kakhulu kubazali kunye nabantwana.
Umthombo:
Michael Manos, PhD. I-intetho yocingo / incwadi ye-imeyile. Disemba 8, 2009 noJanuwari 18, 2010