Umonakalo wokuba nomzali onxilisayo unokuba ngumntu omdala.
Enye into engafanelekanga yokuba abaninzi abanxilisayo kubonakala ukuba ukusela kwabo akuchaphazeli mntu. Kodwa ukuziphatha kwabo kudla ngokuchaphazela abanye, kwaye abantwana bezonxila bavame ukuba ngabasengozini. Enyanisweni, iziphumo zokusela utywala kubantwana ngamanye amaxesha zinzulu kangangokuthi zihlala ixesha lokuphila.
Iimiphumo zoButywala zabazali
Ukubonakalisa indlela ukusetyenziswa kotywala okunobungozi kwabazali kubantwana, cinga ukuba ezininzi zeempawu ezichazwe ngabantwana abadala basezidakamizwa ziphakathi kwalawo anikwe ingxelo ngabantwana ababesetyenziswe ngokomzimba okanye baxhatshazwa ngokwesondo ngumzali.
Ezinye izimo apho ezi ziphumo zibikwe ziquka abantwana abaye bamkelwa okanye bahlala emakhaya asekhaya, abantwana kunye nabazali ababonise ukuziphatha okunyanzelisayo njengokugembula okanye ukutya ngokutya, abantwana abanomzali onesifo esingapheliyo, kunye nabantwana abakhuliswa ngokugqithiseleyo abazali abanonqulo oluqinileyo.
Umfanekiso omkhulu apha ukuba wena okanye othandekayo unenkinga yokusela kwaye unabantwana, banokuchaphazeleka kwaye umgangatho wobomi unokuba nefuthe xa usukhulile. Nayi imimiselo yendlela utywala obunokuchaphazela ngayo abantwana bakho.
Iimfuneko zokuqagela ukuba yiyiphi into eqhelekileyo
Ngenxa yokuba babengenayo umzekelo wokulandela ukusuka ebuntwaneni babo kwaye abazange babe nolwalamano olusisiseko "oluqhelekileyo," abantwana basebekhulile abanxilisayo kufuneka baqikelele ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuqhelekileyo . Ngaloo nto, ngamanye amaxesha abakwazi ukwahlula imilinganiselo emihle kwizinto ezimbi. Kwakhona, abanye abantwana bakhula bengakhange bahlalisane kunye neentsapho kuba abaqinisekanga ukuba benze njani okanye bathetha ntoni.
Ukongezelela, abantwana bomzali onxilisayo banokuzifumana becinga ukuba bahluke kwabanye abantu kwaye abafanelekanga. Ngenxa yoko, bayakuphepha iimeko zentlalo kwaye banzima ukufumana abahlobo. Basenokuzihlukanisa ngenxa yoko.
Zigwebe Ngaphandle Kobubele
Abanye abantwana abadala abanxilisayo bakuthola kunzima ukuziphazamisa. Abaziva banelisekile kwaye banomuvo wokuthi awunakulungele. Basenokungabi nantoni kwaye banokuzithemba kwaye bangahlakulela iimvakalelo ezinzulu zokungafaneleki.
Zizithathele kakhulu
Abanye abantwana abadala abanxilisayo bazithabathela kakhulu kwaye banokuba ngabagxeki babo. Emva kwexesha, oku kungakhokelela ekukhathazeni nasekudakaleni. Ngokomzekelo, uphawu olunye ungayibona kukuba kunokuba lunzima kumntu okhulile nomzali onxilisayo ukuba avuselele intlanganiso yoluntu. Mhlawumbi oku kubangelwa ukuba babone iholide ezininzi, ikhefu kunye nezinye iintlobo zeentsapho ezixhatshazwe ngumzali onxilisayo.
Unobunzima nobudlelwane obusondeleyo
Ukuze ube nolwalamano olusondeleyo, umntu kufuneka azimisele ukujonga omnye umntu ngokubambisana, ukuthinteka ngokomzwelo okanye ukuzaliseka kweemfuno zabo. Ngenxa yemicimbi yokuthembela okanye ukungabi nantlonelo, abantwana abadala abanxilisayo abanakho ukuvumela ukuba benze oko. Ngamanye amazwi, banokulwa nobudlelwane obunothando kunye nokuphepha ukuthetha nabanye, ngokubanzi.
Ziyathemba iiNgxaki
Emva kokukhula kwimeko apho ukuphika, ukuxoka, nokugcina izimfihlakalo kwakuqhelekileyo, abantwana abadala banoxwala banokuba neengxaki ezinkulu zokuthembela . Zonke izithembiso ezigqityiweyo zexesha elidlulileyo zibaxelela ukuba ukuthembela komnye umntu kuya kubuyiselwa kubo kwixesha elizayo.
