Yiyiphi Amazwi Anganceda Umhlobo Wakho Ukunyamezela Ukuxinezeleka?
Ngaba uyayazi umntu ocinezelekile, kodwa awuqinisekanga ukuba ungathini ukukunceda? Ngexesha loko unokuziva ukhululekile kwaye ungaqinisekanga ekuqaleni. akukho nto iphosakeleyo enokuyenza xa nje bevela kwindawo yenceba kunye nokwamkelwa. Ezi zivakalisi ezilishumi, nangona kunjalo, ziya kukunika ingcamango engcono yinto enokuba luncedo kumhlobo wakho ukuva.
Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba-nangona unobungozi uthi "into engalunganga" -kusoloko kulungele ukuthetha into kunokuhlala ucebile kwaye ungathethi nto nhlobo. Abantu abaninzi abanokuxinezeleka kliniki bashiywe bodwa-inkqubo eyenza ixinzezeleke-kuba abahlobo bakhetha ukungatsho nto (ngamanye amazwi bawaphephe.). Ukuba awukwazi nje into oyithethayo, ngokunyanisekileyo kuyona mgaqo-nkqubo ongcono. Xelela umhlobo wakho ukuba awukwazi ukuba ungathini-kodwa ukuba uya kuba khona kuye.
1 - Ndiyakhathalela
La magama amabini alula- "ndiyakhathalela" -okungathethi kakhulu kumntu onokuvakalelwa ngathi ihlabathi lonke lichasene naye. Kodwa, akudingeki uthethe elinye igama ukuze ufumane umyalezo wakho. Ingqungquthela okanye ukuthinteka kwesandla sinokuthetha ngokubanzi malunga noko uvakalelwa. Into ebalulekileyo kukuba ufikelele kuye kwaye umxelele ukuba ubalulekile kuwe.
Khumbula ukubonisa unonophelo kwizenzo zakho kwaye kungekhona nje amazwi akho. Izenzo-njengoko i-adage endala ithi-khulisa kakhulu kunamazwi. Enyanisweni, amazwi angenazo izenzo angonakalisa ngaphezu kokuba amagama awazange athethe.
2 - Ndilapha
Ukuxinezeleka kukuba namava kakhulu. Unokuvakalelwa ngathi akukho mntu uyayiqonda into ovakalelwa ngayo okanye enokukhathalela ngokwaneleyo ukuqala ukuqonda. Xa ufikelela kumhlobo kwaye umxelele ukuba uza kuba khona kuye yonke inyathelo yendlela eya kuba yomeleza kakhulu.
La magama amane, eneneni, mhlawumbi amagama abaluleke kakhulu ongayathetha kumhlobo wakho. Kodwa njengokuba uthetha ukuba uyanyamekela, qiniseka ukuba izenzo zakho zivuselela amagama akho hleze ushiye umhlobo wakho evakalelwa yedwa.
3 - Ngaba Ndikho Nento Enokuyenza Ngokunceda?
Ukudakumba kukubeka ubunzima obukhulu kumntu onalo, kokubili ngokwenyama nangengqondo, ngoko mhlawumbi uninzi izinto ongayenza ukuze unciphise umthwalo njengoko umhlobo wakho efumana.
Nceda uqaphele noko kunjalo, unokusenqwenela ukumkela isipho sakho ngenxa yokwesaba ukuba ngumthwalo kuwe. Ngoko, cacisa ukuba awuyiqondi nhlobo. Ubahlobo kwaye uyazi ukuba uya kwenza okufanayo kuwe kwiimeko ezifanayo.
Kwakhona ufanele uqaphele ukuba unokuziva ehlaselwe kwaye edinwe ngenxa yokudandatheka kwakhe ukuba akazi kakuhle oko angayimfuneko. Yilungiselelwe ngamanye amacebiso athile, xa kunjalo. Umzekelo, unokubuza:
- Ngaba unokusebenzisa uncedo oluthile ngemisebenzi yasendlini okanye kwivenkile yokuthenga?
- Ngaba ungathanda enye inkampani ngokukhawuleza?
- Ngaba ungathanda ukuba ndikuqhube kumagosa oqeshwe ngugqirha?
