Ukuxinezeleka kunye nokuxhalaba akuchaphazeli kuphela umntu onesifo. Ezi zigulo nazo zinefuthe elide kwiintsapho kunye nabahlobo babo bafunyaniswayo. Ngokukodwa, abo banonophelo olusisiseko kumntu onenkxalabo okanye uxinzelelo baya kuba nefuthe elikhulu. Ukuba ucinga ngokuthatha le nxaxheba okanye uye waxhomekeka kuwe, kunokukunceda ukuqonda oko kulindeleke kuwe kunye nendlela ongayigxila ngayo impilo yakho yengqondo endleleni.
Ngokwe-National Institute of Health mentals (NIMH), ngo-2015, kwaqikelelwa ukuba abantu abadala abayi-16.1, okanye ama-6.7 ekhulwini labantu abali-18 okanye ngaphezulu eUnited States babenomsebenzi omnye okanye ngaphezulu ophazamisayo kunyaka owedlule. Ukongeza, siyazi ukuba malunga neepesenti ezingama-18 zabantu babemi ngxaki yokukhathazeka kunyaka odluleyo, okanye malunga nabantu abadala abayi-40. Ukuba umhlobo wakho ewela kwelinye lala maqela, unokuziva ungancedi okanye uzibuze indlela onokukunceda ngayo.
Ngubani Umncedisi?
Ngethuba sinokuthi sicinge ngomnakekeli njengomlingane okanye umntwana womntu ogula ngengqondo, abantakwabo, abazali, abahlobo kunye nabanye abaxhasi bangayenza le nxaxheba. Inkxaso abanikezelayo ijolise ekuncedeni umntu ngokudandatheka kunye / okanye ukuxhalabisa ukulawula iinkalo ezahlukeneyo zobomi ezifana nokuphila ngokomzwelo nangokwenyama, ukusebenzisana nentlalo kunye nemicimbi yezemali.
Ukuqaphela Ukugula Kwengqondo: Ukuxhalabisa
Ngezigaba zokuqala, ukunyamekela ukudandatheka okanye ukuxhalaba kunokubandakanya ukugqiba ukuba ngaba ingxaki ikhoyo.
Mhlawumbi uvakalelwa kukuba into ayilungile kumntu omthandayo kodwa akaqinisekanga ukuba aqhubeke njani.
Iimpawu zokuxhalabisa ziqokelelwe luhlobo lokuxilongwa kwakho owamthandayo. Izifo ezinxulumene nokunyamezela kunye nezixinzelelo ezixinzelelekileyo ezixinzelelekileyo zixhalaba njengento ebalulekileyo; Nangona kunjalo, ngoku bazinyathelo zabo zokuxilonga.
Ngokwezigaba ezikhoyo, iintlobo ezinhlanu eziphambili zengxaki yokuxhalabisa ziquka ukuphazamiseka kwengxaki, i-agoraphobia, ingxaki yokukhathazeka jikelele (i-GAD), ingxaki yokukhathazeka kwentlalo (SAD) kunye ne-phobia ethile. Ngezantsi zichazwe zifutshane-bona ukuba kukho nayiphi na into enyanisekileyo kumntu wakho othandekayo.
- Ukuphazamiseka Kwentlungu : Abantu abanokuphazamiseka kwesoyiko bangabonwa ngokukhawuleza kunye neentlanzi eziphazamisayo ezibonakala zivela ebomvu, kwaye zibandakanya iimpawu zenyama kunye nengqiqo ezinjengokuphefumula, iintliziyo zengqondo, kunye neemvakalelo ezizayo.
- I-Agoraphobia : I- Agoraphobia inokuthi ingenakufunyanwa kunye ne-panic disorder xa umhlobo wakho eyoyika ukuya ezindaweni ezithile ngenxa yokwesaba ukuhlaselwa kwesoyiko kwaye ukuphunyuka kunokuba nzima okanye akuncedi. Oku kunokubandakanya ukungakwazi ukushiya indlu.
