Ukuqonda ihlazo kunokubaluleka kwimpilo yakho
Ihlazi livakalelo elinamandla elinokubangela ukuba abantu bazive bephosakele, bengamkelekanga, baze babonakaliswe ngaphandle kokulungiswa.
Ukwazi kangakanani ngehlazo? Ngamanye amaxesha ungase udibanise unamahloni, unxulumene nolunye uvakalelo.
- Xa uziva uhlazo, uvakalelwa kukuba ukuziphatha kwakho konke kulungile .
- Xa uziva unetyala, wenza isigwebo sokuba into oyenzile ayilunganga.
Xa uziva unetyala malunga nento ephosakeleyo oyenzayo, ungathatha amanyathelo okwenzela yona uze uyibeke emva kwakho. Kodwa uvakalelo luqinisekile ukuba nguyena into ephosakeleyo yokunikezela ngekho ndlela ecacileyo yokubuyela "ukubuyela" ukuziva uncomekile ngokwakho.
Ukwahlukana omnye phakathi kokuhlazeka kunye netyala: indlela echazwe ngayo. Kodwa umphumo wehlazo, kunye nokuziphatha okungabangela, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ukwazi.
Ihlazo lenze ntoni
Ukususela ngomhla owazalwa ngawo ufunda ukuziva ukuba ulungile okanye awufanelekanga, wamkeleka okanye akamkelekanga, kwilizwe lakho. Ukuzithemba kwakho kwakumelwe ngamava akho asemini ekudumiseni okanye ekugxeka, ngokulungiswa ngothando okanye ohlwayekileyo, onyamekele okanye onyunyanwe.
Abantu abakhulayo kwimimandla ehlambalazayo banokufumana kalula umyalezo ukuba abafanelekanga, abangenako, nabangaphantsi. Ngamanye amazwi, ukuba babe neentloni.
Ngokuhamba kwexesha, iimvakalelo ezinzulu zokuzihlazisa zinokubamba ukuzithiba komntu kwaye zizenzele ukuzithemba.
Iimvakalelo zentloni zisoloko zivela kwezinye izinto abantu abacinga ngazo. Umntu unokuba ngumntu ovelele kwizinto ezivakalelwa ukugxekwa, nokuba akunjalo, kwaye unokuvakalelwa ngabanye. Ngaphakathi, uziva ehlazola kwaye engento.
Ubu bungqina banda ukuba iingxaki ezinzulu ziyakwenzeka xa ihlazo lithatha ngokugqithiseleyo ukuba lube ngumntu kwaye luzibonele.
Iimiphumo zehlazo, ngokukodwa kubantu abano-BPD
Omnye oziva ehlazileyo-ehlaziyekileyo kunye nokuzithemba okungekho nto angayiqondi ukuba iyisishukumiso seendlela ezininzi zokuziphatha kakubi, ezinokubandakanya ukusetyenziswa kakubi kwezidakamizwa, ukuphazamiseka kokutya, ukuthukuthela komgwaqo, ubundlobongela basekhaya, kunye nezinye iintlungu zomntu kunye nentlalo.
Abantu abafumana iziganeko ezibuhlungu nabo banokuziva bazihlazole, ngakumbi xa bebetyala ngokwenzekayo. Kubantu abane- b orderline border disorder (BPD) , ihlazo elihlazileyo lingabangela i-akhawunti, ngokwengxenye, kwizinga eliphezulu eliphezulu lokuzibulala nokuzilimaza .
Ihlazo lichaphazela abantu ngokuhlukileyo kubafazi. Kuthiwa abantu abaneentlonelo ezisekelwe phantsi behlazo bathambekele ekusebenziseni, ngenxa yomsindo kunye nokuziphatha kakubi kwabanye, kunye nabasetyhini ukuba "benze" ngokuguqula iimvakalelo zabo ngaphakathi baze bazizondele.
Yintoni Endifanele Ndiyazi?
Abaphandi abafundayo indima ye-biology ekuphuhlisweni kweentlonelo ezisekelwe phantsi ngokuzihlazo bajolise ngenye ingqalelo kwi- serotonin , i-neurotransmitter (i-chemical messenger) engqondweni. Bahlolisisa ukuba amanqanaba aphantsi ase-serotonin anokubangela ukuba umntu azalwe ngumntwana ukuba abe neentloni.
Imithombo:
I-VanScoy H. Ihlazo: Iimvakalelo ezithintekayo. http://psychcentral.com/lib/shame-the-quintessential-emotion/.
UDavid F. Ulawulo lweentloni ekuphuculeni ikhwalithi. Ihlazo: Indlovu egumbini. Ukunakekelwa kwezempilo kweQual Saf . 2002; 11: 2-3.