Kwakhona, unikeze uncedo oluthile malunga nexesha kunye nomsebenzi ukuba kunokwenzeka. Ngokomzekelo, endaweni yokuthi "Ngaba kukho nto endinokuyenza?" mhlawumbi ubuze endaweni yoko, "Ngaba ndingayi kufika ngoMgqibelo kusasa ndikuhlambele iifestile." Qaphela ukuba ukusebenzisa iifestile njengomzekelo akubanga yengozi. Ukuzisa ukukhanya okukhawuleza kwigumbi lomhlobo wakho kungeze kummxelela ukuba uyamkhathalela, kodwa unokongeza ukukhanya okubonakalayo kwilizwe lakhe.
4 - Ngaba Ufuna Omnye Othetha Naye?
Ngamanye amaxesha into ebaluleke kakhulu ongayenza kumhlobo odandathekileyo kukuba uphulaphule xa ekhuluma ngento ephazamisayo, evumela ukuba akhululwe ingcinezelo yazo zonke iimvakalelo zakhe. Ukukhululeka kwesi scinezelo kunokwanela ukunciphisa intlungu kwaye umvumele ukuba aqhubekele kude unyango lubambe kwaye lulungise i-chemistry yakhe.
Qinisekisa ukuphulaphula ngaphandle kokuphazamisa nangona kunzima kakhulu. Sonke sinqwenela ukulungisa izinto kubahlobo bethu, kwaye kaninzi sinika izilungiso ngokukhawuleza ukujamelana nentlungu yethu yokungenakunceda. Sekuninzi kakhulu abahlobo bethu abadandathekile nje bafuna ukuthetha ngaphandle kokuba sithathe ingxoxo kunye 'neengcebiso zethu.'
5 - Ngaba Uxelele Ugqirha Wakho Indlela Ovakalelwa Ngayo?
Ukunyangwa koxinzelelo kuyingxenye ebaluleke kakhulu yokubuyisela kwixinzelelo, kodwa abantu bahlala behlazeka ngenxa yeemeko zabo okanye bangathembeki malunga nokuba unyango luya kubanceda ngokwenene. Ukuba wakho umhlobo engaboni ugqirha, mkhuthaze ukuba afune uncedo aze amqinisekise ukuba akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokucela uncedo. Ukudandatheka kukugula kwaye kugula kakhulu. Ukuba sele sele ebona ugqirha, vumela ukumnceda ekuhambeni nemichiza kunye nokuqeshwa kuze kube yilapho eva kakuhle.
6 - Ubomi Bakho Benza Umehluko kum
Uvakalelo olufanayo phakathi kwabo baxinezelekileyo kukuba ubomi babo abukhathazeki, ukuba akukho mntu unokunyamekela ukuba ahambe. Ukuba unokutsho ngokunyanisekileyo umhlobo wakho ngazo zonke iindlela azibaluleke ngayo kuwe nakwabanye abazungezile oku kunokumnceda ukuba aqaphele ukuba unokuxabisa kwaye unelungelo njengomntu.
7 - Ndiyayiqonda (Ukuba Ngokwenene Uyenzayo)
Ngaphambi kokuba utshele umntu ukuba uyaqonda, kufuneka uqiniseke ukuba uyayenza. Ngaba wakha wabuhlungu ukuxinezeleka ? Ukuba unako, kunokuba luncedo kumhlobo wakho ukuba aqaphele ukuba uye waziva oko uvakalelwa ngoku kwaye wakwazi ukuphucula. Gcina ukhumbule ukuba kukho iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zokudakumba , kwaye nangona unamava okudakumba, mhlawumbi yayihluke kakhulu kubahlobo bakho.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba yintoni oye waba nayo yinto elula nje ye-blues eyadlula ixesha elifutshane nje, unokuziva ukuba uyayenza into enokuyenza ngokuzifanisa nayo. Kule meko, kuya kuba ngcono ukuvuma ukuba awuqondi into ayenzayo, kodwa uyamkhathalela kwaye ufuna ukuzama. Funda kabanzi malunga nokwahlukana phakathi kwamablues kunye nokudandatheka klinikhi .
Ngokuqhelekileyo, amagama asemnandi athi, "Andiyiqondi, kodwa ndifuna ngokwenene."
8 - Kukulungele ukuvakalelwa ngale ndlela
Nangona iingxaki zomngane wakho zibonakala zingancinci kuwe, xhathisa umgudu wokugweba okanye ukuza nezicwangciso ezilula. Ukungalingani kwezinto eziphilayo ezinxulumene nokudakumba kukuba yiyiphi indlela eqhuba kakubi ngayo imeko, kungekhona imeko ngokwayo. Kunoko, mazise ukuba uyaxolisa ukuba uvakalelwa kakubi kwaye ufumana isimo sengqondo sokwamkela ukuba le ndlela ukuxinezeleka kwakhe kuyichaphazela ngayo.