- Ukukhathazeka ngokuqhelekileyo Inkxalabo : Abantu abanamava okukhathazeka ngokuqhelekileyo abanenkxalabo engapheliyo malunga neendawo ezahlukeneyo zobomi babo obangele ukuphazamisana nobudlelwane, umsebenzi kunye nabo bonke abakwenzayo.
- Ukukhathazeka Kwezenhlalakahle Zentlalo : Ukuba umntu obathandayo unenkinga yokuxhalabisa abantu , unokuyika uhlazo okanye agwetywe ngabanye. Olu loyiko luyakuthintela umhlobo wakho ukuba azinze ulwalamano lwentlalo, ufumane umsebenzi, aze enze phambi kwabanye.
- I-Phobia ecacileyo : Abantu abane- phobia ekhethekileyo bayesaba ngokungenangqiqo into ethile efana neziphakamileyo, iinaliti, okanye iinyoka. Uloyiko lugqithise kangangokuba luphazamisa ubomi bomntu.
Kwifomu yalo jikelele, uxhalabululo luyindlela yokusabela esichengeni. Ingxaki yokuxhalabisa ihluke kwixhala eliqhelekileyo elowo wonke umntu elivalayo kuba likhulu kwaye liphikelela, ukuze liphazamise iingcamango nezenzo zemihla ngemihla.
Ukuqaphela Ukugula Kwengqondo: Ukudandatheka
Ukuba unomhlobo okanye ilungu lentsapho elibonakala lusizi okanye lidandathekile, unganokuqiniseka ukuba iimpawu awayezifumanayo zinzima ngokwaneleyo ukuba aqinisekise ukuba uyaxilongwa.
Nangona wonke umntu eba lusizi ngezikhathi ngezihlandlo, ukukhathazeka kwemizwelo kubandakanya ukudabuka okuqhubekayo okanye ukungakwazi ukuzonwabisa okanye ukuzonwabisa ebomini. Ukuxilongwa koxinzelelo kuyenziwa xa loo mvakalelo ihambelana nexesha elingenani ubuncinane iiveki ezimbini kwaye ihamba kunye nezinye iimpawu zenyama, iingqondo kunye neemvakalelo.
Ezinye iimpawu zokudakumba ziquka iingxaki zokulala (kakhulu okanye ezincinci), utshintsho kwimikhuba yokutya (ukuzuza ubunzima okanye ukulahleka kwesisindo), ukucaphuka, ukukhathala, ukuxhalabisa, ukuvakalelwa, ukungabi nathemba okanye ukungazixabisi, kunye neengcinga zokuzibulala.
Ukuthetha Nomntu Othandekayo Ngokukhathazeka okanye Ukuxinezeleka
Enoba ufuna ukuthetha nomhlobo okanye ilungu lentsapho malunga neempawu zokuxhalaba okanye ukuxinezeleka, ezininzi iindlela ezifanayo ziya kusebenza. Ngezantsi yintetho yesampula onokuyenza kunye nomthandayo.
Inyathelo 1: Khetha ixesha kunye nendawo onokuhlala yedwa ukuthetha.
Umncedisi: Ungathanda ufike ngekhofi ngexesha elithile? Ndabona ukuba uye ngaphantsi koxinzelelo oluninzi kwaye ucinga ukuba kunokukunceda ukuba uthathe ixesha kwaye uthethe. Ndikhululekile ngoMgqibelo ekuseni xa oko kusebenza kuwe.
Zive ukhululekile ukulinganisa le meko ngokusekelwe kwindlela omaziyo ngayo loo mntu kunye nento eyenza ingqiqo enkulu ngokwemibutho yentlanganiso ukuthetha. Injongo apha kukudala ixesha kunye nendawo ongeke ukhawuleze ngayo, abayi kuziva ngathi abanye bayakuphulaphula, kwaye oko kukuvumela ukuba uziva ukhululekile.
