Izinkolelo eziphosakeleyo kunye neengxaki zeNkathazo
Ukunyangwa kwengqondo kuncike kwingcamango yokuba iingcamango neemfundiso ezimbi zichaphazela indlela umntu azivakalelwa ngayo. Njengahlobo lwe-psychotherapy, unyango lwe-cognitive lusebenza ekuncedeni ukutshintsha inkqubo yenkolelo yendlela njengendlela yokudala iingcamango ezingqinisisekanga. Ngokweengcamango zonyango oluyicatshulwayo, iinkolelo ezithinteleyo ziba negalelo elikhulu ekukhathazeni imizwelo kunye nokuxhalabisa, kuquka ukudandatheka nokuphazamiseka kwengxaki.
Izinkolelo zokuzikhusela ziwela kwelinye lamacandelo amabini: umntu okanye umntu. Izinkolelo ezizimeleyo ezizimeleyo ziquka indlela esilinganisela ngayo ixabiso lethu. Ezi ntlobo zeenkolelo ziquka iinkalo zokuphelelisa kunye nesidingo sokuphumelela nokuvunywa. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, zikholelwa kwiinkolelo zethu zokulwa kunye nabanye. Ezi zibandakanya iingcamango zethu malunga nendlela ukuxhamla kwethu intlalo kufuneka sibe ngayo, njengokuba sikholelwa ukuba abanye kufuneka basiphathe.
Ukuba neengxaki zesifo kunokuchaphazela kakhulu ubudlelwane bethu. Iinkolelo zokuzikhusela ngokuphathelele ukudibana kwethu nabanye zingongeza kwi ngxaki. Ezi zilandelayo zichaza iinkolelo ezizimeleyo eziqhelekileyo phakathi kwalabo abaneengxaki zokuphazamiseka, ukuhlaselwa kweentlanzi kunye ne-agoraphobia. Qaphela ukuba uyayibona inkqubo yakho yenkolelo kwiyiphi na le nkolelo ephosakeleyo kwaye ufunde iindlela zokudlulela.
Iphulo
Abantu abaneengxaki zokuphazamiseka baxhomekeke ekucingeni okubi , okudla ngokuquka uhlobo oluthile lokuzimela. Ngokomzekelo, usenokuzibeka isohlwayo ngenxa yeempawu zakho zokutya , ucinga ukuba ukuba uyazilawula ngokwakho, ngoko awuyi kuba nzima ukuhlaselwa nokuxhalaba nokukhathazeka.
Izinkolelo zokuzikhusela ngokuchasene nazo zinokuchaphazela ulwalamano lwethu nabanye.
Ngokomzekelo, mhlawumbi ufumana ingxabano nomnye umntu. Ngaba uyakhawuleza ukubeka ityala ngenxa yokungafani okanye unako ukubona indlela enokuba negalelo ngayo ukungavumelani?
Uninzi lwalamano lujamelana nokuxabana, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha, abanye abantu baya kusivumela. Nangona kunjalo, iingxaki zolwalamano zibandakanya zombini amaqela. Cinga ngobudlelwane bakho kwaye wenze isigqibo sokuba uxela abanye xa uxhulumaniso lwakho alukho into ofuna ukuba babe nayo. Qinisekisa ukuyeka ukukholelwa kwenkohlakalo kwaye uqale ukuqonda indima yakho kunye noxanduva lwakho kulwalamano. I-blame iya kukudonsa phantsi kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo iphumelele 'ukuphelisa nayiphi na ingxaki ongaba nayo nabanye.
Ukuzithobela kwabanye
Ukuzithoba ngokugqithisileyo kunokusuka kwiinkolelo eziphosakeleyo ukuba kufuneka ungenise kwabanye ukuze uthande. Xa uwela kule nkolelo yokuzikhusela, uhlala ubeka abanye 'ifuna' kwaye ufune phambi kwakho. Ngelixa unokuba ujongene nokuba luncedo kwabanye, ukuziphatha ngokuzithoba kukuthetha ukuba uhlala uvumela abanye ukuba balindele, kodwa uziva ungonwabanga njengoko ukufunayo kwakho kungabhekiswa.
Ukuthobela kungabandakanya ukwesaba ukuba yedwa.
Abantu abaninzi abanenkinga yokuphazamiseka kunye ne- agoraphobia baxhomekeke ekubeni banesizungu kwaye bahlukane. Ngokomzekelo, unokuphepha ukusebenzisana kwentlalo ngenxa yokukhathazeka ngendlela abanye abaya kuyenza ngayo xa beyazi malunga nemeko yakho. Nangona kunjalo, kubalulekile ukugcina engqondweni ukuba nangona kukho iimpawu zakho, ungumntu ofanelekileyo. Ufanelwe ubuhlobo kunye nothando ngaphandle kokuba uhlale uthobela abanye.
Ukwesaba Ukungquzulana
Abantu abaninzi abayithandi impikiswano kuba kunokuvelisa ezininzi iimvakalelo ezingenakukhathazeka. Kuyinyaniso ukuba ukungqubuzana phakathi kwethu nobudlelwane kunokubangela ukuvakalelwa komsindo, ukukhathazeka kunye noyiko.
Nangona kunjalo, oku kungaba yinkolelo yokuzikhusela xa kukho ukungquzulwano ngenxa yokwesaba ukulahlwa kwabanye. Ukukhusela ingxabano kungekudala kungakhokelela kuyo nayiphina isisombululo. Inokubangela ukuba negalelo kwiimvakalelo ezongezelelweyo zokuxinezeleka kunye nokuxhalabisa. Ukukhuselwa ngongxabano kungaba sisisombululo esheshayo, kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha, kunokusenza izinto zibe zibi nakakhulu.
Ukunqoba izikholo ezizimeleyo zokuzikhusela
Ukuze unqobe ukucinga okungahambiyo kunye neenkolelo zokuzikhusela, kufuneka uqaphele xa zivela ebomini bakho. Qala uqaphele ukuba unayo iinkolelo zokuzikhusela ezikukhusela ukuba ube nolwalamano oluhle. Zibuze ukuba uhlala usola abanye, ukuthobela abanye, okanye ukuphepha ingxabano kuzo zonke iindleko.
Ngokuziqonda iinkolelo zakho zokuzikhusela, ungaqala ukwenza utshintsho kwinkqubo yakho yenkolelo. Ngokomzekelo, endaweni yokumangalela omnye umntu, zama ukuqwalasela indima oyidlala ngayo ubudlelwane. Yeka ukuzibingelela ukuba ungubani ukuze wenze abanye bavuyiswe kwaye unokumangaliswa yindlela engcono ngayo. Ukungquzulana akufuneki kuthetha ukuhlambalaza okanye iingxabano. Esikhundleni sokungcwaba intloko yakho entlabathi, ubambene neengqibelelo, ukukhula, kunye nentlonipho.
Yenza umkhwa wokubuza imibuzo uze uphinde ucinge ngeengcamango zakho ezingekhoyo. Ngokuqhubeka ulungiselela iinkolelo zakho zokuzikhusela, unokutshintsha izimvo zakho kwizinto ezintle kwaye ezinokwenene. Ngokuhamba kwexesha, unokufumanisa ukuba awusekho kwiintembelelo zokuzibulala kwaye unqobe ukucinga kwakho okubi .
Umthombo:
Burns, DD (2006). Xa uhlaselwa yintlanzi: Ulwaphulo olutsha olungenazo iziyobisi olungatshintsha ubomi bakho. NY: Broadway Books.