Uthuthumele ukuxothwa
Ngenxa yokuba umzali wabo onxilisayo wayengenakufumaneka okanye mhlawumbi angabikho, abantwana abakhulu banxila banokuba noloyiko olukhulu lokushiywa. Ngenxa yoko, banokuzifumana bebambelele kwiintsebenziswano ezifanele ukuphela ngenxa yokuba abafuni ukuba bodwa.
Yethusa Abantu Abathukutheleyo
Ukuba umzali wengotywala yomntwana wayethetha okanye ahlukumeze xa bebanxile, abantwana abadala bangakhula ngoyiko lwabo bonke abantu abanomsindo . Basenokuchitha ubomi babo bephephe ukungquzulana okanye ukuxabana kwanaluphi na uhlobo, becinga ukuba kunokuguquka.
Uhlala ufuna imvume
Ngenxa yokuba bahlala bezigweba ngokugqithiseleyo, abanye abantwana abanomdakwa banxila bahlala befuna imvume kwabanye. Bokuba ngabantu abonwabileyo abachotshozwayo xa umntu engayonwabanga nabo. Bayeke ukwesaba ukugxekwa.
Unokuba ngumntu onoxanduva
Mhlawumbi ukuphepha ukugxekwa okanye umsindo womzali wabo onxilisayo, abantwana abaninzi abasuka kumakhaya anxilisayo baba nexanduva okanye baphelele . Bangakwazi ukuba ngabagqithisileyo okanye abasebenzi. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, banokuya kwindlela eyahlukileyo, ukuba babe ngamalungu omntu ongenakuxanduva.
ILizwi
Iimvakalelo ezingokomzwelo nezingokwengqondo ezinokuthi abantwana bakwazi ukuhlalisa emakhaya anxilisayo banokuba bunzulu kangangokuthi banokuhlala bebadala. Ukuba unengxaki yotywala kwaye unabantwana ekhaya, nceda uzame ukufumana uncedo. Ukugxininisa ngothando lwabantwana bakho nendlela ukusela kwakho kunokubachaphazela ngayo kunokuhamba ixesha elide ekukhuthazeni ukuba uphuze ukusela okanye ukuyeka konke. Bafanelwe ukuba utshintsho-kwaye kunjalo nawe.
Ngokufanayo, ukuba ungumntwana womzali onobunxila (okanye unezinye iingxaki zomlingo) kwaye unemibuzo engaphezulu okanye nayiphi na imiba yengxaki yengqondo, nceda ufuna inkxaso. Awuyedwa, kwaye unelungelo lokuncediswa unyango.
> Imithombo
- > Iziko leZonyango lokuShatshazwa kweziyobisi. Ukunceda Uphulukise: Ukubuyisela Isikhokelo Somntu Ukujongana Neempembelelo Zobundlobongela Bantwana . I-HHS yokupapashwa kweNombolo (SMA) 12-4134. I-Rockville, MD: Ukusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi kunye noLawulo lweeNkonzo zezeMpilo, ngo-2012.
- > Iziko leZonyango lokuShatshazwa kweziyobisi. Ukunceda Uphulukise: Isikhokelo seKhosi yeSetyhini sokujongana neempembelelo zobundlobongela kwabantwana . I-HHS yokupapashwa kweNombolo (SMA) 12-4132. I-Rockville, MD: Ukusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi kunye noLawulo lweeNkonzo zezeMpilo, ngo-2012.
- > Eiden RD, i-Molnar DS, i-Colder C, i-Edwards EP, uLeonard KE. Umzekelo wendlela yokuqikelela ukugxilwa kweengxaki phakathi kobuntwana obuphakathi phakathi kwabantwana bootata abangabinxilisayo nabangenabo-ntloko: indima yobundlobongela bomtshato. J Stud Utywala Iidakamizwa . 2009 Sep; 70 (5): 741-50.
- > Uluhlu lokuhlamba. Abantwana abadala baseNkcazo yeNkonzo yeSizwe yoTywala. http://www.adultchildren.org/lit/Laundry_List.php.
- > Woititz JG. Iimpawu ezi-13 zeBantwana abadala abaNxilisayo. ISibonelelo seZiko loLwazi lwaBantwana abadala. http://www.drjan.com/13-characteristics-children-growing-up-in-broken-homes.php.