Inyathelo 2: Sondela kwesihloko ngendlela elula.
Umncedisi: Ndabona ukuba ubonakala ungaphantsi koxinzelelo oluninzi kungekudala, okanye ungaziva ngathi. Ngaba kukho into ongathanda ukuthetha ngayo?
Apha, uya kufuna ukulungelelanisa oko uthetha kwimeko yomntu kunye neempawu zakhe ezithile. Sebenzisa ixesha lokuphulaphula kunokuba uthethe ukunika inkxaso yakho. Esikhundleni sokunika iingcebiso, umgomo wakho apha kukunika indawo evulekile ukuvumela omnye umntu ukuba ahlanganyele oko akuvakalelwayo.
Inokukunceda kule nkqubo ukusebenzisa imibuzo evulekile kunokuba iphendulwe ngokulula "ewe" okanye "hayi" ukuze ufumane omnye umntu athethe. Khumbula, abanye abantu banokuziva bengakhululekile ukuthetha ngendlela abazivakalelwa ngayo kwaye banokudandatheka. Zama ukuhlala uzinzile kungakhathaliseki ukuba izinto zihamba njani. Ukuba nje ukhona kwaye unika inkxaso yakho yinto enokuyenza okwangoku.
Ukuba omnye umntu unokwabelana ngempawu eziphazamisayo, zinikezela ukunceda loo mntu ngokwenza i-aphoyintimenti kunye neengcali zezempilo, ukuya nabo ekuqeshweni, okanye ukukhangela ukuze ubone indlela izinto ezihamba ngayo. Ingaba okanye ongeyena umhlobo wakho uvuma ukufuna uncedo, khuthaza imikhwa enganceda ukunciphisa iimpawu, ezifana nokutya ukutya okunempilo nokuzilolonga.
Khumbula ukuba akusiwo wonke umntu olungeleyo okanye ozimisele ukuvuma ukuba neengxaki. Abanye abantu basenokungabi nakwimeko yokuqonda ukuba oko bajamelana nokugula kwengqondo. Yenza okusemandleni akho ukukhuthaza loo mntu ukutyelela ugqirha, kwaye uqhubeke nokubonelela ngenkxaso ukwenza kube lula ukuba oko kwenzeke.
Ukuba, ngethuba lencoko kunye nomntu obathandayo, ubonisa naziphi na izibonakaliso zokubungozi ngokwabo okanye kwabanye, bambiza ugqirha wakhe, umgca wecala, okanye 911. Xa usongela ukuzibulala, zama ukuhamba umntu kuphela.
Ukulungiselela Ukuba nguMnakekeli
Emva kokuba uncede umntu wakho othandekayo uqwalasele ingxaki ngokuxinezeleka okanye ukuxhalabisa kwaye ungene unyango, unokufumana ukutshintshelwa inxaxheba yenkxaso. Olu hlobo lwenkxaso aluhambelani ngqo nokuxhatshazwa komntu okanye uxinzelelo-ngumsebenzi wonyango ofunyenweyo, nokuba ngaba yonyango lokuziphatha-CBT, unyango, ukudibanisa ezimbini, okanye enye ifom unyango.
Zizilungiselele kule nxaxheba, kuqala ngokufunda konke onakho malunga nokuxhalaba okanye ukuxinezeleka. Ukuba unemibono engalunganga malunga nalezi ngxaki, thatha ixesha lokucima. Ukuba uluhlobo oludlulileyo ukulindela abanye ukuba "bangene kulo" xa bejongene nemiba yempilo yengqondo, kuya kufuneka uguqule ukucinga kwakho.