Ukuba wakho umhlobo wayesanda kuqalwa kwiyeza okanye ukucebisa, kunokuthatha ixesha. Kanye nje ngokuba i-antibiotic ye-strep throat ithatha ixesha lokuba isebenze, i- anti-depressants ingathatha ixesha lokutshintsha iikhemikhali kwingqondo yomhlobo wakho. Ngokungafani namayeza anokuthi athathe iiyure ezingama-25 okanye njalo, izidandathelwano zingathatha iiveki ezintandathu ukuya kweebhozo okanye ngaphezulu ukukhaba kuyo. Ingongoma kukuba nje ngomntu onomsila we-strep komso uya kuba neentlungu zomqala emva kokuba athathe i-antibiotics, umntu onokudakumba zibonakala zixinezelekile kwiiveki ezimbalwa emva kokuqala unyango. Ngethuba le nto into ayifunayo kakhulu ayikho impawu zokulungiswa ngokukhawuleza okungenakukunceda, kodwa ukuqaphela ukuba uya kuba ngecala kuye unyango lusebenza.
9 - Awunamandla okanye awunamandla
Ngokudandatheka, kukho ukuthanda ukuziva ngathi sinamandla okanye kukho into engalunganga kuthi. Ukudandatheka kungabangela ukugula kwabanye, kodwa sivakalelwa kukuba ngumntu ongafaniyo. Qinisekisa umhlobo wakho ukuba ukudandatheka kukubangela ukugula okubangelwa ukungalingani kwezinto eziphilayo ezinengqondo . Akuthethi ukuba ubuthathaka. Enyanisweni, kuthatha amandla amaninzi ukulwa emva koko unamandla kunomntu ophakathi.
10 - Kukho ithemba
Nangona uqinisekisa umhlobo wakho ukuba unesifo sangempela, unokumqinisekisa ukuba kukho ithemba, kuba, njengaye naziphi ezinye izifo zonyango, ukuxinezeleka kuyaphathwa. Ngokusetyenziswa kwamachiza kunye neyeza, unethuba elihle kakhulu lokubuyela kwakhona ngokuqhelekileyo.
Ukunceda umhlobo wakho udlule ngaphaya kwamazwi othethayo. Hlola ezi ngcamango ezingaphezulu malunga nendlela yokunceda umhlobo onenkxwaleko .
11 - Yazi iimpawu kunye nezibonakaliso zokuzibulala
Ekugqibeleni, umngcipheko wokuzibulala uphezulu kakhulu kulabo babandezelekileyo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba uthini na okanye wenzani ukunceda umhlobo wakho, usenokuba namava kunye nezivakalelo zokuzibulala.
Qinisekisa ukuba ufunde kwiimpawu zokulumkisa zokuzibulala , zombini ulwalamano lwakho nomhlobo wakho, kunye nabanye onokuhlangabezana nabo kwikamva.
12 - Kuthiwani Ukuba Ndithetha Ezi zinto kwaye Usenokuba Nomsindo?
Kungenzeka ukuba unako ukuthetha zonke izinto "ezilungileyo" kunye nomhlobo wakho uya kugxeka nawe. Ngoba? Ngenxa yokuba umntu ngamnye ngumntu kunye neengcamango zakhe kunye neemvakalelo zakhe. Kwaye, ukucaphuka nokucaphukisa isifo sesifo. Ngamanye amaxesha abantu baya kutshabalalisa abo bazama ukubanceda ngenxa yokuba bayalimaza kwaye abazi nje ukuba baqondise phi loo mvakalelo emibi, ngoko ke, nabani na osondelene baba yinto efanelekileyo. Ukuba oku kwenzekayo nomhlobo wakho, ungayithathi. Hlalani nizolile kwaye niqhubeke nenza konke okusemandleni okumthanda nokumxhasa nayiphi na indlela eya kuyenza.
Imithombo:
Gariepy, G., Honkaniemi, H., noA. Quesnel-Vallee. Inkxaso yeNtlalo kunye noKhuselo oluvela kwiNkcitho yokuPhukisa: UkuHlola ngokuHlolo kweeNkcazo ezikhoyo kwiiNtshona Koloni IBritish Journal of Psychiatry . 209 (4): 284-293.