Ukuba unjengabantu abaninzi, uye waba namava okukhathazeka ngento ethile engxakini eyenzekayo ngosuku lwakho. Kungenzeka into into ethi umntu uthi ukukubetha emathunjini, mhlawumbi bekuye imeko apho ufuna ukuba uphelele ngokugqibeleleyo, okanye mhlawumbi ingaba yingxaki ephindaphindiweyo engqondweni yakho ngaphandle kwesixazululo esamkelekileyo emehlweni .
Kutheni ngamanye amaxesha sivumela izinto zisikhathaze ixesha elide emva kokuba zenzeke, kwaye kutheni kunzima ukuyeka umjikelezo wokuxininisa, ukucinga, nokugxininisa malunga nokugqithisa? Kwaye sinokufunda njani ukunqumla umjikelezo ongenangqondo, okanye ukuwuphelisa ngokupheleleyo xa siqonda ukuba senzayo?
Le nto iyaziwa ngokuba yi-rumination, kwaye yinto ebalulekileyo yongcinezelo kubantu abaninzi. Ukuhluma kuqala ngokungenasiphelo -iyo ingqondo yakho yokuzama ukwenza ingqiqo kwaye iqhubekele kwiimeko eziphazamisayo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuhluthwa kunokukubamba kwisetyhula, ukuzenzekela ngokuzenzekelayo nokuxinezeleka. Xa uhlangabezana neengxabano ezingapheliyo ubudlelwane bakho, unokufumana uxinzelelo olungapheliyo ukusuka ekugqibeleni okukhulu. Kubalulekile ukufumana iindlela zokubamba ukuhlanjululwa ngaphambi kokuba ubanjwe kuyo kwaye usebenze ekusingathelaniseni iingxabano ngendlela ephilileyo.
Kutheni abantu bexhalabile ngezinto?
Kubonakala ngathi abantu abahlukeneyo baxhalabele ngezinto ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukileyo, kwaye abanye abantu banamathele ngakumbi kunabanye. Abanye abantu bafuna ukuqonda imeko, kodwa abakwazi ukuyiqonda okanye bayayamkela, ngoko baqhubeka beyibuyisela kwakhona. Abanye abantu bafuna ukuqinisekiswa ukuba bachanekile (ngakumbi xa bevakalelwa kwinqanaba elingenalwazi lokuba baphosakele).
Abanye abantu bazama ukucombulula ingxaki okanye ukuthintela izinto ezifanayo ukuba zenzeke kwixesha elizayo, kodwa azikwazi ukuqonda indlela. Kwaye abanye banokufuna ukuziva bevakala kwaye baqinisekisiweyo, okanye bafuna ukuziva bafanelekile ukuba bazibophezele ngokwabo 'ngokudlala ixhoba,' kwaye bazifumanisa ngokuphindaphinda amabali abo. Ekugqibeleni, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba kutheni abantu bexhalabele ngezinto, kwaye banokuthi bayeke ngakumbi.
Nazi iimbono ezimbalwa malunga nendlela yokuzibamba kwaye uphinde uqhubeke:
- Umda wexesha
Kunokuba luncedo ukufumana inkxaso kunye nokuqinisekiswa kubahlobo bakho, kodwa ingxoxo enkulu yezinto ezingalunganga eziqhutywe ngabanye ingakhokelela ekusebenziseni ubudlelwane bakho obubi kunye nokunyaniseka kwaye kukhokelela ngakumbi ukuqinisa ukukhungatheka kwimeko kunokufumana izicwangciso nokuvalwa . Ukuba ufuna inkxaso evela kubahlobo, unokuzibeka ngasese umda wexesha elithile ukuba uzakuvumela ukuba uzinikezele ukuthetha ngongxaki kunye neemvakalelo zakho malunga nayo, ngaphambi kokugxila kwisisombululo. Emva koko cinga izixazululo nomhlobo wakho, okanye ngokwakho kwincwadi . - Vula ingqondo
Kuphakanyisiwe ngaphezu kweengcali ezimbalwa ukuba oko kusithintela kwabanye kubungabonakalisa nje into esiyithandiyo. Xa ucinga ngento eyenziwa ngumnye umntu ukukwenza ube nomsindo, unako ukuzama ukudweba ngamava afana nawe ukuba uncede ukuqonda kakuhle indlela abajonga ngayo kunye nezizathu zento abayenzayo? Nangona ukuba awuvumelani nabo, ngaba unokuba novelwano? Ukucamngca inceba kunokuyinto efanelekileyo apha ukuxolela nokuvumela ukuba uyeke kwaye ibe ngumlo omkhulu wokuhlambalaza.
- Setha imida
Khumbula ibinzana elimangalisayo "ixesha lokuqala, uhlazo kuwe; okwesibini, uhlazo kum." Ichaza ngokucacileyo uxanduva kunye nokubaluleka kokubeka imida , kwaye ukuba akukho nto ikuvumela ukuba usebenzise ukuhlangana nganye ukufunda okuthile ngawe kunye nomnye umntu ukuze utshintshe indlela izinto ezihamba ngayo kwikamva. Khangela oko kwenzekayo kunye neliso lokutshintsha - ungagxeki omnye umntu ngenxa yokukulimaza, kodwa ukuza neziphakamiso eziya kuthintela imeko efanayo ukuba ingabikho kabini. Unokuthi ungaphi na ngaphambili, okanye uzikhusele ngakumbi kwikamva? Esikhundleni sokuhlala sibuhlungu okanye sithukuthele, sivela kwindawo yamandla nokuqonda.
Kungathatha isenzo, kodwa unokutshintsha indlela ocinga ngayo, ungasayi kukhangela izinto, kwaye unamava angaphantsi kwengqondo ngenxa yoko.