Ngaba abanonophelo abanokukunceda njani
Kwindima yakho njengomnakekeli, kukho iindlela ezininzi onokunika inkxaso. Ngezantsi uludwe olufutshane lwemimandla yenkxaso enokuthi umntu onenkxalabo okanye uxinzelelo angadinga:
- Ulwakhiwo: Ncedisa wakho umthandayo ukuba avelise isimiso sokumvumela ukuba azive engaphezulu kwindlela yokulawula ubomi bakhe. Ukuphuhlisa isicwangciso somsebenzi kunye nemisebenzi ethile yomntu ukuba angene kwiveki nganye. Ngaba umntu ugcine umkhondo wezinto ezigqityiweyo kwaye ingaba zazisa uvuyo. Qinisekisa ukuba ukuzivocavoca rhoqo kuyingxenye yesicwangciso seveki, kunye nolunye uhlobo lokunciphisa uxinzelelo olufana nokuzicamngca okanye ukuphandlelwa kwezobugcisa.
- Ukumisela Injongo : Ncedisa umthandayo ukuba abeke iinjongo ngexesha lokubuyisela. Mkhuthaze ukuba aphinde abuyele ezi njongo rhoqo ukuba avume inkqubela phambili eyenziwa. Imizekelo ingabandakanya ukunikezela ngomsebenzi kumntu onenkxalabo yokuxhalaba kwentlalo, okanye usebenzise intsasa nganye ngomntu onenkxwaleko.
- Ukwakha izakhono: Kunokuba uvumele umntu wakho othandekayo ukuba axhomekeke kuwe ukuxhasa, ngokukhawuleza uqhubekele ekwakheni izakhono ukuze akwazi ukuzimela ozimele ngethuba elithile. Izakhono ezinokukunceda kule nkqubo zingabandakanya izakhono zentlalo kunye nezakhono zobomi ezisisiseko ezifana nokulawula imali okanye ukugcina indlu ecocekileyo. Ukuba ezi zizakhono onokuziva unako ukukunceda umhlobo wakho ukuba aphuhlise, cinga ukuzisa abanye abahlobo okanye abaqhelana nabo abanokwazi ukunika iingcebiso okanye inkxaso ukuze bakhe ezi zakhono.
- Ulawulo lweMithi: Abantu abanexhala okanye uxinzelelo bangathabatha imichiza yokunqoba impawu. Kukho imiba emininzi enxulumene namachiza anokubangela ukuphazamiseka ebomini babo, njengento yokujongana nemiphumo emibi, ukugcina ingqalelo yokusebenzisana kwamachiza, ukukhumbula ukuthatha amayeza njengoko kuchazwe, kunye nokulandela isincomo segqirha malunga nokuyeka. Nika inkxaso yakho ekulawuleni le micimbi kwaye uqinisekise ukuba umthandayo akayeki ngokukhawuleza ukuthatha nayiphi na imithi enqunyiwe.
Ukuthintela Ukubuyela KwiNkundla
Xa wakho othandekayo sele eqedile unyango, uza kufaka isigaba sokugcina apho ukulungiswa okanye ukulungiswa kwempahla kunokuphakanyiswa. Unokukunceda owamthandayo ngokuthetha ngeemeko ezinokubangela iingxaki okanye ukukhupha iimpawu ezindala ukuba zibuyele. Ngokomzekelo, umntu owake waphila ngengxaki yokukhathazeka ngokubanzi angaqaphela ukuba unomthwalo ogqithisileyo kakhulu obangela ukuba uxinzelelo kunye nokuxhalaba ngenxa yoko. Ngelixa kunokuba umlinge wakho umthandayo ukuba acinge ngonyango njengonyango-kunokwenzeka ukuba uya kuqhubeka ejamelene nemingcipheko kwaye kufuneka ahlale eqaphile xa kuziwa ekulawuleni ukuphindaphinda kweempawu zokuxhalabisa.
Ukuzibulala Ingozi
Ukongezelela ukubika nayiphi na ingozi esondeleyo, kukho amanyathelo onokuthatha njengomncedisi wokunciphisa umngcipheko wokuzibulala.
Ukuba umthandekayo wakho uxinezelekile, khuluma naye ngesicwangciso sokukhusela esingasetyenziselwa ngexesha loxinzelelo. Esi sicwangciso sinokubandakanya izinto ezifana nokubandakanya umsebenzi ophazamisayo okanye udibanisa nomhlobo, ilungu losapho okanye umqeqeshi wezempilo. Nangona usenokukhathazeka ukuba ukukhupha isihloko sokuzibulala kunokukhuthaza ukuba umhlobo wakho okanye intsapho ibone oko, akunjalo. Njalo thabatha nayiphi na into yokuzibulala ngokukodwa, kwaye unikele ngenkxaso yakho ngokufumana okungakumbi malunga nomntu othandayo.
Kwakhona, uqaphele izibonakaliso zengozi zokuzibulala, ezifana nokuhoxiswa kwabantu kunye nemisebenzi, imizamo yangaphambilini, amahlaya ngokuzibulala, ukuthetha ngokufa, ukunikela izinto okanye ukuziphatha okubi.
Kuthiwani Ngomncedisi?
Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba unomntu onenkxalabo okanye uxinzelelo, ungaqala ukuchitha ixesha elincinane ukuzinakekela-ungawa kulo mgibe.
Okokuqala, qaphela ukuba nguwe wedwa ongenalo igunya lokugcina umhlobo wakho. Umsebenzi wakho awuyikumnceda ekubuyiseni kwisifo sengqondo, kodwa kunoko ukuxhasa loo mntu ngexesha le nkqubo. Musa ukuzithatha kakhulu, kwaye ungaziva unetyala xa kwenzeka ukuphindaphinda.
Okwesibini, xelela owathandekayo into oyifunayo. Ukunyamekela umntu onenkxalabo okanye uxinzelelo ngumsebenzi omkhulu-qaphela oko. Unokufumana uluhlu lweemvakalelo ezibandakanya umsindo kunye nentukuthelo. Ukuba uziva uhlaselwa, tshela wakho umthandayo ukuba ufuna ixesha lokuba wenze izinto ozithandayo. Ngethuba ngelixa uvakalelwa kukuba ulahliwe, kungcono ukuzinyamekela ukuze ubuye ubuye uhlaziye, kunokugqitywa ngokupheleleyo kwaye ungabi ncedi kunoma ubani.
Ekugqibeleni, cinga ukujoyina iqela lokuxhasa abanonophelo balabo abanexhala okanye uxinzelelo. Uya kudibana nabanye abantu abahamba ngeemeko ezifanayo abanokukwazi ukunikela ngcebiso okanye nje indlebe ekuphulaphule.
ILizwi
Into enye umnakekeli akayiyo inceda. Musa ukufihla umntu onenkxwaleko ngokuthatha umsebenzi wakhe okanye ukwenza izizathu zokungaphumeleli kwabo ukugqiba imisebenzi. Musa ukunceda umntu onxinekile ukuphepha iimeko, okanye uthathe imisebenzi abaziva bengenakuyenza.
Ekugqibeleni, ukuba unomntu othandayo osikrokrayo okanye uxinezelekile, ungalindeli ukuba imeko ibe ngcono. Kuphela kwonyango olufanelekileyo kunye nenkxaso yomnakekeli onjengewe ngokwakho ukuba imeko iya kuphucula.
> Imithombo:
> UMbutho weengxaki zokukhathazeka zeVictoria. Indlela Yokujongana Nokunceda Umntu Othandayo Ukufumana Ukuxhalabisa Nokuxinezeleka.
> Beyond Blue. Ukuxhasa umntu onenkxalabo okanye uxinzelelo.
> Isizwe seSizwe seMpilo yengqondo. Inkxalabo enkulu phakathi kwabantu abadala.
> Isizwe seSizwe seMpilo yengqondo. Naluphi na ukukhathazeka kwezixhala phakathi kwabantu abadala.